It was the final night at the hospital and Billy had gone home to shower and change, promising he'd be back soon. I had been playing to take a nap to pass the time but much to my shock I had barely closed my eyes when the door opened again. Thinking it was the nurse I just kept my eyes closed, but when a hand took mine - A hand I knew wasnt Billys - I had to look.
"I'm sorry, I didnt mean to wake you." Lukes eyes filled with sorrow and I sat up suddenly, causing my ribs to flare with pain, wincing I settled myself into a more comfortable position, staring at Luke with wide eyes.
"N - no, you didnt wake me." I said quietly. Luke sighed and forced a tiny smile, reaching out his free hand and brushing some hair out of my face, causing me to flinch. He instantly drew his hand back and I saw the hurt in his eyes.
"I... I didnt mean to hurt you Alex - "
"How could you not have meant to? You were beating the crap out of me, how you can honestly sit there and say you didnt mean it?" I demanded, I wanted to sound angry and to pull my hand away but I merely sounded hurt and I wanted to hold his hand as much as he wanted to hold mine. His lip trembled a little before he next spoke and my heart ached for him.
"I was just angry, I know I shouldnt have been. It was wrong of me and I've never hated myself so much in my entire life. Please Al, you have to believe me - I'm so so sorry, I really am. I love you so much - I'll get help. I'll get counseling, go to anger management, anything you want I'll do it. I promise - Please... Al, please talk to me." He begged, tears starting to spill onto his cheeks. I opened my mouth to answer but I didnt know what to say. I knew I should push him away and tell him I hated him, to cut him out of my life forever. He had promised me he would stop countless times before and he never had, and every time I hadnt learnt from my mistake, I just kept on believing him, forgiving him. And now he had put me into a hospital, was I still going to believe him? He seemed to really mean it this time, but he had every time before. I was completely torn, I knew what I should do... but that wasnt what I wanted to do. The sad thing was, I needed him. Through all the pain and sadness, I couldnt be without him. He was my poison, I signed my own death sentence the day I fell for him. And I didnt feel as if I could turn back from it.
"Alex...Talk to me..." He whispered, taking my hand into both of his and looking me in the eyes, tears sparkling under the lights.
"Luke I... I dont know what to say okay?.. You really stepped over the line this time and I shouldnt forgive you but -" I stopped as the door opened again and Billy backed into the room, holding two coffee cups.
"Hey Al, I got ya' coffee too since I -" He stopped as he turned round and saw Luke, whose tears seemed to miraculously stop when he saw Billy. They were both staring with their eyes and mouths wide, hatred in their stony expressions.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Snarled Billy and Luke clutched my hand tighter, shifting closer to the bed.
"What does it look like retard? I'm talking to my boyfriend, so if you dont mind giving us a little privacy -" Billy laughed coldly and put the coffee cups down walking over to Luke.
"I dont think so, after everything you've done to him you think he's gonna want to talk to you?" He snapped. Luke got to his feet, he was taller than Billy and looked down at him with an intimidating expression but Billy just looked up with no sign of fear and I felt my heart start to race, I knew if they were going to fight I wouldnt be able to stop them.
"I dont think thats your decision to make now is it?" Said Luke quietly, his voice cold. Billy folded his arms and gave his best death glare.
"Maybe not, but I see no reason as to why he would want to talk to you." He said pointedly. Both of them glanced at me before looking back at eachother as I opened my mouth to say something, but then Luke began to talk again and I wasnt given the chance.
"And I see no reason why he would want to talk to you - Lets just get this straight, he's my boyfriend and I know you like him, but the problem is I know I was a fool for thinking he'd like you back - so if you think that just because he's in a hospital he's going to suddenly love you then your wrong, why would he want you when he could have me." I saw the pain flood Billys face and I felt such pain for him that I was suddenly angry at Luke. How dare he say that, how dare he act like such an egotistical pig.
"Because I would never hurt him..." Billy whispered, looking down at the floor, clenching his fists by his sides. Luke laughed and pushed him away.
"Great, well I'm never going to hurt him again so I guess he doesnt need you anymore. So - bye!" Billy was grabbed by the collar of his shirt and thrown in the direction of the door, he didnt look at me or Luke as he got slowly to his feet, blushing a little. Luke was smirking and I noticed how much Billys shoulders had drooped as he took hold of the door handle. I felt a lump in my throat and one look at Lukes smug face was enough to confirm what I should have known a long time ago.
"Billy wait!" I cried, Lukes head snapped round to stare at me as Billy slowly turned his head, his eyes filled with hope. I glanced at Luke, feeling fear I knew I didnt want to feel anymore before facing Billy again.
"Dont go, I want you to stay." I said softly, Billy smiled and his eyes brightened as he hesitantly walked back into the room.
"ALEX! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Yelled Luke, storming over to the bed, his eyes filled with anger. I almost began to apologize like I usually would but I swallowed down my fear and trembled as I looked him in the face.
"I dont want you here Luke. You told me you'd change but thats an empty promise, I know that now and I wont be hurt by you again. Leave...please." My voice only wobbled a little and to my astonishment I saw tears in Lukes eyes as he stared at me in shock.
"He said leave idiot, or are you deaf?" Snarled Billy, his hand taking mine. Luke looked at us both before shaking his head, his fists clenched and shaking.
"Fine... I leave, I hope you'll be very happy together -" He leaned forward so that his face was close to mine. "Whore" He spat before storming out of the room. I managed to keep a strong face until Billy sat down by the bed, his hand never leaving mine, when he asked me if I was okay I broke down into tears. I couldnt quite believe what I had just done and even though it hurt a lot... I knew I was making myself happier than I ever could have been with Luke.