My sister and I were at work at the little family owned store that we operated. We had everything you can ever image. We even sold hard to get items which made our store a success.
As I stood behind the counter I listened to Nonnie go on and on about her engagement to Gee and I couldn’t help, but feel jealous. I mean they haven’t even been together that long and they are already engaged. I felt bad. I felt alone and I felt so unloved. How come she gets the happiness?
I love my sister and all and I want her to be happy, but why does she get the happily ever after, when all I get is a try. After all the years that I spent with Frank all I get is a try and after a few months with Gerard Nonnie gets a whole life time. This was bullshit and I was pissed, but I am more pissed at myself because I could have had a happily ever after if I moved up in my relationship with Jepha.
Jepha wanted to be with me, but when Frank said he wanted to give it another try I couldn't believe it. I let my foolish heart get in the way and I looked past something that could have been good. I should have told Jepha yes that I wanted to be with him, but no I didn’t listen to reason.
Wait? What am I doing? Why I’m I questioning my choice. I love Frank and maybe one day he would love me back. No, what the hell am I thinking. He will never love me back. He never said those words, but he’s with me and only me that has to count for something, right?
I didn’t realize that I was battling myself until Nonnie screamed my name, “What Non?”
“I said I want you to be my maid of honor and that I want little Anthony to be my ring bearer…” I watched as she sighed, “there is so much we have to do still. I can’t believe I will be married in two mouths. Two mouths!”
I didn’t realize that I was crying until she put the stack of CDs she had down and walked over to me. Taking me into a hug she whispered, “Monica you don’t have to live like this. You can have your happiness. You just have to leave him to get it.”
I closed my eyes and even more tears pooled from my eyes and I just cried, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t he love me? Am I not good enough?”
She pulled back from me and grabbed my face in her hands , “You are none of those things. Nothing is wrong with you and you are good enough. You just have to find someone who can see that in you.”
I was still crying when we heard the chime and I quickly wiped my face before we went to help the customer. Much to my surprise when I looked up it was Jepha and the rest of The Used. I greeted the other three guys, but before I could say anything to Jepha he grabbed me into his arms and said, “Why have you been crying?”
I inhaled his scent and wondered how can a man who has barely known me be so in tune with me. Frankie wasn’t like that or if he was he chose to ignore me or tune me out. When I pulled back to look Jepha in the face I noticed something in his eyes that I never noticed in Frank’s, love. Jepha loved me and I felt something pull at my soul.
*gasps* NO!!!!!!!!! Okay sory for not up dating, but I have been sick with tonsillitis. I have been needing to get my tonsils removed, but since I am too old they say I have to sfer through it. So forgivers me please.