Gerard is haunted by the same dream. Nightmare really. He can't seem to rid it from his mind or daily thoughts. Not wanting to trouble anyone, he keeps it to himself. But slowly it begins to affect...
The air was chilly as Frank made sure the final preparations were set for his journey. He wasn't taking much; he didn't need much. He took no more than a bag with a single change of clothes, he was used to wearing the same thing multiple times, a phone, and some money. He had no idea where he was going or how long he would be gone, he just knew he had to do it. Gerard was his best friend, he had to be found. Everyone was worried about him. Of course everyone in My Chemical Romance was worried, especially his brother Mikey, but Frank missed Gerard most of all. No one knew he did but Frank knew that no matter what anyone said, his heart ached for Gerard the most.
It was barely sunrise when Frank got out of bed and kissed Jamia on the forehead as she laid in peaceful slumber on the bed still. She knew of his journey and even though she didn't want him to leave her, she understood. He let everyone close to him know that he was going to find Gerard. That's exactly how he said it too. There was no 'try' because he was determined to find him. Frank had no intention of giving up until the eldest Way was with him, warm and full of as much life as he was at their performances.
Mikey wanted to go with Frank but he wouldn't let him go. Not because he didn't want Mikey to find his brother but because Frank wanted to be alone. It was the only way he would be able to sort out his thoughts, feelings, and life. Leathermouth wasn't real happy with him for suddenly leaving but they didn't object much. They knew that Frank was with MCR for years and how important each member was in his life. He also let everyone know that while he had his phone with him, it was only for emergencies or updates. He didn't want anyone to bother him unless they found out something that he couldn't from lack of technology. Granted he would have a car with him for as long as he could but when he ran out of money for gas then the car would have to go. Frank knew the journey probably wouldn't be easy, but it had to be done. It had to be done before anything happened.
The sun peeked over the horizon as Frank walked through his house and out the door to his car. He wouldn't say good bye because he wouldn't be gone lone. He couldn't. He was confident that he would find Gerard in a matter of days and return him to everyone. Above all, he would talk to Gerard. He would tell Gerard what he had wanted to tell him for years, but first, he would find out what was bothering Gerard. Gerard had been down a dangerous road twice before and he had to make sure that Gerard wouldn't reach the end of that road. That's why it was important he was found.
Barely awake, Frank got in the car and commanded it to life by starting the ignition and causing the engine to roar with life. He threw the bag on the passenger's seat then shifted the car into gear and pulled out of his driveway, away from his life, and headed for the sun as he began his quest. Once he was on the road and going a steady pace, Frank decided to turn on the radio to keep his mind on something positive. He knew it was safe because MCR hadn't been 'popular' in quite some time so the radio stations wouldn't be playing their songs. He didn't want to hear them at the moment anyway. He didn't want to hear Gerard's voice until Gerard was standing face to face in front of him.
The first thing that came out of the radio was I lost a friend from the song "How to Save a Life" by the Fray. Frustrated, Frank quickly changed the station. Even if I say it will be alright, still I hear you say you want to end your life. With a heavy sigh Frank changed the station again. He decided to put it on a station that played older music because it had stuff from when he was young often playing. last thing I see? You are never coming home, never coming- "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Frank yelled at the radio and turned it off.
Frank had no idea where he was going to start. Gerard could be anywhere. He was more than likely somewhere where he knew people wouldn't think to look, so Frank had to think to look in those places. The only problem was, Frank didn't know where those places where. With one hand on the steering wheel, he used his other hand to rub the traces of sleep from his eyes. Because he didn't know where he was going, Frank had to do as much searching each day as he possibly could, thus, he wouldn't get much sleep. The only lead Frank had was Gerard probably wasn't in Jersey. That would be too obvious. It probably wasn't somewhere where he would be easily recognized either. "That leaves third world countries..." Frank mumbled to himself as he drove.
The last time Gerard had been seen was about a week ago. He was with Mikey, only Mikey said it wasn't really Gerard because Gerard seemed so distant. Everyone else noticed his strange behavior too. Usually Gerard was hyper and loud, but lately he seemed quiet and to himself. Frank noticed these increased actions each time he saw Gerard. He wanted to say something to Gerard but he didn't think it would matter since he had tried before and Gerard didn't want to listen. Frank hoped that it wasn't due to drugs or alcohol because Gerard did such an amazing job of cleaning up his life that it would be horrible if he succumbed to such behavior again.
Now the sun rested above the ground as the streets began to bustle with life. Frank kept the hood of his sweater over his head in case someone could see him in his car in hopes that he wouldn't be too recognizable. Ever since word of Gerard's disappearance got out, the fans have been bombarding Frank and everyone else associated with Gerard about his whereabouts and any information they may have about the situation. None of them knew more than the fans did but none of the fans would accept that so everyone had to be extra careful about being in public. None of the band members nor any of their family could go out in public without getting asked some question about Gerard by at least one person.
He's alive. He's probably just somewhere quiet, thinking to himself. Something is bothering him. He didn't want to share it with anyone. That's all. He's ok. Frank continued to tell himself repeatedly. Traffic started to get heavy so Frank decided to drive the back roads before he lost it on some innocent person because the slightest push would set him off at the moment. As Frank drove down a deserted road, he saw what he believed was blood stains all over the sidewalk. Normally this would be nothing unusual to him, but because he was dealing with someone with a suicidal history, Frank's heart started beating faster and he felt sick. He's alive. He's ok. All he needed was some time to himself. You're going to find him, and everything will be alright. Frank told himself and began to speed up until he was on a different road.
Images of when Gerard would be completely wasted and stumbling everywhere flooded Frank's mind. For a very brief moment Frank shut his eyes to try to drain the images from his thoughts. Gerard is responsible. He knows he's not supposed to be having any alcohol and he knows what he gets like with drugs. You're over working yourself. he told himself with a deep sigh. The images however wouldn't leave his mind. More and more began to accumulate. Every time Gerard was wasted flashed through Frank's mind until he couldn't think, couldn't see anything else. Frank pulled his car over and slammed his head on the steering wheel. He was on a completely empty road so he got out of his car and walked through a large field.
A slight breeze brushed him occasionally and caused the tall grass to dance as Frank pressed on through the field. When he reached the middle he turned and faced the road where his car sat, patiently awaiting his return. "When I find you, I'm going to kick your fucking ass!" Frank yelled into the wind. He put his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths in. "I'm going to kick your ass for making us all worry so much about you and causing everyone pain for not letting us try to help." he yelled, not quite as loud as before. He fell to his knees and the thin blades of grass danced beside him, occasionally grazing him. "For causing me pain." He said as he looked into the blue sky. The sun was fairly high now, signaling to Frank that the day was quickly slipping away. He pulled himself off the ground and went back to the car. When he began to drive off to find Gerard, it was no longer because he was only worried about him. Now he was pissed. He was pissed at Gerard for not letting anyone know something was bothering him and pissed that Gerard just up and disappeared, without leaving any trace of where he was going.
Frank had every intention of kicking Gerard's ass when he found him too. Once Frank knew Gerard was safe and ok, he was going to go off on him. Frank's phone began to ring and he fumbled through his bag until he found it. 'Jamia' was written across the screen and he sent the call to voice mail without answering to see what she wanted. Frank chucked his phone into the back. If it was something important she would leave a message. If it was about Gerard, Mikey would be the one calling. Nothing and no one else mattered at the moment. Only Gerard. Only finding him. Only making sure he was alive, that he was safe. Because when I find him, I'm going to kill him myself. Frank thought as he pulled back onto main roads and headed for the first exit to lead him out of Jersey. He was speeding but he didn't care. He wasn't going too much over the limit and the cops never seemed to do much anyway. Plus, he always had his fame to get him out of anything.