Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Bushels of Bad Habits

This Moment

by TheBestFrigginShoes 10 reviews

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Published: 2009-07-02 - Updated: 2009-07-03 - 1728 words

I pulled away, feeling light-headed and dizzy. I had only kissed him briefly, but somehow even just that one short and simple action had caused an overwhelming tidal wave of emotions within me. I only pulled away very slightly – just enough so I could study his reaction. I could still feel his breath on my face. I liked being close to him.

His amazing eyes blinked at me – I suppose with surprise at my sudden, impulsive action. I hoped he didn't think it was unneccesary or something. I was aware he had only broken up with Jane a mere hour or so ago.

But then he did kiss me when he was still with her.

I shivered. The freezing cold air of a Vegas night isn’t an easy thing to ignore. ‘Are you ok?’ He asked softly, rubbing a hand up and down my arm. I couldn’t be sure whether the goose bumps which had arisen were because of him or the cold.

I glanced up at him and smiled ‘Yeah, it’s just a little chilly’ I admitted quietly – I was still a little breathless.

‘Oh’ He said, dropping his hands from me. ‘Here’

He shifted back and proceeded to remove the baggy hoodie he was wearing – pulling it over his head so that his hair was adorably ruffled as a result. He handed it to me with a broad and somewhat silly smile. ‘But, won’t you be cold?’ I asked, taking it from him hesitantly.

He shook his head ‘I’ll be fine’.

I didn’t really believe him, but I knew he would only insist if I refused. Besides, it was freezing and the soft material felt oh so warm. ‘Thank you’ I said, feeding my arms through and pulling it over my head. I tugged the bottom down and pulled my hair out. It was static and stuck to my face. I tittered as I tried to sweep it out of my eyes.

He reached a hand forward to help me; his fingers brushing lightly against my forehead. Once the strands of hair were no longer obscuring my view, I smiled up at him. He smiled back, a twinkle in his eye, and let his hand trail down from my hair so that it cupped my face.

His eyes bore into mine for a moment, and I feel jelly like – my limbs tingle, and I can’t but help let a small sigh escape.

And then I feel his soft lips on mine, and my heart in my throat, and my stomach doing somersaults and as if all the air in my body’s been knocked out of me.

I was kissing Ryan Ross.

It was so unlike anything I had ever experienced. I mean, sure, I had kissed boys before, but I’d never felt that... electricity... or that excitement! Or that odd but pleasant swelling sensation that happened inside of you that made it feel as if your body’s being flooded with a mixture of comforting warmth and anxious exaltation.

I’d never felt such so eager to be so close to someone; my hands found their way to his shoulders – then slid slowly up his neck. He had one arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him and I went more than willingly. There was something – like some sort of invisible force -- that compelled me towards him. Everything about him drew me in.

Our breathing was heavy and uneven when we parted. I felt weak and I was glad he didn’t let go of me. The hand that previously held my face now slunk down to rest against the other side of my waist. I let my arms slide down so that they rested upon his chest. I felt it rise and fall beneath me as we looked at each other. I felt his heart beating - or rather pounding against his ribs in a similar fashion to my own. Slightly transfixed, I gazed into his eyes with a strong urge to know what he was thinking.

‘You’re so beautiful’ He said softly.

A wide smile broke out on my face and my cheeks heated up in a peculiar contrast with the cold air. ‘I swear you’re the only person who has ever managed to make me blush.’ I said.

‘Really?’ He said, cocking an eyebrow ‘So all the times I’ve seen you blush – that was because of me?’

I nodded, laughing slightly in mild embarassment.

‘That’s... really cute.’ He said, grinning.

I smiled and ducked my head into his shoulder bashfully. I really wasn’t used to being bashful. At all.

I remained there for a moment, perfectly content, whilst he still held me, gently rubbing a hand up and down my arm (that was almost lost beneath the excess material of the hoodie). It was soothing and comforting. But there was something hanging over my head that made this feeling of bliss short-lived.

Eventually, I gently pulled away and looked up at him ‘Ryan’ I said quietly ‘What are we going to do?’

He shifted and cleared his throat ‘Well I was kind of thinking...’ He said, scratching his neck ‘we don’t really have to tell them straight away... do we? We could just tell them when we’re ready – or rather, when they’re ready. But if you wanted to just wait, before we, well did anything...’

‘I don’t think I can wait any longer’ I said immediately.

I really couldn't. A secret relationship was better than no relationship. That way everyone was happy right? No-one would get hurt, and Ryan and I could be together.

He sighed and smiled ‘Good’ He said, grazing my cheek with his hand ‘me neither.’

And so it was settled. There was something about the idea of having a secret relationship with Ryan Ross that thrilled me just a little. The impish grin that I failed to suppress reflected this, and Ryan chuckled softly, before moving in and planting his lips, swiftly, firmly upon my own. I smiled into the kiss, at the thought that there could be plenty more of them to come.
_ _ _

At some point during the evening -- after the kisses, the smiles, the sighs and the light laughter that danced between us in the silent, peaceful air – Ryan and I lead down side by side on our backs and simply star gazed.

I had never done it before. I was used to living in the middle of the city, where the fumes and the bright lights disguised the stars. I really never knew there were so many, or that they could be so bright. I voiced this to Ryan, who turned his head towards me and said ridiculously naturally; ‘Thousands of stars are in the sky, but you’re the one in front of my eye.’

It’s the type of line I would laugh at, if I saw it in a movie. But when he said it – or quite possibly recited it – I turned to pure goo and my cheeks ached painfully from the strain of trying to suppress the goofy grin that threatened to break out across my face.

It kind of felt like I was in a movie though. Nothing felt that real right now -- it was more like a realistic dream. I mean these things just don't really happen do they? Not outside movies or TV shows -- or books. They especially don't happen to me. I was just stupid, idiotic, reckless Steph Moore.

Or was I? Ever since I had moved to Vegas, something -- and I couldn't tell just what -- had changed within me. It felt like something had shifted somewhere inside me. New feelings and what had once been untouched emotions had been unearthed or something. And yhen I realised; maybe, it wasn't since I had moved to Vegas. Maybe... it was ever since I met him.

I turned my head towards him and moved forward to kiss him softly on the cheek, which he smiled at. I felt him take hold of my hand and our fingers laced together easily. I turned my head back to face the sky, still amazed at how stunning it looked.

‘It takes your breath away, doesn’t it?’ Ryan murmured.

‘Yeah’ I agreed.

And as I lead there, with my hand laced with Ryan’s, smelling the summer grass, listening to sound of the trickling stream and seeing the most beautiful night sky I had ever seen before, I knew that absolutely nothing in my life so far, could compare to this moment.

This took a long time, and I'm really, really sorry. I've been pretty busy. The only reason I finally managed to get this out is because on Tuesday I fell 10 feet into thorns and stinging nettles and I'm pretty beat up all over my body (bloody gashes on my legs arms and back, purple bruises on my legs, butt and head, thorn pricks in my wrists and hands, and my foot is swollen and black and I can't walk on it).

Which means the next update may be a lot quicker as well.

And also, that comments will make me feel better:) Ha.

I don't know if I like dedicating chapters to best reviewers anymore because I'm worried that people who leave good reviews think I don't care about their reviews because they don't have a chapter dedicated to them yet and this is not the case, so I might stop doing it.

But I dedicate this chapter to XxXBlackXxxXRoseXxX because it motivated me to get my butt in to gear and get this (probably dissapointing) update out.

By the way, I am on Mibba. I feel like telling you this now because Ficwad is messing up and it's been like abandoned by it's hosts or something and I'm worried that one day it'll just die.

This story is on my Mibba account, in a pretty layout, with pretty banners and things.

I will still post here. But if you don't already have Mibba, I suggest you get it. Add me as a friend, drop me a comment, and I'll direct you to a few of my fave patd fanfics on there.

It's be fun to actually chat with you guys.
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