First challenge and dinner.
I woke up the next morning, with my head buried in blankets and my pillow nowhere to be found. I sat up and saw my pillow was on Sara’s bed, and she was sitting up and giggling.
“You threw your pillow at me last night.”
“Oh, sorry. I’m kind of a…weird sleeper.”
“Oh, we’ve noticed.” Tiffany came in the room next, snarling at me. I just shrugged.
“Sorry babe, that’s how I sleep. What time is it?”
“It’s about 6:30.” Sara said.
“What?! Why the hell are you all ready then?” I said, nodding at Tiffany.
“Because I have a man to impress, and unlike you, I have stuff to work with.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, that’s all fine and dandy, but I’m going back to sleep. Hey, Sara, will you please give me back my pillow?”
“Yea.” She smiled and threw my pillow back to me. I smiled and threw it under my head, and gathered my blankets up, and fell back to sleep.
“Kate?” I felt someone sit next to me and whisper in my ear.
“Go away.” I murmured harshly.
“It’s Pete.” The voice said shyly.
“Oh, well in that case, I don’t want to move the blankets out of my face.”
“Because I probably look like a crazy homeless woman.”
He laughed. “I’m sure it’s not that bad.” I felt him grab at the blankets and pull them away from my face. When I saw the light, I realized the blankets where no longer in my face, so I squinted up and saw Pete smiling down at me.
“Your right, you do resemble a crazy homeless woman.” He joked.
“Haha, you slay me, Wentz.” I sat up. “Why the lovely morning wakeup call, may I ask?”
“Well, I saw everybody downstairs except for you, so I came looking.”
“Yea, I like to not follow the crowd.” I stretched my arms up and scratched my head. “May I ask what we are doing today?”
“Fine, then I won’t ask.”
Pete laughed. “Why don’t you come downstairs, and then I’ll tell you.”
I wrinkled my nose. “And lose you to a mob of crazed girls? No thank you.” I tugged his arm down. “How about we just stay up here?”
“I’m sure the girls will notice I’m gone.”
I frowned. “Gosh, don’t spend time with me then. I’ll just take my shower.” I got up and moved my way towards the bathroom.
“Aw, c’mon Kate. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with you.”
“I know.” I turned around and looked at him before going into the bathroom door. “I told you I need a shower.”
“I don’t want you to be mad at me.”
“You sure?” He asked seriously. He got up and walked up next to me.
“I’m sure.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek lightly. When I leaned back, Pete grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in again for another kiss.
“PETEY! OH PETEY!” I heard Tiffany’s voice ring through the halls. I sighed and leaned back from him. Pete shrugged. I smiled.
“Go get ‘em tiger.”
Pete smiled and then kissed me one more time before answering the crazy ho’s call.
I had to chuckle to myself before going in and taking my shower.
I walked down the stairs to herds of screaming girls gabbling over breakfast. I went downstairs into the kitchen, which was now occupied by two girls, that I hadn’t seen before. I guess I missed a lot last night.
“Oh, Hey-you’re Kate, right?”
I nodded. “Sorry, but I don’t remember your names.”
“I’m Tori.” One girl said. She had bright blonde hair and her eyebrow pierced, I noticed. I thought we might be able to get along. I turned to the other girl was had spoken to me earlier.
“I’m Kathy.” I looked Kathy over. She was kinda chubby, and he nose was pierced. Not really the most attractive I had seen here, but hey.
“Nice to meet you.” I walked over to the fridge, pulled out some milk, and put it on the counter. I felt the two girls eyes’ on me the entire time. I went to the cabinet next to the fridge, and to my delight, a box of Frankenberry cereal was waiting for me.
Hurr-ray. I pulled that out of the cabinet along with a bowl and a spoon. Then I made my great meal. Tori and Kathy stared at me the whole time. I pretended not to noticed, and tried to preoccupy myself with stuff, like tracing the curves on the countertop. I was waiting for them to leave. But they wouldn’t. I tried to finish my cereal as fast as I could. I was just about finishing up when one of the girls yelled.
I dropped my spoon, startled. I looked up and saw Pete standing there. A camera was right behind him. Pete laughed.
“Good morning ladies.”
The two other girls ran over to him and wrapped themselves around him. Pete kissed each one on the cheek. It made me want to gag.
“How are you guys today?” Pete asked.
“Better, now that you’re here.” Kathy cooed. I stifled a laugh. Kathy turned around and glared at me. Pete smiled.
“I got enough arm room for you too, Kate.” Pete said, and stretched his arm out more.
I swirled my spoon around in my bowl. “Ooh, tempting. But I think I should finish my cereal.” I took another bite. Pete pulled his arms away from the other two girls and came over to me. He peered over into my bowl.
“Ah, Frankenberry, nice choice.” He commented. “You know, I think that is my own personal stash you are eating.”
I shifted my weight over, so I was leaning more towards him. “You know, I think you should learn to share a bit better Pete.”
“It’s only fair.”
“What do you mean?”
I peered at him. “Well, I’m sharing you with all these…girls. I think the nicest thing to do at this point is share some cereal.”
Pete laughed. “Sounds reasonable.” He leaned down and grabbed my hand. “How about we go out and I tell you what we are doing today?”
I crinkled my nose. “Ok, I kinda don’t want to move though.”
He smiled. “Ok.” He leaned down and picked me up.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“What, you want me to put you down?”
“NO!” I yelled. He looked a bit taken back. “Just warn me next time.” I said quickly, and blushed. He smiled.
“Ok then.” He started to carry me into the other room. I peeked back at Kathy and Tori. They had the death look staring at me. It quite honestly, scared me a little. And pissed me off. Pete carried me into the other room, where the rest of the girls were standing. They all stared at me, hard. Pete didn’t seem to notice, but I did. I thought they were going to kill me with their eyes. Pete set me down, laughing and kissed my cheek, I smiled lightly, then tried not to die while walking into the line of girls that were already standing there. Tori and Kathy ran out of the kitchen too, and got into line. Pete smiled.
“Allright girls, we all know my career. And I need a tough girl, one that can connect with the feeling of what I do.”
What the hell are we doing?
If he wants me to sing, I’m screwed. I’d rather eat bull penis.
“That’s why,” He continued. “I’m taking you all somewhere special for a challenge. You have five minutes to be ready.”
Every girl’s eyes got wide when they realized how much time they had. Pete smiled.
“Get to it.” He said. Everyone sprinted up the stairs, including me. I still had my PJ’s on. I scrambled up the stairs, put on a pair of jeans, and a The Used shirt. Then I threw my hair up into a ponytail, and went back downstairs. There was another girl downstairs, holding onto Pete and talking to him sweetly. Pete was clearly enjoying himself. Other girls ran downstairs next to me, and we all went outside and piled into a limo. Then we drove for about ten minutes, and when we got outside, we were outside of a concert hall. I could guess what was going to happen. We all piled out of the car. I read some of the other girls expressions. Most of them were clueless. Except for Tori.
“Great, we going to see Pete play bass.” She muttered next to me. I nodded at her, and then Pete walked out and stood in front of us.
“I’m sure you all can tell where we are,” Pete started. I scoffed. Really only two people knew where we were. “It’s a concert hall. I need a tough girl, that knows how to fend for herself and get what she wants. I’m sure you’ve all been to a concert before, and not necessarily a Fall Out Boy one. So, you’re goal, is to get to the front, and grab my hand. The first one to grab my hand wins.” Pete smiled.
I immediately realized I knew I could win this challenge. I took out my nose ring, my lip ring, and my septum piercing. No bitch was about to rip those out.
“Getting ready Kate?” Pete asked. Every girl turned and looked at me shove my rings into my pocket.
“Fuck yea Pete, I paid good money for these.”
He chuckled. “Well, you should be. Because you are going to have some highly trained moshers blocking you path to me. Good luck.” He winked at us, then went inside. Every girl looked at one and other, and I just smiled. I honor myself to also be a highly trained mosher. We were then led by some big, hairy man inside the building. It was already hot and humid inside, and I looked out into the crowd. Pete sure did a lousy job of picking out big, tough men to get by. Sure, there were a few. But other than that, they were all anorexic girls. I saw A couple people come out on the stage, and I soon realized one of them was Pete. I smiled.
Time for some bitches to be knocked out.
Pete leaned into the mic after grabbing his bass. “Everyone ready?” He said. Everyone yelled. He smiled. “Good.” He started playing the intro to ‘Dance, Dance.’ Everyone in front of me started swaying and moving around. I knew the moshing had began, and I needed to get in there. I sucked in my breath, and dived in. There were people jumping around me, so I jumped up and down too, trying to match their pace. I knew that would make it somewhat easier for me. I squeezed my arm inbetween two people, and got glaring looks as I was able to slide past them. Hur-rah. I got past the next few girls no problem. They switched the song to ’Where is your boy tonight’. I tried peeking up on my tiptoe to see how far up I was, but I was immediately pulled back down. Ugh. I never have a problem with my height until concerts. I squished past a few more people, and then almost tripped on where the floor lifted up. I smiled to myself. I must be near the stage. I reached my hand up as high as I could, hoping that maybe I would somehow grab Pete. They started playing ‘I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Getting You Off.’ I pushed myself up to see where I was at.
You know how I thought I was at the front?
No, no. I was in the middle. I was fucking pissed.
That’s when I tapped some big man on the shoulder, and simply said,
“Lift me up, throw me far.”
I didn’t care at this point that I was just going to get groped, it was the easiest way to get up there.
The guy nodded at me, grabbed me by the waist, and threw me up into the air, I flailed around for a minute, then landed on a group of people who threw me to another group and so on. Before I knew it, They dropped me in front of the stage. I stood up before they could smother me, and saw Joe in front of me. Shit. Pete was on the other side, Joe looked at me curiously, and I just yelled.
“SWITCH SIDES WITH PETE!”
Joe laughed, and nodded, then looked at Pete and nodded. Pete nodded back, and both spun around until the had switched sides. I thrust my hand into the air, and screamed “PETE! PETE! PETE!” After about the tenth time, he looked down at me, and then at my sweaty palm. He smiled, and leaned down and grabbed it. Then he lifted me onstage. He leaned into his mic and said. “Ok, it’s done!” Everyone stopped playing, and the mosh pit stopped moving. He let go of my hand.
“Sick Kate, your sweaty.”
I punched him in the shoulder, but I know I didn’t do any damage. He just smiled and pulled me close to him.
“Hey, I thought I was SWEATY.” I sneered. He rubbed his sweaty face on mine.
“It’s ok, I am too.”
“You smell though.” I said, wrinkling my nose.
“I can shower.”
“Thank god.” I smiled, and when he looked a little hurt, I kissed his cheek. He smiled, and leaned into the mic.
“Kate has won the first challenge, and gets a date with me tonight.” He pushed me foreward, and everyone moved so I could step off the stage. Everyone on the reality show made their way back outside, shooting me hated glances when they could. It didn’t bother me so much, though. I was on a natural high all the way home. Hell, I was on a natural high all up until I somehow got back up into my room with Tiffany staring me down.
“You know you shouldn’t have won that challenge, right?”
“Huh?” I said, surprised.
“You heard me.”
“How did I not win?”
“I should’ve won.”
“Well, then, why didn’t you?” I snicker. “Hate to break it to you, but your not that great.”
“So says you.” She snarled.
“So knows me. I’m really done with this pointless arguing. I’m gonna go do something.” I got up and went downstairs, trying to find something worth my time. I looked to the left of me, I saw a bookcase. I could read, but, I probably would get bored. I looked to my right, there was a curtain, with some noise coming out of it. I pushed the curtain inside and looked around. There was a huge T.V, and next to it a bunch of gaming systems. I next saw Andy, Patrick, and Joe playing Wii bowling. I was a champ at that game.
“Am I not allowed to come in?”
They all turned around, startled, and looked at me for a minute. Patrick looked at Andy, and Andy looked at Joe. Joe shrugged.
“Yea, come on in.”
I pushed the curtain back into place as I walked into the dimly lit room. I started looked at the posters and random cd’s on the wall.
“Your Kate, right?” Andy said slowly, I nodded, still looking at the walls.
“You won the challenge today, didn’t you?” Patrick said.
“Mhmmm.” I said, then glanced at Joe. “Joe helped me out though.”
Joe’s cheeks reddened, and then he nodded.
“So, Kate, up for some Wii tennis?” Patrick said.
I smirked. “I warn you though, Patrick, I am going to win.”
“We will see.”
Me and Patrick made our way over to the TV, and Joe and Andy followed. They sat on the couch while me and Patrick had an intense battle on the Wii. I won, hands down.
“Wow.” Patrick said, grinning. “You’re too good for me.”
I laughed. “What can I say? I’m only good at sports on the TV.”
“Yea, Me too.” Patrick said, laughing. I looked back at Andy and Joe, who were grinning too. I moved towards the couch and sat down on the ground. Then I looked up at Andy.
“Anything I can help you with?” He grinned.
I shrugged. “Nah. I just need something to do around here. These girls are so boring!” I said, annoyed. I grabbed a pillow next to me and squeezed it.
“Oh, what, how about your roommate, Sarah?” Joe said, smiling.
I rolled my eyes. “If she squeaks at me one more time, I think my ears are going to bleed.”
Joe laughed. “Is she really that bad?”
“Yea, and what’s worse-she TALKS in her sleep. So I hear it in my dreams.”
Joe laughed again. I looked around the room and looked up at Patrick, who had been staring down at me.
“Yes Patrick?” I said.
Patrick shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m trying to think about…you and Pete together, I guess.”
“Do we not fit?”
He shrugged again. “Nah, it’s just, I don’t know. I guess I’m so just so used to him and Ashlee, that anyone else taking her place is weird.”
“Oh.” I looked down. I paused for a minute, then said, “Does he still want her?”
“Oh, no, no.” Patrick shook his head. “He ended it. He didn’t see it working out. But, It’s something I’ll have to get used to. Not seeing her anymore I guess. I don’t think a reality show was the right direction.”
“Oh.” I looked down.
“Wait, it’s not that I don’t like you Kate, it’s just-shit, I’ve said the wrong thing, haven’t I?” Patrick looked at me, flustered.
I smiled lightly. “It’s ok, I just, I don’t know. I need to think.” I got up and went back through the curtain, and walked up to my room.
*The Next Day
I woke up, and immediately got excited. Why?
I had a date with Pete.
And no drunk girl would spoil it.
I smiled to myself as I took a shower and got dressed. I put my hair down, normal. I wasn’t about to get all dressed up for him. I looked fine as it was. I went downstairs and Pete was waiting at the end of the staircase. I smiled as soon and I saw him. I ran to him and gave him a huge hug. He kissed me after the hug, and said,
“Where are we going?”
He took my hand. “You’ll see.”
“Oh, c’mon Pete, don’t play that card.”
“What card? I’m not playing.”
“Pete!” I groaned. He smiled and led me outside and into a limo. We got in and sat next to each other. He smiled at me.
“Where are we going?” I asked again. He shrugged.
“It’s a surprise.”
“I hate surprises.” I grumbled, and crossed my arms.
Pete smiled. “Why?”
“I like to know what’s going on.”
“You do. You’re going on a date with the most fantastic guy alive.”
I snorted. “Sounds more like I’m going on a date with the most big-headed guy alive.”
Pete frowned. “Do you really want our first date to start like this?”
“It wouldn’t have if you would just tell me what’s going on.” I stared at him.
“Well, I’m not telling you, so might as well stop acting like a five year old.”
“I’ll act how I want to act, and right now my five year old self is pissed.”
“What about the 23 year old you?”
I tried to hold back a smile. “Wants a lot of different things.”
“Like what?” Pete leaned in closer to me. I uncrossed my arms.
“Oh, they smell bad. You don’t want that. Anything else?” He put his hand on my knee.
“A tattoo of your face on my ass.”
“I’m sure that can be arranged. Anything else?” He kissed my shoulder and smiled.
“A can of lemon cool whip.”
“Does cool whip make lemon flavor? Does cool whip even come in cans?” He said, wrinkling his brow.
I shrugged. “I dunno. But I want it.”
He smiled. “Is that it?”
I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and pulled his face into mine. Then the car abruptly stopped. I groaned.
“Just when I was making my move!”
“Oh, I think your gonna like this place.”
“Pete, don’t make me angry.”
“C’mon, this is a classic.”
“Ok..” He took my hand and led me out.
You know where we were?
We were standing in the parking lot of a Burger King. No way. I turned to Pete and just stared at him.
“You’re a character, you know that?” I said.
“I’ve been told.”
He took my hand and led me inside. No one was in there except us, and I assumed it would stay that way. He led me up to the register and the 16 year old said, very rehearsed.
“Welcome to Burger King, What can I get you?”
Pete smiled. “Um. You have any lemon cool whip?”
The girl looked at Pete, confused.
“No, sir. I’m afraid we don’t.”
“Damn.” he turned to me. “I’m sorry babe, they don’t have any. What else would you want?” He kissed my forehead. I rolled my eyes at him.
“Oh dang. Get me some fries or something.”
“Ok.” He turned back and ordered a meal for about ten people, while I went and sat in a booth. He came a minute later and sat next to me. He smiled at me.
“So, where were we?” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. I just smiled and kissed him back.
“Your such a weirdo, Pete. I love it.”
He smiled and our food came out and was put on our table. I grabbed a thing of French fries and started munching down. Pete laughed and took a drink of his soda.
“What? I like French fries.”
“Ha, most girls are afraid they will get fat if they eat French fries. Aren’t you afraid?”
“Of getting fat?”
“Nah. I’m not a lazy ass that sits there all day. I’ll eat what I want. Girls are so self conscious these days.” I shook my head and ate a few more French fries. Pete smiled.
“Tell me more about you.” He said.
“Well, what do you want to know?” I took a sip of the pop.
“Well, my life hasn’t been the most glamorous. It’s been entertaining, but not healthy.”
“How so?” He leaned into me more.
I sighed. “It’s complicated. There are so many twists and turns..”
“We have time.”
I sucked in my breath. “When I turned 15. I got this boyfriend. His name was Derek. He…pressured me into some things..”
“Like, what exactly?”
“Drugs. Alcohol. Prostitution. The normal.”
“What?” Pete looked at me, bewildered.
“I was so naïve. I thought he loved me. He told me, the heroin, and the pot would make everything better. That if I just tried it, it would be worth my while…he told me he loved me. I wanted to understand what was so great about all of it. Eventually, I was hooked. I was stealing money to get the drugs. I was drinking every night too. I would sneak out to see Derek, every night. Even if I was sober. He forced me to have sex with his drunken, high, ass every night. I couldn’t leave him though. He was going to take care of me.
“This went on for about two years. I was 17 by now, and Derek was 21. It would get to the point where I was having disgusting sex with him every night, even when I didn’t want it. After all of them I would drink. I would drink until I passed out next to him. Then when I would wake up, I would get high. Off anything-whatever Derek had left over. He told me this was the way everybody lived. I thought he was right. By this point I had lost all of my close friends. My parents didn’t trust me at all, and my schoolwork was inexistent. I didn’t care about graduating. I had Derek. When I turned 18, I had moved in with him. He was out of cash, and we had nothing to keep our addiction’s fulfilled. We were almost evicted. Until Derek told me to sleep with the landlord.
“That opened a whole new idea for Derek. Use me to get money. Not work a single day of his life. I was a pretty girl, I could fulfill every man’s fantasies if they asked me. He knew that was all I had to do, was ask me, and I would melt at his feet. Do anything for him. He came to me with the idea, and I hesitantly, accepted. He pushed me out on the street every night and expected me to find my way home. Most of the time, I did. I turned 19. I thought Derek would give me the night off, you know? Celebrate it together. Instead, he pushed me out of the car, and told me I was a piece of shit. That I meant nothing to him and I should die for what I had done to him.”
“What did you do to him?” Pete asked hesitantly.
“I, I….One night I drank before I went to work. I wouldn’t sleep with the client. I told him he was a sad old pervert and he should find a real woman. That mistake cost Derek his heroin for the week. He dumped me out of the side of the road and started dating the next hooker on the street next to me.” I looked away from him sadly, and stared at Derek’s name tattooed under my collarbone. “The police found me laying on the street corner the next morning, with heroin in my system. They took me to jail, where my parents busted me out. They sent me to rehab as soon as they could. I was in there for 16 months before I could become somewhat normal again.”
Pete just stared at me, not believing a word I had just said.
“Andy, I want to visit my shop.” I said staring at a new tattoo magazine.
“I feel like a professional groupie.” I whined throwing the magazine across our bed.
“What?” he asked
“Seeing all these FOB whores, it’s making me feel like I’m the O.G. of fucking fall out boy groupies.”
“Baby,” he said crawling over towards me and wrapping his arm around my waist, “You know that’s not true. Before we were even big you had the successful business and big name clients. Shit if it wasn’t for some of you connections we wouldn’t even be as huge as we are.”
I smiled, “Yeah you would.”
“But I wouldn’t be the same without you.”
I kissed him softly, “Thank you.”
“Yeah, this show is going to make us all go-”
He was interrupted by a shut door to the room next to us.
“Pete’s back.” I noted.
“I think I’m going to go see how is date with Kate was.”
I kissed Andy on the cheek and he sighed.
When I reached the door, I turned at the door and looked back at him, “Don’t worry I’ll be back in a second.”
He shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows.
I opened the door that connected Andy and mines room with Pete’s.
I took a quick glance around and Pete was sitting on his bed staring at the ceiling. His hoodie was thrown on the opposite side of the room. He ran his hands threw his hands quickly and breathed loudly.
“Jackey this is getting very deep already.”
“What?” I asked confused
“Kate told me like her whole life story.”
“It’s not that horrible.” I laid stomach down on the bed and crossed my ankles.
“Oh you don’t know the half of it.” He said shaking his head.
“Actually I do.”
“How?” he asked.
“She came and talked to me after she played video games with the guys.”
“Am I blowing it out of proportion?” he asked after a few seconds of silence.
“It’s a big deal and that’s some heavy shit but honestly would you have liked to find it out now or when shes in the final four?”
“Now,” he mumbled
“And I think she is fine now. She’s been through a ton of therapy, amazingly has no STDs, and is trying to make something better of her life now.”
“You really like her, huh?” he asked.
“Yeah she’s the only real down to earth person I’ve met so far.”
He gave me a questioning look, “Have you even gave the other girls a chance?”
“Have you really talked to any others?”
I looked around and whistled.
“That’s not fair.” he said
“They all look like they would have photo shopped pictures of you two together for their default on myspace and their names be Mrs. Wentz.”
“Jackey that’s not fair.”
“Give them a chance.”
“How?” I asked.
“I know exactly how,” he smiled.
“Oh god.” I said scared.
“Your going to have dinner with them.”
“I can’t cook.”
“Then they’ll cook for you.” He said simply as if they were his minions.
“Just because they are fighting for your love does not mean you can force them to do whatever you want Mister big head.” I said poking him.
“Jackey, I wasn’t being a big headed bitch. I want to see how well they pay attention to ALL parts of my life. My personality, my music, and of course my B.F.F!” he squealed the last word.
I shook my head and punched him in the shoulder, “Fine, but if I punch some bitch out it’s not my fault.”
“I’ll go announce it to the girls, you go get ready.” He jumped up and down like an excited puppy.
I went back over to my room and leaned against the door making a pouty face.
“Andy! Pete’s making me have a dinner with all the girls.”
He shrugged, “You should have stayed here with me.”
“I know,” I whined, “I just really wanted to know how the date went.”
“Curiosity killed the cat.” he said wagging a finger at me.
I threw off my shirt and looked at him rolling my eyes. I opened the top drawer and dug threw looking for my PETA tank top. I threw that on along with a clandestine hoodie and changed from my pajama pants to my jeans.
Andy raised an eyebrow, “Listen.”
I quieted down and heard Pete speaking.
“Tonight your going to be having a special dinner with someone really important to me.” He paused, “So go get ready and have a seat at the table, you have less than five minutes.”
They all ran up the stair and it sounded like a heard of elephants. I jumped on the bed next to Andy, wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest.
“Jackey what did we get ourselves into?”
“I have no idea and DO NOT call me ‘Jackey’.”
“Why do you hate that so much? Pete calls you Jackey.”
“Because Pete is a greasy ass hole and I’ve tried to get him to stop, but does he listen to me? No!”
“It’s one dinner, It’ll be ok.”
“What if I contract a disease just by looking at those bitches.” I whispered dramatically
“Then I guess I’ll just have to stay away from you, for a long time.” He said rolling away.
“NO!” I shouted jumping on top of him. “You’ll never leave me, right?”
“How could I?” he asked, “It would be like walking away from the best thing in the world.”
I smiled and kissed him. We stopped when we heard someone clear their throats at the door.
“Would you please get off my drummer and do your job?”
“My job is a tattoo artist not your little bitch just an FYI.” I snapped.
“Kidding.” he said putting his hands up, “Now come on bitch.”
“See you after I strangle all the sluts.” I said and then kissed Andy’s cheek.
“Play nice,” he warned.
I shut the door and Pete and I walked to the entrance of the dining room.
“Wait here.” he said excitedly.
He walked in the doors and shut them quickly. I pressed my ear against the door to listen to my ‘introduction’. This shit should be good.
“Hello, ladies.” he said.
“Hi Pete,” they sang back like they were trained dogs.
“You have all gathered here to have a dinner with someone very special to me.”
They all murmured guesses.
“She’s smart, beautiful, talented, and also very hard to impress.” he described.
“Hell yeah bitch, I’m fucking top notch.” I thought.
“Is it his mom?” someone asked.
“Now, she’s going to tell me exactly what she thinks of all of you. And she doesn’t deal well with fakeness so please be real.”
“Who is it?” I recognized Kate’s voice whine.
I walked threw the doors, “Me, bitches.”
Everyone’s eyes got huge. I stood next to Pete and he just shook his head at me. He glanced around at the table and tapped my shoulder.
“Good luck ladies.” he said on the way out.
I walked to the head of the table and took my spot. They all stared at me like I held some magic wand that controlled if they were going to stay or go. I randomly took some food of the serving trays and started to eat. They all continued to stare.
“Did you guys want to pray or something?” I asked.
They all began to dig into the food.
“Are you a vegetarian or something?” one asked.
“Uhh, yeah.” I answered as retardily as she asked it.
“So Jackelyn who had the love bat tattoo first you or Pete?” Kate asked.
“Me, I was the original that bitch copied me.” I said slamming down a veggie taco.
“I’ve always wanted that tattoo done,” someone piped up.
“Yeah, you and a million other teenies.” I mumbled.
She went back to picking at her food. It got very quiet. The only noise that we could hear was people forks scraping the sides of people’s plates.
“You guys can ask me questions, I won’t bite. Promise.” I said trying to get them to speak.
They all looked around skeptically.
“How did you and Pete meet?”
I chewed my food for a second, and then answered. “Pre-school. Bitch tried to take away my shovel in the sand box. I told him what was up and we’ve been inseparable ever since.”
A few chuckles came from random places on the table, and then another girl asked:
“Have you guys ever dated?”
I laughed. “Um. I used him from time to time to get sickos away from me. But that’s about it. Oh, andwelostourvirginitiestoeachother.” I mumbled that last part and said it quickly. A few girls next to me heard. Tiffany was one of them.
“WHAT!?” She screeched.
“Hey now, you heard me. It’s not like it was a big deal.”
“Yes, it kinda is.” She hissed.
“Shut the fuck up you old whore, you’re just jealous you didn’t get it.” I shoved my fork into my plate and began shoveling food into my mouth.” The table was filled with tension. I was waiting for someone to break it.
“So-how did you and Andy get together.” Kate said, obviously trying to hint to the rejects around her that me and Pete would never be together again. I smiled at her.
“Pete introduced me to Andy a couple years ago. He was trying out for the drummer of Fall Out Boy. I had to pre-approve everyone, ya know?” I snickered at the thought. “It was love at first sight I guess. And I already knew Pete liked him. I was good to go.”
A couple girls awed, a couple made sick face, and some of those bitches didn’t even change their expression. I looked down at my now empty plate.
“Did you assholes make me dessert?” I asked.
A couple nodded, and two girls, I think their names were Mandy and Freda, went into the kitchen. They came out a second later, and set a cake in front of my face.
“Thanks Mandy, Freda.”
The girl who I knew as Freda turned to me and said, “My name’s Geena.”
“Opps. My bad.” I laughed. No one else returned the laugh, except I saw Kate and Tori snicker. I looked awkwardly at the cake.
“Uh, Let’s cut this bitch.” A knife was handed to me and I handed out slices to everyone. Except Tiffany.
“Why aren’t you having cake Tiffany?” I inquired.
“I’m trying to watch my figure.” She replied coolly.
“Why? You’re a stick.” I replied and took a bit of my cake.
“I just don’t want to lose that, thanks.” She looked down at her plate. I looked at the girl sitting next to Tiffany.
“OH! YOU’RE FREDA!” I screamed at her. Freda dropped her fork into her cake and nodded, scared and confused. “I got it now. I got it.” I nodded and said. Freda looked like a scared dog, and then went back to eating her cake. I looked at another girl at the table.
Kathy looked up at me, smiled and nodded.
“What do you do for a living Kathy?”
She swallowed her food. “I’m a real estate agent.”
“Oh.” I took a bit of cake. “What do you do for fun?”
“I-uh, I like to scuba dive, and, I like to go to shows.”
I pursed my lips. “Whose shows?”
“Well, I like, Black Eyed Peas-”
“What about Fergie?” I interrupted.
“Fergie?” She asked.
“Yea. Her solo stuff.”
“I like her solo stuff better.” Kathy murmured.
“Ah.” I personally cannot stand either artist, so her answer really didn’t matter to me.
I turned to a girl next to me.
“Why do you want to be here Heather?” I folded my arms together and put them under my chin. Heather looked at me, scared. She got the hardest question.
“I want to find, love. Of course.” She looked down and to the left. I knew she was lying.
I nodded. I looked at the next girl down the line.
“What about you-Jane?”
Jane looked at me calmly. “I came here for Pete, and I’m glad I got to talk to him.”
Typical Teenie answer. She was out tonight. I nodded, and then looked down at my empty plate.
“Well ladies, thanks for dinner. I’m going to go talk to Pete now, and you have eliminations in an hour. Good luck.” I slid out of my seat and walked calmly out of the room, and then ran upstairs to Pete’s room, where Andy, Pete, Joe and Patrick were waiting.
“Ooh, Pete, do I got a dish out for youss.” I said. I jumped on Andy’s lap. Andy smiled and me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Pete smiled.
“Let’s get started then.”
He pulled out the picture and bat of the girl named Gretchen.
I grimaced. “She doesn’t talk at all, and she’s got a man-woman name.”
Pete snickered. “Yea, she’s quiet, but there’s something about her..”
“Fine, then keep her.” I snapped.
He pulled out the picture and bat of Heather next.
“She’s a lying bitch.”
He was taken back by my answer. “What?”
“When I asked her why she was here, she lied.”
“How do you know that?”
“She looked off at the left! It’s human nature! When we make stuff up we look left!” I said, throwing my arms up.
Pete looked at me sadly. “Really?” He stared at her picture. “That’s really sad, because I liked her.”
“And plus, she has tsunami thighs. Way past thunder thighs. TSUNAMI!” I said, motioning with my hands. Pete chuckled.
“She does have huge thighs.” Joe added in. Pete scowled.
“It’s not all about looks, guys.”
My mouth dropped. “You did not just say that! Peter Wentz! Are you ill?”
“Shut up, Jackey.”
He pulled out a picture of Kate next.
“I think I already know your opinion on her, Jack.”
I smiled. “I love her! I love her! If you don’t want her Pete, I’ll take her. No offense Andy.” I glanced at him. “She’s SMART. She knows who she is. Sure, she’s been through some shit, with that boyfriend, and all, but she got out of it. Plus, she’s GORGEOUS. And her thighs are normal.” I winked. Pete half-smiled.
“I don’t know, a girl with that much baggage…” He trailed off.
“I like her.” Joe said abruptly. Everyone looked at him. He blushed. “I just, I think her intentions are good and stuff.” He explained.
“Yea. I like her too.” said Patrick. “She’s really down to earth, and knows what she wants. She’s really what you need.”
“That-that was deep man.” Pete commented.
Patrick scowled. “Shut up. I’m just trying to help.”
Pete smiled and pulled out the picture of the next girl. Tiffany.
“BITCH BITCH BITCH.” I yelled. I’m sure the whole house could hear me. Pete frowned.
“I don’t think she’s a bitch. I like her.”
“Yea, well. Ya didn’t think Ashlee was a bitch, and here we are.” I muttered. Andy laughed.
“She could just be nervous around you hun,” Andy said. “She could be just as sweet as Kate.”
“I really doubt that.” I said.
Pete next pulled out the picture of Tori.
“Uh. She seems ok…” I started.
“I like her Pete. I think she’s good.” Andy interrupted. I turned around and looked coldly at him. “For Pete, I mean.” He said quickly. I clenched my jaw and looked away. “Aw, come on baby, you know you’re the only one I’ll ever want.” He pulled me closer to him. I shook away from him.
“Next girl please.”
And the list went on and on. Girl after girl, I really only had negative things to say, or nothing at all. They were all so BORING! None of them talk.
“So, have we reached a decision? Which girl is going home tonight?” Pete asked.
I nodded, happy with the decision. Even though I wanted all of them out eventually.
Joe, Andy, and Patrick nodded. So then we all went downstairs.
I stood in front of the fifteen girls still left in front of me. Joe was standing next to me, their bats in his hand.
“Good Evening, Ladies.” I nodded at all of them. “One is leaving tonight, so let’s get started.” I looked down at the bats and nodded. Joe handed me the first one. I sighed, and then smiled.
“Tiffany?” I smiled at her again, and then she ran to me. God damn, she was hot. I looked over at Jackey, and she gagged dramatically. I rolled my eyes and then turned back to Tiffany.
“We’ve grown closer over these past few days, and I really like what I’m seeing. I’d like to keep you around.” Tiffany jumped in excitement as I put her bat around her neck. Then she engulfed me in a kiss, and went back to her spot. I grabbed the next bat in the line, and held it in front of my face for a minute.
“Well, I learned a lot about you today. I’m not going to lie, I was taken back by a lot of your past. But for some reason, I don’t think it matters that much-Kate.” I looked up at the redhead and she smiled and shrugged. She made her way down to me.
“Hey, you asked Pete.” She said. I chuckled.
“I know I did, and I’m glad I did. I feel so much like myself around you Kate, and I think Jackey is in LOVE with you,” I glanced back at Jackey, and Kate did too. Jackey just laughed and shot a gay-ass thumbs up our way. I turned back to Kate and finished. “So because of this Kate, I really just HAVE to keep you around.” I put my clock around her neck, and she returned with a kiss.
I grabbed the next bat from Joe.
She came up, and took my bat from me. She smiled sweetly.
I leaned in and kissed her. “No problem honey.” She went back to her place in the line.
Next I called up, Gretchen, Freda, Mandy, and Geena.
The bleach blonde beauty came up to me next and I handed her a bat.
Then I called Holly, Tammy, Amanda, Rachel, and Raquel.
All that was left was Tori and Heather.
I took a good look at Heather’s thighs.
They weren’t THAT huge.
Well, maybe they were.
“Heather, Tori.” I cleared my throat. “One of you is going to be eliminated tonight.” I turned to Tori.
“Tori, I don’t know anything about you. I was thinking about it earlier, and we are basically complete strangers. That first night when you barely talked, I figured it was nerves. But as these days go by, I thought you would get more comfortable with me. And you haven’t. That bothers me.”
I turned to Heather. “Heather. Why are you here?”
Heather looked at me dumbfounded. “I told you before Pete, I want to find love.” She looked down.
I clenched my jaw. “Right. I don’t believe you. And it’s hard to be with someone you don’t trust, right? How would this even get to a friendship, Heather?”
She looked past me and then looked down.
“So, I’m sorry, this won’t work. Please leave.”
I grabbed Tori’s bat from Joe, and slung it around her neck. Then I turned to Heather, and held my arms out for a hug. She scowled at me.
“What? You think you get a HUG?” She screeched. I put my arms back down by my side.
“Well, now I don’t think I do.”
Heather looked at me, enraged. “Well you know what Peter?”
“Yes?” I said, calmly.
“I wasn’t here for you! I think you’re an old, ugly, pathetic loser, and I just wanted to hook up with Patrick!” She pointed to Pat, standing, behind me. I looked back at him, and then turned back to Heather, who still was ranting on.
“He’s the hot one!” She continued. “He’s the talented one!”
“Whoa now.” Patrick put his hands out in front of him. “I have no idea that this was coming, but I’m really not interested.” He shook his head. Heather stomped her foot.
“Well! I don’t care! This was all a stupid waste of time!” She stomped her way out of the house.
“It doesn’t matter anymore, you have huge thighs anyways, Heather.” I called. Everyone in the room burst out with laughter. After I couldn’t hear her anymore, I turned to the rest of the girls.
“Well, that was, interesting.” I commented. “But now it’s over, and I have fourteen most beautiful girls in front of me now.” I clasped my hands together, and then turned to Jackey.
“Jackey? Can you get me and the girls some Starbucks? I think I need something stronger than alcohol.” Jackey rolled her eyes, and then brought down a tray of Carmel Macchiatos.
We all took one, and then downed the small portion of coffee.
“Have a nice night, and I’ll see you tomorrow. Another challenge is in store for you.”
And with that, I walked upstairs, and went to bed.