you're giving up.
it's pissing me off.
you're telling me you don't deserve all this - you don't deserve love or any shot at getting better. why?
stop selling yourself like this criminal. like you're scum.
i am not disappointed in you. or saddened. i am angry.
why are you throwing all of this away?
get off this computer. throw away every link to the internet. it's making you sick.
go outside. find a children's park and play with the kids over there. they'll remind you that things don't have to be so heavy.
you don't need to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
if people are having a damn jolly time and you're not, get out of there. do not give up in the pursuit of your own happiness. stop being such a damn martyr.
so, yea, you fucked with some people. maybe you hurt them. what about you?
how were you feeling that day?
did anyone ask you?
you do not need to care about them every waking minute of your life. you need to take care of yourself.
do things that make you happy.
please, if you're going to do this, don't go when you're sad.
do it cos you want to be happy.
but you can't fucking tell me you're going to go out
without falling in love
seeing the world
following yours dreams
doing it all
and then some
i want you to try ^^ those things first
then you can die.
that's all i ask.
i hope you don't do this.
Look. I have hurt more then a few people. It's the sick sadistic way that I did it that I feel so awful about it.
I have no more dreams.
I have fallen in love and currently in a realationship with someone that I recently met. But I am just going to end it because: 1. My mom doesn't really agree with homosexual realationships 2. I am going to move and she is moving somewhere to. Both of us agreed its best.
Also I honestly don't deserve it. :)
I'm sorry if this just angers you further but... You haven't really seen what the real me does to people. If you did I'm sure you would be saying something entirely different.
Also... I can't promise that those things will happen before I die. If they due then I'll be sure to think of you.
But in all honesty I derserve every single bit if what I wrote.