He's staying. THAT'S IT.
Chapter Three : Room Rules, Regulations, Randomness and Rampage
Thankfully, even before they were able to get at it, Ichigo and Byakuya were pacified by Rukia’s brilliant idea of playing actress. She faked weak knees and complained that she felt like she was being suffocated by the reiatsu from the two male Shinigami, causing the two to stop. Whether or not Ichigo and Byakuya believed the act Rukia put up, no one was sure. After all, she had been exposed to reiatsu far greater than that but at least it made the two deactivate their Bankai state.
But although the room was not noticeably destroyed, several Hollows came as if being whistled to approach by two juicy reiatsu flowing from two yummy Shinigami! Yes, after all, most Hollows love eating Shinigami but Ichigo nor Byakuya were the type to be laid on a platter with dressing on the side. It was good that Hollows came, though, since it allowed the 6th Squad Captain and the Shinigami Representative to release steam. And after Rukia and Byakuya got in their gigai, the second wooden box was opened.
“What the hell, Byakuya, I didn’t realize you were a girl!” Ichigo spat out and Byakuya sent him a sharp glare.
The box contained clothes – lots of them and more. Shirts, pants, hats, shoes, socks, handkerchiefs, dresses, skirts, stockings, sandals, high heels, books, pens, brushes, inks, paper and other things that Ichigo could no longer identify.
“These are for me and Rukia.” Byakuya gave Ichigo a definite answer somehow. This was good since Rukia would no longer have to steal clothes from his sisters. But there was one problem.
“And where do you plan on putting those?” Ichigo asked.
“Definitely not in your box.” Rukia replied after thanking Byakuya-niisama.
“You mean your room?” Ichigo spat back but was too occupied by how Rukia looked like to even hear what anyone said. She had that female grin on her face and, unlike the ones she sported in the past, Ichigo could tell she was not acting. She was happy. That was certain.
And she was cute.
Wait, what was that last thought?
No, the other one.
Great, the spiked punch still had effects on him. This would wear out in a few minutes, hours, days – whatever. And then Rukia would no longer look cute, uh, happy. Right.
“You have a weird look on your face.” Jinta’s voice shot through Ichigo’s thoughts.
“Who asked you?”
But even before any bickering could happen, there were three knocks on the window. Ichigo veered.
What the freaking hell! Another Shinigami!
“Come in.” Byakuya gestured and the Shinigami obliged.
“You can’t just let random Shinigami in my room without asking me!” Ichigo grunted.
“And that would be why?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this your room?”
Byakuya gave Ichigo an empty stare.
“Kuchiki-taichou, I’ve brought what you’ve asked for.” The Shinigami presented something wrapped in cloth. Wait, are those bentou boxes?
“Arigatou.” Byakuya replied and nodded. The Shinigami bowed and left. At that time, Byakuya nodded at Jinta and Ururu who bowed and left.
“Lunch?” Rukia asked casually. Byakuya nodded, opened it and handed one to Ichigo saying, “Since we’re staying at your place.”
Ichigo looked at the box, at Byakuya and then at Rukia before taking it and said, “Fine, but we’re going to have rules around here. This ismy room. My world.”
And as if on cue, they chorused, “Itadakimasu!”
They were sitting almost ceremoniously as Ichigo paced back and forth as if in contemplation and eyeing them as if they were “class one felons” from lower class families. They were Kuchiki, damn it! And he was eyeing Kuchiki Byakuya, 28th head of the famous and noble Kuchiki clans! Byakuya felt like punching Ichigo for once. Although he was a man who remained to be bound by the rules, being one to follow ones made by someone like Shinigami Representative Kurosaki Ichigo was preposterous.
First off, no one – even Shinigami – can enter my room without asking me.
It was not right. Byakuya had duties somehow and messengers would be sent. And by “messangers” he meant “sometimes hell butterflies but not always”. But Byakuya nodded and said nothing. The kid would not be able to do anything when the Shinigami arrives with an order or something for Byakuya-taichou.
Next, you are not allowed to show yourselves to my family just like that.
“My family has the ability to feel and sometimes see dead people and perhaps Shinigami as well.” Ichigo explained, “We are not taking any chances.”
Stay in my room and only in my room. Do not roam around the house. You are restricted to my room.
“What about the bathroom?”
“Niisama, we ask Ichigo if the coast is clear.”
“And if Ichigo is not here?” Byakuya stopped and shrugged, “Well, if Ichigo is not here then chances are we are not here either.”
Rukia smiled faintly.
“And cleaning?” Byakuya asked again, “The gigai needs to be cleaned after all.”
Clearly, Byakuya did not see the gigai as a body but as an object instead. If he did then either he chose not to show it or he was trying to show it and failed miserably.
“We do that in the evening.” Rukia replied.
“Late in the evening.” Ichigo added, “When no one could see.”
Byakuya showed no trace of expression but was thinking, “Is he trying to get back at me for detaining Rukia before in Sereitei?”
No releasing of Reiatsu unless necessary. I don’t want harm to come to my family.
“Explain to me your reiatsu release a while ago.” That was Byakuya, obviously.
“Well, that was your fault. You provoked me.”
Byakuya did not reply. If he found the reason fair enough, he decided not to share it.
No one will touch my things. No one. I mean no one.
“Including manga and magazines?” Rukia was looking at him with puppy-dog eyes.
“Okay, maybe manga and magazines.”
No Chappy The Bunny anythings.
“How does that affect me?” Byakuya was pointing to himself.
“I’m restating it since Rukia fails to understand.”
And Ichigo went back on how his sisters found the Chappy the Bunny handkerchief in his things, the Chappy pencil topper and Chappy the Bunny toothbrush holder. And most notably, Yuzu accidentally swallowed a soul candy from the Chappy The Bunny dispenser. They had to neutralize Yuzu’s memories after, of course, chasing after the mod soul who ran around town in Yuzu’s body.
And so your dispensers must be kept to yourself and not lie around the house.
Byakuya was giving his sister a weird stare who was acting all innocent as she clutched the Bunny dispenser towards her.
“I didn’t mean that to happen. It was an accident.” Rukia reasoned.
“You weren’t drunk. That’s not an excuse.”
“Remind me to bring gallons of sake then!”
Which now reminds me, no alcoholic drink from whichever realm – especially not spiked punch. And don’t come here after having more than you could handle of that forsaken drink!
“If you hate alcohol so much then why were you drunk when you harassed my gigai?” Rukia asked.
“I didn’t know the punch was spiked.” Ichigo reasoned.
“Not a reason.” Rukia was now pouting.
Ichigo decided to let her stay that way since, aside from he did not want to argue further, he had other rules and regulations to enumerate. And it doesn’t hurt that she looked cute with that pout and he was now contemplating if a Rukia gigai’s lips would be as soft as a gigai with a Rukia soul in it. Perhaps he could kiss something like…
What was that thought?
No. He was past analyzing that.
Right. Okay, time to blame the punch.
If you don’t understand something, don’t take matters into your hands. Ask me or Ishida, Inoue or Chad how to handle things.
“Like the juice box?” Rukia was grinning.
“Yes, like the juice box.” Ichigo nodded and paused, “Oh, and don’t drink coffee with too much sugar.”
“I’m no where close to Renji, kozo.” Byakuya replied.
Ichigo shrugged. It would only be in due time before they discover what it was that will dumbfound Byakuya. It may not be the juice box, coffee or drinks but there must be something.
Don’t buy random things from Urahara Store.
“Except gigai equipment and soul dispensers.” Ichigo cleared out, “But be reminded of the soul dispenser rule.”
Both Kuchikis nodded.
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
“Are we in Vegas?” Rukia blinked, “I thought this was Karakura.”
“Doesn’t that have a sexual meaning?” Byakuya glared, “Like kissing and groping and…”
“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!” Ichigo blasted.
“That’s what the phrase meant.” Byakuya reasoned.
“Then let me rephraseit for you, Kuchiki-sama.”
What happens in Sereitei, stays in Sereitei.
“But we’re not in Sereitei.” Rukia again, raisng her hand.
“I meant what happens between the three of us should not be told to other people.”
“So… What if it’s between the two of you?” Byakuya asked, sending Ichigo a nonchalant glare that Ichigo interpreted as, “You don’t know what I’m thinking, Kurosaki, so answer me the wrong way and I’ll mince your bedroom walls.”
“I just said the three of us.”
“And I’m asking about the two of you.”
“That doesn’t count.”
“Then I refuse to comply to that.” Byakuya crossed his arms and closed his eyes.
What ever happened to ‘the law is a guide post for tomorrow’?
Ichigo wanted to bestow an axe kick upon Byakuya’s head and worry about the after effects later but he let it slide. Kuchiki Byakuya was not a talkative person anyway.
My room. My world. I am emperor. I am president. I am king. Yes, I am captain, too.
Byakuya swore that Ichigo was trying to go power tripping on them.
“Don’t worry, Niisama. That doesn’t always apply and happen.” Rukia whispered and Byakuya, without turning to look at his sister, smiled slightly as if to say, “I figured.”
“I can just kick him in the face.”
“Iheard that, you midget!”
“What did you call me, bastard!” Rukia glared, threatening to hit Ichigo with something.
“Rukia.” Byakuya said, “Stop looking so reckless.”
Rukia gasped a small, “Hai, Niisama” before sending Ichigo a death glare and sitting properly beside her brother. Ichigo grinned in triumph.
Nowthat’s calling it in the middle, Byakuya-taichou!
“I have a question.” Byakuya said. Ichigo wanted to turn down the question for the sake of revenge, shallow as it may be, but then dismissed the thought and nodded.
“What are we allowed to do?”
Rukia seconded with a nod.
“If it helps, you’re allowed to respect me a little more. This is my place, after all.”
“You’re not funny.” Rukia was giving him a stare nearly close to that which Byakuya was giving him.
The door opened with a creak and all eyes turned and lowered, seeing Kon entering while donning a frilly pink dress and clips on his ears. Ichigo frowned as Byakuya’s eyes widened like WTF. Kon was groaning as he entered but blinked and beamed upon seeing Rukia.
You are so not jumping on Rukia…!
“Neesaaaaan!” Kon squealed as he flung his small cottony body towards Rukia. But even before Rukia could counter, Ichigo rushed forward and kicked Kon who was sent bouncing to, on and off the walls until he was caught by the noble head of the Kuchiki family himself.
“Neesan! Neesan!” Kon continued to squeal.
“Shut up!” Ichigo growled and aimed to hit Kon again.
“What is wrong with you! You selfish, selfish Shinigami representative! You want to have Neesan all to yourself!”
“I said shut the hell up!” Ichigo grabbed the doll, “Who wouldn’t hit you for being so perverted!”
“Yuzu!” Ichigo bellowed as he stomped out of his room, his voice trailing out. Yuzu came and was more than glad to take “Bostafu” back into her room. Ichigo waited until they were a few good paces away before going back to his two freeloaders. But instead of seeing them seated, Ichigo’s face met with a pillow. The soft thing fell off his face and his eyes turned to the two other people who were in the room. Rukia was looking at Byakuya who had not budged from his throwing position as he sat.
“What was that for?” Ichigo asked menacingly slow.
“Who wouldn’t hit you for being so perverted?” Byakuya replied coolly before resuming his formal sitting position.
Ichigo counted to ten but then was unable to keep a rein on his patience and lunged at Byakuya who dodged. In no time they were rolling on the floor, Ichigo trying to strangle the life out of Byakuya and Bykauya trying to pry Ichigo’s filthy hands off his noble skin. There was the irregular grunting and groaning and Rukia’s small shrieks in between. And among all the bickering and irregularities, they tried to keep the noise to a minimal.
And the code word there is “tried” because Isshin and his daughters, bothered by the banging from Ichigo’s room began to rush towards the eldest’s room and found it locked. Isshin, being the “concerned” father that he is, placed his ear flat on the door.
“What are they doing in there?” Karin asked. Her father did not answer, she and her sister decided to follow suit.
“Ichigo!” Rukia was stifling a shriek, “Don’t do that! Ah! No!”
“Is that a woman in there with Ichinii?” Karin gasped.
“I… will... not… hold back… anymore!” Ichigo was huffing as if doing something very tiring.
“No! Don’t tug like that! ICHIGO!” Rukia again.
“What is oniichan doing? Shouldn’t we check what he’s doing in there?” Yuzu was worried now.
There were sounds of grunting, groaning, pushing, pulling, rolling and banging.
“Ah, no, Rukia, don’t get into that position! You’re going to…!”
“I told you to stop already before you…!”
There was a loud thud.
“Ichi… Ichigo! ICHIGO!”
Isshin was grinning and Karin pulled her head off the door. Yuzu, not being able to contain the mental images that were seeping into her head forcefully, fell unconscious on the floor while clutching a seemingly crying Bostafu.
- End of Chapter 3 -
Author: Long name for a chapter! I enjoyed writing the last part! Thanks for reading! Here's me hoping for a review! Ban-KAI! Please review... Rhaine.