Ryan's bad day just got worse.
(#) Life_is_42 2008-06-17 10:59:51 PMok,i have so much to say to you! one...this story is on my alerts list because i cannot afford to NOT keep reading!
this is SO well written! just ENOUGH description so that its not too much, but enough so it doesn't sound like its been written by an illiterate monkey (like some fan fiction Shudder).
you have also (and i truly applaud you for this!) cleverly avoided falling into writting a stereotypically emo character.
i will admit that at the first chapter i thought 'oh no. typical ryden. typical emo 'i'm-going-to-go-cut-my-wrist-now' story/character of ryan. but...i kept reading.
and i'm so glad that i did! you have depth to ryan's character. he's not just emo. he's flawed. and somehow the way you've written this, so we know he is flawed (with his blame games etc) and he knows it. i can't really put into words how you've avoided the stereotype...but you have. gah i'm befuddling myself, and probably you even more so...just know that i love the depth of this story!!! and keep writing!
Author's responseMy, how this review made me smile.
I'm glad you think I'm not an illiterate monkey.
And I'm also very, very happy to hear someone say that I don't have too much description. I usually fear that I need to stop with all the adjectives and metaphors and just get to the point. But, hearing you say that I have just the right amount, makes me very pleased. :]
Emo Ryan? Well, when I first started writing this, I was unaware that Ryan could fall into the category of 'emo', but I soon realized that maybe he has. I just always thought he was majorly flawed and to be frank, rather fucked up.
But, I am so very, very happy that I had avoided the stereotype. [Because, quite frankly, I despise them.] And, I don't want this to be unoriginal and cliche, and well, stereotypical.
Thank you for the amazing review and I surely hope you read more. :]
(#) medicatedlives 2008-06-18 01:46:46 AMReally, you've got an amazing story going. It's very well written and isn't some typical love story. Overall, awesome job. I can't wait for the next update!
Now, I don't want to disappoint you, but there might be a little romance here or there. =/
Alas, I'm not revealing anything, so...
Thank you for the review. :]
- Hey, i really like this story, its original, and a nice change.
I totally agree with what Life_is_42, you have avoided the sterotype of emo ryan and added something different. thankyou =]
i love Helen!
Author's responseAwe, thank you so much.
I'm glad that I've added something new. I'm always worried I may write something a little cliche. =/
But, thanks for the review!
- I think this story is absolutely brilliant!!!! It's the best thing I've ever read on ficwad, which is saying something coz I read everything on here! I have no idea how you can possibly think your writing sucks, I love the adjectives, the style, the was you describe not only the characters but the setting, something a lot of amature writers miss. Also how you're not overloading the story with speach and sticking to the same style throughout (although I am yet to read further chapters, I just had to review when I read your notes). You have a real gift, and I personally have not been able to stop reading this story despite the ridiculous hour! I truely wish I could write like you do. Boring? Never! I hope the story continues to enthrall me as did the last chapters. If there is any fault I can find with your writing it was the over-use of the word 'alas' in the first few chapters, but that's not really a flaw, that's just me being picky! Keep up the excellent standard, if I have to review every chapter to keep you writing this story I will! I'm addicted :-D
Author's responseIs this a new reviewer, I spy?
Why yes, I think it is!
Firstly, might I say I love you? Because I do. You are the sweetest person ever and this review had totally brightened me up quite a bit. :D
The best thing you've ever read, eh? Wow, I didn't realize that this story was that good to be the best. This comment makes me so extremely happy. :D
Ackk, I have pretty low self-esteem on a lot of things. Writing is just another thing on the list. Although, I'm glad to hear that I'm not overloading the story with speech and adjectives, because that's what I usually fear.
I believe that the flaws I have when writing is that there are too many adjectives and a lot of run-on sentences. BUT-- When you told me that everything is set just right, it caused a huge grin to spread across my face. I'm so glad that things make sense and I'm not too adjective-happy. Haha.
Well, I only thought the few first chapters were slightly boring considering nothing actually happened, yanno? Still, I'm excited that you thought otherwise. :D
LOL; yes, I do tend to use 'alas' a lot when writing, but I'm working on that and someone had mentioned that in a later chapter, so you won't be seeing much of that word anymore. :D
Well, I'm certainly happy to hear that you enjoy this story as much as you do. It makes me feel confident as a writer when I receive such nice reviews like these. Thank you so much for this outstanding review. :D