Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > My Confused Love[sequel to my drunk love]

Hopelessly Hopeless.

by shehadtheworld12 2 Reviews

He looked at me as if I had just kicked his cat.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2009/07/31 - Updated: 2009/08/01 - 1064 words

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"After you left that day, I became a whole new person, but not the way you think. I became isolated from everyone and I didn't know why. Then I found out I was pregnant. I couldn't say anything to anyone. I just hid it for as long as could. When graduation was over I got out of town to hopefully start my life. Away from everyone, and just learn what its like to be myself again. I was alone, and with a pregnant belly, I just found a nice job and prayed that everything would work out. And it did." I said softly to Bob who was looking at me as if I had just kicked his cat. As much as I wanted to yell or scream, I couldn't find the energy to.

"So no one knew? Not even Tephira?"

"Only my parents. That's it." He sighed.

"I can't believe you were pregnant and you, we, have a daughter."

"I know. Who knew one night could change everything."

"But why didn't you tell me?"

"Bob. I don't know okay? I've been asking myself that for the past three years. I just figured you regretted everything that happened and I didn't want to make things worse."

"Well that's an understatement. I have a daughter I didn't even know existed. I can't believe you." I glared.

"Honestly Bob! Were you're really ready to be a father back then? You were just getting back in to drumming, and had plans. Were you really ready to sacrifice that? Cause I sure as hell wasn't."

"That's not fair, Tissa. I would've been there, if you had told me. I wouldn't have walked out like you thought I would."

"It didn't stop you the first time."

"I was confused that day. Waking up in your room, not clothed. Wondering what the hell happened that night. I had no clue what to think."

"Obviously you did. You made it perfectly clear, that it was a mistake. We were drunk, and....you used me to get over Meena." I choked back tears as I could tell that hit him hard. But it's the truth and I couldn't deny it anymore.

"I-I-I didn't use you. Its just that I...I don't know."

"Bob, I can't explain how that night happened. We were two people caught up in our emotions, we were too blind to see what it was doing to us.
I've always thought about you, I did plan on telling you, I just couldn't get the words out. Eventually I let it drag, and then Asia was born, you were finally living your dream, and I didn't want to ruin it."

"If I had known, I would've found a way to take care of you and her. I may have been a jerk in highschool, but I wasn't that low. You have to understand I've changed since then. I wish you would've told me. We were both selfish."

"Selfish? How I was selfish, when you left? I was hurt, Bob. Imagine me having to pick up the pieces and put on a brave face, and act like everything was fine, when I kept thinking about how you didn't mean it. If you're insisting that I'm using our daughter as a way to get back at you, you are mistaken."

"No! That's not what I'm saying. I know you wouldn't do that. And I know I hurt you, and I've had to deal with that since then. I really am sorry." He leaned in closer and suprisingly I didn't pull away.

"To be honest, there was apart of me who wanted to confront you, but I knew you were hurt, and I was to bold to admit it that I was the cause of it."

"I felt the same way." I muttered, and we stayed silent for who knows how long.

"I'm not gonna say I planned on keeping her, because I really didn't. I considered other options, but when I felt her inside. I didn't fully realize how much I wanted her, until she was placed in my arms. I didn't let go. Never could." I admitted.

"I understand, but you did the right thing."

"You think so?" I lifted my head up, and he nodded.

"You've taken care of her."

"Really? Cause I did a good job so far." I pointed to the depressing building. It really was.

"It was an accident, you didn't know it would happen. Don't blame yourself." I didn't know how much I could believe that. Every mother feels guilty right? It's their maternal instinct.

More silence.

"Tissa?"

"Yes?"

"Is there any chance that we could start over. Start completely from fresh." I bit my lip but nodded. I wasn't sure if I was giving in too quick, but I wanted nothing more to feel some peace, and even if it took awhile to get there, I would be happy to put this to rest.

"I would like that, but as friends. I really did hope we would be able to talk again without anger or hatred."

"Me too. I never wanted us to be like we are now."

"Me neither." I whispered.

"I should head back. She's probably done. If you want to stay, you can. If you don't I understand, you must have someone to go home to." I smiled.

"Yeah my cat."

"Oh."

"I would like to stay for you and Asia. Umm does she know anything about her father?"

"No. But wanna know something funny?"

"What?"

"She kicked when I thought of you. It was weird. She knew when I was thinking about someone." He smiled.

"Really?" I nodded.

"Come on, we should go." I stood up and he followed behind me back to the hospital. Before I walked in, he pulled me by hand softly and turned me around.

"Could we talk more? I would love to hear more about her while she developed."

"That would be nice, but let's go see if our daughter is okay." Those words tasted weird on my lips. Our daughter.

And we walked back. A weight was lifted of my shoulders, and I was finally content with where I was at. My daughter would be okay, and he finally knew the truth.

Now all I had to do was figure out a way to explain to Asia how Bob the friend, was really Bob her dad.
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