I felt safe enough to hurt. I felt safe enough to hide. (Bob's P.O.V.)
- Very good, really! Job well done. But it's a tad short. I think if you elongated the plot line, it'd be even better. But very original and creative. Kudos! :)
Author's responseI apologize for the story being so short. Being able to write more in a single story is something I definately want to acheive in the future. And thank you so much for the advice as to elongate the plot line. It will be very helpful for the next time I write.
(#) MyFamousLastWords 2009-12-06 03:34:53 PMOriginal indeed. I'm reviewing this from my phone so if it's all like bad, sorry!
was the lines in italics lyrics from a song? I think this could be used as a metaphor too. (Well if it wasn't already) I like the way it just ran so smoothly.
Author's responseThe italics were not from lyrics, but that's an interesting thought. Same with the metaphor idea. I wish I would've come up with those...
Anyways, the italics were basically supposed to be a bit of foreshadowing. The italics were influenced by the regular text, and therefore a result of what was occurring.
Does that make any sense whatsoever? Or am I just rambling nonsense again? Because lately that's all I've been doing ;)
(#) _Amy_Revenge_ 2009-12-06 05:11:09 PMI luffed it :) Very creepy and Bob-like, in a way. Although, I am curious on who it was in that chair. Man or woman, virgin or non-virgin, famous or no.. ETC..
Yeah. Luffed it to DEATH, hun xD
Author's responseMan, non-virgin, famous.
Does that help you in anyway ;)