It's a Kind of personal story. Read if you want. Oneshot.
I looked around my room and felt scared. I felt like there was some kind of presence in my room (demons, maybe?) and I started to pray
God please protect me… I thought out and then stopped. I haven’t been close to god or religion for a while now, hell, I’m not even sure if I believe in god anymore. So, even if there was one why would he protect me? Is he up there watching me, does he know how I feel, and does he just not care?
Holy shit…I’m going to die and go to hell. That’s why I can’t stay calm right now. This is punishment for what I’ve done wrong, this is a sign…But why me? People have done worse things than me. There have been people that have killed and they don’t go through stuff like this, or do they? I don’t really know. Maybe I really am dying.
I put my hand over my heart and feel my heart beat quicken along with my breath. What if this really is my last moment alive? What if Dad and Gerard wake up to find me dead here? I’m going to die and no one is going to know what’s happening…
There was some music playing on the radio when I fell to sleep last night. Now there was a paid program lady talking about Dementia and Alzheimer’s. I tried to listen to what she was saying, so that I could have something to concentrate on and steady my breath. “You need to steady your life. If you’ve always hated your mom, or if you’ve never been able to trust anyone, it increases your chances of becoming mentally ill with dementia.” As she went over the details of what dementia of old age was, I felt myself panic even more. I was always angry, even at people that I didn’t even know. I didn’t even try to get along with anyone, and I don’t think I trusted anyone besides my brother. I’m going to be mentally ill. I am mentally ill! Look at me I need some medication…I wanted to go get some water or something but I couldn’t get out of bed because I felt frozen and like there was something that wouldn’t allow me to get up.
There’s someone standing outside of my room I thought to myself as I looked out at the shadows outside of my room.
“No there’s not, it’s just the bookshelf or something” I tried to convince myself
Then why does it look like it has hands?
“Mikey stop acting like such a three year old! Look at you! You know, 3 year olds are scared of things that are in the shadows of their house. Stop it! It’s Fucking Pathetic and you know it!”
I said to myself.
I think I saw something else in the hallway. It was some weird undefined shape that resembled a ladder. I started breathing quicker. I want to yell out to my brother for help, but my voice felt like it was caught up in my throat. I thought about running to Gerard’s room but I still couldn’t get out of bed. At this point I was having a hard time breathing at all and I had the same thought running through my head. You’re going to die and burn in hell, you’re going to die!
I’m not sure how much time passed but it had to have been a few minutes. I started thinking to myself Just make it through the night. Soon enough it will be daylight and you’ll be fine, you’ll see. Just then Gerard came into the room and found me rolled up in a ball on my bed. He picked me up and held on to me as I cried.
“It happened again?” I shook my head yes. “Maybe you need to get some help…” He said leaving the statement hanging in the air.
I didn’t say anything. I just held onto him for dear life until the sun came up, and when It did I breathed a sigh of relief. I had made it through another night.
A/N- Okay, well you can laugh at my insanity now. Well I’m not really sure if this was something that Mikey actually went through but maybe he did. This is more of something that I felt that I needed to write, my sister thought it might help me out, so here’s hoping. You can review if you’d like but you don’t have to, some constructive criticism would be cool.