some letters ...
Lately, there have been a couple things that really pissed me off. I mean, just because I'm 'famous' and in the public eye people think they really know me, but they don't. It takes a while to push me to the edge, because I'm generally an easy going guy and not prone to physical violence ... my violence is my art and my writing, but that's besides the point. I'm half Italian, and half Scottish ... I've got violence in my blood and a wicked ass temper if I let it go. But if there's anything I've learned in all the years I've been alive, it's that getting red-hot pissed about something never makes you feel that good in the end, but also, holding it all inside of you is almost as bad as letting it out full force.
I've thrown my fucking fist through a wall before ... that was my solution instead of harming someone else. It worked. It was like all the anger was channeled through my fist and exploded into the drywall. No harm, no foul ... and just a little bit of spackle and paint and no one was the wiser. But there isn't always a nice wall handy, like now ... so I'm writing instead.
The first on the list of, "what really pissed Gerard off this week" goes out to some my adoring fans ...
Dear Some Adoring Fans -
I know what it's like to be sixteen years old. Believe it or not, I was sixteen years old before and I was a fat nerd that no one paid attention to. I listened to music my parents didn't like, I wore black a lot, and I didn't have very many friends. I felt alone and unloved a lot of the time. I thought I'd never amount to anything and really lacked confidence in myself. I didn't even think I had any talents a lot of the time. I was depressed. (Oh and by the way, it DOES get better - trust me, hang in there.) I've fucking been there - I get it - I know where you're coming from, but, and this is a big but - I seemed to have a better command of rational thought than some of you. I had a infatuation with Christina Ricci when I was a teenager. I even rode my bike all the way over to her neighborhood in hopes of just catching a glimpse of her. So yeah, I can overlook a lot of things you guys do - because like I said, I've been there. But you know what I never would have fucking done in a million years? Cornered her in a crowd and copped a feel! It's just - wrong. I don't understand the thought process that goes into something like that? How you thought that was an okay thing to do? Didn't your parents teach you anything about manners? How do you think that makes me feel? I think I have a damn good idea what women who get unwillingly groped feel like now that's for sure. It's a total invasion of privacy and a total violation. It's both physical and mental abuse. You wanna hug me? Fine! You wanna shake my hand? Fine! Hell, I've even let people kiss me on the cheek. It's really sweet that some of you feel that just touching me is such a big deal. But to those of you that have grabbed my package? FUCK YOU. Seriously. You got a 'handful' of Gerard Way. I hope you're fucking happy how that made me feel - how it made me feel like a fucking object or some animal on display or some shit. How fucking weird and wrong it felt to have some random, underage girl grope me. You one of those twisted little fucks that's never gonna wash that hand again, too? Did you go home and slip that hand down into your panties and imagine it was me? I don't even want to think about that - ever. Fuck, yeah, I'm pissed off about this. Given time, the rage will subside, but right now, it infuriates me that some of you obviously don't think before you act on something. THINK people! I've been screaming about that for years now - have a fucking brain in your head. And respect - how about that? Is it a foreign concept to some of you? I know the large majority of our fans wouldn't think of doing something like this and really, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea that I don't appreciate the fans and that I don't know that without the fans, we wouldn't be able to be doing what we're doing right now. But seriously, a few rotten apples, ya know? I hope you never have to be in my shoes. So in closing, don't fucking touch me there and we'll all be fine? O-fucking-kay?
Hmm. I guess I do feel a little better about that now. Might as well write the second letter. This one goes out to all the homophobic, misogynistic, testosterone-overcharged assholes out there because for some reason I've encountered more of you than usual this week.
Dear Homophobic, Misogynistic, Testosterone-Overcharged Assholes,
I know it probably makes you feel like a big man or something calling me a faggot. Oh don't get me wrong, my stage-self just loves to push your buttons. I WANT you to call me a faggot and in the back of your head I want you to think about what that really means to you - to call me that when you're the one who's probably gonna go home and circle jerk with your football buddies. You're probably the type of pathetic shit that slaps your girlfriend around every now and then or treats are like a lower life form in public too. I'm just curious: does it make your dick grow when you do that shit? I mean, fuckin'-a what an animal you must be! Such a burly, manly man. Yeah, you know what you really are? You're a fuck-tard. You are a shining example of what is wrong with humanity as a whole. You cast out judgments on people you don't even know in hopes of making yourself feel superior. I can take a lot of shit from a lot of people, but even I have my limits. Still, I'm glad you're taking it out on me and hopefully not the seventeen year old kid who was at the show and who just happens to like wearing eyeliner though. And to the macho man who shoved me against the wall to impress the other shit heads in his band? FUCK YOU! You're lucky I didn't go all Jersey on your ass, pull out a fucking knife and shove it through your damn eye socket. 'Cause you know, the thought did cross my mind. That's really what that crooked smile I flashed you was about - me imagining you with a knife in your fucking eyeball - the surprised look that would have been on your face when you realized how badly you had just fucked up - your blood dripping down your face onto the floor. Shocking, isn't it? Calling me a girl was real original too. Gee, never got that one before. I wonder if you really wanna fuck me? 'Cause you know, that would make you the fucking faggot, idiot. You know what takes real balls? Putting on fucking makeup in a truck stop bathroom in the middle of Texas. I've done that shit and I'm secure enough with my sexuality that I can push the fucking boundaries and not give a shit. I know at the end of the fucking day that I'm a pretty normal dude that likes to go home and fuck my girlfriend. Yes. GIRLfriend. Surprised? Fucking idiot. You probably get your drummer to fuck you up the ass with his drumsticks. That's what I fucking think. And by the way, grow the fuck up! You're like forty fucking years old and acting like some insecure teenager.
Ha! Wow. That was kinda fun. It definitely did put me in a better mood.