Being on tour with Gerard was wonderful. I was so happy to be with him. All I'd ever wanted in life was to live for someone else. All those years I was sick I had never wanted to focus on me and it seemed like that was all it was about. It made me feel even sicker to hear so much about myself and to have all the focus on me. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing. I was living for myself and it was awful. Gerard and I had been living so blissfully. Everyone was joking that we seemed like a newly married couple. I've never known happiness like this since I'd met Gerard. I loved him with everything I had and knew for sure he was just as happy as I was which made me even more ecstatic.
The curtains on the tiny bunk bed had been drawn back to reveal a smiling Ray. "Hey guys time to get up" Gerard groaned which everyone knew meant 'leave Collete and I alone before I seriously hurt you' I giggled and leaned down to kiss him. As always he put his arm around my waist and kissed me back nice and softly. We snuggled in silence for a while before Gerard said "I love you, very much" he said it with such ease that it made me feel so good "I love you too" I replied. My only hope was that our life could be like this for a long time. "I need to go practice and get ready for the concert tonight" Gerard said with a yawn. He stretched his arms and kissed me before leaving to get dressed and go inside the venue. The bus had been parked in the back of the building. We'd arrived early, the night before, and had no need to go to a hotel, there were perfectly good bunks here in the bus. Gerard ducked his head in one last time to give me a kiss goodbye.
The guys had been practicing for hours now and I'd been on the bus watching movies in our bunk. I heard some activity outside of the bunk area and smiled. The curtain was drawn back for the second time that day. I looked up into the face of my disapproving boyfriend and frowned. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked "Well angel, you seem to have taken over my bunk completely, between your cupcake and Reese's wrappers and this tinker bell blanket, it's lost all it's manliness" I giggled at him "That's not true you still have your batman stickers" I pointed to the ones on the 'ceiling' of the bunk "well yea but you've put some hello kitty ones up there as well and some Spiderman and everyone knows what a fag he is" I gasped shocked at his insulting behavior towards my Spiderman stickers. "Plus, look at this!" he held up a pair of lacy black panties "This is not very manly my love" he smirked "Yea but that's your fault you took those off of me when I was just minding my own business last night" I tried to defend myself "Oh yea by minding your own business you mean wrapping yourself around me and making out with my neck while I was trying to read, right" I rolled my eyes. "Whatever you enjoyed it" he laughed "Well yea, I did ha, any way’s it's time for you to get out of this bunk you cant live your life in here lets go get some food before I have to go to 'work' if you will" I laughed at his referring to singing in a band as work seemed more like fun to me.
We went to a fast food place and it was a nice change. I'd been in that bunk with Gerard's laptop playing movies for three days straight. After eating we'd decided to go shopping and stock the bus. I climbed into the cart and Gerard pushed me around grabbing all kinds of things. Lots of vegetables and fruits, a few vegetarian things for Frank, chips for Bob, frozen pizza for Ray, Oreo's for me and Gerard, and lots of containers of sushi for Mikey. I kept grabbing things of the shelves like popcorn and FrankenBerry cereal. When we were all done we headed back to the bus and put the food away. "I have to head back to the venue" Gerard said he came up behind me as I put a box of pasta into the cabinet overhead the stove and wrapped his arms around my middle. I laid my head back on his shoulder and he kissed me goodbye. My life was amazing. I cant believe I was so lucky to have met this man. Gerard left and I sat down on the couch to check the messages on my phone. There were a couple from my aunt and my friends but the last message felt like a struck of lightening to my entire nerve system. I didn't know what to do or how to react. I dropped my phone. And sat there for a good five minutes trying to decide what to do.
My bags were packed and my train ticket had been purchased. I called my aunt and Haley to explain what happened. They both understood and knew I would not listen to their protests. I couldn't stay with Gerard; I couldn't let him see me like I did before. The time I'd spent with him had given me enough happiness to last a lifetime, but I couldn't let him watch me die.
The message I'd gotten that day was from the doctor. When Gerard and I had been separated for those two months I'd gone to the doctor for a check up. They drew blood and did all kinds of tests. I'd gotten the results from them telling me to come back to the hospital for treatment. I thought my nightmare was over but it had just gotten worse.