Review for Wild
Wild
(#) MarkPoa 2006-12-28 01:02:00 AM
Not bad. I'm not sure about the choice of title though... since I'm not sure how it fits into the story.
I support experimental styles in writing, but there seems to be some part in the first group of dialogue that was confusing, where I kinda lost track of who was saying what. This also made the "Years pass" line a bit jarring. Could there possibly be a way to indicate the passage of time aside from that? Maybe consistent page-breaks or lines (*) instead?
I support experimental styles in writing, but there seems to be some part in the first group of dialogue that was confusing, where I kinda lost track of who was saying what. This also made the "Years pass" line a bit jarring. Could there possibly be a way to indicate the passage of time aside from that? Maybe consistent page-breaks or lines (*) instead?
Author's response
Thanks for the comments. Where exactly did the first block lose you? On the 'years pass' line, that doesn't seem to fit, I admit. Some sort of separator line might work, but it is important to get across the significant passage of time.
On the title, from the some points of view, the main character has 'gone wild'.
On the title, from the some points of view, the main character has 'gone wild'.
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