A collection of Yu-Gi-Oh! short stories, mostly humor. Most of the stories include the Kaiba brothers.
Duel Deck: Deck I
Card 01: Kitty Love And Kitty Heartbreak
(Parenthesis) represent the point of view of the cats, which humans cannot understand.
(For the last 45 minutes my master has been standing on the exact same spot. His sister is talking about a rock with strange drawings on it. The rock is behind glass. Maybe that's actually her scratching post and she's upset because she can't get to it. I think my master is starting to fall asleep; listening to his sister always makes him sleepy, she must be very good at lullabies.)
(I remember when my mother sang to me at an animal city in Egypt but then master's sister took me away from my mother and siblings. I was scared at first, she said I was a birthday gift and put me in a box. It was so scary; I was just a kitten at the time. Master saved me, he got me out of the box and hugged me, he's so nice! I love my master!)
"Marik, pay attention this is a very important artifact!" Ishizu tried to keep her brother awake during her boring speech about Ancient Egypt. "There are things that every Ishtar must know. Now come, I must show you a few new artifacts that I recovered during my latest trip back to Egypt." Marik wondered why she called them artifacts and not rocks or hieroglyphics or something. Then again, he named his sphinx cat Mr. Fluffy. Ishizu stopped in front of a large door, she unlocked it but before opening it she turned around and looked at her brother. "The cat waits here."
(No! The evil sibling of my master is trying to separate us again! First she takes me away from my mother, then she puts me in a box, and now she is trying to take my master away from me! No! Master put me on the cold floor of the 'must-eat-you' I think that's what humans call this place. But now I'm not a defenseless kitten anymore, I shall go find master!)
The hairless tan sphinx cat with green eyes, ran after Marik only to be hit by the door as it was being closed by Ishizu. Of course he didn't give up; he tried to find another way to get to his master. However, he ended up going outside of the museum and getting lost in Domino city.
xoxox xox xoxox
In Kaiba Corp. Seto was working as usual when a fangirl came running into his office at the top floor Kaiba Corp. "Hi Bishie-kun! I brought you a present because you're the cutest, sweetest, nicest, yummiest bishie in the universe!" Seto blinked and stared at the odd girl. "Sorry I can't stay for too long, I promised Puzzle Boy I would help him take care of the game shop, anyway here's your gift!" Before Seto could say anything, and definitely before the fact that there was a cat sitting in his deck clawing at his important papers sunk it, the girl had already left.
Seto sat there in silence for a few seconds until the current situation sunk in. "My papers!" He quickly picked up the cat and placed her on the carpet covered floor. It was a very cute female white cat with blue eyes and fur so soft it made you want to pet her. In other words she was too cute to stay mad at. Seto petted the cat on the head and grabbed a blank sheet of paper from his desk. He made a paper ball and gave it to the cat. Soon the cat was happily playing with the paper ball and Seto was typing on his computer.
xoxox xox xoxox
(Where am I? I went too far. I don't think master's here. I better go back but I don't know the way and I can't ask for directions. The cats around here are different, they're all hairy. They're so mean to me! I wish master was here. He would defend me from those mean hairy cats, he says I'm cute. From this day on, all hairy cats will be my enemies! Hey there's a big building. If I go to the top of it I'll see the entire city and I'll be able to tell which way master is, he must be worried.)
xoxox xox xoxox
Meanwhile, at the museum Marik was crying and pointing his finger at Ishizu. "It was your fault he ran away! You where always mean to him!"
"Don't point at me Marik! Don't forget I gave you that cat in the first place. Actually I gave it to you because I couldn't afford anything better and I'm starting to regret being so cheap." Ishizu had a headache by now, from listening to his brother complaining about his beloved missing cat.
"So you admit it? You never loved him!" Marik ran out of the museum to search for Mr. Fluffy, ignoring Ishizu who kept yelling at him to stop.
xoxox xox xoxox
At Kaiba Corp. the employees where going crazy trying to catch a sphinx cat that snuck in. Their boss would not be happy if he saw the cat, and it looked as if the cat wanted to reach the top floor. Of course, since cats don't really know how elevators work he just used the stairs making it a lot harder for the employees to keep up; after all, they came to work to sit in front of computers, not to run after rampaging cats.
xoxox xox xoxox
Seto had been working for three hours in his office and needed a break. For once, he actually admitted he needed to rest, but only to himself, to the point that he waited for his new cat to fall asleep in a corner of his office before he went to get his snack. Where there are humans, there are vending machines.
By the time Seto returned, he saw three of his soon to be ex-employees in his office. "You, you and you! You're all fired!" Without giving them a chance to explain, Seto made them get out of his office and closed the door. It was a company rule that if the unauthorized foot came in contact the inferior side, commonly known as floor, of the inside of the boss's working area, usually referred to as his office, the owner of said foot would immediately became unemployed. To put it in simple terms, as Seto would say: "Set foot in my office without permission and you're fired!"
What Seto didn't know was that those employees, who where now being dragged outside by security, were only trying to get rid of the sphinx cat that managed to get in. Seto dropped his half finished bag of Cheetos on his desk and was about to resume his typing when he noticed that his fingers where orange and decided to finish his Cheetos before washing his hands, because otherwise his fingers would just become orange again.
Maybe the cat was hungry, he looked at her and saw that she was still sleeping but there was another cat there, a strange cat whose green eyes where looking right at his cat. "Hey you, who ever you are! Stop staring at Blue Eyes White Dragon... I mean Blue Eyes White Cat like that! Yes, you, are you listening to me?"
(I've never seen such a beautiful cat in my life. I take back what I said about all hairy cats being my enemies. I like her even if she's not of my kind. Maybe I should go say hello-ow! What's this? It's a small orange object. It smells like cheese and it hit me on the head! Ow! Another cheese smelling small orange object hit me on the head! It's that human, he's the one throwing those small orange objects that smell like cheese at me, he's so mean! Hey! He's going to get that cute cat. Oh, no he picked her up, I have to save her! Wait a minute... She seems to be happy that the human picked her up. Maybe that's her master.)
Seto placed his cat on the desk, picked up the green eyed, tan sphinx cat and exited his office. He pointed at a random employee and yelled, "you're fired!" Security immediately dragged the recently fired man outside. He then pointed at a secretary who was typing on a computer at the other side of the room. "You!"
The secretary jumped in surprise and accidentally swallowed her bubblegum, almost choking in the process. "Am I fired too?" Before Seto could answer she started crying.
"Actually I wasn't going to fire you, I was just going to ask you to take this sad excuse for a cat outside, but since I don't like crybabies when you take the cat outside you can stay there because you're fired!" Seto dropped the cat in her desk and walked away.
Time and again Mr. Fluffy managed to get to the top floor of Kaiba Corp. with at least half the total employees chasing him, but none fast enough to catch him. He had temporarily forgotten his master and thought only of his lady. However, when he got to the door behind which his beautiful cat lady awaited, it was always closed and he could not open it without the help of a human.
Of course no human except his master ever helped him, so he had no choice but to keep running, make the humans follow him, lead them away, and run back with hopes of finding door open next time. Those hopes would be crushed by the cruel realty, the door was closed and that was not all, his lady's master hated him, as did every human he met except his master.
Finally at lunch time, the employees where so tired of chasing Mr. Fluffy and so behind in their work for the same reason, that they went back to their respective desks and worked on their respective computers. Seto left to have lunch with Mokuba in his mansion, due to return in an hour. As Seto walked outside with his new cat in his arms, his mood improved when he saw all the employees working. Maybe lunch wasn't a must for them; he had to seriously consider eliminating the lunch hour.
As Seto got on his limousine, Mr. Fluffy, who had gone outside, noticed he had a chance to try to talk to his lady again. But before he could, someone very familiar picked him up.
(Master! My master found me! But my lady... I didn't get to talk to her.)
Marik and Seto did not notice each other's presence. Before the limousine's door closed, Blue Eyes White Cat threw the paper ball she had been playing with earlier at Mr. Fluffy. He caught it and thought he saw her smile before the limousine drove away. This was goodbye, for they could never be together. She was destined to live in a mansion, eating caviar, hearing from everyone who saw her how cute she is, and always being loved by all who ever laid eyes on her kitty cuteness.
Sadly, he was destined to live in a must-eat-you, I mean a museum, eating regular cat food, hearing he's ugly from the neighborhood cats, hearing he's annoying from his master's sister and hearing he's cute only from his master, being truly loved only by his master. But that was all Mr. Fluffy needed, Marik, his lucky paper ball, and the memory of his first kitty love and kitty heartbreak.
Card 02: Lights, Camera, Cut!
Our next story begins in Seto's private studio where they are filming his next duel disk TV commercial. Seto Kaiba, CEO of Kaiba Corp. and creator of the duel disk had instructed the director to find someone to appear in the ad holding the duel disk and talking about it with a videogame like background. It was a simple yet informative ad and given the fact that most people were already obsessed with KC products, getting more sales would be that easy.
The director thought it would be best to hire some kind of celebrity for the commercial thinking that it would catch people's attention. So he hired a well known very famous music diva.
Seto was inspecting everything at the last minute to make sure they were ready. He stopped in front of the diva and stared ahead. "Beautiful."
"Why thank you Mr. Kaiba or Seto if I may call you that," she a squeaky voice, anyone could easily tell was edited for her songs. "You know Seto-chan after this is over we could-" But before the ditz, I mean the diva could finish, Seto had walked pass her and picked up the duel disk that would appear on TV, which was sitting on a chair that had the word 'assistant' written on the back.
"You beautiful piece of technology! You're the most beautiful duel disk I ever saw!" Seto spoke to the duel disk as he hugged it. Beside the assistant's chair, there was a chair with the word 'director' on the back. On that chair sat five-hundred pounds of human meat known as 'Mr. Director' as he told everyone else to call him. Standing next to him was a younger thin man, holding the director's drink. This poor man that got bossed around by the director was the assistant, whom everyone called 'Assistant'.
Seto did not notice the assistant and as hard as it may seem, nor did he notice the director, for he was too busy cuddling his duel disk and staring at it adoringly as if it was a cute newborn baby. Well, to him it was his baby. Seto carried the disk and gently placed it on a chair in the makeup area.
The makeup artist who was also hired by the director, was a creepy guy with lime green hair and purple eye shadow. Of course when Seto saw such a creature he immediately picked up his duel disk and held it protectively. "Who are you?"
"I'm the make-up artist!" Said the creepy guy with lime green hair and purple eye shadow. Before Seto could say anything, he was lost in a cloud of face powder. He coughed but before the creepy makeup artist could put any more make-up on him, he managed to run away with his duel disk.
Still a little dizzy from all the powder he breathed, Seto didn't watch where he was going and bumped into the ditz, aka the diva, and dropped his duel disk. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine, it's so nice of you to worry about me, Seto-chan," the diva winked but Seto didn't even notice because he was talking to the duel disk.
"Oh good, you're not hurt," he hugged the duel disk. "It's ok Otousan is right here."
Just as Seto was about to go find the director to complain about the make-up artist, the diva positioned herself directly in front of him. "Ehem!"
"Who are you?" Seto noticed her for the first time and again held his baby, I mean his duel disk, closer to protect it from this stranger, never better said because she was really strange.
"I am-" Seto interrupted her. "Never mind I know what you're looking for."
"Really?" She assumed who knows what... and who would want to know what goes on in her tiny brain?
"Just use that door there, then take the next right turn, keep going and turn left on the third entrance, then right twice and you're there." Seto walked away. Where do those directions lead? To the Domino city public pool of course. Where else would you send a girl wearing something that could pass for a bikini?
The diva's tiny brain did all it could to analyze and interpret this information. You could almost see smoke coming out of her ears because her tiny brain was over heating. Finally she concluded with a headache that those where directions and made a mental note, which her low IQ would soon make her forget, to hire someone to think for her.
The diva then used the door Seto had pointed to and found herself out of the studio. She tried hard not to forget the directions but ended up getting lost and arriving at the Game Shop where Téa was stalking Yugi, and poor Yugi was helplessly hiding behind his grandpa. Joey and Tristan were knocked out on the floor, they became dizzy and fainted after Téa kept going on and on in an endless speech about friendship.
Téa squealed when she saw the diva and immediately complimented her outfit. Of course Téa wanted the same outfit, something that Yugi thought that looked creepy enough on this girl and it would look even creepier on Téa.
By now the diva had forgotten Seto's directions due to her small brain and even smaller IQ and started arguing with Téa telling her that she could not have an outfit like hers because she wasn't thinner than a toothpick. Téa got mad and immediately jumped on the diva. The two creepy girls fought as Yugi and his grandpa took the opportunity to run away and take refuge in Duke's game shop, leaving the unconscious Joey and Tristan exposed to the dangers of the fight.
xoxox xox xoxox
At the studio, Seto was yelling at the top of his lungs at the director for hiring the creepy make-up artist. He had placed the duel disk on the assistant's chair again and Seto's cat, a cute female white cat with blue eyes called Blue Eyes White Cat, who was given to him by a fan girl, had cuddled the duel disk and was currently taking a nap.
The assistant had gotten away from the mean old director that always stole his lunch and was playing with the camera. The camera man had been fired earlier because he was one point three seconds late and since Seto had not fired anyone that day, he used that as an excuse. After all, Seto had a reputation to maintain, if he stopped firing people, his employees may start to slack off or will become less stressed then him. He could not allow this; his employees stress level must always be higher than his own, it was in the company rules.
By accident, the assistant activated the camera and Seto's network took over all the TV channels in the world, broadcasting live how Blue Eyes White Cat slept on the duel disk.
xoxox xox xoxox
In the Ishtar's museum, Marik was preparing a salad for his cat Mr. Fluffy, whom he was determined to turn into a vegetarian. Mr. Fluffy is a tan sphinx cat, meaning he is hairless, and has green eyes. Marik happily placed the cat's dish full of salad on the couch where Mr. Fluffy was sitting looking at the TV Marik had turned on for him.
"Go on Mr. Fluffy, eat up!" Marik smiled, Ishizu didn't want him to let his cat sit on the furniture, let alone eat on, it but she was out shopping so it didn't matter.
Mr. Fluffy ignored the salad and his master, and just stared at the TV. That cat, that beautiful cat, it was her! He remembered his first and only love, Blue Eyes White Cat. Mr. Fluffy remembered when he snuck into Kaiba Corp after getting separated from his master and there he saw her for the first time. But they lived in different worlds, she was Seto's cat and he was Marik's cat, they couldn't be together, or could they? Mr. Fluffy wouldn't give up, he ran off to find his beloved. Marik saw his cat jump out the window, panicked and started running after him. "Mr. Fluffy come back! I'll let you eat meat again! Don't run away!"
Mr. Fluffy, being as smart as he is, had learned his way around the city by now. He made it a point to know his way around after he got lost the first time, so he knew how to get to the KC studio. On their way to the studio Marik, who was still chasing Mr. Fluffy, saw Bakura carrying a large briefcase. "Marik! Look at this!"
"Not now! My cat is running away and-" Bakura opened the briefcase and Marik fell silent for a few seconds before squealing in happiness. "Bakura! Where did you get all those eye liners?"
"I stole them from a weird guy with lime green hair and purple eye shadow that was chasing Kaiba around his studio." Bakura and Marik sat in a bench in the park to play with the eyeliners.
xoxox xox xoxox
Mr. Fluffy arrived at the studio and jumped on the chair next to Blue Eyes White Cat waking her up. She meowed happily and he meowed back and soon they started a kitty conversation. That's when Seto finally stopped screaming at the director and noticed that the little red light on the camera was on. This means everyone had been watching his cat and another cat sitting on his duel disk with his yelling in the background. Wait, who was that cat? "Hey you! Stay away from my Blue Eyes White Cat!"
Just as Seto picked up his cat, Marik arrived at the studio, he had remembered his cat and told Bakura they could play with the eyeliners later. "Mr. Fluffy!" Marik picked up his own cat as well. Seto and Marik looked at each other for a few seconds, then at the cats. For a minute the cats hoped and wished that their masters would let them be together, but they had no such luck. "Tell your hairball/baldball to stay away from my Mr. Fluffy/Blue Eyes White Cat!" They both yelled at the same time, pointing at each other's cats.
Marik returned home and promised Mr. Fluffy that he wouldn't try to turn him into a vegetarian anymore. Téa for once won the fight and threw the diva in the nearest trash can, then she ran off to celebrate by dancing with Johnny. Everyone who saw the 'commercial' thought that the tragic story of two cats being separated by their masters was too cute, especially Blue Eyes White Cat who is irresistibly cute, and so Kaiba Corp's sales went up putting Industrial Illusions out of busyness for good. Pegasus then followed literally Gozaburo's steps and jumped out a window.
The director was fired and the assistant was promoted to director. The weird guy with lime green hair and purple eye shadow realized that his precious collection of eyeliners have been stolen and also jumped out a window. Gozaburo returned in the form of a computer virus and sued Pegasus and the make-up artist for coping him. Not being able to handle the lawsuit they jumped out windows again and somehow ended up landing in the Shadow Realm and staying there, because no one dies they always get sent to the Shadow Realm.
All in all it was a happy ending; that is, not counting the cats... Will Seto and Marik ever put their differences aside for the good of their feline friends or will those two cats never have a future together?
Card 03: Deleted
Seto Kaiba's Point of View
I arrive in my office early as I do everyday, but today is not like every day. Today is a Sunday, my day off and I promised Mokuba I would spend the day with him, but I can't. Mokuba's disappointment is due to a mistake caused by an employee that I have already fired.
Such a mistake appeared so simple, yet it was very complicated, more than anyone would ever imagine, and the worse part is that it had grave consequences. Kaiba Corporation had many customers but even one can make the difference. This one did. After this customer stopped making business, Kaiba Corporation's sales went steadily down.
Everyone heard the news. Yugi said that it would be okay, that things would get better. Joey, the mutt tried to say something mean but Yugi told him to be nice. Téa tried to cheer me up with a friendship speech, which obviously didn't help.
What was I doing in the Game Shop in the first place? I really don't want to think about that. Kaiba Corporation had been doing so badly I had to do business with them, no one else would do business with Kaiba Corp. Obviously this didn't happen from night to morning. This took time and happened slowly. So slowly that I did not notice it until it was too late.
I thought that I could bring Kaiba Corp. back to the top by adding more employees who worked harder. Some said I was forgetting the laws of decreasing revenues but I didn't listen. Things got worse and many employees quit. To think this started because of that one customer was upset. No one liked Kaiba Corp. anymore and no one would buy our products.
The base of a company are the customers. If they don't buy, the company is put out of business. I should have given them more importance. Now I know I made a lot of mistakes in the past. Many other businesses I took advantage of could have saved Kaiba Corp. from its sad and pitiful demise, but they refused and I can't blame them.
So here I am in my office at 5:00 in the morning. Mokuba is upstairs. He heard me get up and I had to tell him I needed to work. He's sleeping now. This is my new home, my mansion is gone and that big building that once proudly stood in the center of Domino City is also gone. The structures still stand but, they are not mine, I had no choice but to sell them and they have been turned into something very different from what they used to be.
Here I am with an old name and a new start. This isn't even a corporation anymore, it's just a little shop. It's on the same street as Yugi and Duke's shops are. Many people change their business name after something goes wrong, but I won't. Kaiba Corporation used to produce weapons and I changed it into a game company under the same name. Now under the same name, I will once again have a new start, this time the right way, paying close attention to the details and not getting too over confident.
Speaking of important things, I save my work and turn off my laptop computer. I said I was going to do this the right way and I will. I will not ignore important details. I realize I almost did. One broken promise can mean a lot. I've been typing for hours and its now 9:00 in the morning, I'm sure Mokuba will wake up soon and I want to have his breakfast ready so I can spend the day with him like I promised.
For now I'll just take the day off, but tomorrow I'll work on my goal again. The name of Kaiba Corporation will one day mean something important again. I will not give up, Kaiba Corp. will not be forgotten, it will not be deleted.
End of Seto's POV
Card 04: Kuriboh
Seto Kaiba typed in his computer at an inhuman speed. The codes he was typing looked very complicated but he remembered them easily. He smiled at himself. "What a great programmer I am, and hot too." He would have continued to complement his perfection if not for the fact that he heard something tapping on the window from outside.
Maybe it was the guy that cleaned the windows who was falling to his doom and had managed to grab on to the window at the last moment and now Seto had to save his life. "Nah, let him fall I'm busy," but the tapping on the glass window behind him persisted to the point where it became an annoyance to the CEO.
Seto spun around in his nice expensive chair and faced the window. He stared at the source of the taping noise in surprise. "Kuriboh?" He was in disbelief, there floated a Kuriboh near his window. He thought he had been staring at the computer screen for too long and this was all an illusion, but he had to know for sure.
Seto opened the window and the little Kuriboh floated inside and immediately headed to the corner of the office furthest away from Seto. Seto blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes but the little Kuriboh did not disappear. He closed the window and walked over to the little Duel Monster. Was it real? He patted it on the head gently and felt soft fur. The Kuriboh purred when it was petted.
"This can't be, Duel Monster's aren't real!" This was really starting to bother him. How could he successfully manage a multi-billionaire company if he was having strange hallucinations? While Seto freaked out, the Kuriboh floated around the office happily.
"Poo! Poo!" This Kuriboh was a girl and she had been literally kicked out of the Shadow Realm by the other Kuriboh because she did not explode on contact.
In fact she couldn't explode at all, which made her defenseless and according to the other Duel Monsters useless. So far in her journey in this strange and unknown dimension, a kid threw a rock at her and a woman hit her with a broom when she tried to hide from the kid in her house. Everyone had been mean to her in some way, but this nice young man had welcomed her to his home in the pretty big concrete mountain and he petted her.
"Poo! Poo!" The Kuriboh happily flew to Seto and tried to hug him.
He took the Kuriboh and looked at her. "I need a vacation," Seto was still thinking he was imagining this.
"Poo!" How wonderful not only did this human welcome her, but he was taking her out for a walk too, how nice of him.
Seto grabbed his briefcase and exited his office with the Kuriboh following. Of course, he was pretending he didn't see her so his employee wouldn't think he was crazy and get the idea that they could be five seconds late without being fired. He stopped in from of the secretary's desk. "Cancel all my appointments for today Miss Hino."
Rei Hino, Seto's secretary was a young girl with long black hair and purple eyes. She looked up from her computer and replied. "Yes, Mr. Kai-" she didn't finish.
"What?" Seto asked.
"Don't move," Mss Hino then proceeded to open her desk drawer and take out a peace of paper with some Japanese symbols on it. She held the paper in front of her face and began to chant. The paper became solid in her hand and it glowed red then Seto did what he was told not to do, he moved.
Seto tried to look behind him to figure out what the secretary saw that made her act this way, but at that instant Rei threw the paper in the Kuriboh's direction and since Seto moved, it hit him instead. Scared the Kuriboh flew away and hid in the elevator, while Seto fell on the floor completely knocked out.
"Mr. Kaiba!" Rei quickly removed the paper from his face. "I'm so sorry I was trying to hit that creature!" With some quick thinking, Rei found a solution to her problem and picked up a glass of water from her desk, she then emptied the glass on Seto's face and surely that woke him up.
"Are okay, Mr. Kaiba?" Rei asked trying to sound as if she had noting to do with this.
"Huh? What? Yes..." Seto got up and tried to remember what happened. The last thing he remembered was seeing that Kuriboh following him, but it wasn't around now.
"You got dizzy and fainted. You've been working too hard." Rei hoped he didn't remember about the magical paper she threw at him.
"Okay... like I said, cancel my appointments for today and for tomorrow. I won't be coming to work, but if anyone asks I'm in my office very busy." It was bad enough for our dear workaholic that he admitted he needed to rest, but his employees didn't need to know.
"I understand" Rei returned to her work.
Seto got in the elevator where his new friend happened to be hiding and yelled when he saw her. The Kuriboh got scared again and attached herself to Seto's coat. Seto spun around looking for the Kuriboh but she was on his back. The elevator reached the first floor and the doors opened for everyone to see Seto Kaiba spinning around like an idiot inside the elevator. As soon as he noticed people were staring at him, he tried to act normal.
"Do you think he lost his mind?" An employee whispered to another.
"He even has a Kuriboh plushie on his back he lost it alright," the other employee agreed.
"This has been a test to see how easily you get distracted from your work," Seto quickly made up an excuse. "You're all fired!"
"He fired us," employee number one, who is not important enough to have a name, spoke.
"I guess he didn't go insane after all, that's the boss alright," the equally unimportant employee number two agreed.
Seto's limousine was waiting for him outside as usual. The driver, who treated Seto like the king of the universe, held the door open and couldn't help it but to give Seto a strange look when he saw the Kuriboh he had on his back.
Once inside the limo, the Kuriboh hoped off Seto on to the seat next to him. It was a good idea to stay still and close to her new best friend. He got her to safety, he's just so nice.
"Home," the limo started moving at Seto's command. That's when the CEO looked at the little Duel Monster, jumped when he saw her and hit his head on the limo's roof.
"Poo!" The Kuriboh cheered happily, her friend was funny too.
Seto looked away and closed his eyes. "Stop!" He yelled and the driver immediately hit the breaks thinking Seto was talking to him. "Don't follow me!" Seto screamed at the top of his lungs.
"Sir?" The driver was really confused now.
"Go away and never return!" For a moment the Kuriboh thought Seto was talking to her, but then she saw a man get out of the limo and start running, so she concluded that Seto was just trying to scare away that stranger to protect her.
"Poo! Poo! Poo! Poo!" The Kuriboh tried to thank Seto for taking such good care of her.
Seto sighed and tried to calm down. "For a figment of my imagination you can sure be noisy." He petted the Kuriboh again wondering if it still felt real, it did. "Why did you stop?" He asked this time talking to the driver, but there was no answer. He looked out the window and saw a man running away and disappearing into the distance.
"Kaiba?" Yugi's voice was heard and that's when Seto realized that he had stopped in front of the Game Shop.
"You have found it, the Kuriboh," Shadi was there as well. Shadi told them the sad story about a Kuriboh that couldn't explode, so the others kicked her out of the Shadow Realm. "They will not allow her back, so I was thinking of keeping her. However, she likes you best, so I grant you permission to keep her and with that, the responsibility to make sure she doesn't end up in some science lab with people who think she's an alien, goodbye."
"Wait!" Seto tried to stop Shadi, but he was already gone.
"He has a bad habit of disappearing," Yugi commented.
That is how Seto got his pet Kuriboh, which Mokuba later named 'Kupo' after a moogle.
Card 05: Kaiba Cookies
For the past ten minutes Seto has been studying the book in his hands carefully. You'd think it's a book about technology, duel monsters or anything like that, but no one would guess it was a cooking book. Mokuba sat on the kitchen counter waiting impatiently for his brother to finish, but I'm sure you're all wondering why Seto is reading a cooking book.
It all started a few days ago in the middle of a very important meeting when Mokuba came running in complaining that Seto had promised to spend time with him. Little Mokuba finally had enough and wasn't going to let his big brother off with the usual 'I'm busy we'll spend time together tomorrow' excuse. There and then, in front of all the executives, Seto had to promise to spend the afternoon of the next Sunday with Mokuba and do whatever he wanted. It turns out everyone thought it was so cute that it was actually a good thing that it happened, and business went well.
That brings us to the present, Mokuba wanted cookies, but they had to be made by Seto. Who knows what made Mokuba think of this 'cruel and unusual' punishment for his beloved older brother, but the thing is, he wouldn't change his mind. "Big brother!"
Seto looked up from his reading. "What?"
"Are you done?" Mokuba smiled sweetly as he had the last hundred times he asked the same question and received the same answer.
"No, this looks complicated why don't we just buy the cookies?"
Mokuba then put all his effort in looking cute and gave Seto the 'chibi face' "Please! You promised!" Seto did the classic anime sweat drop and continued reading.
Time passed very slowly for Mokuba, until his brother finally decided to get started. "The first thing we should do is prepare the ingredients." Yes, I know. It took him almost an hour to come to that conclusion. Well he's a technology genius, not a chef.
The process happened rather uneventfully unless you count a twenty minute search all over the large kitchen as an event. That day Seto realized he hardly knew where anything was in his own kitchen.
To make this easier for the Kaiba brothers I could say that they by some miracle they had all the ingredients they needed, sorry guys no such luck today. Besides the story would be too short if they had everything now. So the Kaiba brothers set off on a journey to the super market. The limo got there rather quickly and they started searching for what they needed.
In the middle of their search, they spotted Yami and Yugi in the baby food section. "Can I have this?" Asked the former pharaoh holding a jar of banana flavored baby food.
"Yami that's baby food," Yugi pointed out.
"But it's so yummy!" Yami gave Yugi the chibi eyes look. If only Seto had a video camera right now.
The Kaiba brothers' journey continued and soon they heard another familiar voice. "C'mon Serenity, just one bag!" Seto and Mokuba hid behind a large pile of dog food bags and listened.
"No Joey, you really have to stop eating that stuff, it can't be healthy!" Serenity tried to take the dog food from Joey but he held it up away from her reach.
"It's healthy! It has protein!" Joey argued.
"It's made for dogs!" Serenity complained.
"I checked the ingredients and it had lots of things found in other foods people eat!" Joey obviously wasn't going to give up.
Serenity shook her head and sighed. "Fine, but you have to promise me you'll try to quit after this one." Another priceless moment that caught Seto without a video camera.
The Kaiba brothers found some of the items they needed, but they still had to find a few more things and if they're as bad as the authoress trying to find things in the super market, they might take a while to finish.
As they continued the search, they found Tea hitting Tristan on the head with a sign that advertised cheese. "Tristan you're not being friendly! I got this job at the super market and I was told to give only one sample to each customer, you can't eat them all!" Tea broke the sign on Tristan's head. "Now look what you did! You broke super market property. What if I get fired?" Now that the sign was broken, before Tea found something else to hit him with, Tristan made his escape. "Tristan, come back, I didn't mean to be unfriendly!" She was about to run after him but saw Seto and Mokuba. They realized they had been discovered and made a run for it.
Mokuba managed to get away but Tea grabbed Seto's anti-gravity coat and pulled it making him fall. "Let me help you up Kaiba and give you a sample of the great product I'm representing!"
When Seto tried to say 'no' Tea threw a cheese sample in his mouth and he immediately spat it out. How could Tristan eat this stuff? What kind of cheese was this? It certainly didn't taste like Cheetos, or pizza cheese, or any of those other good cheeses. It tasted horrible and it was stinky too.
"Kaiba, you have to eat it!" Tea protested and tried to make him swallow another sample. Seto wanted to get away but Tea wouldn't let go of his coat and he couldn't leave his precious gravity defying coat behind. It was like his signature, Seto must always have an anti-gravity coat; it's a part of what makes him Seto Kaiba.
While trying to force Seto to swallow the stinky, yucky cheese, Tea caught a glimpse of her watch and realized that she was supposed to be done giving out the samples by now. Her boss at the supermarket was expecting her in five minutes with a report on people's opinion on the cheese. Now she wished she had let Tristan eat them. "I have to finish handing out the samples, there's no time so you'll have to eat them all, okay?" Tea smiled and Seto thought he saw her eyes glow evilly before she reached for a handful of cheese samples and tried to make him eat them. He would have yelled for help, but he didn't want to risk opening his mouth. Seto kept trying to escape, but Tea tackled him and was determined to make him eat the stinky cheese samples.
Mai walked by, minding her own business when she saw Seto running around with Tea who wouldn't let go, trying to feed him cheese. She blinked and wondered why Seto was giving Tea a piggy back ride all over the supermarket. She thought about it and concluded that he must be drunk, or maybe she's drunk and he's just a poor victim who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The chase continued and when Seto thought he might have no choice but to swallow the yucky stinky cheese and live with the consequences, there was a loud noise like someone hitting someone else with a frying pan and Tea let go of him.
"This is a good frying pan!" Mako grinned victoriously at his find. "Now to pay for this and go fry some fish." The ocean lover walked away, leaving the knocked out Tea on the floor, much to Seto's relief.
After searching all over the large super market and missing each other many times, the Kaiba brothers were finally reunited. Mokuba spotted Seto at the other end of the aisle. "Seto!"
"Mokuba!" Mokuba and Seto ran to each other, everything went in slow motion until Seto slipped on some juice someone spilled on the floor. He quickly got up and pretended like it never happened.
Now that they were together again, the Kaiba brothers found the remaining ingredients they needed for the cookies, stood in line for an eternity, finally paid for everything, and went back home.
After a long messy process the kitchen looked like a disaster zone and the cookies were done. They let the cookies cool off, then they finally got to eat what caused them so much trouble.
So our story comes to a happy ending with delicious cookies... just kidding. The cookies didn't even taste like cookies they tasted worse than the stinky cheese and that's saying a lot. They were so hard you'd think they were magically replaced by rocks while in the oven. If Mokuba didn't know better, he would think his dear brother was trying to choke him to death.
"Sorry Mokuba, the cookies didn't turn out well," Seto stated the obvious.
"It's okay big brother, at least you tried," Mokuba smiled.
A week passed rather uneventfully, until one day Mokuba was back from school and smelled something like cookies. He ran to the kitchen and found that it was in an even bigger state of chaos than the first time they tried to bake cookies. They would seriously need a new kitchen after this.
"After school snack?" Seto, who was covered from head to toe in any and every cookie ingredient known to the human race, pointed at the cookies on the table.
Mokuba tried one of the cookies and it actually tasted great. "Yummy! They're great, did you make them?"
Seto nodded, "I finally got it right and I wouldn't break a promise to you." They enjoyed the yummy cookies, isn't this a sweet (pun intended) ending?
End of Deck I
Disclaimer, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, Sailor Moon, Final Fantasy Armitage: Duel Matrix, or Cheetos. The make-up dude in Card 02 is from Armitage: Duel Matrix. The character Mr. Fluffy in Cards 01 and 02 belongs to Laria Kaiba, used with permission. "Bishie" is short for "bishounen" which is a handsome man in Japanese. "Otousan" means father. Blue Eyes White Cat is my original character, however her name is based on the Blue Eyes White Dragon, which I don't own, only the cat is an OC. Card 03 was written in memory of all those good fanfics that were unfairly deleted from various archives. That hasn't happened to me but it has happened to many stories I liked. Rei from Sailor Moon makes a cameo apperance on Card 04 and Final Fantasy's moogles are mentioned.