- When you said "Sango," I'd been expecting the taijiya of manga or anime canon, but your char seems like an OC of the same name. Even if she's A/U, she should be the same character.
You could stand to do a better job of setting the scene. Is this Sango waking up in a house in a village in the sengoku jidai? In 1940's California? In 2014 in Japan?
A good grammar/punc beta would help a lot, but here's one point for now: Numbers that take two words or fewer to say, like seven and thirteen, should be written out.
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