Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Starting over, but is it really on my own?p

Chapter 4

by Mrs_Stump221 2 Reviews

So sad, is Ryan seirous about it or is he just upset about Geo's death?

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Characters:  - Published: 2008/08/27 - Updated: 2008/08/27 - 1510 words

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Chapter 4:

Rachel POV

“Today we are gathered here to let God our Lord receive a young soul, George Ryan Ross The 4th. May he rest in peace.” The preist said making a cross with his hands. I close my eyes and looked at they buried my first son, who ever did this was going to pay.

“Mommy, why are they burrying Geo! Mommy he has to get out he has school tomorrow!” Emily yelled and I held back my tears picking her up.

“Geo is gone honey, he isnt coming back.”I whispered to her and she began crying and I looked to Ryan, he looked like a trian wreck. “Its okay honey.” I said to her letting my tears fall freely as they finished the ceremony. Micheal held my hand knowing I was in pain, especially in my heart, I squeezed his hand and Ryan took Emily and gave her to Brendon.

“Micheal go with Brendon, kay?” I said to him and he nodded.

“Ryan.” I said to him and he took my hand in his.

“We'll find out who killed him, I promise.”He said to me, I nodded and kissed his lips softly. We stood there for an hour and Ryan fell to his knees crying and knelt next to him holding his head to my chest, he had yet to break down before now. “Oh babe, im so sorry.” I said kissing his head and wiping his eyes.

“He is happy now, he isnt suffering.” I said to him and he nodded still crying.

“He was my son, he was only fucking 5!”He yelled angrily.

“Baby its gods-”

“If there was a god he wouldn't have taken him from me.”Ryan said and I looked down and he wrapped his arms around me as I stood. I hugged him back and a couple walked over to us with some white rosed.

“Our daughter went to school with Geo, she wanted us to give these to you.” The mother said sadly and I thanked her.

“Tell her she is welcome over anytime to play with Emmy.” I said to her smiling weakly.

“We are terribly sorry about this, when Rosie told us about it we didn't believe it at first, but then we saw it on the news.”She said shaking her head. “If you ever need anything let us know.” Her husband said.

“My name is Susan.”She said offering her hand.

“Hon we hug around here.” I said laughing a bit then hugging her.
“Well, the memorial service is tonight so bring Rosie by if you would like.” I said to them and they nodded. “It was nice meeting you.” I said and me and Ryan walked to our car, I sat in the seat looking to the sky.

“Do you think he knows I love him?” I asked Ryan and he looked at me.

“How could he not.”He said to her putting his hand on my knee rubbing it slightly.



1 year later

“Happy birthday to you!” We sang to Emmy and she giggled she was turning 5 years old, she looked around and smiled widely I hadnt seen her smile like that in ages. “GEO!”She said and I looked around wondering what she was talking about.

“Baby...” I said and Ryan nodded no saying let it be and I nodded okay.

“Can We have cake now?”She asked still smiling.

“Sure honey.” Ryan said smiling and kissing her cheek, todays date was september 25. He had been gone from our lives for a year but he would always remain in our hearts. It may sound like something you have heard before because it probly is but its more true than most think.

“Corner piece?” Brendon asked since he was serving.

“Yes please.”She said to him smiling and he got her ice cream, he looked at me and I smiled weakly. “Everyone else get your own.”Brendon said taking my hand and leading me to the next room.

“Do you think she saw him?” Brendon asked and I shrugged.

“I have no clue but it clearly made her happy, as long as it makes her happy I don't care. She took it worse than any of us I think.” I said to him looking down a bit.

“It kinda startled me.”Brendon said to me and I nodded. Ryan walked in and nodded to me.

“Whats up?” I asked him.

“Did you give her this?”He asked.

“give her what?” I asked.

“This picture of Geo.”He said to me and I looked at it and smiled, Geo was hugging Emily they were at the park.

“No, I had that put away.” I said to him shaking my head,

“Well she had it in her room.”He said to me and I furrowed my brow.

“Well, copy it and let her have a copy, I want that to stay in good condition.” I said to him and he nodded and I went to kiss him but he walked off and sighed a bit. We hadnt made love to eachother in more than a year, it made me wonder if he loved me any more.

“You alright?”Brendon asked touching my shoulder.

“I don't know.” I mummered.

I walked in to the computer room where Ryan was then sat in the chair watching him and he looked at me.

“What?”He asked.

“I love you.” I said to him.

“I know.”Was all he said and my heart broke into a million pieces and I walked out of the room quickly and I heard him sigh as tears flwoed down my face. I ran smack into Brendon and he held on to my shoulders.

“Whoa, whats wrong?”He asked me pulling me into a hug.

“He doesnt love me anymore...Bren, he wont say it he doesnt love me.” I whispered softly to him and he held me closer to him than he ever had before so that every curve of our body fit together. “Bren....” I said to him softly.

“Rachel, can we talk?”Ryan said to me and I pulled away from Brendon feeling a shock that made my heart skip a beat when Brendon touched my arm and I walked in the computer room with Ryan nervously.

“I think we should get a divorce.”He said to me and I looked down knowing it was going to come sooner or later. I looked him in the eyes and he watched me.

“Okay.” I said knowing I wasnt okay with it at all but if it made him happy then I was all for it.

“Im sorry.”He said to me.

“You know, I thought I was done looking Ryan, I thought you were the one for me.” I whipered. “We had it all so perfect.”I mummered and he touched my cheek and moved away walking out of the house need to get some fresh air. I heard someone walking behind me and I looked behind me seeing Brendon with a concerned looked on his face. “You alright?”He asked.

“Not really, can I die?” I asked him softly and he laughed weakly.

“No, cause then I-”He started then shut his mouth.

“Then you what?” I asked him.

“Would miss you.”He said to me putting his arm around my shoulder and I leaned into him sighing a bit. “At least someone would.”I said softly.

“Emmy would so would the guys Ryan really would.”Brendon said to me and I laughed , If I had known he was this sweet I would have given him the time of day that night.

“We're getting a divorce.” I said to him softly and he looked at me.

“why.”He asked and I shook my head.

“He isnt happy.” I said sniffling.

“He needs someone better than, someone who can make him happy.” I said to him as I looked at the sidewalk.

“You did make him happy.” Brendon said to me and I shrugged.

“I guess, but if I truly made him happy wouldnt he still want me?” I asked him.

“I want you.”He said and I turned to him and he looked down.

“I shouldnt have said that.” He said to me going to turn around but I grabbed his arm.

“Please don't leave me...” I whispered and he stopped looking over his shoulder.

“Im not.”He said to me turning around and pulling me close to him. “Im right here.”He said and we heard a cough.

“Hey man, presents.”Jon said to us and I nodded. We walked inside and watched Emmy open them and she grinned when she saw she got money in on of the cards, the one from Bredon since he had no clue what to get her.

“Thank you uncle Brenny!”She said smiling and I laughed, how weird would it be if me and Brendon ended up getting together but, he doesnt want me that way does he? He did say I want you, but did he mean it that way?

Only he knows.
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