Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > The Secrets We Keep...

Chapter 12

by flawedrainbow 2 reviews

-Holly- R&R!

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Published: 2008-10-28 - Updated: 2008-10-28 - 2967 words

-Holly’s P. O. V.-

I woke up Monday morning, feeling better than I ever had. I rolled over and bumped into something, and pulled the covers down to see Bill’s sleeping face. I smiled and snuggled into him as his arms wrapped around me. I kissed his nose and he sighed.

“What are you doing?” He asked sleepily, hugging me tighter.

“I’m waking you up. You have to get to work.” I told him. He shook his head.

“Nah. I’ve got Evie covering today.” He said. “I think I deserve a Monday off.” He kissed me and sighed contentedly.

“Well, you do, but you’re going to have to let me go. I have school.” I mumbled. “My last week. At least I can wear what I want.” Bill reluctantly let go of me and I got up and stretched and went to go take a shower. I passed by Pete on my way, who was rubbing a towel over his wet hair.

“Hey Hollz.” He smiled.

“You’re smiling.” I said. “Date went well?”

“For the most part, yes.” He said. “The end wasn’t how I would’ve liked it to be.” I chuckled.

“Well at least one girl in Illinois can sleep peacefully knowing she hasn’t slept with you.” A smirk came across Pete’s face.

“That doesn’t leave out you.” He said. I gagged.

“Oh god Pete!” I said. “I never slept with you either! We only made out to piss of Patrick. You know William was my first.”

“Yeah. Well, I’m off to go eat your food.” He laughed. He tossed me his dirty towel, which I wound up and snapped him with before he could get too far, and ran into the bathroom, locking myself in. I laughed as he yelped and complained to Patrick, who just laughed.

I took my shower and dried off quickly, and grabbed my towel, wrapping it around me tightly, incase Pete was lurking outside to get me back. I ran to my room and shut the door and locked it.

“What’s wrong?” Bill asked, flipping through the TV channels. I laughed a bit.

“Pete might be a bit on the vengeful side today.” Bills tilted his head curiously. “He tossed me his towel earlier and I snapped him with it.” I said innocently. Bill laughed and shook his head. I went to my closet and stepped into it, closing the doors behind me. Oh, I love my walk in closet! Evie’s guitar was in the corner and I frowned at it. Maybe she should take it with her, now that she’s living with Ryan. Bitterness was now my mood. Why would she live with him when she’s never even spent the night here? It hurt too much to think that maybe she trusted him more than me. I shook my head and focused on what I could wear today. On the last week of school, we could wear whatever we wanted, so I had to pick something good. I pulled on my undergarments and discarded my towel on the floor. I choose my tight dark wash jeans, which Bill had got me. They were tighter than usual, but I knew why, so I just ignored it. I pulled on a t-shirt that was a bit baggy. It was Bill’s though. A blue v-neck t-shirt and the necklace he got me for our three year anniversary. I picked up my towel and walked out of my closet to see Bill watching cartoons. I cleared my throat and he looked over and smiled.

“Do I look alright?” I turned around in a circle and posed.

“You look amazing. You always do.” He said. I walked over to him and bent down to kiss him. I heard a knock on the door downstairs and heard Evie’s voice.

“Okay, I have to go. Are you going to stay here all day?” I asked.

“Probably. I haven’t hung out with Patrick in a while. I kinda miss that little dude.” He smiled. “But first, I’m finishing my cartoon!” We laughed and I kissed him again, this time longer.

“Bye babe.” I called to him as I shut my bedroom door behind me. I went downstairs to see Evie hanging up a cell phone. Oh great! Ryan got her a cell phone. Maybe next he’ll buy her a freaking car and she can forget about me completely! I shook my head again and snuck up behind her, hugging her tight.

“Good Morning!” I said cheerfully.

“Hey!” She turned around and completed the hug.

“So….I heard you were living with Ryan.” I said, getting down to business. I wanted answers.

“Oh? Uhh yeah, I am.” She stammered.

“Why can you live with him but never, not once, have you stayed over at my place? And I’m your best friend!” I asked. I felt so betrayed by this. Why couldn’t she see that this hurt me? For years we’d been friends, but never once, had she spent the night. She pretty much always left before my parents came home. I really didn’t have other friends. Well, that’s a lie. I did, but none of them I really hung out with like her.

“It’s-It’s complicated.” She said, tearing up a bit.

“Why, though?” I asked softly. How could this be so freaking complicated?! I’ve known her for years, he hasn’t, case closed! I continued to stare her down with soft eyes. She sighed shakily.

“C-can I tell you at a later time? I-I can’t right now.” She told me, refusing to look at me. It was rare Evie refused eye contact.

“Are you ok? Is someone hurting you?” I asked worriedly. If anyone was hurting her, I’d…I’d have Bill beat them up. I really can’t do much in my current condition.

“No, no, no. It’s just... I’ll tell you another time ok?” She smiled a bit, and I smiled too.

“Promise?” I asked, holding out my pinkie. She smiled and wrapped hers around mine.


“Now let’s get going I can’t be late.” We left the house after I hugged Patrick goodbye and started towards my school. We walked in silence for a bit, I was mulling over everything that just happened. The silence was becoming awkward, and I thought up a topic to talk about.

“So, Pete went on a date Saturday night.” I said. Evie snapped out of her thoughts, and at first looked worried, but then her face went blank.

“Really?” She asked.

“Yeah. He totally got burned. Apparently she didn’t sleep with him afterwards. Crushed his ego. I have a feeling she won’t be going out with him again.” I laughed, and Evie did too, although hers sounded a bit forced. “So you wanna hang out after I get back from school?”

“Well, you get out of class at three, and I have to go to Ryan’s practice at four.” I nodded sadly. “You could come along.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I need to stay as far away from Jon as possible.” I reminded her.

“But maybe if you bring Bill and Patrick, he can’t do anything.” I thought on it. I would really like to hear them play.

“I’ll ask Bill, but I’m not making any promises.” I said. “Bill and I feel the same about Jon.”

“I understand.” She said. “Sooo, have you and Bill thought of any names for the baby?”

“Not yet.” I answered. “Maybe when we find out the sex we might. I’ve always kinda liked Liam, for a boy. But I think Makayla would be a good name for a girl.” I smiled at the name from my dream. “I think it’ll be a girl.”

“Because of your dream?”

“Yeah.” I smiled. We got to my school and I hugged Evie, and she continued on to the music store. I went up the steps.

“Hey Holly!” I turned and Spencer and Ryan were jogging up the steps to me. Jon was nowhere in sight, so I didn’t fake my smile. Much.

“Hey.” I waved back. “How are you guys?” I asked once they caught up to me.

“Good.” They said in unison. “So are you coming to see the band practice tonight?”

“I don’t know Ryan.” I said. “Would it be alright if I brought Bill and my brother Patrick?”

“Oh yea! Sure! That’d be awesome.” Spencer said. I smiled at him. He was really sweet.

“Okay, well, I’ll see what my plans are, and then maybe I’ll be there.” I reassured them and we parted ways so I could go to my locker. Once I was there, I hurried to put my things away and shut my door. I turned and bumped into someone. “Oh I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” It was Jon. I rolled my eyes and went to pass him but he pulled me backwards. I pulled my arm away from him.

“Don’t you fucking touch me.” I said through gritted teeth. “Leave me alone, I want nothing to do with you.”

“Listen, I wanted to apologize.” He said. “I’ve been a royal jerk to you. I’m sorry.” He wasn’t making eye contact. If he was truthfully sorry he’d be making eye contact.

“There’s no apology for rape.” I hissed. “Now get lost.” I pushed past him and went to my first hour, taking my seat and glaring at my desk. I can’t stand Jon! Why does he have to make everything difficult? I spent the entire day in a pissed off mood, aching to get home and have Bill hug me tight. The bell rang and I rushed to my locker putting all my books in my bag and running outside, down the steps, and onto the sidewalk. I was glad the walk from school wasn’t all that long. I got to my house and opened the door. Patrick and Bill were sitting on the couch, playing Xbox and laughing.

“You guys didn’t get dressed all day?” I asked, setting my bag on the floor by the door and walking over to join them on the couch. Bill paused the game and put his arm around me and kissed me.

“Nope.” He answered after parting from the kiss. “Why did we need to? We weren’t going anywhere today.” He smiled and I instantly felt better.

“Uhm, Evie wanted me to ask you guys if you wanted to go see Brendon and his band practice.” I told them. Bill’s smile slipped a bit.

“Isn’t Jon in that band?” He asked. I nodded.

“I told her that I didn’t want to, but she thinks that if you and Patrick came too, he’d leave me alone.”

“We can try.” Bill said. “But if he steps out of line, I’m not going to hold back.”

“I won’t let you hold back.” I told him, kissing him lightly. “Where’s Pete?”

“Uhm, he’s in the study still, I think.” Patrick said. “I’ll go see if he wants to go.” Patrick went to the study door and knocked, exchanged a few words with Pete, and came back.

“Yeah, he’s going. Turns out he wants to sign the band!” I forced a smile, as did Bill. Bill had been working so hard, for so many years, and still hasn’t been signed, no matter how many shows they’ve played. He tries to tell me he doesn’t mind, but I can tell that he’d love it. I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and he smiled at me.

“Well, I should go get dressed.” Bill stood up and stretched, pulling me up to my room with him. Once inside, he pushed me against the closed door and kissed me sweetly. “I missed you all damn day.”

“I missed you too, but get dressed.” I whispered, kissing him gently, and pushing him back. He went into my closet and came back minutes later fully dressed, finger combing his hair. He smiled at me and I swooned. You’d think after three or four years of dating, I’d be over swooning, but no. He continues to make me weak in the knees.

“Let’s go downstairs and wait.” He took my hand and we went downstairs to wait, but luckily, we didn’t have to wait at all. Patrick and Pete went in one car, and Bill and I took his. We got to the address, and knocked. Spencer answered the door with a smile.

“Come on in you guys!” He said, ushering us in. I grabbed Bill’s hand, who held it tightly in return. We sat on the couch by Evie, as she looked up from her conversation with Brendon. She was smiling and blushing a bit, and it reminded me of when Bill and I first started dating. It must’ve reminded him too, because he smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek. Pete and Patrick came in moments later. After a small round of introductions, they began playing. The were really good. No wonder Evie liked Brendon! His voice was to die for! Well after Bill’s of course! After they stopped playing, we clapped.

“You guys are really good!” Patrick said. He nudged Pete, who kept a poker face.

“Yeah, you guys were alright.” He smirked. “How’d you like to be on my label?”

“We’d love it!” They all started cheering. I smiled up at Bill, who leaned over and kissed my nose. I giggled and we heard a slight cough and noticed Jon glaring at us.

“Well we should all thank Evie!” Pete cut into everybody’s celebrations. Everyone turned and looked curiously at him. “If it wasn’t for her persuasive skills on our date last night, I wouldn’t have even bothered coming!” My head was sent spinning. First she lives with Ryan, and now she goes out with Pete? What the hell was happening?!

“What the fuck?!” I jumped up letting go of Bill’s hand and turning at her and glaring. “What else are you keeping from me?! That-that Bill’s secretly cheating on me with you?!” I didn’t care if I was causing a scene. I was sick of the lying and the secrets.

“Holly, it’s not like that.” Evie tried to explain. “I went out with Pete to get him to come see the band. It wasn’t anything.”

“Like hell!” I shouted. “I know Pete. More than you do. He only does things for others when he gets laid!” Right after I said it, it hit me. “No!” I stormed over to Pete and pushed him. “You fucking took advantage of her?! How could you?!” I asked with a shove for each question. I pulled my fist back and punched him in the face, not being able to stand it anymore, I had to hit something, and it’s about time Pete got put in his place. I felt arms encircle around me and pull me back, and Bill’s voice trying to calm me down. I pulled away from him angrily and ran out of the house, tripping over the welcome mat, and tumbling down the steps. I hit my head pretty hard, and the only thing I could think of was the baby before I blacked out.


I woke up, not knowing where I was. I tried to sit up, but someone gently pushed me back down.

“Bill?” I asked as my eyes focused “Bill, where are we?”

“The hospital.” He whispered softly. “Sweetie, you fell down a flight of stairs.” My hand went to my stomach and I gasped.

“What about the baby?” I asked. He put his head down, and kissed my hand gently.

“We don’t know yet.” He told me. “They took x-rays about an hour ago, but haven’t gotten back to us.”

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“About what?” He asked, holding my one hand in both of his.

“I lost my temper. If the baby got hurt, or worse,” I shuddered at the thought of losing this baby. “It’s all my fault.” I started to tear up.

“Sweetheart, no.” He pulled his chair up towards my head and sat down again. “You were overwhelmed. Things started adding up, and you just got a bit stressed. And I can’t say Pete didn’t deserve that punch.” He chuckled and smoothed my hair back from my face after wiping away a few tears.

“Does Evie hate me?” I asked in a small voice. He smiled at me a bit.

“I don’t think so. I think she’s more worried you hate her.” I shook my head slowly.

“I can’t hate her. I’m just trying to figure out why she’d keep all these things from me. Or why she'd sleep with Pete over someone else's record deal.” I said. “It’s just-I’m her best friend, I’m like her sister, for so long. I’ve never kept a secret from her. How could she do this to me?” Bill shook his head.

“I don’t know. All this is news to me too.”

“Excuse me, Ms. Stumph?” We looked up to see Dr. Perry. “I have the results of your x-rays.”

“What are they?” I asked gripping William’s hand tighter with mine.

“I’m sorry, but your baby didn’t make it.” And the world went black again.
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