^ What she said.
I'm one of those people who says "I'm there for you". Not because I want to feel like or be a hero- after all, what can I expect to do?- but because I genuinely hate seeing people suffer. But, that's just me :)
You might not believe me on this, but faking only makes everything hate worse. But, it's your decisions to do it if you want.
Nobody has the right to judge you for this. Fuck, this takes so much bravery to say this out in the open like this.
I really do hope you can get better, but it's not in my power to make you or anything.
All I'm trying to say is: Your choices are your choices. Nobody else's.