Review for Half a Goddess 2

Half a Goddess 2

(#) NuuoaEclaire 2006-05-25

I actually think this is getting really good now. One thing, you seem to change the tenses (Hope I spelt that right). One time you'll say, "She looks around and then walks towards the door." Other times you'll say, "She looked around and walked towards the door." I'd go with the second example. As for the title, I don't know. It's up to you. Maybe "The secrets behind her smile". I don't know, you choose.

Author's response

ya i am having trouble with the tenses, a few people have told me that already... :( hehe anyways i think that is actually a great title.