(#) siledubhghlase 2009-06-03Don't use asides to the reader (anyway, back to the story). It detracts from your narrative. You need to find a beta--that is, a proofreader. Poor grammar makes a story very difficult and often uncomfortable to read; however, your content is very good.
I went and read the other "Tony Stark" story and I have to say I like this one better...so far.
Author's responsei dont have anyone to help me, so i did the best i can. thank you for your help
- Some good ideas but the first two-thirds of the chapter needs rewriting with more dialog driving things than straight narration; it works better to show the read rather than tell them - it's also way more "challenging". Still, you've got someunique elemsnts here and I'm going to be most interested in seeing hwo matters evolve.
(#) michae1ange1o 2009-06-04Very interesting story so far, I'm kinda baffled over the Goblet of fire book, but I guess it involves an interesting plotline in itself. The druid wedding I'm afraid was kinda boring, if I personaly was going to write in a wedding, I'd have just abrieviated it to the most important parts instead of the whole shebang. Keep up the good work.
- Only problem I have is this:
[quote]"FAVORITE story, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling"[/quote]
I thought this was a Harry Potter crossover with Iron Man.
So how can Harry's favorite book be one with him self as main character?
It might sound strange, but I rather see him read Treasure Island then that book.
Heck the only book close is Lord of the Ring, and that is way to heavy in writing style (for a kid).
So, is michae1ange1o right in it being a plot point?
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