“Please don’t tell Brendon.” Julia nodded. “I wouldn’t think of breaking his heart like that. I’ll leave that up to you.”
“What was that Danielle?”
“I don’t know,” I said beginning to cry, “I promise, I didn’t mean for anything to start. I promise. When he told me it wasn’t his, I rolled my eyes. When he called me a whore, that sparked something, but what did it was when he said I had slept with Brendon. I’m so so sorry, Julia. That wasn’t how anything was supposed to go. I just wanted to show him that I‘m better off without him, maybe make him jealous. I don‘t know. I wanted …”
“I honestly don’t know what I want. I really don’t. I don’t even know if I want Fender.”
Julia stomped on the brakes and stared at me.
“What?! No. Abortion is wrong.”
My eyes widened in horror, “No. That is so inhumane. I would never put a baby though that. I was thinking adoption.”
“Why would you want to put the baby up for adoption? You have a bunch of people who are willing to help you take care of the baby. There’s your mom and Richard obviously. Ryan, me, Brendon. Oh honey, think of Brendon. Think of how it would crush him if you put Fender up for adoption.”
I wiped away several tears that were pooling around my eyes.
“I know but I personally don’t think I can take care of my baby the way he should be cared for. I‘ve been thinking about it. Julia, I‘m nineteen years old. I‘m irresponsible; I had sex with a guy I wasn’t engaged or married to. I have no job. I don’t have my own place to live. I’m practically living off of you, my mom, and Brendon. How can I take care of a baby when I can barely take care of myself? ”
Julia pulled over to the side of the road. Turning in her seat, she grasped by hand.
“Sweetie you’ll be a great mother. If your upset over the way you acted back at McDonald’s, don’t. You have had a rough time. Your dad throwing you out of the house and later being admitted into a hospice. Your mom away in Reno for the conference. Richard being in the courtroom all of the time. Brent. You’ve had a rough pregnancy.
Don’t feel bad for not living on your own. Don’t feel bad about having us help you. We want to help you. We want to.”
I looked down at Julia’s hand and squeezed it.
“Thank you, but I still think it would be better to put him up for adoption. So if you could drop me off at my mom’s so I can talk to her about it, that would be great.”
Julia nodded and put the car in drive.
Fifteen minutes later Julia pulled in the driveway of my mom’s gray two story house. As I got out of the car I gave Julia a pleading look.
“Please don’t tell Brendon.”
“I wouldn’t think of breaking his heart like that. I’ll leave that up to you.”