Can't Have You
I seen Joe nod over at the whole rest of the people on stage. I looked at him in confusion. I heard the familiar sound of the song ‘Can’t Have You’ my lips pulled into a smile. Everyone in the audience screamed. Joe smiled at me and then put his mouth up to the mic. “Tonight this song is for a very special girl.” he grinned.
“You warned me that you were gonna leave, but I never thought you would really go.” Joe began singing, “I was blind but baby now I see. I broke your heart and now I know…that I was being such a fool and I didn’t deserve you.” his eyes locked on mine. The chorus began, “Don’t want to fall asleep, ‘cause I don’t know if I’ll get up.” I noticed the desperate look in Joe’s eyes. It was something I had never seen in him. “Don’t want to cause a scene, but I’m dying without your love. Begging to hear your voice tell me you love me too, ‘cause I’d rather just be alone if I know that I can’t have you.” this song was one of my favorites, but I hadn’t quite realized the truest, purest meaning of the song until now.
I got closer to Joe and sang the next verse with him. “Looking at the letter that you left. Wondering if I’ll ever get you back.” our voices harmonized. Someone working backstage sneaked out and handed me a mic. Joe still held my wrist. I didn’t sing with the chorus, instead I just looked in Joe’s beautiful eyes. Nick got up from the drums and walked down the stairs on the stage. Kevin, Nick, Joe, and I met in the center stage. I sang out with Nick, but my eyes were glued to Joe, as were his to me. Joe was always into singing to the crowd, but this time he didn’t.
The song ended and Joe wrapped me up into his arms. His lips touched mine and I didn’t reject. I put my hands to his face, letting my mic drop. The crowd screamed louder, half of the screams in anger and the other half in excitement. It didn’t matter though, to me the only people in this world at the moment was Joe and I. I hadn’t realized how much I had wanted to kiss him. Soon after I realized that I also realized that we were on stage at a concert…kissing. I pulled away and my face flushed red.
“Aubrey would you please be with me again?” he asked. I couldn’t answer because I didn’t have any breath. “I think that she needs some help answering. Everybody do you think you could help her?” he turned to the audience. Some yelled “Say no!” and I just laughed. “SAY YES!” the began to chant. It was so strange. I knew that if I was one of them and there was some girl up here he wanted to date I would’ve shouted “Say no!” but that was just me. “Would you just say yes already?” Kevin laughed. “Yes.” I smiled and bit my lip. “Finally.” Nick muttered.
I smiled at Joe and then left the stage. “I didn’t even know you were broken up.” Mallory pouted, “If I had known that I would’ve tried to put the moves on him.” I glared at her. “Well I’m sure that, that will be all over the news tomorrow.” Brooke patted my back. “Ya no doubt about that.” I nodded. Mom smiled at me. There was just something in her eyes that told me she approved.
We all stood at the edge of the stage and watched. It just never got old. They played the same songs and did some of the same moves but it just never got old. I swear they could’ve sang the last song and then started back again with the first and nobody would leave!
They all came offstage. Joe simply wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips on mine. Everyone started coughing. He pulled away from me. I blushed since I had know clue that was what he was planning on doing when he came offstage. “I say we go get waffles!” Mallory announced. We all looked at her and then nodded our heads in agreement.
“How do you guys do this?” Mallory shouted when we stepped outside. Apparently when the concerts ended the fans didn’t go home. “You just get used to it!” Nick explained. I held Joe’s hand as we went through the crowd. There were so many people telling me how lucky I was, I just laughed and nodded. I loved the fact that no matter what the boys had to do they always made time for the fans. Mallory made the rock symbol with her hands as we got in the bus, she always had to add something a little crazy.
The bus pulled into the local Waffle House. I was happy that this time all the fans weren’t already here. We would at least get thirty minutes without people screaming. I was about to let go of Joe’s hand but he wouldn’t let me. I smiled at him. I knew I had broken up with him, but I just assumed that it didn’t bother him too bad.
We all sat in booths near each other. Everyone got waffles, of course. “So I guess this means that you guys are rock stars.” Mallory said. “Huh?” we all looked at her. “In the Camp Rock bonus features Joe said one of the things that made a rock star was going out and eating at Waffle House after a show.” she explained her thinking. “You’re right Mals. I remember watching that.” I spoke. “I forgot about that. I’m glad we’re rock stars.” he laughed.
It was so wonderful, all of us sitting around and talking. Everyone was telling stories and even Mallory told some school stories about me. Joe had his arm around me and that pleased me to no end. I looked around the room, we were the only ones in here. I noticed that every face was smiling. It was just one of those perfect moments.
Sadly, the moment came to an end. We all went out to the busses and my mom’s car. I was sad that I wouldn’t get to see Mom or Mallory for awhile. I hugged my mom. “I’m so proud of you.” she whispered in my ear. I hugged her tighter. I looked over at Mallory, who was saying goodbye to the boys, “Are you going to say goodbye to me or what?” I put my hands on my hips. “Why would I want to say bye to you?” she mimicked my action. We both laughed and she hugged me. “Can I have your number before you leave this time?” she asked. “Ya.” I nodded and put my number in her phone. She said goodbye to Brooke and Chelcie too. I noticed that they both took her number.
Everyone but my mom and Mallory got on one of the tour busses. I waved to both of them as we drove off. I was such a baby about leaving. I hated leaving and having to say goodbyes. It was like no matter how good or touching your goodbye was it still left you feeling just a little guilty.
Nick and Chelcie had already went to their bunks to sleep. I heard Brooke yawn. “I’m going to sleep.” she kissed Kevin’s cheek and then walked away. I looked at Kevin’s face. He just smiled as Brooke walked away. They were so perfect together. As I watched him something came to mind, they really hadn’t had any problems. It wasn’t that it was a bad thing, infact it was a good thing, but every couple had problems. Now that mine and Joe’s drama was over for now, I couldn’t help but think about what dramatic thing would happen next.
Kevin sat and talked with us for awhile and then went to bed. I looked over at Joe. “You do realize that every time I get mad at you, you can’t just sing a song to me and everything be good right?” I asked him. “Darn…” he smirked. I made a serious face at him. “I know, I know!” he patted my hand. “Good.” I nodded. “So how many times do you think I could pull it off?” he asked. “Joseph!” I whined. “I’m just kidding. This was the last time I’m going to do that when you get mad at me.” he said. “But I don’t plan on you getting mad at me again.” he smiled and kissed me.
“You know what Joe?” I asked. “What?” he replied. “I’ve really missed this.” I said. “Missed what?” he sounded confused. “Snuggling with you.” I smiled. “Me too.” he wrapped his arms around me.
Joe and I just sat there and talked. There was so much that I had missed about him. Like the way he smirked when he said something funny or the way when I was talking he would reach and touch my hair or my face. It was all just the little things that I had missed, but oh God, how I’d missed them!
It was getting really late or early I should say. It was one in the morning. “Joe we have to get up in a couple hours.” I said. “We’re already up.” he joked. “I know that! But if we’re going to get ANY sleep then we better sleep now.” I stood up from the couch. He pulled me back down, “Eh who needs sleep?” he kissed me. I was about to argue, but its hard to argue with Joe Jonas’ lips on yours.
I completely forgot about sleep until about ten minutes of kissing. I pulled away, “Joe I really need some sleep.” I said again. “Lets sleep here.” he smiled. “On this little couch booth thing?” I raised one eyebrow. “Ya on this little couch booth thing.” he patted the leather seat. I sighed and then gave in. I laid down beside him. “I think I’m going to fall off.” I muttered. “Get closer then.” he rolled onto his side and then held me closer. I draped my arms around him. I wanted to just get up and go to my bunk but he was holding me pretty close…ok and it wasn’t exactly like I wanted to get away from him either…
Soon I heard his light snores. My head was on his chest and I heard the soft pounding of his heart. I wanted to sleep, but I was just to happy to sleep. I was right where I wanted to be. I snuggled into his chest, he smelled pretty nice. I was surprised Joe could sleep like this. He was always the one that had to be completely comfortable or there was no hope of sleep.
I laid like that for what seemed like a long time. I was never going to get any sleep like this. I managed to wriggle my way out of his arms, almost falling onto the floor. I stood there and looked at his face for a moment, a smile formed on my face. I finally snapped out of my gaze. I changed into pajamas and went into my bunk. I knew that the next morning her would complain to me about not laying beside him the whole night, but I was to tired.
I snuggled under the covers and looked at all the things that I had hung in my bunk. There were lots of things. My eyes drooped. Sleep was so close now. I let out a long sigh, letting the whole day sink in and all the bad things go out. I closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep.
My dreams were nice and mostly consisted of Joe, but I was ok with that. I hadn’t slept soundly since Joe and I were together and now it was just too easy.