Categories > TV > House > I, Who Have Nothing0 Reviews
House is barganing.
“Cuddy, I need a favor,” House proclaimed, bursting into her office.
“Whoa. Wait. You’re asking me for a favor, rather than telling me what you want? What happened to the ‘It’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission theory? Is something wrong?” Cuddy answered, intrigued that House came into her office, asking for anything.
House looked down at his hands on his cane, and raised his head slowly, showing a full-fledged grin.
“My god. You are sick. Are- are you in love?” she asked in disbelief.
House watched her smugly, enjoying watching her try to make sense of the situation.
“I haven’t seen you this happy since-”
She stopped herself short before she would say something that she’d regret. Stacy immediately came to mind, but she wouldn’t dare bring that up. Especially with the eerie grin on House’s face.
“…since you bought your I pod,” she finished lamely.
“Wilson and I need two weeks off.”
“No way,” she replied automatically, organizing the paperwork on her desk. Stopping abruptly, she tilted her head to process the information that House just gave her.
‘Now, why would House need time off with Wilson, if he’s in love with someone…?’
When she finally realizing what House was implementing, it hit her like a ton of bricks. The expression on her face was priceless.
“I-you… Wilson?” she stuttered stupidly.
“You’re so eloquent when you’re flustered. Two weeks,” he demanded.
“Nuh-,” she said, mouth and brain uncooperative. She tried again. “How long?”
“Little over six months. After about eight years of foreplay. Come on, Cuddy. He never takes time off, and you’re always looking for ways to get rid of me. Everybody wins.”
“He has patients.”
“If they’re dying when he diagnosed them, they’ll still be dying, or dead by the time we get back.”
“House!” she exclaimed, looking indignant.
“I owe him,” House muttered.
“The three months of sex I deprived him of.”
“That really isn’t any of my-”
“Listen. I… I want to make this…”
Cuddy watched as House struggled with the right words, not wanting to sound overly emotional.
As soon as he said it, he made a face, disappointed at his lack of word choice.
“You love him, don’t you?” she asked knowingly.
“He’s done everything I’ve asked him to,” he said, pacing her office now, face etched with thought. He looked up sharply at Cuddy with a scowl. “I’ll work his clinic hours for the time he’s gone.”
“Bargaining, now,” she replied with a grin. “Wow, House. You’ve got it bad,” she chuckled.
“Yes, yes. Bask in my moment of weakness. Would it help if I said… No. Even I can’t do that. My pride, to strong,” he replied dramatically.
“Say ‘please’ House, and I’ll give it to you.”
House made a face again. But he straightened his sports coat, cracked his neck and asked in his booming baritone, “Doctor Cuddy, can Wilson and I please have two blessed weeks off from this sterile paradise?”
She watched him with a cheeky smile, and shook her head.
“Granted, House. But don’t-”
“I might be calling you to be a witness sometime during our break.”
“Witness?” she asked, puzzled. “Witness… You’re not going to-”
“Don’t worry. I won’t be the fourth Mrs. Wilson. He’ll be the first Mrs. House.”
“You’d better know what you’re doing,” she cautioned.
“I always know what I’m doing. I’ll call you Friday night, with ticket information. We’re going to Hawaii.”
“Hawaii, how romantic,” Cuddy grinned.
“I know it’s disgustingly cliché, but it’s one state that will issue wedding certificates to ‘our kind.’ And, Wilson could use some sun,” he replied, his expression softening.
Cuddy’s expression matched House’s as she listened him continue.
“Although I’m not the perfect model of discretion, for Wilson’s sake. If you could keep this-”
“Say no more. It’s done.”
He grinned brightly as he turned to leave.
“Your hard ass routine is fading, House. You’ll soon be domesticated, with a kid and a puppy before you know it. You’re willing to become a softie?”
“You’ve obviously never have had sex with Wilson before. He’s pretty convincing.”