Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Reprise of an Untitled Story
“Grande black coffee!”
“Thanks.” The barista barely nodded before turning away to fill another order. Gerard took an immediate sip of his drink, scalding his tongue. When he sat down, Egan fired off her first question like a bullet: What was he doing there?
“I thought,” he began,” That this was supposed to be a chance for me to talk to you. Not the other way around.” She pursed her lips and looked out the window, jiggling one foot like she had somewhere to be.
“What—what’re you…” her hand flitted nervously in the air, “Why are you in Tennessee Gerard?” He decided to answer; his questions could wait. She wasn’t going anywhere. She was much too curious for that, he knew.
“Vacation. I was going to look at houses along the south-eastern coast, thought I’d stop by Nashville and see the music scene. I’ve heard the local bands get pretty good down here.” Egan nodded, taking subtle pride in that. Of course they were good.
“Not looking for me?”
“No.” She nodded again. He noticed the way her jaw tightened around the place where it met her ear. “I wouldn’t ever do that Egan. I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that.”
“So this is just coincidence?”
“Yes.”
“You think I believe that?”
“I think that it’s the truth, take it or leave it. Better question is, do you really think I’d lie to you?” She didn’t answer, just traced patterns in the spilled sugar on the table top with a coffee stirrer. When it became apparent she wasn’t going to speak, he broke the silence with the question burning on his tongue.
“You have a daughter?” A terse nod. The music over the loud speakers changed to an old Colbie Caillat song.
“What’s that all about?” She shrugged like it was old news, which to her it was he supposed.
“Why does it matter to you?” For some reason, this question incensed him, and he leaned forward across the table to growl at her before realizing he had absolutely no good reason at all. He settled for mumbling the single, childish thing that came to mind.
“Because!”
“Yeah,” she met his eyes steadily, quietly, calmly, “But why?”
Because Egan was his, of course. Because not seeing her for five years didn’t change that. Because he’d never once heard from her after she left. Because a baby, an honest-to-God baby was a big fucking deal, and he’d never known. Because it wasn’t his baby, and he wanted it to be.
“You can’t lay claim to me anymore Gerard.” She chided softly.
“Whose is she?”
“My husband was her father.” His chair screeched as the legs ground against the hardwood.
“Have you fucking LOST IT?” Several patrons from surrounding tables turned when they heard the hoarsely shouted profanity. Egan, however, didn’t blink.
“Sit down,” she hissed through her teeth,” And shut up. Shut up!” Gerard obeyed out of nothing more than instinct. He shouldn’t make a spectacle, he shouldn’t draw attention to himself. He had to be quiet and inconspicuous. He faded out for a moment, processing the new information: She was married. All those things she said she’d never do…
“…A lot of good faith to even talk to you, after our history,” he heard her saying, and tuned back in, “And you’ve really got some balls for yelling at me over my life decisions, don’t you think?” He nodded along.
“I have my own life now.” She finished earnestly, “I’m not just someone else’s good deed for the day anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m a big girl now. I’m not under anyone’s thumb. No one pays me or my kid’s way but me, and that’s how I want it. Do you understand?”
“Ah…no?” He didn’t. He truly didn’t. Egan flicked some of the sugar granules she’d been playing with off the table top and wondered why what she was saying wasn’t penetrating this man’s incredibly dense, thick head.
“I mean,” she began patiently,” That now that you’ve found us—“
“I wasn’t looking for you!” She held up her hand for silence.
“I don’t want you to come marching through being all benevolent and giving and shit and trying to fix me or my kid or us as a dynamic, none of that. We’re fine. Go home.” Gerard was fuming. Positively smoking at the ears.
“You sure are something else,” he grit out, shaking his head. “You must be the most self centered person on the fucking earth. You’ve got to be! I did not,” he whipped the word like a lash, “Come looking for you. I need you to drop that notion right now, that’s bullshit. I found you. Accidentally.”
“And then followed me to my child’s daycare,” she murmured under her breath but he still caught it.
“Forgive me, I thought maybe I’d get a chance to catch up with an ex I haven’t seen in a long time, who I come to find out has a daughter. Believe me, if I had known that all that would come of me following you was to get berated in a Starbucks to a soundtrack of lite pop, I would have driven so fast in the other direction I would have shattered the sound barrier!”
“Forgive me,” she pushed back her chair, standing up and grabbing her purse from it’s resting place next to her seat, “For finding it creepy that an ex of mine just happens to show up where I come for coffee every morning with my daughter, then tails us—very poorly, I might add—all the way to her day care, then waits outside for me in front of my car!” She threw a couple of ones on the table and stalked out the door. “And I would have much rather you broken the stupid sound barrier! I mean, who even talks about that kind of geeky stuff?”
“SMART PEOPLE! THAT’S WHO TALKS ABOUT THAT KIND OF STUFF!” He hollered from the door. Catching sight of the money on the table top, Gerard grabbed the bills and followed her. She was already in her car and buckling when he hammered his fist on the window, waving around money with the other. She refused to roll down the window. When he gesticulated wildly, pointing downward, she shook her head in refusal and glared. He could almost see her pointing out her tongue at him, a petulant child.
“Egan! Roll down the window. Now!” She crossed her arms. “Now!”
Impatiently, she jabbed the window button, an ugly snarl on her face.
“What?” He shoved the cash at her.
“It’s a Starbucks. You don’t have to fucking tip. That’s just stupid.”
“It is called being polite!”
“It’s called being stupid. No one buses your table, the next schmuck that walks by can just take the money. And by the way, your independence speech in there was touching and I’m all for liberation from The Man, but let me tell you this: I never put you under my thumb. I never forced anything on you. I never tried to make use of our situation to get you to do as I said. Never. So I don’t know who you were railing against, but it wasn’t me.” He turned and walked away, all the while wondering how things could have gotten so bad, so fast. When they were together, he had thought things were good—not perfect, mind you, but he’d never asked for perfection. Then, suddenly, it was bad…And he’d thought they’d parted on somewhat civil terms. But now, seeing her here and fighting like that…He just wanted to know where the good things went wrong.
Somewhere in the back of his head he registered the slam of a car door, footsteps, a scuffling sound, the skittering of pebbles at his feet across the pavement. Then one of those pebbles hit him in the back of the head.
“The fuck…?” he demanded as he rubbed the nape of his neck and scanned the lot. He didn’t have to look far. A few feet away Egan stood in fighting stance, legs spread at shoulder width and more stones clutched in one miniscule white fist. She called something to him. He couldn’t hear what she said, but from the set of her face he could tell it was a question. He called back as he took a few steps toward her.
“What?”
“Do you hate me?” For a second, he wanted to say yes. Yes, YES, resoundingly yes.
“No. Why would you think that?” Now she was walking towards him too and they met in the middle, a few feet apart and just within speaking distance. It ached that they were only comfortable that far away from the other. His mind wandered once more to the huge discrepancy between what they had been and what they were.
“Because of what I’ve done.”
“What’ve you done?” She looked him dead in the eye.
“Everything I said I never would. Everything you wanted from me that I wouldn’t give you.”
And when she said that, said exactly what was on her mind, no bullshit, just straight shooting, she was Egan just like she had been five years ago. The one who would claim her stuff and own it. That girl he’d loved. Nothing had changed. They were them.
The illusion only lasted a few seconds and then it broke like a wave washing over him. She was not that girl. He was no longer in love. And it wasn’t her fault for moving on with her life. He couldn’t expect her to stay locked away in a tower like a princess. That wasn’t Egan.
“I can’t say it doesn’t hurt, but you don’t owe me anything. Explanations or otherwise.”
“Can we try again?” For a moment his heart thrilled in his chest, but then she seemed to realize what she’d said.
“Can we try talking again?” she clarified, and really, what had he expected? Of course that was what she meant. Of course.
Of course.
“Of course.”
She smiled.
Author's Note: I don't know how I feel about this chapter. It just kind of makes me look at it and go 'hmmm'. And also, when I first put this chapter up, I could see it but no one else. So I had to re-post and I just wasn't feeling the idea of going back through and bolding and italiscizing everything again, so try and picture where it should go. Better yet, tell me in a REVIEW where you think some really important placs to stress would be. Thanks, and love from me.
“Thanks.” The barista barely nodded before turning away to fill another order. Gerard took an immediate sip of his drink, scalding his tongue. When he sat down, Egan fired off her first question like a bullet: What was he doing there?
“I thought,” he began,” That this was supposed to be a chance for me to talk to you. Not the other way around.” She pursed her lips and looked out the window, jiggling one foot like she had somewhere to be.
“What—what’re you…” her hand flitted nervously in the air, “Why are you in Tennessee Gerard?” He decided to answer; his questions could wait. She wasn’t going anywhere. She was much too curious for that, he knew.
“Vacation. I was going to look at houses along the south-eastern coast, thought I’d stop by Nashville and see the music scene. I’ve heard the local bands get pretty good down here.” Egan nodded, taking subtle pride in that. Of course they were good.
“Not looking for me?”
“No.” She nodded again. He noticed the way her jaw tightened around the place where it met her ear. “I wouldn’t ever do that Egan. I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that.”
“So this is just coincidence?”
“Yes.”
“You think I believe that?”
“I think that it’s the truth, take it or leave it. Better question is, do you really think I’d lie to you?” She didn’t answer, just traced patterns in the spilled sugar on the table top with a coffee stirrer. When it became apparent she wasn’t going to speak, he broke the silence with the question burning on his tongue.
“You have a daughter?” A terse nod. The music over the loud speakers changed to an old Colbie Caillat song.
“What’s that all about?” She shrugged like it was old news, which to her it was he supposed.
“Why does it matter to you?” For some reason, this question incensed him, and he leaned forward across the table to growl at her before realizing he had absolutely no good reason at all. He settled for mumbling the single, childish thing that came to mind.
“Because!”
“Yeah,” she met his eyes steadily, quietly, calmly, “But why?”
Because Egan was his, of course. Because not seeing her for five years didn’t change that. Because he’d never once heard from her after she left. Because a baby, an honest-to-God baby was a big fucking deal, and he’d never known. Because it wasn’t his baby, and he wanted it to be.
“You can’t lay claim to me anymore Gerard.” She chided softly.
“Whose is she?”
“My husband was her father.” His chair screeched as the legs ground against the hardwood.
“Have you fucking LOST IT?” Several patrons from surrounding tables turned when they heard the hoarsely shouted profanity. Egan, however, didn’t blink.
“Sit down,” she hissed through her teeth,” And shut up. Shut up!” Gerard obeyed out of nothing more than instinct. He shouldn’t make a spectacle, he shouldn’t draw attention to himself. He had to be quiet and inconspicuous. He faded out for a moment, processing the new information: She was married. All those things she said she’d never do…
“…A lot of good faith to even talk to you, after our history,” he heard her saying, and tuned back in, “And you’ve really got some balls for yelling at me over my life decisions, don’t you think?” He nodded along.
“I have my own life now.” She finished earnestly, “I’m not just someone else’s good deed for the day anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m a big girl now. I’m not under anyone’s thumb. No one pays me or my kid’s way but me, and that’s how I want it. Do you understand?”
“Ah…no?” He didn’t. He truly didn’t. Egan flicked some of the sugar granules she’d been playing with off the table top and wondered why what she was saying wasn’t penetrating this man’s incredibly dense, thick head.
“I mean,” she began patiently,” That now that you’ve found us—“
“I wasn’t looking for you!” She held up her hand for silence.
“I don’t want you to come marching through being all benevolent and giving and shit and trying to fix me or my kid or us as a dynamic, none of that. We’re fine. Go home.” Gerard was fuming. Positively smoking at the ears.
“You sure are something else,” he grit out, shaking his head. “You must be the most self centered person on the fucking earth. You’ve got to be! I did not,” he whipped the word like a lash, “Come looking for you. I need you to drop that notion right now, that’s bullshit. I found you. Accidentally.”
“And then followed me to my child’s daycare,” she murmured under her breath but he still caught it.
“Forgive me, I thought maybe I’d get a chance to catch up with an ex I haven’t seen in a long time, who I come to find out has a daughter. Believe me, if I had known that all that would come of me following you was to get berated in a Starbucks to a soundtrack of lite pop, I would have driven so fast in the other direction I would have shattered the sound barrier!”
“Forgive me,” she pushed back her chair, standing up and grabbing her purse from it’s resting place next to her seat, “For finding it creepy that an ex of mine just happens to show up where I come for coffee every morning with my daughter, then tails us—very poorly, I might add—all the way to her day care, then waits outside for me in front of my car!” She threw a couple of ones on the table and stalked out the door. “And I would have much rather you broken the stupid sound barrier! I mean, who even talks about that kind of geeky stuff?”
“SMART PEOPLE! THAT’S WHO TALKS ABOUT THAT KIND OF STUFF!” He hollered from the door. Catching sight of the money on the table top, Gerard grabbed the bills and followed her. She was already in her car and buckling when he hammered his fist on the window, waving around money with the other. She refused to roll down the window. When he gesticulated wildly, pointing downward, she shook her head in refusal and glared. He could almost see her pointing out her tongue at him, a petulant child.
“Egan! Roll down the window. Now!” She crossed her arms. “Now!”
Impatiently, she jabbed the window button, an ugly snarl on her face.
“What?” He shoved the cash at her.
“It’s a Starbucks. You don’t have to fucking tip. That’s just stupid.”
“It is called being polite!”
“It’s called being stupid. No one buses your table, the next schmuck that walks by can just take the money. And by the way, your independence speech in there was touching and I’m all for liberation from The Man, but let me tell you this: I never put you under my thumb. I never forced anything on you. I never tried to make use of our situation to get you to do as I said. Never. So I don’t know who you were railing against, but it wasn’t me.” He turned and walked away, all the while wondering how things could have gotten so bad, so fast. When they were together, he had thought things were good—not perfect, mind you, but he’d never asked for perfection. Then, suddenly, it was bad…And he’d thought they’d parted on somewhat civil terms. But now, seeing her here and fighting like that…He just wanted to know where the good things went wrong.
Somewhere in the back of his head he registered the slam of a car door, footsteps, a scuffling sound, the skittering of pebbles at his feet across the pavement. Then one of those pebbles hit him in the back of the head.
“The fuck…?” he demanded as he rubbed the nape of his neck and scanned the lot. He didn’t have to look far. A few feet away Egan stood in fighting stance, legs spread at shoulder width and more stones clutched in one miniscule white fist. She called something to him. He couldn’t hear what she said, but from the set of her face he could tell it was a question. He called back as he took a few steps toward her.
“What?”
“Do you hate me?” For a second, he wanted to say yes. Yes, YES, resoundingly yes.
“No. Why would you think that?” Now she was walking towards him too and they met in the middle, a few feet apart and just within speaking distance. It ached that they were only comfortable that far away from the other. His mind wandered once more to the huge discrepancy between what they had been and what they were.
“Because of what I’ve done.”
“What’ve you done?” She looked him dead in the eye.
“Everything I said I never would. Everything you wanted from me that I wouldn’t give you.”
And when she said that, said exactly what was on her mind, no bullshit, just straight shooting, she was Egan just like she had been five years ago. The one who would claim her stuff and own it. That girl he’d loved. Nothing had changed. They were them.
The illusion only lasted a few seconds and then it broke like a wave washing over him. She was not that girl. He was no longer in love. And it wasn’t her fault for moving on with her life. He couldn’t expect her to stay locked away in a tower like a princess. That wasn’t Egan.
“I can’t say it doesn’t hurt, but you don’t owe me anything. Explanations or otherwise.”
“Can we try again?” For a moment his heart thrilled in his chest, but then she seemed to realize what she’d said.
“Can we try talking again?” she clarified, and really, what had he expected? Of course that was what she meant. Of course.
Of course.
“Of course.”
She smiled.
Author's Note: I don't know how I feel about this chapter. It just kind of makes me look at it and go 'hmmm'. And also, when I first put this chapter up, I could see it but no one else. So I had to re-post and I just wasn't feeling the idea of going back through and bolding and italiscizing everything again, so try and picture where it should go. Better yet, tell me in a REVIEW where you think some really important placs to stress would be. Thanks, and love from me.
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