Yup the last one. Then I'm moving onto one featuring The Used because I freaking love them :D
I stand at the docks on a shore on New York. It's a cold windy day and my hair is whipped around my face as I stare out over the rolling waves into the distance. As I watch memories come flooding back to me. Just little flashes of scenes. Like a photo album in my head. The green eyes, pale hands draing rough sketches on a drawing pad, a cute upturned nose, locks of messy black hair and a crooked smile that made my heart ache to think about. The same one that could light up my day no matter what happened. A smile that could melt my heart. A small lump appeared in my throat but I quickly shook my head with a small smile. I'd spent 2 years mourning. Now I'd finally begun rebuilding my life. Anyway I have something else to occupy me now.
As if she's been reading my thoughts something small started tugging at my hand
"Mommy you promised me we could go see the toy store!". I looked down into the concerned little eyes of my daughter. His daughter. Helena.
"I know sweetie we're leaving now. Mommy was just thinking" I replied gently brushing her hair out of her face. She looked just like him. Same hair always permenantly in a mess. Same eyes filled with curiosity and adventure. Maybe that's why it made it so hard for me to love her. Everyday looking at her was like looking at him.
"Were you thinking about daddy again?" She asked. she didn't understand about her mother's illness. Why I'd had to take so many tablets over the last few years. Why she's had to spend so much time with her grandparents while her mommy 'went on vacation' for a while.
"Yes sweetie I was" I said softly. She put her tiny hand in mine and nuzzled her face into my leg
"I miss him mommy" She said. I knew she was just saying that to make me feel better. She never met her father. All she has left of him are the hundreds of stories myself, and Gerard's family have told her. She can practically recite them off by heart now.
"Me too" I said feeling my throat become tight again.
"Right well we'd better hurry up then" I said brightly. "Grandma Donna wants you back soon for dinner". We turned away from the very same docks I'd arrived here upon 3 years ago, and 2 months pregnant. Helena pulled on my hand impatiently, dragging me forward through crowds of people who I had to keep apologising to. As soon as we reached the store all the thoughts of her father had left her. As I watched her point things out to excitedly and chattered to me. She knew I couldn't afford to buy her all the things she pointed out no matter how much I wanted to. Maybe her daddy not being here was a good thing. We'd be deep in debt and loans by now if he was alive. He would've done anything and everythying he could to make his daughter happy.
She finally won me over with her big pleading eyes as she showed me a small doll sitting in front of display. It was reasonably cheap so I agreed to get it for her. She skipped along happily in front of me singing to herself. I watched her proudly with a small smile. As we passed the park I knew what was coming next before she'd even turned around with her small face put in the cutest face she could manage.
"Mommy pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?!" She begged. I rolled my eyes and smiled.
"Allright but not for long. Grandma Donna'll be angry otherwise" I said as she hugged me quickly and ran towards a group of children I recognised. I sat down on a bench and watched her for a while. After a few minutes I leant my head back, closed my eyes and sighed. We'd have to leave soon, even though I enjoyed these moments alone to sit and think. Someone came and sat down on the bench next to me but I didn't register who.
"Are you here with anyone?" The person next to me asked. I looked to see a skinny, heavily-bearded man looking straight ahead of him.
"Yes my daughter" I replied unsurely. He nodded. "Are you here with any children?" I asked.
"No. I lost my family a long time ago" He replied. His voice was hoarse sounding, like he'd been screaming for hours on end.
"Oh. Im sorry"
"Is your husband here?" He asked still not looking at me. I frowned at him. He was starting to creep me out slightly.
"I.. I just saw the ring on your finger and guessed.." He said quickly. I breathed out slowly.
"No. He's gone" I said shakily touching the ring. Even though I still wore it I didn't like thinking of Gerard as my 'husband'. He was barely my fiance.
"Oh. What h-" He was cut off by Helena running towards me holding out her arm.
"Mommy mommy look what happened" She sobbed pointing at a small cut.
"Aww Helena it's okay look, It's just a scratch. Come on let's get you home to Grandma" I said standing up and taking her hand. The man stood up looking down at Helena in awe.
"Is.. is this your daughter?" He breathed. Helena stopped crying and gripped my hand, hiding herself behind my legs.
"Yes" I replied looking closely at his face. His bright green eyes looked into mine and my heart stopped.
I couldn't breathe.
"Hello Alice" He replied with the smile that could make the heavens sing.
"Oh my God!" I ran forward and threw myself at him, gripping him as hard as I could like I'd never let go. He hugged me back equally hard as the tears began flowing.
"You have no idea how glad I am to see you" He sobbed into my hair. I couldn't reply I was crying so much. I could hardly stand I was shaking that badly.
"Mommy what's wrong?" Helena asked tugging at my trousers. I tore myself away from Gerard's chest and looked down at her.
"Helena sweetie I want you to meet someone. This is your daddy" I said. Gerard crouched down next to her.
"Hello Helena-" He stopped and looked up at me "You named her Helena?" He asked.
"You told me so many amazing stories about her. Donna said you always wanted to name a child after her" I replied. He beamed up at me and looked back at Helena who was backing away from Gerard. She looked at me frowning.
"Daddy's gone mommmy. You said so. He's in heaven" She said firmly. She looked at Gerard again
"You said daddy was handsome" Gerard and I laughed.
"She does have a good point" He said chuckling.
"Well daddy's back now sweetie. Daddy came home" I said. I knelt down next to Gerard and he took my hand in his, grinning.
"Mommy.." Helena said unsurely backing away again, clutching her doll. I moved forward and put my hand on her shoulder.
"This is your daddy Helena. He finally came home" I whispered as tears started rolling down my cheeks again. Gerard chuchkled again and rubbed my back. Helena still looked unsure but she nodded and moved forward slightly.
"Hello daddy" She said carefully watching him. Gerard's face lit up in happiness and his eyes teared up. She held out her hand to shake his and Gerad and I burst out laughing. Gerard shook her hand gently giggling.
"Shall we go home to Grandma and Grandpa?" I asked her. I looked at Gerard.
"We've got some very important news to tell them"