Sunday 22nd November 2009.
Just can't fucking stick this place anymore. I want to go back to Ireland. What a fucking joke Ray Toro really is, what a fucking joke my life really is. So Ray found out about everything. Okay, so I was fucked up when I came home, I opened my big fucking mouth and my life ended. I argue with my parents alot, like alot, but what Ray said did no justice. I'll write a little re-enactment.
"Yes well, you don't know what it's like to be ripped away from everything!" I shouted in his face.
"Well then why don't you go back?! Huh?! Why don't you go?! Just fuck off!"
And that's the end. Well, there was a alot more to it but that is the reason why I'm writing in this diary thing. I haven't since I used to self-harm alot. It sort of helped me a little. But it just cut through me, ya know? I mean, he is my dad. I really just want Josh to be here again. I can't go back to Ireland, there is no way of me going back. Unless he really wanted me to go? I know it's childish to think that way though. He's given me up once, why wouldn't he do it a second time? I just can't seem to explain everything right now, what's running through my head, what I feel. I've even got a Robbie William's song stuck in my head.
I didn't think I was doing Ray any bother, I knew everything was going to be messed since well it all just happened but damn it got to me.
I give up.