"There's a fucking surprise!"A loud voice woke up Frank. He lifted his head to realize he was on top of Gerard. It was the second night they slept together. Frank then looked to see where the voice had come from. His eyes rested on Mikey standing in the doorway with Ray and Bob behind him. Mikey looked annoyed, Ray was laughing, and Bob looked bored.
"Hey guys."Frank said sleepily as he uncovered them both and climbed off Gerard who was still asleep. "What are you doing here?" he asked, stumbling a bit when he was off the bed.
"I was tired of fucking be hung up on so I tracked you down."Mikey said still annoyed.
"Apparently we came at a bad time."Ray said still laughing."I see now why Gerard would be really tired." Ray was having a grand time. Bob just rolled his eyes. Frank, still not fully awake, turned to Gerard and shook him until he too had to blink traces of sleep away.
"Hey, you have visitors."Frank said through a yawn and decided to go back to sleep so he climbed over Gerard and laid down. Gerard, realizing what was going on, pushed Frank off the bed and sat up. Frank moaned on the floor as the others came further into the room. Bob kicked Frank and Frank moaned some more.
Everyone hugged Gerard and Mikey lectured him for a few minutes about him running away. Frank got off the floor and sat in a chair in the corner, shutting his eyes again. Gerard chucked a pillow at Frank to keep him awake. Frank just put the pillow under his head and closed his eyes again. He had already had his talk with Gerard so he wanted to get some sleep. Bob walked over to Frank and began smacking him."Ow! Bob, ow! Bob! Stop it!"Frank told him. "Stay awake then!"Bob yelled at him. Not wanting to continue getting smacked, Frank sat up in the chair and stared at the bed that Gerard was in, wishing he was in it instead.
"I'm really sorry I ran away everyone. It was a stupid last minute decision due to an unsettling dream."Gerard said staring at his hands instead of at the people gathered around him.
"What kind of dream?"Ray asked him after.
"It was more of a nightmare."He said to Ray."But that doesn't matter. It was nothing."
"Why didn't you say anything to any of us?"Mikey asked frustrated.
"You wouldn't understand."Gerard told him."Plus, I didn't want to bother any of you with my problems."
"Bullshit."Ray said with disbelief."We tried that before and oh! Look what happened! You almost died."He was blunt but true. Frank could tell that Gerard was uncomfortable with the situation and Frank wanted to intervene but he knew that Gerard would have to handle himself.
"Its all I would dream about."Gerard started nervously."No matter what I did, I couldn't get that nightmare to go away. It began to control me until I got so obsessed with it, that I ran away, hoping that it would stay behind."A few tears ran down Gerard's face as though he was reliving the horrible dream right at that very moment and Frank wanted to run to him and calm him down but stayed still."It didn't."
Mikey suddenly smacked Gerard."A fucking dream?!"He yelled. That was the last straw. Frank jumped up and wrapped his arms around Mikey, pulling him away from Gerard before Mikey attacked him again."Mikey!" Frank yelled at him as he pulled him back.
"What happened in your nightmare?"Bob suddenly chimed in. Frank forgot Bob was even there because after he stopped hitting Frank, Bob was so quiet that he blended into the background.
"It, um,"Gerard said, wiping away the tears and looking at his hands where his fingers were interlocked with each other,"It was, um,"He took a deep breath in,"Frankie's funeral."Gerard choked out at last. Frank let go of Mikey and stared at Gerard. He didn't know what to say. He had caused Gerard to runaway, even if he technically had nothing to do with it. Frank's stomach turned as he just stared off into space."The worst part,"Gerard started again, still looking at his hands,"was that I caused it."Those words hit Frank sharply like knives. He was speechless, almost unable to breathe. Frank stood, staring out the window, motionless and almost lifeless.
He stood like that for about five minutes, everyone around him just as quiet, until he finally snapped back to reality. Frank walked to Gerard and put his hand on Gerard's shoulder."Hey, it was just a dream."He told Gerard calmly. Frank turned Gerard's toward him so that they were staring, eye to eye, and smiled."It was just a dream."He reassured him and wiped away his tears, even though Frank felt nauseous and wanted to hide to be alone with his thoughts. He knew though that that didn't go over well when Gerard tried to run."I'm not going anywhere."He whispered to him.
"Who wants coffee?"Ray said trying to change the subject.
"Coffee sounds good."Mikey said, frustration filling his voice again."I'm going to find the cafeteria."he said heading for the door.
"I'm coming too."Ray said following Mikey."Come on Bob."
"But I don't want anyth-"Bob said when Ray grabbed a hold of him and pulled him out the door. Alone at last, Frank climbed back onto the bed with Gerard and continued to wipe away the few tears that escaped his beautiful eyes.
"Stop crying baby."Frank said softly to Gerard."I'm not going anywhere."
"What if I do something? Something bad that does-"Gerard said starting to cry again.
"How do you know that?"Gerard said frustrated.
"Because I do. Now please calm down before you make yourself throw up. You really don't need to lose anything else, especially not more weight."Frank said with a sigh looking at Gerard's thin pale body. He climbed on top of Gerard and got his face so close to Gerard that he felt his breath bounce off Gerard's face and back to his. Frank put his hand on Gerard's face and stared into his eyes."Trust me, ok?"He said then wrapped his arms around Gerard's neck then began to make out with him.
"I, um, "Frank heard Ray's voice,"We'll come back later."The door clicked shut but neither Frank nor Gerard pulled their lips apart. Frank wanted nothing more than to have the man he loved in a lip lock with him. Nothing compared. Gerard put his arms around Frank, pulling the two even closer together.
"When I die, I want it to be in your arms."Frank told Gerard laying his head on Gerard's chest. Gerard's grip tightened around Frank, almost suffocating him, and he just rested his chin on Frank's head. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard's torso and the two laid like that until the room was too dark to make anything out. Neither said a word but both knew what the other was thinking. Nothing would ever be better than lying in each others arms.
Gerard passed out before Frank did so Frank just stared at the blackness listening to Gerard's heart beat and the gentle rhythm of his breathing. Frank thought about Jamia and how he missed her even though his heart belonged to the body he was on top of. He tightened his grip around Gerard. Nothing would make Frank lose Gerard again. Frank pulled the blanket over the two to make sure Gerard wouldn't get too chilled since his immune system was vitally weak. The littlest of things could make him severely ill and that was the last thing anyone wanted.
The heart monitor Gerard was connected too would occasionally beep whenever Gerard's heart rate changed. For the most part it stayed around the same area. The doctor said that it wasn't as high as a number they wanted but it was still good. They expected it to be somewhat low since he was so weak but every beep made Frank nervous and afraid of what might happen if it dropped too low. Trying not to think of that, Frank shut his eyes and buried his head into Gerard's chest, wishing him good dreams and hoping he wouldn't ever be plagued of the nightmare again.