I know you don`t wanna sleep here alone, just take it easy.
I fell back on the bed, pulling the covers around me, and buried my head in the pillow. I wanted nothing more than to fall off the face of the earth, so that I wouldn't feel the pain in the pit of my stomach. It felt like the last few years of my life had suddenly been unleashed, and every emotion I had ever felt radiated throughout my body to my finger tips and toes.
I'm not sure how long I sat crying, it could have been an hour, or even a few minutes. However long it was, the guy did not leave. In fact, he sat on the bed and rubbed my legs through the blankets in a comforting way. I didn't have any strength to bother to push his hands away from me, and at that point I really didn't care. I had already been violated as much as possible, so what did it matter?
I finally fell back asleep, and when I awoke again, I was vaguely aware of running water hitting porcelain, and assumed it was meant for me. I groaned and tried to keep my eyes focused in front of me because the man was now back in the room.
"I would have washed your clothes if I had a washer," he said quietly. "Uh, but I found some clothes that might fit you." He gestured towards a folded pile of clothes on his dresser and blushed. "They might be pretty big though."
I stared at him blankly, my eyes tracing his boyish features slowly. He looked a lot younger than his persona portrayed. I'd estimate about 24.
Perhaps he felt uncomfortable underneath my gaze, because he blushed a deeper red and began to fidget from side to side.
I decided that I did not want to move from the bed. Despite what had happened the previous night, the bed felt like the only safe place for me. I turned away, facing the wall, and closed my eyes again.
"Do you have a name?" asked the guy. I didn't answer him; rather, I started to examine a picture on the wall I was looking at. I admired the artists’ great attention to detail, not to mention the piece as a whole, but the voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Uh, well my name is Gerard. I have to be getting to work soon. I drew you a bath, it’s nice and warm. I don't mind if you stay here while I'm gone, but I think you should get out of bed. There's plenty of food in the fridge. Help yourself."
I didn't reply, and when he didn't say anything else I figured he had left but moments later I felt his strong arms wrap around me and the bed sheet as he lifted me out of bed and out of the room.
I hung limply in his arms as he carried me into the wash room and slowly lowered me into the warm water, still wrapped in the navy blue sheet. He paused for a moment, perhaps not quite sure of what to do next before he left and them reappeared with the pile of clothes. He placed them on the counter and said, "Maybe I'll see you later." Then he left me all alone in his apartment, all alone to feel like a pathetic excuse of a person.
Gerard returned around eight that evening. I had taken a bath, and was wearing his clothes (which were pretty big but nice and comfortable), but I was lying on his bed trying to sleep.
"Have you eaten anything?" He asked once he had taken off his jacket and stored it in the closet. As if answering for me, my stomach began to growl and I heard a small laugh.
"I take that as a no. I'm going to make some dinner, and you're going to eat it." He walked out of the room and I listened as he began puttering around in the kitchen.
Trying to sleep was getting pretty useless, my mind was to full of thoughts. My eyes began to wander the navy blue room, which seemed to be this Gerard’s favourite color. There wasn't much to look at. There was a bedside table, a laundry hamper, and a little desk in the corner of the room. While everything else in the room was neat, the desk was cluttered with papers and pencils. The corner slightly peaked my interest, but only for a moment; Gerard had poked his head into the room.
"You eat meat don't you?"
I nodded, barely, and he disappeared again. I closed my eyes and what felt like seconds later Gerard’s voice woke me up.
"Up you get. You need to get something into that stomach of yours." He stood beside the bed, looking ready to drag me out if he had to, so I slowly rolled over and pushed myself off the soft foam mattress.
I followed Gerard out into the small kitchen where there were two plates of spaghetti on the table. He pulled out a chair and motioned for me to sit there. Then he took the seat across from me.
Wearily, I took the seat, and lowered my eyes to the plate. The smell of the sauce made my stomach growl louder, so without much more thought, I picked up the fork and plunged it into the mountain of noodles and began shovelling it into my mouth. I didn't even think about Gerard until I was halfway done my plate and looked up.
He was watching me with careful eyes, and I froze, fork in midair.
He furrowed his brow, mulling over his thoughts before he said, "You should have let me call the police last night. Frank could be down at the police station right now. Why didn't you want me to call?"
I put my fork down and wiped my mouth with a napkin. Then, I got up from the table, returned to his bedroom and grabbed my shoes. I quickly slipped them on, threw on my jacket, and headed for the door. I passed the kitchen on my way out, where he was still sitting at the table, looking like he was waiting for me to return.
"What the-" he started, but I cut him off.
"Thanks a lot for everything." I slammed the door behind me and started running down the hall towards the stairs. I heard Gerard yell down the staircase as I ran out the front door and burst into tears.