There are numerous gramatical errors in this chapter. I suspect they are a partial result of the spell check's auto-correction.
Check out the following passages:
Ha'alem walked towards the gates of Hogwarts, the little toy castle but with strong defenses. He walked in his disguise of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore ... hopefully this is enough to penetrate the wards.
Wouldn't "Hopefully this will be enough
to penetrate the wards" be better?
Voldemort looked at Ha'alem with his burning eyes. "The wards of Hogwarts did not let you in ... but there is a way to enter the castle without triggering those wards ... during the welcoming feast I want you to go to the castle ... and you will have a feast ... with thousand souls ... you can also get Severus Snape ... I want that you eat every creature in Hogwarts."
Shouldn't that be "...With a thousand souls..." and "... I want you to eat every creature in Hogwarts"?
"I want you to wait ... there is no one who suspect that Dumbledore is gone."
Shouldn't that be suspects, with an S at the end?
"You know Harry ... you have an extra scarve. Harry raised an eyebrow. "Scarve ... where" he asked.
Scarve? Perhaps you mean Scar?
"Yes I did, but he was not in Hogwarts ... according Minerva he was not in Minerva since the evening that we left.
Sounds like you're saying that he was claiming to be having sexual intercourse with Minerva, but she denies it. Perhaps you mean he was not in Hogwarts that evening?
In addition, what happened something else in Hogwarts. This morning something triggered the defenses of Hogwarts ... what ever it was, that something flew very soon after the wards were on full strength, according Minerva."
Several errors here. Perhaps you can reread this? The first sentance is badly worded, and later you should have used "fled", not "flew".
"I teleported also to Hogwarts", Harry said. "Hogwarts detected a daemon trying to enter the castle, and Minerva was right, the wards got triggered and were busy to power-up, but before it could reach full strength, the daemon was already gone. I found magical traces of it right outside the perimeter of the wards ... it was a daemon."
Another badly worded sentance. Words in the wrong order, bad phrasing. Just look at it and read it out loud, you'll see the problems.
There were others that had bad sentance structure, but I never got good enough grades in English to help correct those. I'm starting to wonder, is English your first language? Either that, or you never proof-read your stories before posting them here. This kind of thing is what beta-readers are for. If somebody like me, who's highest grade in any English writing class was B- can spot these things, (more like a C average)then I imagine there must be more subtle ones like split infinitives and sentance fragments that I didn't spot.