"No you didn't. You didn't kill your father and you didn't kill your mother."
"Yes i did."
"It was self defense.And besides, she isn't dead."
"The cops won't see it that way."
"Come here." He brought me into a hug. "We'll figure this out." I felt safe. But only for the moment. I herd the sirens. They were only about five minuets away. I was feeling weary again. I saw light. And then I felt a sharp pain in the side of my head. Then complete and utter darkness. Flash. My white rose has died. My blue rose has yet to be found. My black rose is bigger than ever and my red rose is growing. Flash. I walk into the living room. I see myself again. But only as my mini-me. I am standing up against a wall with my ears covered and my eyes shut. My mother has a knife held to my dad's chest. I'm screaming. Sirens are ringing and rageing through the air. I'm looking in on a flash back. I wake up. I'm in the hospital. I was still a bit out of it. I could hear little things. I was zoning in and out. " ... She can't go to jail ... We can't take her mother away from her either .... "
"She can stay with me ..." I couldn't make out who was speaking or where it was comeing from. I got up out of the hospital bed that I knew oh too well. I couldn't really stand and I was still in my cloths. I hate those gowns they make you wear. I started walking down the hall useing the wall for support. I found my way to stairs. "Anna!" I turned around, off balance and fell. "Anna! Anna are you OK?" It was Matt and two doctors. Or were they nurses? My vision was blurry. "What's going on?"
"You're in the hospital."
"I know that. I ment with my mom and I."
"She is going to be on house arrest for a month. You can't be near her within that month. So you're going to stay with me." 'Oh that's just lovely.' I was so confused and drugged that I really didn't know how to react to that at the moment in time. So my brain just kinda died. "Come on. We'll go get your things." I noded as he helped me up and supported half my weight. It took us forever to get to the car. He helped me in the back seat. I fell asleep on the way there. When I woke up Matt was in the back seat with me sleeping and we were on the side of my street. "Mah ... Matt?"
"Mmm..." He moaned as he rolled and opened his eyes. "Yea?"
"Should I go get my things now?"
"Sure." He slowly got up and opened the door. I walked out and headed to the front door. My things were already packed. It didn't take me long to get them. I walked back out to the car and loaded my things in the trunk. "Oh... Hang on one second." I ran back inside and went to the bathroom. I grabbed my razor and shoved it in my pocket. "You got everything?"
"Yeah... Let's go." I got in the car. My mom was watching us out the window, like she cared. Her eyes were watering. 'Put on a show.' My mind was being a bitch. Especially twords her. "Let's play some music." He tossed in a CD called Senses Fail. "Senses Fail?"
"Yeah. They are my all time favorite band."
"I've never herd of them."
"Really? Oh wow ... Here..." He flipped through the songs to number 6. It was called Yellow Angles. He started to tap his hand on his leg to the beat. I started to tap my foot. " Ah I see you like them."
"They're pretty good." I stated. It wasn't that long before we got to his house. " Listen, I want to thank you for letting me stay here. You don't know how much this is helping me out."
"No problem at all. I love to help people." He smiled. I blushed. I do like him. And after what he's seen from me, how could I not. Not most people get to hear or see me beat the shit out of my mother on a daily basis. We pulled into his driveway. He unlocked the trunk and I got out of the car. " Oh here let me help. " He grabbed some of my shit and carried it inside. I shut the trunk door. "Thanks." He smiled. He opened his front door and took off his shoes. " Mom I need to talk to you!" He motioned me to follow him upstiars. I tripped up most of them. "Staris arn't my specialty."
"I noticed." He said sarcasticly messing around. We turned a couple corner and we ended up in his room. He set my shit down in a corner. " I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable ok?" I nodded and sat down on his amazingly comfortable bed.I rolled up my sleves. The cuts were still there. I laid on the bed for a few minuets and then ended up passing out. When I woke up, Matt was sitting next to me reading something. "Did ... did I fall asleep?"
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Didn't want to. You must have needed it. You didn't even wake up for dinner." He smiled.
"Don't be. It's not ur fault. But may I ask you something."
"Sure." I said as I sat up. "Why did or do you cut yourself?" My heart started raceing. 'You idiot! You forgot to roll down your sleeves!' My mind flipped out on me. " Things have been really hard. And sometimes It just helps. But you regret it later." I stood up and had my back twords him. "It's ok. I use to be the same way." He came up behind me and hugged me. His head was on my shoulder. He wrapped his arms around my waist. "How did you stop?"
"I just focused on the good things. Then it all started to turn around."
"What if you can't stop?"
"You can stop. You just need to figure out a way."
"I mean literally, where your body is so use to it when anything goes wrong, it's an automatic thing that you do...?"
"Then find something to distract yourself."
"I don't have anything."
"What about a boyfriend?"
"Do you write or draw?"
"A little bit. "
"Does it help?"
"Hmm .. Then I don't know ... " I walked away from him and sat back down on the bed. I let myself fall backwards. He came over to me and laid on top of me. He started to whisper in my ear. " Can I be your distraction."
"You have a girlfiend."
"No I don't." I poped up. " But at the movie's .."
"The only reason I said that, was, because I thought you had a boyfriend." 'Wtf wtf wtf!?!?' My mind was epicly confused at that point in time. "So ... " He repeated. " Can I be your distraction?"
I replied very confused. " Only, if I get to be yours." He smiled and kissed me on my forhead. After that we just laid there and got to know eachother better. We stayed up untill maybe 3:20 in the morning. There was no sleeping that night.