Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Stuttering 2.0
128:"I feel like Mr. & Mrs. Smith."
2 reviews"How can you not hear what I'm saying? When I asked in production you said it sounded great and now months later you don't understand?"
0Unrated
Stuttering 128
The next place he pulled up to was Joe's and walked in. The house had crying babies and he suddenly realized that he never got to hear those cries with Roman and Sofia. Those desperate cries that made you just want to hold them and make the world stop.
"What's going on?" Joe ask holding a naked, who?
"Who's that?" Patty questioned.
"I don't know-"
Joe grabbed the baby's hand, then his foot.
"Shia." Joe stated.
"How do you know?"
"He's got nail polish on his toes. Noah's got polish on his fingers. We're turning them into Pete early." Joe said with a laugh.
"What's it like?" Patrick asked.
"What's what like?"
"This- your family. Cali doesn't wanna marry me."
"We're not married."
"What? You are."
"We're not, we're playing house."
Patrick pulled his hair and sighed.
"But you're well oiled." Patrick added.
"Yea, I know. That's me. I think I grew up a little dude."
"Really?"
"Yea...its fun and scary. I’m not in a rush to get married. I’m fine here. This moment, this time." Joe concluded, "ooh, I got a little warm there."
"I got that feeling too man. Thanx." Patrick sighed.
Joe then shook his foot and hung his head.
"Really?! Really?! Way to go Shia. Did you have to pee on daddy?" Joe asked.
"That luck will go a long way." Patrick sighed.
"I hope it does."
"Im gonna go-"
"You just got here."
"I'll see you later."
Gin then came out with Noah and had this huge grin on her face.
"He just pee'd on me." Gin said laughing.
"Yea, he just pee'd on me too." Joe added.
"Awesome. Hey Patty Cakes."
"Mrs. Trohman."
"Right. Whenever you're done babe."
Gin then walked over and took the baby away from Joe.
"Come to mommy Shia." Gin said walking away with both boys under her arm, "kiss Cal for me."
"Anytime."
*
Tuesday, the 30th, exactly 7 days after the boys were born we had the Bris at Joe & Gin's place. It didn't even occur to me that 'Genovieve', her name, could be translated (or kind of) into Hebrew.
This ceremony took about 20 mins and I learned a lot about being Jewish. I was amused seeing Patrick, Pete and Andy in their kippot's which humored me. Gin looked a little uncomfortable around Joe's other people but I stood right next to her and we made jokes.
"How did you remember all of that? You can't even remember your name sometimes." I said laughing.
"Girl I don't know. I guess I just put my mind to it? Could that be it?"
"It could be."
The Bris was over a few hours later and I made my way home with Patty and the kids. I had my iPod in because we all know that if I didn't have to drive I won't. Roman was locked in his car seat fighting sleep while Sofia had been sleeping for a solid 75 minutes.
Patrick took the babies in the house and I went to go lie down on the couch. I had my iPod on shuffle and a fall out boy song came on. As horrible as it sounds one, I do like the band, and two, sometimes not even I know what Mumbles is saying. So I figured, now was the time.
But I should have left that alone considering he's still a bit pissed at me for the whole, not wanting to marry him again thing.
"Patrick!" I yelled to him walking by as I hit rewind on my ipod and tried to listen closer.
"Yea Cal?" Patrick asked exhausted.
"Baby what do you say in this part?" I asked raising the volume on the ipod and putting on of the headphones to his ear.
"What do you mean?" He asked confused
"I mean what words are you singing?"
"Can't you hear them?" He said as if it were the dumbest question I'd ever asked.
"Well yea babe I can hear sounds but I don't HEAR what you're saying."
"How can you not hear what I'm saying? When I asked in production you said it sounded great and now months later you don't understand?"
"Well I mean I love James brown and I think it sounds bad ass but I do NOT know what the hell that man is saying half the time...and you...well you mumble in songs."
"I mumble?"
"Yes! Why do you think Gin and I call you Mumbles?"
He looked completely taken aback and open and closed his mouth a few times before speaking.
"I don't know I just thought you were being well you." I laughed.
"So you really don't know what I'm saying when I sing?"
"Not to save my life or the life of our children."
He stared at me with a look of bewilderment for a second.
"Like not ever?" He demanded.
"Well sometimes in slow songs...or when I'm half-conscious." I said as I rewound the iPod song again and tried to decipher his singing.
"Half-conscious?"
"Yea like I figured out the bandwagon thing in this aint a scene when I was half asleep one night. I was like oh! That makes more sense!"
He looked at me again before turning to walk out mumbling to himself.
"RED! Tell me what you say!" I yelled.
"Why don't you knock yourself half-unconscious and do it yourself!" He yelled back as he slammed the basement door.
"What the hell just happened?" I asked to no one in particular.
After a few minutes I then went downstairs and looked at Patrick. Patrick and I sat across from each other and both drew the same conclusion. If we didn't do something soon we wouldn't know what to do at all.
*
"Hey, so you're gonna watch them?" I asked with their baby bag over my shoulder.
"I thought you were just gonna run in and then run out?" Gin said laughing.
"I was gonna...I don't know. I'll be back in like 2 hours?"
"Why are you looking at me like im the babysitter?"
"Because I don't know...this feels different."
"Bye Calista."
*
"So you guys decided to do counseling?" Dr. Phillps asked
"Yup." Patrick and I responded in unison.
"Why?"
"We make each other miserable and mad and sick...and every other emotion you could think of." Patrick stated with a laugh.
"So why not stay divorced?" Dr. Phillips enquired, confused.
"Well because for every hour he makes me want to shoot him there are 23 that he makes me happy...and I can't live without him." I sighed.
Patrick then leaned over and kissed my lips softly.
"Nicely put wifey." Patrick added with a giggle.
"Thanks babe, I try."
Dr. Phillips then scanned us intently and put his notebook down.
"I feel like Mr. & Mrs. Smith." Patrick added doing the choking thing from the movie then straightening his posture.
"You're retarded." I said laughing.
"So what do you want to talk about?" Dr. Phillips asked.
Patrick and I looked at each other and I was the first to speak.
"Maybe we should start with how he's a cheating whore." I said with a little laugh.
"Sound great. Lets start with that. Do you resent him for that action...for what happened?" Dr. Phillps enquired.
"He cheated on me." I said bluntly.
"There's different levels of cheating Miss-."
"Its Rodriguez."
"Stump." Patrick sighed
"Rodriguez- until I feel like marring you again."
"Shut up."
"You can call me Calista."
"Well, Calista?"
"Ok. He put his penis in his ex-girlfriend. What level is that?" I said sarcastically the doctor smiled slightly wrote something down
"I see. That's probably the most extreme of levels"
I snorted and rolled my eyes. The doctor turned to Patrick
"Why did you do that Patrick?"
For the first time ever I think we spoke about this.
"I don't know." Patrick started.
"You don't know why you cheated on your wife?"
"She wasn't my wife then...we were barely even dating."
"Psh, well someone forgot to send me that memo, to my recollection we were dating since Vegas."
Patrick sighed frustrated.
"You know I really feel like you guys are ganging up on me."
"Sorry that's not our intention." The doctor said calmly.
"Speak for yourself." I mumbled.
"See doc she hates me!"
I rolled my eyes again.
"Calista, we are trying to open up communication which means you have to let him speak without judgment." Dr. Phillips said to me.
I felt like I was being scolded and pouted.
"Fine I'm sorry continue, Paris what says you about that?" I waved my hand at Patrick and he took a deep breath.
"Look" He said turning from me from the doc.
"I love her." He pointed to me.
"I've loved her from the first time I logged into myspace and saw that picture of her. Someone with so much emotion in her eyes-" He sighed.
"I looked at my ex all the time for a 1½ years almost everyday and her eyes didn't speak to me the way Cal's did. The way they still do. Like right now-" He looked over with a slight smile.
"I just want her to look at me with love again."
"I do love you Red."
"It’s not the same. You don't look at me the same."
Dr. Phillips looked at his watch and then us. Our hour was officially. Until next week I thought walking out in front of Patrick.
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Really Ficwad REALLY?!
it fuckign took me 3 days to post this right.
i hate you.
hope you like it
cal
The next place he pulled up to was Joe's and walked in. The house had crying babies and he suddenly realized that he never got to hear those cries with Roman and Sofia. Those desperate cries that made you just want to hold them and make the world stop.
"What's going on?" Joe ask holding a naked, who?
"Who's that?" Patty questioned.
"I don't know-"
Joe grabbed the baby's hand, then his foot.
"Shia." Joe stated.
"How do you know?"
"He's got nail polish on his toes. Noah's got polish on his fingers. We're turning them into Pete early." Joe said with a laugh.
"What's it like?" Patrick asked.
"What's what like?"
"This- your family. Cali doesn't wanna marry me."
"We're not married."
"What? You are."
"We're not, we're playing house."
Patrick pulled his hair and sighed.
"But you're well oiled." Patrick added.
"Yea, I know. That's me. I think I grew up a little dude."
"Really?"
"Yea...its fun and scary. I’m not in a rush to get married. I’m fine here. This moment, this time." Joe concluded, "ooh, I got a little warm there."
"I got that feeling too man. Thanx." Patrick sighed.
Joe then shook his foot and hung his head.
"Really?! Really?! Way to go Shia. Did you have to pee on daddy?" Joe asked.
"That luck will go a long way." Patrick sighed.
"I hope it does."
"Im gonna go-"
"You just got here."
"I'll see you later."
Gin then came out with Noah and had this huge grin on her face.
"He just pee'd on me." Gin said laughing.
"Yea, he just pee'd on me too." Joe added.
"Awesome. Hey Patty Cakes."
"Mrs. Trohman."
"Right. Whenever you're done babe."
Gin then walked over and took the baby away from Joe.
"Come to mommy Shia." Gin said walking away with both boys under her arm, "kiss Cal for me."
"Anytime."
*
Tuesday, the 30th, exactly 7 days after the boys were born we had the Bris at Joe & Gin's place. It didn't even occur to me that 'Genovieve', her name, could be translated (or kind of) into Hebrew.
This ceremony took about 20 mins and I learned a lot about being Jewish. I was amused seeing Patrick, Pete and Andy in their kippot's which humored me. Gin looked a little uncomfortable around Joe's other people but I stood right next to her and we made jokes.
"How did you remember all of that? You can't even remember your name sometimes." I said laughing.
"Girl I don't know. I guess I just put my mind to it? Could that be it?"
"It could be."
The Bris was over a few hours later and I made my way home with Patty and the kids. I had my iPod in because we all know that if I didn't have to drive I won't. Roman was locked in his car seat fighting sleep while Sofia had been sleeping for a solid 75 minutes.
Patrick took the babies in the house and I went to go lie down on the couch. I had my iPod on shuffle and a fall out boy song came on. As horrible as it sounds one, I do like the band, and two, sometimes not even I know what Mumbles is saying. So I figured, now was the time.
But I should have left that alone considering he's still a bit pissed at me for the whole, not wanting to marry him again thing.
"Patrick!" I yelled to him walking by as I hit rewind on my ipod and tried to listen closer.
"Yea Cal?" Patrick asked exhausted.
"Baby what do you say in this part?" I asked raising the volume on the ipod and putting on of the headphones to his ear.
"What do you mean?" He asked confused
"I mean what words are you singing?"
"Can't you hear them?" He said as if it were the dumbest question I'd ever asked.
"Well yea babe I can hear sounds but I don't HEAR what you're saying."
"How can you not hear what I'm saying? When I asked in production you said it sounded great and now months later you don't understand?"
"Well I mean I love James brown and I think it sounds bad ass but I do NOT know what the hell that man is saying half the time...and you...well you mumble in songs."
"I mumble?"
"Yes! Why do you think Gin and I call you Mumbles?"
He looked completely taken aback and open and closed his mouth a few times before speaking.
"I don't know I just thought you were being well you." I laughed.
"So you really don't know what I'm saying when I sing?"
"Not to save my life or the life of our children."
He stared at me with a look of bewilderment for a second.
"Like not ever?" He demanded.
"Well sometimes in slow songs...or when I'm half-conscious." I said as I rewound the iPod song again and tried to decipher his singing.
"Half-conscious?"
"Yea like I figured out the bandwagon thing in this aint a scene when I was half asleep one night. I was like oh! That makes more sense!"
He looked at me again before turning to walk out mumbling to himself.
"RED! Tell me what you say!" I yelled.
"Why don't you knock yourself half-unconscious and do it yourself!" He yelled back as he slammed the basement door.
"What the hell just happened?" I asked to no one in particular.
After a few minutes I then went downstairs and looked at Patrick. Patrick and I sat across from each other and both drew the same conclusion. If we didn't do something soon we wouldn't know what to do at all.
*
"Hey, so you're gonna watch them?" I asked with their baby bag over my shoulder.
"I thought you were just gonna run in and then run out?" Gin said laughing.
"I was gonna...I don't know. I'll be back in like 2 hours?"
"Why are you looking at me like im the babysitter?"
"Because I don't know...this feels different."
"Bye Calista."
*
"So you guys decided to do counseling?" Dr. Phillps asked
"Yup." Patrick and I responded in unison.
"Why?"
"We make each other miserable and mad and sick...and every other emotion you could think of." Patrick stated with a laugh.
"So why not stay divorced?" Dr. Phillips enquired, confused.
"Well because for every hour he makes me want to shoot him there are 23 that he makes me happy...and I can't live without him." I sighed.
Patrick then leaned over and kissed my lips softly.
"Nicely put wifey." Patrick added with a giggle.
"Thanks babe, I try."
Dr. Phillips then scanned us intently and put his notebook down.
"I feel like Mr. & Mrs. Smith." Patrick added doing the choking thing from the movie then straightening his posture.
"You're retarded." I said laughing.
"So what do you want to talk about?" Dr. Phillips asked.
Patrick and I looked at each other and I was the first to speak.
"Maybe we should start with how he's a cheating whore." I said with a little laugh.
"Sound great. Lets start with that. Do you resent him for that action...for what happened?" Dr. Phillps enquired.
"He cheated on me." I said bluntly.
"There's different levels of cheating Miss-."
"Its Rodriguez."
"Stump." Patrick sighed
"Rodriguez- until I feel like marring you again."
"Shut up."
"You can call me Calista."
"Well, Calista?"
"Ok. He put his penis in his ex-girlfriend. What level is that?" I said sarcastically the doctor smiled slightly wrote something down
"I see. That's probably the most extreme of levels"
I snorted and rolled my eyes. The doctor turned to Patrick
"Why did you do that Patrick?"
For the first time ever I think we spoke about this.
"I don't know." Patrick started.
"You don't know why you cheated on your wife?"
"She wasn't my wife then...we were barely even dating."
"Psh, well someone forgot to send me that memo, to my recollection we were dating since Vegas."
Patrick sighed frustrated.
"You know I really feel like you guys are ganging up on me."
"Sorry that's not our intention." The doctor said calmly.
"Speak for yourself." I mumbled.
"See doc she hates me!"
I rolled my eyes again.
"Calista, we are trying to open up communication which means you have to let him speak without judgment." Dr. Phillips said to me.
I felt like I was being scolded and pouted.
"Fine I'm sorry continue, Paris what says you about that?" I waved my hand at Patrick and he took a deep breath.
"Look" He said turning from me from the doc.
"I love her." He pointed to me.
"I've loved her from the first time I logged into myspace and saw that picture of her. Someone with so much emotion in her eyes-" He sighed.
"I looked at my ex all the time for a 1½ years almost everyday and her eyes didn't speak to me the way Cal's did. The way they still do. Like right now-" He looked over with a slight smile.
"I just want her to look at me with love again."
"I do love you Red."
"It’s not the same. You don't look at me the same."
Dr. Phillips looked at his watch and then us. Our hour was officially. Until next week I thought walking out in front of Patrick.
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Really Ficwad REALLY?!
it fuckign took me 3 days to post this right.
i hate you.
hope you like it
cal
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