FicWad

A/N: Yay! The second All-American Rejects song in the collection! Yes, I realize the popular theory about this song is that it's about sex, but I really didn't feel like writing a sex scene, thanks.

Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "Dance Inside".

Song Used: The All-American Rejects' "Dance Inside".


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Eight: Dance Inside
Puppet: Cormac O'Kane


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You don't have to move,
You don't have to speak,
Lips for biting,
You're staring me down,
A glance makes me weak,
Eyes for striking...

I don't know why I went to a dance by myself, but I did.

I don't know why I chose to subject myself to seeing her so happy with him, but I did.

I don't know why I was considering the idea of asking her to dance when I knew it would be painfully awkward, but I was.

I don't know why my insides seemed to freeze up when her eyes strayed and found mine, but they did.

She smiled once she recognized me in the sea of people, and she hurriedly lifted one hand in an enthusiastic wave. That unfortunately brought the attention of her partner around to me as well, and his expression wasn't even close to being welcoming.

Anxiously I bit the inside of my cheek and waved back, not sure what else I could do without making that glare of Nick's any more burning than it already was. I couldn't come over there, could I? I wasn't sure if I could muster the courage to approach the perfect couple, much less request a dance with the prettier of the two.

But somehow, my feet started to move toward the pair without me actually telling them to.

I wished I could pull off the formal look just as easily as Nick could. The other boy was clad in a black tuxedo (complete with a silly-looking bow tie that Paige probably thought was adorable), a silken royal blue undershirt, ebony trousers and same-colored dance shoes that, guessing by the way they gleamed, were brand new. His curly hair, identical to my own had it not been several shades darker and a few inches shorter, had been neatly combed and slicked back a bit.

He smiled politely at me as I approached, making me all the more self conscious of my own appearance. If he was wearing the model of formal clothing, I was wearing the bare minimum with a plaid blue dress shirt that screamed country boy, a pair of trousers similar to his had it not been for the fact that mine were dusty after taking a spill on my bike on the way here, and old dress shoes that hardly even fit anymore.

And if that wasn't enough, his face was so perfect...how could mine, battered and ruined, compete?

But she...she was beautiful, and she wasn't even trying. She didn't even have any makeup on, as far as I could tell. A golden ribbon held her wild, smoky hair up in a side swept ponytail and she wore a snug though modestly cut dress that matched Nick's undershirt in color. On her feet she wore a pair of low heels and I, unable to stop myself from looking at the glitter of flashing lights on metal, caught myself gaping at the charm, shaped like a quarter note, dangling from around her neck.

Now I'm twisted up when I'm twisted with you,
Brush so lightly,
And time trickles down and I'm breathing for two,
Squeeze so tightly...

“Hey, Mac!” She chirped cheerfully, drawing my attention away from the small, gleaming piece of silver and up to her face, glad to see that she didn't seem to notice me staring.

“Didn't expect to see you here.” Nick commented absently, that fake smile never seeming to slip.

“It was kinda a last second decision...” I trailed off, uncertainty cutting off any more words I might've wanted to say. It was true: it had been a last second decision. Normally, I hated parties. I don't know why I came. Maybe I had just wanted to see her.

“Will you, er...can I have the next dance?” I asked Paige, fumbling helplessly for words. Damn, I hated the way her eyes put my confidence on ice.

Nick cleared his throat. I blinked sheepishly at him. “Um...I mean...if that's okay with you.”

Paige giggled, amused by something I didn't think was funny at all. “Aw, he can manage own his own for a little while,” she answered for Nick, “c'mon, sounds like they're about to start a new song.”

In a daze I allowed myself to be led into the heart of the crowd, amazed that it had been that easy. Seconds ticked by agonizingly slow until she finally paused and turned to face me, smiling at me as if I'd just told her a hilarious joke.

Then, all at once her skin was brushing against mine and my breath caught in my throat. It may have been wrong, but suddenly all I wanted to do was hold on and never let go.

I'll be fine, you'll be fine,
This moment seems so long,
Don't waste now, precious time,
We'll dance inside the song...

But I couldn't. She belonged to someone else.

Heartbreaking as it was for me that I wasn't that someone, it was okay. It had been okay since the moment she'd introduced me to the one who held her heart. It had been okay since the second I realized that he was the one who could make her happier than I ever could.

I was okay. It hurt when I thought about how she loved him more than me, but I could manage knowing that I was her trusted friend.

She was okay. She was happy with Nick.

Everything was going to be fine, but for now, I was going to enjoy this moment to the fullest. The closeness of her warm body, the glitter in her keen indigo eyes, the softness of her hand in mine...I would forever remember all of it. Our first dance...

What makes the one to shake you down?
Each touch belongs to each new sound,
Say now you want to shake me too,
Move down to me, slip into you...

She was just tall enough that her head fit perfectly under my chin, I realized. Her hand was just big enough to make it so I didn't have to worry about crushing it with my own large hand, as I did with more delicate girls, I noticed.

It was almost as if we were literally made for one another.

No. No, no, no, no, no...I couldn't think like that. I didn't want to tempt myself.

But honestly...what was it about Nick that made him so special? What did he have that I didn't? Why did she love him so deeply that she couldn't see that he wasn't the only one who thought of her before he fell asleep?

So focused, so engrossed in the warm tingles in my hand and shoulder, where her hands were, that I didn't even know what song we were dancing to. All I could tell was that the tempo was even and slow, and that some unknown force was guiding my feet and hips to match the movements of her own with unnerving accuracy. Was I leading, or was she? How long had we been swaying like this?

I could only wish that she was enjoying this as much as I was, because I knew deep in my soul that she wasn't. She wasn't hoping that time would freeze and leave the two of us dancing forever the way I was. She was just humoring a lovesick boy.

A lovesick boy who would give his life to know that she felt so strongly for him.

She sinks in my mind as she sheds through her skin,
Touch, sight, taste like fire,
Hands do now,
What eyes no longer defend,
Hands to fuel desire...

A sigh, and suddenly her head was rested just above my pounding heart, her wiry frame relaxing some and relying minutely on the support of my own. A twinge that I knew I shouldn't be feeling caused me to flinch at first, then with guilty pleasure I accepted it. She trusted me. She may not have loved me the way I wanted her to, but she loved me, right?

“You're scared,” she observed, speaking for the first time since she'd led me out to dance with her, “don't worry. I kinda am, too.”

I blinked. Scared? Yeah, I was. I was all too aware of the jealous pair of eyes watching me from behind. I knew all too well that Nick was watching every move I made.

But that was just me, wasn't it? He wasn't really watching her, was he? “Why?” I asked.

“I dunno, actually,” she replied with a shrug, “I think I just like this more than I thought.”

I'll be fine, you'll be fine,
This moment seems so long,
Don't waste now, precious time,
We'll dance inside the song...

I smiled to myself in satisfaction at the confession, but instantly felt guilty for it. My smile faded away the way I suddenly wished I could, feeling very much like a dog after offering a 'treasure' up to its owner (whom I could somehow also emphasize with) only for them to be disgusted and toss it aside.

I shrugged. “You'll have more fun once this is over,” I promised, half hoping that it wasn't true, “chances are that Nick's gonna be real eager to sweep you off your feet after this.”

She laughed and straightened up a bit, no longer leaning against me. “Probably.”

There was a long pause before she built upon that. “He's watching us.”

Us. It sounded so good to hear her use that word while referring to herself and I, regardless of what the context was.

Somehow my mind managed to take control over my heart. I chided myself for thinking that way, reminding myself that I was all right with just being her friend. Beggars couldn't be choosers, anyhow. She was the one person I felt perfectly comfortable confiding in, and if I lost that because I had allowed my emotions to run away with me...

I nodded solemnly, not bothering to point out that I had known he was watching before she had probably even thought of saying anything. “I figured,” I replied, already missing the feel of her head resting against my chest, “but that's all right.”

What makes the one to shake you down?
Each touch belongs to each new sound,
Say now you want to shake me too,
Move down to me, slip into you...

The song ended, and just as soon as her hands had come to a pleasant rest on my shoulder and in one of my own they were gone. The warmth of her body departed slowly as she drew back and another smile, this one somehow different than the one before, spread across her pretty face. Her eyes began to glitter anew, though this time I was fairly certain that it was not with laughter.

“Thanks for the dance, Mac,” she said rather simply, “I should probably go now. Nick's probably getting impatient.”

I nodded for what seemed to be the thousandth time. “Y-you too. I hope you two have fun.”

At first, she didn't move, and I felt the almost overpowering urge to lean in and kiss her before I lost my chance. Without my mind's consent my heart told my body to inch forward, a battle raging furiously behind my eyes. My lips hovered just above hers. Do you want this as much as I do?

It was now or never.

And I'll be fine, you'll be fine,
Is this fine?
I'm not fine,
Give me pieces, give me things to stay awake...

I chose never.

I drew away, smiling nervously in hopes of somehow undoing what I hadn't even done. “Go,” I murmured, standing up straight and putting my hands into my pockets, making it far less tempting to touch her, “Nick's waiting.”

Paige stared up at me with wide, surprised eyes, her mouth half open and fingers trembling at her sides, heedless of the small strand of hair that had managed to fall in front of her left eye. After what seemed like an eternity she regained her bearings and recaptured her thoughts, closing her mouth only to open it again so she could speak.

“Yeah,” she muttered, “yeah, he is. Bye, Mac.”

And then she was gone.

Away the beauty fled from the beast and into her prince's arms she stumbled, confused and anxious because of what had transpired only moments before. I, the ogre who had just had his prize ripped away, watched as the brave knight in shining armor shot a glare my direction while trying to soothe his flustered damsel in distress. No doubt he was telling her that it hadn't been her fault and that I was the sole target for the blame. He held her and kissed her the way I wished I could and...

That's when I realized I wasn't okay.

She wasn't okay.

There was too much tension, too much familiarity, too much confusion for either of us to be comfortable. All I was doing was hurting myself and her.

All I wanted was to love her and be loved. All she wanted was to be my friend. She wasn't willing to let me have my greatest desire because it interfered with her own. I thought I could handle it, but I was obviously incapable of controlling myself.

What have I done?

What makes the one to shake you down?
Each touch belongs to each new sound,
Say now you want to shake me too,
Move down to me, slip into you,
What makes the one to shake you down?
Each touch belongs to each new sound,
Say now you want to shake me too,
Move down to me, slip into you,
Move down to me, slip into you.


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A/N: Okay, so I know that some of the lyrics don't really fit. But remember that I wanted to keep this tasteful for as long as I could, so it was kinda important that I tried to put an innocent spin to the actual meaning of the song. Or whatever.