It does need spacing, and I agree completely with the above but it was good, very attention catching.
I'm intrigued to see what stopped Gerard, and where you'll go with this.
Unfortunately though if you don't have spacing and the following chapters are more than 666 words I won't be able to read it. It's a bit of a bother.
Anyway, good job!
Author's response
Thankyou so much for reviewing and liking my story!!!!!!! hopefully I can improve on this for next time....:)