Susan goes with Harry and Professor Dumbledore to #12. Lord Voldemort recalls past adventures while he tends his wounds.
(#) The_Resident 2006-04-28 03:39:39 PMCaught an error in the last chapter, but I can't remember what it was right now. I did catch this one in this chapter: 'eight in wide' should be 'eight in. wide' to indicate the abbreviation as without the period, it can be confused for the word 'in'. As for the rest of the story, I like the back story of Moldy Shorts rise. Also liked the start of the HP/susan relationship. I especially like that you are taking your time making that relationship develop. Most authors don't take any real development time for the relationships in their stories. Keep up the good work.
- Ok what is going on with Frank and Alice Longbottom. I thought they had gone insine?? I can't wait to find out what all that was about
Author's responseWell that was a flashback scene to one of the times Frank and Alice defied Voldy. James and Lily weren't the only ones to get into the action.~Jim
(#) afdd 2006-12-15 08:48:32 PMI don't understand why Susan would deserve to see Harry's memories. Nor do I understand why she would be fighting Voldemort. I doubt he would come for her personally again, and she certainly hasn't earned a level of trust that would give her the right to ask Harry to see his memories. I thought you said things would be moving slowly between them. The entire situation is quite unrealistic. Other than that, the story seems decent so far. Well, mostly. Harry's "ability" to make a wandless portkey because he's so familiar with the magic seems ludicrous, but I have a feeling that the majority of your story is based around his penchant for that, so whatever. I suppose realism is relative.
(#) GryffindorDragon 2007-10-05 11:25:15 AMThat was quite good at 12 Grimmoldy place. Every witch's fantasy indeed. Reality just doesn't quite live up to expectations. I suppose it would be a bit unrealistic for Susan to climb into bed with Harry to comfort him. But having her wake him up to talk about it (maybe with some tea or chocolate) might have set the scene better for her request to see Harry's memories. Her attempt to help him deal with her nightmares would've earned the trust afdd claims is missing.