After the fall of Voldemort, Draco believes he has discovered Harry's secret.
(#) BrotherBludgeon 2009-03-13 06:29:35 PMWithout the interludes, this story would've been funny. It has all the makings of an excellent comedic one-shot. A ray of sunshine in a world where the character of Draco Malfoy is beloved as a bad boy, regardless of his history of cowardice and unrelenting incompetance.
But, you had to go and include the interludes. So I can't classify this as the little snippet of comedy. No, the interludes took this story and made it important. Made it valuable for more than humor.
It showed a very real possibility for a Harry that managed to win before 7th year, a teenaged celebrity without a steady girlfriend, who happens to have the entire poplution of his school (barring a few Death Nibblers) feeling that they're deeply in his debt.
I've seen a few "Harry the Man-Slag" stories, and they just don't seem right. If Harry did decide to date every available girl in Hogwarts, I have to imagine it'd go something like this. And the way you interweaved with Draco's more limited (and deluded) perspective, almost has to be fully appreciated with a second read-through.
I think you disappointed a lot of people with this one, people hoping for something simple or smutty.
Screw them, I say.
(#) PerfesserN 2009-03-14 08:29:53 AMThis story needs to be wrapped in red tape that reads: "WARNING, Eating or drinking while reading this story WILL result in food and/or drink being forcibly ejected through the reader’s nostrils!"
You've captured the essence of Mal-formed beautifully, self-aggrandizing and delusional. He is the perfect mark for a prank of the Weasley variety.
I appreciated the tender, Harmonious moment at the end too.
Now I have a deal for you - I'll show you the next chapter of Battered Hearts if you'll show me the next chapter of Distaff Side. Do we have an agreement?
Author's response- Those assured of their own superiority make great targets.
- I've been stuck on Distaff for a while, right at the point of pranking the minders, but I've finally gotten an idea for the prank and how it can backfire I'm hoping to have a chapter of distaff out by next weekend.
- That was a very funny story. Your real triumph was to capture the nature of Draco Malfoy. You could really see the events from his perspective. Like all good comedies, you could also see his downfall coming and wince in anticipation. This degree of reader involvement puts this story a bit above the rest.
Overall, you let the comedy tell the story without over focus on Harry's romantic travails. That was one good touch that made the story different from most.
However, the thing that stood out was the fact that Draco's downfall was, ultimately, due to his own arrogace and his inability to judge Harry correctly (a lethal flaw for a Slytherin). The only question to remain was: was this solely the Weasley boys' idea or did Harry have some small role to play in the planning? I hope not as it is nice to see Ron getting a few kicks in for once.
BenRG's Rating: 8.5/10
Author's response- Thank you.
- This was purely a Weasley plot, Harry, as he told Hermione, had nothing to do with it, though he did find it funny and did in deed laugh.
- I've had my abuse of the Weasleys pointed out to me, so I'm trying to ease off on that (for a while)
- -laughs uproariously- I love it; though really, considering Ed's interests, it'd probably be a well fitted out and stretched APC rather than a Winnebago. I do love it that his own arrogance and ignorance brought about Draco's ultimate downfall; Harry's personal life made a nice, low-key counterpoint to the main thread.
Author's response- Honestly, I thought about giving Ed an APC, but thought that having him trying to paralell park a Winnebago in the alley cracked me up.