The various scenes and lyrics parodied here belong to their original owner. Which isn't me.
1) Extra Cheers At The Match
"His ass is really nice and taut"
"She's a fan of Michael Berk's"
"He is quite handsome, he has no wart"
"She'd fight an army of invading Turks"
"He makes a very mean Raspberry Torte!"
"She's sometimes strange, she has her quirks"
2) No, Harry. I AM YOUR...
"THERE IS NO ESCAPE!" The entire stadium fell silent as Harry ran on to the pitch. A moment later he was followed by Voldemort, brandishing his wand "Don't make me destroy you, Harry. You do not yet realise your importance! You have only just begun to discover your power! Joine me, and I will complete you training. Dumbledore has forseen this, and he knows that, together we can overthrow him. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive war and bring about peace in our time"
"I WILL NEVER JOIN YOU!" Harry yelled. He cast a spell, but it went wide.
"If you only knew the true POWER of the dark" Voldemort smiled at him "Dumbledore never told you what happened to your father"
"He told me enough!" Harry replied "He told me you killed him!!"
"Oh" Voldemort stopped, then shrugged "Well - yeah. I did. Sorry about that"
"No, no, no" Harry shook his head "That's not how it goes" He pulled out a manuscript from his robes, and tossed it over to the dark lord "Lets try it again, shall we?"
3) More Songs To Sing
My dearest, darlingest Susan and Sirius
My dear... Death Eaters.
(the music starts)
There's been some confusion today at dear Hogwarts
But of course I will explain it
And of course I'll rise above it
Because I know that's how you'd want me to go on.
Yes, there's been some confusion, because it seems my song mate is...
The most annoyingly chipper, boy-scout like brat in the entire world...