Frank can't hold himself together for much longer...
God why did Gee have to be so stupid? Why didn’t he see how genius my plan was. I bit on my lip, sat up and stared into his eyes, god he had beautiful eyes, I could stare into those eyes forever.
No wait I can’t, best friends don’t stare into each other’s eyes forever. I needed to stop thinking about Gerard and start thinking about a way to convince him. So he didn’t think my reason was good enough, he didn’t think that me being able to kill the whole band, was a big deal. That’s like saying a hammered person behind the wheel, isn’t a big deal.
Okay so maybe I was exaggerating a little bit, maybe I wasn’t gonna kill the entire band but there is another reason, only problem is I can’t tell him about that reason.
I started brainstorming: What other reasons could I have for quitting the band?
I stared into Gee’s eyes again and remembered that I couldn’t possibly lie to him.
“Gee please don’t make this difficult now, just let me- just let me quit the band’
I looked down, for I couldn’t possibly look him in the eyes as I knew I was hurting him. I really don’t wanna hurt him, I mean I love him, I love him with every inch of me. Ironically enough that was exactly the reason that I needed to do this.
I suddenly felt Gerard hands slide over my body. ‘I warned you Frankie’ he chuckled
His hands started tickling me, my stomach, my chest. I let my self fall on the bed again, giggling loudly. I was squirming and twisting trying to break lose. Man I hate Gerard he knows I’m ticklish, asshole!
Wait that ain’t true I love him, his chuckle was so fucking sweet and it feels great having his hands move across my skin, despite the tickling and it feels great having him laying on top me, his body pressing against mine. I looked at his perfect pale skin, his messy black hair and then I let my eyes wander to his, I couldn’t help but stare as I was completely dazzled by the beauty of them.
What!? Wait a sec…
This was bad, this was what I couldn’t handle anymore, being so close to him, but not having him. This was why I needed to quit the band.
I felt tears coming up, it wasn’t fair. I want to be his best friend, but I can’t anymore, it hurts way too much.
I let myself fall on the ground, I didn’t care if it was dirty or not. I started hugging my knees, resting my head on them. I felt the tears coming up again and this time I didn’t even try to stop them. I was completely and utterly worn out.
What the hell just happened!? But there was no time to think about that, I needed to find Frankie. It was now clear to me that he was still hiding something from me, something that upset him in a way I’ve never seen him upset, something that trough his eyes could only by solved by quitting the band.
I needed to find him, and I needed to do it fast. I started thinking, what would Frank normally go when he was upset? Then it hit me, it was so obvious, he was most likely outside smoking a cigarette. It was a habit of both me and Frankie to go outside and smoke if we were upset or really stressed out. Well actually it was a habit of us to go outside and smoke whenever we had the chance, but when were upset or stressed the chances of us smoking were if possible even bigger.
I was halfway down the stairs and I started running a little faster. I ran past the reception. In normal circumstances I would have smiled politely to the man/woman behind the desk, but this weren’t normal circumstances, Frankie was hurt and I couldn’t be bothered with politeness at the moment, I just stormed through the front doors of the hotel.
The moment I was out of the hotel, I froze almost completely numbed by what I saw in front of me, the only thing I felt was my heart crashing into a million tiny pieces.
Frank wasn’t smoking, he was sitting in the pouring rain. His white t-shirt was completely soaked and I could see water drops falling from his hair. Yet Frankie was just sitting there, head down, arms wrapped tightly around his knees. He just sat there not moving at all, the only sign of life that he gave was his heart breaking crying.
I couldn't allow myself to stand there completely frozen any longer, I begged for my body to listen to my instructions and after what seemed like forever I started walking again. I walked into the pouring rain, letting myself fall on the ground next to Frankie. I put my arms around him and started hugging him, he didn’t hug me back. He was ice-cold, yet he didn’t shiver once.
“Frankie I know that you think you can’t tell me, but Frankie this isn’t working either your killing yourself and I can’t bear watching you do that, you have to tell me’
“Gee I’m so sorry fo-for every-thing, I can’t hide it anymore, I-..’ He was choking and there where muffled cries between his words.
“Just tell me Frankie, it’s gonna be okay’
He lifted up his head and I stared into his tearstained eyes. I let my eyes wander across his beautiful face. His face was soaking wet, just like his t-shirt, only difference was the wetness of his t-shirt was caused by the rain. His face however had been pressed to his knees the entire time, his face was completely soaked by tears.
It felt another shot of pain go through my body.
‘’I’m-I’m in love with you Gee’’
‘’I’m so sorry, I wish-…’ He let his head fall down on his knees again and continued his crying.
I felt the pieces in my heart putting itself together again, and my now whole heart started beating excitedly against my chest. This was a problem I could easily fix, this was a problem I was very eager to fix. I wanted nothing more than for us to be together, so I cupped his head into my hands and pulled his face towards me. “I’m glad you are Frankie, cause I’m in love with you too’ Then I pressed my lips against his.
Hey, thanks for reading i hope you enjoyed the story. It would be great if you reviewed it and maybe rated.
Frerardness will be coming in the next chapter and i think Mikey, Ray and Bob will also become part of the story.