Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > We're Too Young, I Hate To Love You

I'm a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart

by kristinluvspete 3 Reviews

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Angst,Romance - Characters:  - Published: 2008/08/07 - Updated: 2008/08/08 - 1572 words

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I seriously don't know why I bothered to put on any makeup at all. I mean, here I am dressed in an all black dress next to Pete's casket crying. Patrick and Gabe have helped me with everything these past few days, and Joe and Andy are making sure that Hemingway and Pete's business is being handled. If I didn't have these guys around I'd be seriously fucked. Pete's family is absolutely devastated, just like I am. They couldn't stand to be up here next to him, which I can understand. This is the last time I will see his beautiful face in person again.

Panic at the Disco walked up to the casket and they all looked like they had been crying. They might not have made it at all if it weren't for Pete's faith in them.

"God Janelle, we're so sorry," Brendon said as he hugged me.

"Thanks Bren," I said and sighed deeply. Not one hug that I have recieved these past three days has comforted me at all. None of those hugs are from Pete.

"Janelle if you and the baby need anything ever, just call us. We'll take care of anything you need at all. I don't care if it's just someone to talk to or to bitch at for being pregnant." Those words came from Ryan Ross. I knew that he meant every word of it because that's the kind of person Ryan was. Completely there for anyone he cares about and won't say things just to be nice. He would fly from Las Vegas to buy me ice cream if I asked, just you watch. I'll test it out.

"Thanks Ryan," I hugged him tightly, my baby belly getting slightly in the way. I've gotten to the stage in my baby bump where it is noticeable that I am pregnant. You can't mistake it and hugging is starting to get harder too.

"What are you, five or six months now?" Ryan asked as he rubbed his hand over my belly gently.

"Just over five." I said with a small smile. This baby is all I have left of my Peter.

"When do you find out what you're having?" Jon asked as he hugged me.

"I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, I find out then. Pete didn't want to know, but I did, so that's why I don't know yet." I feel weird talking about Pete, as if he were just here with us. I mean, he was, just not in the way my tone sounds.

Spencer hugged me and PATD made their way to sit down. More and more people that Pete knew through his career arrived and gave me their best and promises of help. I wished that their caring made me feel better. One person's presence really surprised me. I glanced up and Ashlee Simpson was walking down towards the Pete and I. I don't know why I didn't expect her to be here, I mean, they dated for a long time.

"I know we never officially met, but I'm Ashlee," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Janelle," I said, unsure of why she cared to talk to me.

"I couldn't believe it when I heard it. I'm so sorry." She hugged me gently. "If you or the baby need anything, just call me." She handed me a card and walked off. That was weird. Pete's ex-fiancee wants to help me in my time of need. Well, now I see why Pete actually dated her. She was pretty sweet and nice.

There ceremony was beautiful and a ton of people got up to speak about Pete. I cried the entire time with Gabe holding me. Patrick broke down while he was speaking about Pete and couldn't even finish what he had to say. I couldn't go up there and speak, it was too painful. That and my doctor told me not to stress myself too much so that I don't harm the baby or myself.

This was probably the biggest funeral I'd ever seen in my short life. Pete truly was loved by everyone. Fans were outside mourning as well and wishing me the best, which somehow comforted me.

I stayed in the cemetary and stared at Pete's casket that lay in the ground, not yet covered by the soil nearby. Everyone had dispersed and made their ways home by this time. The ceremony had ended nearly an hour ago. We were all supposed to head back to my house for the wake, but I couldn't bare to leave Pete.

"Janelle, we need to get going," Gabe said as he knelt down in front of my chair.

"I know, I just feel like it's the last moments that I will have with him." I said and tears fell down my cheeks. Gabe brushed them away with his thumbs and kissed my forehead before pulling me into a hug.

"I feel the same way, so I completely understand. Just remember that you have a piece of Pete inside you right now, so he'll always be with you." I nodded into the hug. "Now we need to get going because Patrick is running the show all by himself." I nodded again and let Gabe lead the way. I looked back over my shoulder as we walked. Goodbye Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, god I'm going to miss you.


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After three months I had decided to move out of the house Pete and I once shared. Everything here reminded me of him and I was miserable constantly. I felt as though I would never be able to move on. Patrick and Ryan agreed that it would probably be best that I sell the place and move. I didn't know where to go. I moved to LA to be with Pete back then, so I didn't really have a place I needed to be. Pete asked me to quit my job and do freelance work once I became pregnant so I could tend to the baby and travel with him if needed. He wanted me to be there at all times possible.

Oh, so here's a fun tidbit. While Pete was in the hospital, he had his lawyer come over and he signed everything that was his to me. Everything, the label, clothing label, his share of Fall Out Boy, cars, home, dog, the bar, everything. I had no idea what I was doing with any of it, so Patrick took care of a lot of things with me to make sure I didn't fuck shit up. Those were my words, not his.

PATD, FOB and Gabe were at my place helping me pack up. The house had been sold, but I still hadn't found a place. With all that I inherited from Pete, I had nothing to worry about ever again. The baby would be here in about a month and a half, so I needed to get settled somewhere.

"Have you even found a place to live yet?" Andy asked as he packed my dishes with me in the kitchen.

"Nope, I was thinking that I'd probably stay in LA for now and wait to make a huge move after Peter is born." He nodded in agreement. Oh, I'm having a boy by the way and I decided to name it after Pete if you didn't catch that.

"That's probably the best idea. That way we can all be here to take care you guys if you need anything at all."

"I am so scared about doing this alone Andy."

"You're not doing it alone Janelle, we're here." He said and I hugged him around my giant belly.

"I swear this kid is gonna weigh ten pounds when he comes out. I'm so big," I laughed and turned back to the boxes and taped them. "I think I'm going to get some fresh air." I said and Andy nodded. I walked outside and sat down by th edge of the pool, hanging my legs inside the cool water. Gabe joined me a minute later.

"You okay?" He asked and rubbed my back softly.

"I'm just scare Gabe. I am about to have this baby and raise it alone."

"Come on Janelle, you know we are all here for you."

"You all will eventually go on tour. I don't know about Joe, Patrick and Andy going as Fall Out Boy, but you will be gone definitely."

"You know I am here for you no matter what right? Day, night, when I'm three thousand miles away in New York, I'm here for you. I will fly here at any day, any time to be here. Remember that Janelle." Gabe hugged me. I melted into his hug and breathed him in. Something about him makes me feel almost complete again.

"You're the best Gabe." I said and looked up at him.

"I try," he smirked. "So don't you have a doctor's appointment soon?"

"Oh shit, what time is it?" I grabbed his wrist and looked at his watch. "Fuck, I'm going to be late." Gabe helped me up.

"Here, let me take you."

"Sure," I smiled at him and we went inside. Patrick said he'd hold down the fort while we were gone. I don't know why, but I feel like there is an underlying reason for Gabe spending so much time with me. Not really sure what it is, but it definitely has me thinking.
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