Categories > Celebrities > Motley Crue > Love Me to the Death

Starting Over

by devilsgyrl 0 Reviews

Amy gets busted and goes home to start a new life. Is it worth living for?

Category: Motley Crue - Rating: R - Genres: Romance - Characters:  - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2010/02/05 - Updated: 2010/02/06 - 13325 words

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Everyone turned and stared at Vince and me with incredulous expressions on their faces. I could feel my face heating up. A long silence followed Beth Lynn's outburst. I shifted uncomfortably on the bed next to Vince, trying to figure out the kindest way to word my apology. Nikki broke the silence, "Is this a joke or something? Because it's not really that funny."
"Joke?" Beth Lynn cried furiously, "You think this is a joke? You actually think I could joke about something this serious?" Nikki took one look at Beth Lynn's expression and instantly knew she wasn't joking. Nikki turned and gave me a dubious expression, "Is she telling the truth, Amy? Did this really happen?"
I was immediately tempted to lie. I had never ever wanted for Nikki to know about any of this. But I was already caught up in a web of lies, one more would only get me into more trouble. Ever so slowly, I lifted my tear-stained face to meet Nikki's eyes. Nikki searched my face questioningly and an expression of disbelief and disgust started to cross his face, "Oh my fucking god, it is true!" Nikki immediately slid off the bed as if I were a germ that he could be infected by. He crossed the room to lean against the wall next to Beth Lynn with his arms folded across his chest. My heart seemed to split in half. It was one thing to have Beth Lynn mad at me, but it was a completely different thing to have Nikki mad at me too. Nervously, I glanced over to see how Vince was reacting. He was biting his lower lip and was staring at the ground.
I knew I was going to have to say something to Beth Lynn sooner or later. I couldn't just sit here and not say anything. An apology was necessary. Somehow, I managed to regain my voice and apologize, "Beth Lynn...I'm really sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. Honestly, I would go back and redo the whole thing if I could. Vince and I didn't actually do anything if that makes you feel any better..." I trailed off, unsure of what else to say.
Beth Lynn merely stared unblinkingly at me with an emotionless expression on her face. A long pause filled the room. Nobody moved or spoke. I could feel all the Crue members still staring at me and Vince. I tried to search for something else to say or add to my apology, but my brain seemed to have stopped working. Finally, Beth Lynn slowly crossed the room so that she was standing right in front of me. I shifted apprehensively under her gaze, waiting for her to say or do something.
Suddenly, a flash of anger flickered across Beth's otherwise emotionless face. Her cheeks reddened and she raised her palm and slapped me hard on my right cheek. A rip of agony pulsed through my body. I didn't really mind it though. After all, it was only the pain I deserved. Vince broke out of his stupor and raised his gaze from the floor to give Beth Lynn a dirty look, "Keep your hands off her! None of this is her fault. It's all my fault. Besides, you have no right to slap her like that."
Beth's hands clenched into fists and she started trembling in her rage, "Don't you dare tell me what to do, you fucking cheating bastard! And don't you talk to me either, you little slut! I don't want your pathetic apologizes. Just get out of my sight. I never want to hear you or speak to you again." Beth didn't have to repeat her words. I wanted nothing more to escape than the nightmarish scene that had unfolded before me.
I rose from the bed at shot one quick look at Nikki. His eyes were cold and he was looking at me as if I were a pesky, little bug he wanted to squish under his foot. I turn and ran through the open door with my head in my hand and with tears pouring down my cheeks. Without bothering to shut the door behind me, I smashed open my bedroom door and shut it behind me with a slam. I bolted into the bathroom and locked the door securely behind me.
Tears streamed down my face and made a puddle at my feet. I felt terrible for what I had done. I had never expected this to happen. Not only had I lost Beth Lynn's trust and respect, but I had also proven to the whole Crue that I was a cheating whore. And worst of all, I had lost Nikki. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted nothing to do with me ever again.
The sound of a door opening sounded from a long ways away and the noise of footsteps approaching the bathroom door sounded. I squeezed my eyes shut and cried harder. The last thing I wanted to do at the moment was talk to someone. All I wished to do was be left alone to drown in my own misery and guilt.
"Amy?" a soft knock sounded on my door. "I know you're in there. Can I come in?" I didn't answer. I knew it was rude not to reply, but I wasn't in a state to worry about manners. I slammed my head down on the bathroom counter. A rush of dizziness and pain quickly pulsed through my head and I sank to my knees on the hard, tile floor.
"Come on, Amy," the voice persisted, "let me in. What are you doing in there? Something tells me you're hurting yourself." I weighed my options for a few seconds. I didn't want to have to face any of the Crue members now, but I would have to face them eventually. It was impossible to hide from them forever. I might as well get this over with now.
"Tommy? Is that you?" I questioned through my sobs, "And is anyone else out there?" I heard a sigh of relief from outside the door, "Yeah, it's me. Just me. Nobody else in here. Please let me in or come out." Reluctantly, I stood back up and unlocked the door. Tommy stood just outside of it with a look of concern on his face. At seeing him, my tears fell faster and I collapsed into his outstretched arms. Through my tears, I choked, "I-I never meant to, Tommy. Honestly, I didn't! It just sorta h-happened. And now everyone thinks I'm a b-bitch and I've ruined the rest of my life."
Tommy massaged my back and said in a comforting tone, "You've gotta calm down a bit, Amy. I know you didn't mean for it to happen. Nobody would choose to get into a mess like this. Not everyone thinks you're a bitch. I most certainly don't think you are. You're just a little confused, that's all. And you've not ruined the rest of your life. Of course you haven't!"
"Yes, I have!" I insisted, "I've lost both my lovers forever. They're the only things that kept me going in life. Without them, I'm totally lost. Nothing is the same. Nothing will ever be the same now. Nobody is going to ever forget this." Tommy sighed loudly, "People will forget about this. It's just gonna take some time like everything does. And about Vince and Nikki...well, you're probably right. Don't worry, there are plenty of other guys out there."
"No, there's not!" I retorted angrily, "I only want Vince or Nikki. I could never love another man. I just know they're the ones for me, you know?" A slight silence fell before Tommy spoke again, "I sorta know what you mean. But you're gonna have to learn to move on. Besides, you can't have two lovers. I told you that earlier. You had your chance with Nikki but..." Tommy left his sentence unfinished. I finished it for him, "But I blew that chance? I was so damn stupid. How could I have been so blind?"
A loud rapping sounded on the door, causing Tommy and I to jump with surprise. Tommy frowned, "I'd better go see who that is. I won't let anyone in though. Why don't you go lay down for a while and try to get some sleep? You look utterly exhausted." I let Tommy untangle himself from me and didn't argue. I didn't have the strength to argue and sleep did sound quite nice at the moment. As Tommy crossed the room, I collapsed on my bed.
I heard Tommy open the door, step outside, and then shut it behind him as quickly as possible. I pulled the pillow tightly over my head and tried to make myself forget everything. I just wanted the world to disappear at the moment. What I needed most was a fresh, clean start to make everything right again.



I awoke from a restless, disrupted sleep a few hours later. I hadn't slept well at all. My sleep had consisted of tossing and turning all night. While I had slept, I had considered what to do next. Basically I had two options: I could either continue on the tour with the Crue and pretend that nothing was wrong, or I could leave and go home now. Clearly, going home was the best option. It would be like hell to continue on with the Crue. I could only imagine all the talk that would go on behind my back and the dirty looks I would get if I stayed with the Crue. I had to leave...tonight.
Silently and stealthily, I slid out of bed and gathered up all my lose clothes. I folded them carefully and placed them in the left side of my suitcase. The right side would be used to store all my toiletries. As quietly as I could, I crept across the room and into the bathroom. I gathered my cosmetics and shampoo bottle into my arms and retraced my steps back to my suitcase.
When I was about halfway across the room, the slick shampoo bottle slipped from my grasp and landed on the ground with an ear-splitting smash. Shit. I had planned to escape from the hotel without anyone knowing I was leaving. That would mostly likely be impossible now. It would be pretty amazing if Tommy was still sleeping.
Just as I had predicted, a groggy voice called out my name from the bed across from mine, "Amy? What the hell are you doing up now? It's like two am or something. Are you alright? Is something wrong?" I decided to tell Tommy the truth. Hopefully he wouldn't try to stop me from leaving. I wasn't in a mood to argue tonight.
In a soft tone I replied, "I'm fine, nothing is wrong. But I'm leaving now, Tommy. Just go back asleep." Tommy apparently wasn't going to go back to sleep. I heard rustling from the direction of his bed and a light flicked on. I blinked at the brightness; my eyes had adjusted to the darkness already. Tommy continued, "I figured you were going to leave. It just seemed like something you would do. I don't blame you for leaving."
I crammed my cosmetics into my suitcase and replied to Tommy, "Yeah, I don't really have a choice. I need to get away from here. Everything here causes me pain. I'm really gonna miss you though, Tommy." Tommy focused blearily on my face, "I'm gonna miss you too, girl. I wish there was some other way to end this. Call me as soon as you get back home, alright? I want to make sure you get back safely."
I zipped up my suitcase and stepped towards the door, "Of course." The two of us gazed sadly at one another. Finally, I said the inevitable words, "Goodbye Tommy." I waved to him before exiting the hotel room for the last time. I trudged down the hallway until I reached the elevator. I felt like a criminal trying to escape a jail cell. After stepping inside the elevator, I hit the main lobby button. The elevator instantly reminded me of Vince and a spasm of pain seemed to drive straight through my heart.
A few moments later, the elevator doors slid open silently. I quickly stepped outside of it, lugging my suitcase behind me. Reluctantly, I moved towards the entrance of the hotel. Just as I had my hand on the door handle, I heard a voice call my name. Curiously, I turned around to see who was calling my name.
Vince was sitting at one of the tables on the right side of the room sipping a beer. I left my suitcase by the door and crossed the room until I was standing by Vince's table, "Hey! What are you doing here?" Vince chuckled, "I could ask you the same thing! I'm staying down here tonight because Beth Lynn is being an asshole. She certainly has a temper. So why don't you tell me what you're doing here?" I felt a lump form in my throat, "I'm leaving Vince. Going back home to where I belong."
Vince stood up and instantly his arms were around me, holding me tightly against him. I hugged him back tightly, never wanting to let go of him. I pressed my forehead against his so our faces were only a fraction of an inch apart, "Oh god, this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm gonna miss you so much. The pain of saying goodbye to you is practically killing me."
"This isn't goodbye!" Vince corrected me, "It's just...temporary until the tour ends. I'm gonna miss you, sweetie." Vince peered at me with those gorgeous blue eyes of his that told of several different emotionas. Slowly, he leaned down and slid his lips onto mine one last time. We kissed for a long time, trying to prolong the moment when I would have to leave.
After around ten minutes, I slowly broke away from the embrace, "I've gotta go now..." Vince nodded sadly, "I know..." We both stood there, neither of us willing to say goodbye. I noticed a single tear drip out of the corner of Vince's eye. I wiped it away tenderly. Finally, I somehow managed to step backwards, "Goodbye Vince. I love you."
"I love you too," Vince replied miserably. "Call me, okay? A lot." I nodded and hurried back to my abandoned suitcase. As soon as I had stepped outside, tears flooded from my eyes. I didn't think I had ever cried this much in my life before.
I heaved my suitcase into the trunk of my car and slammed it shut. After entering the driver's seat, I revved up the engine and drove away from the hotel. I was leaving my past behind me; I would start a new life. After all, I still had a long future ahead of me. A knot formed in my stomach; I had a future that did not contain Nikki or Vince. Was that a future that was even worth living for?


Six months later found me watching television without really comprehending what was on the screen. Ever since I had arrived home after the tour, my depression had worsened a considerable amount and I lacked interest in everything. I hadn't talked to any of the Crue members since I left the tour. The first thing I did once I reached home was turn my cell phone off. It was a too big of a temptation for me. Every time I set eyes on my phone, I felt an impulse to call Vince or Tommy. But I couldn't call them. I had banned myself from ever speaking to them again. After all, the only thing I did was make their lives miserable. It was okay for me to fuck up my own life, but I certainly didn't have any right to fuck up their lives.
But even though I was speaking to Vince or Nikki, I thought about them more than ever. It was as if I had left my heart back in the hotel in Canada. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened with Vince and Beth Lynn. Beth had been so angry; would she ever forgive Vince? And what of Nikki? Was he still angry at me? He had a right to be angry at me. After all, I had cheated on him. It was my own fault that he had been pissed off at me. I missed him so much though. A small part of me wondered if he missed me at all. We had been best friends for so long. Did Nikki have a new best friend now?
Most of all, I missed Vince's love. I had said I had been in love several times, but I know knew that I had only truly fallen in love once. All the other guys I had "supposedly" loved had only been crushes. I had loved Vince with my whole heart and he had loved me back. I remembered the way he touched my body and the way his soft lips moved over mine. Those memories were just a stab in the heart now. They were mere fantasies now. For all I knew, I would never see Vince again.
"Amy, can't you do something besides just sit there?" my mom's concerned voice sounded from the kitchen. I sighed and turned up the volume on the TV. My mother was constantly fretting about me. She didn't think it was healthy for me to sit around on the couch all day and watch TV. Of course I didn't spend all my time doing this; I had gone back to college. I was still trying to get a degree and a job. Unfortunately, I had become quite distracted during my classes and my grades had plummeted.
Footsteps sounded behind my chair as my mom walked into the room, "I know you're ignoring me. Isn't there something you can do? It couldn't hurt to study a little for your upcoming exams, could it?" my mom suggested tentatively. I shrugged and flicked the television off. I might as well go study; maybe it would take my mind off my heartbreak.
As I turned to trudge up the stairs, my mom caught my arm. I turned around to look at her curiously. She was giving me a sad smile, "Amy, honey, is there something wrong? You've been so different these last six months. It's like you're a living dead girl if you know what I mean. Something must've happened while you were on that tour. Did one of those Crue members hurt you or something?" I rolled my eyes, it was just like my mom to suppose that I had gotten hurt. Ironically, it was the other way around; I had been the one who had hurt them.
"No mom," I sighed, "I didn't get hurt. You need to stop assuming that. Nothing is wrong and I'm just fine. I'm gonna go study now unless you need something?" My mom released my arm and I started the climb up to my bedroom. Once inside my room, I pulled out a heavy calculus textbook. Normally, math had been easy for me. It had been my best subject since second grade. But lately, I had been failing it. All those complex numbers seemed to get screwed up in my head.
I opened my book up to chapter seven. After reading the first five pages, I slammed it shut in frustration. None of the calculations seemed to make sense. I replaced the calculus book on my desk and took a long look at myself in the mirror adjacent to it. My hair looked limp, my eyes seemed to be unseeing gray holes on my face, and my skin was so pale that I looked sickly. Plus the corners of my eyes were bloodshot, which almost gave me a vampire-like look.
I sank down on my bed and just sat there. There didn't seem to be anything interesting to do, there were no places to go, and there were no friends to call. It was such a boring life.
I was very shocked when I heard my mom's voice call me from downstairs, "Amy! You've got a friend here to see you." My head spun; friend? I had no friends. There were a few girls I talked to occasionally in my college classes, but we had never gotten together or done anything outside of school together. Curiosity plowed me forward as I leaped out of the bed and rushed down the stairs to see who was here to see me.
A slender, blonde girl was standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking down at her feet. At first, I didn't recognize her. I slowed on my way down the stairs, rummaging through my brain to try to figure out who the woman was. Just then, she glanced up at me. My heart seemed to freeze and I found myself gaping at her. It was none other than Beth Lynn.
"Hi Amy," Beth Lynn smiled genuinely at me through her blood red lips. "I'm sorry for just dropping by, but I really wanted to speak to you. Do you have a moment to spare? Or should I come back later?" Somehow I managed to jerk myself out of my trance, "It's okay. And yeah, I've got plenty of time. Come on in." As I lead Beth to our couch, I couldn't help but wonder what she was doing here. I remembered her last words. She had told me that she never wanted to speak to me again, but nonetheless, here she was in my living room right now.
Beth took a seat on the edge of our burgundy couch and motioned for me to sit next to her. I tentatively perched on the couch. Beth turned to me soberly, "Amy, I really owe you an apology. I'm so sorry for the way I reacted on the tour. I was acting like a psycho. I know it wasn't your fault for what happened between you and my husband. He can be very seductive. I just want to let you know that I don't blame you and that I'm no longer mad, okay?"
I blinked at Beth Lynn in stupefaction. This was the last thing I had expected to hear from her lips. Once I found my voice I replied, "Thanks for forgiving me, Beth. I really don't deserve your forgiveness." Beth gave me a half smile, "You deserve it. I wanted to tell you something else too. There was a reason I was so suspicious of you and Vince..." Beth trailed off and blushed.
"What was that reason?" I probed gently. Beth stared at her feet uneasily and then finally spoke, "Just...don't hate me if I tell you, alright?" I nodded, "Of course, I would never hate you." I was curious about what she had done. It must be pretty bad if she was asking a cheating slut like me not to hate her.
"Well," Beth Lynn began. "You see, I met a man in my neighborhood about nine months ago. I fell in love with him. We were absolutely perfect for each other. The only problem was that I had just gotten married to Vince. I regretted my decision to get married so much, but I wasn't about to take it back. I couldn't separate myself from the man I loved. Every time I was away from him, I missed him so much. I felt like I was dying without him. To tell the truth, I've been cheating on Vince all during our marriage."
I felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water over my head. This was the last thing I had expected to hear from Beth Lynn. I had always imagined her as a perfect woman who had everything she wanted. After all, she had good looks, money, and an attractive, loving husband. But in truth, she was just like me. We both had been cheating.
Beth Lynn shifted nervously on the couch and met my eyes with chagrin, "You don't hate me, do you?" I shook my head quickly, "Of course I don't. I'm just shocked. I guess we we're both kinda in the same situation, hm?" Beth nodded, "Exactly. I felt so bad after I had yelled at you at the hotel. Cheating makes me feel constantly guilty. It's such an awful feeling."
"I know," I agreed remorsefully. I couldn't resist asking her another question, "So what's it like between you and Vince now?" Beth Lynn shrugged, "It's okay I guess. I've forgiven him. He doesn't know about me and my boyfriend though. I'm trying to keep it a secret. It's hard though because Vince and I don't really love each other."
"I'm so sorry," I apologized genuinely. "So tell me, when did you get back from Canada?" Beth chuckled, "Just last night actually. I came here right away. My conscious was driving me nuts. I just had to apologize to you right away." Beth glanced down at the silver watch on her slender wrist. "Damnit! I really have to go now. I have a hair appointment at three." Beth stood up and quickly moved towards the door.
I followed her over to the door, "Thanks so much for stopping by, Beth. It's nice to know we're on good terms now." Beth laughed her light, melodic laugh, "I'm glad about it too. By the way, you might want to consider calling Tommy. He was constantly trying to call you during the tour. I know he's worried sick about you."
An uneasy feeling filled my stomach as I waved to Beth Lynn. I had thought it would be for Tommy's own good if I hadn't called him. But despite my good intentions, I had only made him fret over me. I would have to call him right away. As soon as the door had closed behind Beth Lynn, I dashed into the kitchen calling my mother, "Mom?"
"Whoa, you look lively," my mom remarked as I came bursting in to the kitchen. "Do you need something? Also, who was that friend of yours? I don't think I've ever seen her before."
"That's Beth Lynn, Vince's wife," I answered, catching my breath. "Yeah, I do need something actually. Remember when I gave you my cell phone after the tour? Well, I kinda need it back now. Do you know where it is?" My mom nodded and reached into one of the kitchen drawers and retrieved my small, black phone, "It's right here. What do you need if for all of the sudden though?"
"I need to call a friend," I informed my mom, already running up the stairs two at a time. My mom shook her head at me, "Hm. Be careful I guess. What friend are you calling? It's not Nikki, is it?" I wished my mom hadn't said that. All it did was remind me of the missing piece of my heart.
"Nikki and I aren't friends anymore. How many times do I need to tell you that?" I snapped irritably. My mom threw her hands up innocently, "Okay, okay, sorry. Go call your friend." I shut the bedroom door behind me and flipped my cell phone open for the first time in months. I held the power button for a moment to turn it back on. I hummed to myself while my cell phone turned back on. I was in a fairly good mood for once. The visit with Beth Lynn had really cheered me up. It was good to know that not everyone in the world was mad at me for once. And now I was about to talk to Tommy.
I was surprised to see that I had fifty-two missed calls and twenty messages. A pang of guilt filled me; I should've called Tommy much earlier. Without further delay, I punched in the familiar numbers for Tommy's cell and then held the phone up to my ear. Three short rings went by before I heard a voice at the other end of the receiver, "Hello?"
"Tommy? Is that you?" I asked curiously into the phone. "It's me, Amy." There was a short pause on the other side of the phone before Tommy burst out, "Amy! Oh my god, it's so good to hear your voice again. I've tried to reach you so many times, but you never picked up. I've been worried sick. How have you been?"
"Uh..." I considered lying to Tommy, after all, I didn't want him to know how depressed I had been. But Tommy was my best friend, I could trust him. "To be honest, I've been feeling pretty terrible lately. My grades have been dropping like crazy and I feel depressed all the time. I've missed being with you guys so much. It's like you're family to me."
"Oh Amy, I'm so sorry to hear that," Tommy replied sympathetically. "We've missed you a lot too. The tour just didn't seem the same without you trailing us around." I smiled to myself at Tommy's comment and then asked him a question that had been bothering me, "How's Nikki been? Do you think he misses me or anything?" There was a long pause on Tommy's side of the phone. I bit my lip and waited for what would no doubt be bad news.
"Nikki's been doing fine..." Tommy trailed off nervously. I had a bad feeling in my gut that Tommy was only telling me half the truth, "Nikki's been doing fine, but...?" I insisted. Tommy sighed from the other end of the phone, "I dunno how you're gonna take this, but Nikki has a girlfriend again." Tommy's words were like a slap in the face to me. I had never even considered the possibility that Nikki might have another girlfriend.
"What's she like?" I interrogated Tommy. Tommy breathed heavily into the phone, "She's pretty - very pretty. Her name is Selina. She has a quiet personality, but she's very kind and she seems to love Nikki quite a bit." I had a sudden impulse to throw the phone across the room. After taking a deep breath, I took control of my emotions and replied calmly into the phone, "Oh. I'm glad they found each other if they're such a good match then."
"Um, Amy?" Tommy asked apprehensively, "You don't have to fake any of that with me. I know you're jealous. You're easy for me to read." I rolled my eyes; it was impossible to keep secrets from Tommy.
"Okay fine, I am a little jealous, " I admitted. "Guess who came over to my house today though?" I asked Tommy to change the subject. Tommy thought a minute before saying, "I don't know...Mick maybe?"
"Nope!" I replied. "It was Beth Lynn. She came over to apologize. And oh my god, guess what?" Tommy laughed, "You're full of questions today, Amy. That's surprising that Beth Lynn came over to apologize. She was acting kinda weird on the tour. Anyways, what?" I couldn't help myself from telling Tommy the whole story about Beth Lynn, "She apologized because she had been cheating on Vince too. Isn't that ironic?"
"It sure is," Tommy agreed. "Listen, I've gotta go now. But I've been dying to see you, so maybe we can get together tomorrow?" I agreed excitedly, "Yeah, let's do that. What time works for you tomorrow?"
"Hm, let me check my calendar a second," Tommy replied. I waited patiently for him as he flipped through his calendar to figure out what his plans for tomorrow were. "Actually, the whole Crue is getting together at my house tomorrow at ten. Why don't you drop by then? You can come a little early if you want. Does that work for you?"
I thought for a moment before answering. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see the entire Crue. Seeing Tommy again would be great, but what about Nikki? I wasn't sure if I could face him. Especially now that he had a girlfriend. And what about Vince? I had no idea what the dynamics between us would be like now. For all I knew, he could've completely forgotten about me.
"Um, I guess that works," I replied reluctantly. Tommy quickly answered, "Great! I can't wait to seeya then. Bye Amy!" I heard him disconnect. I flipped the phone shut and plopped down lazily on my bed. I felt much better now that I had spoken to Tommy. Tommy always had a way of cheering me up. Now I just had to wait for tomorrow to come.



I sat on my bed the next morning, willing the time to go by faster. Unfortunately, it just seemed to drag by even slower. It was nine am. I wanted to go to Tommy's right now, but he had told me that the Crue was meeting at ten and that I could only come "a little" early. An hour was more than a little early. I was going to have to wait to leave for another half an hour at least.
I drummed my fingers impatiently on my nightstand and turned to look in the mirror. I didn't look too terrible. I had set my alarm for six am and had spend the last hours primping myself. Looking my best always gave me a burst of confidence. Confidence was something I lacked. Suddenly, my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. Eagerly, I pulled it out and flicked it open, "Hello?"
"Hey Ames!" Tommy's cheerful voice greeted me. "I'm really anxious to see you. Can you come over now if you're ready? I'd like to spend some time with you before the rest of the Crue gets to my house. We have a lot to discuss."
"I'm coming over right now!" I replied back enthusiastically as I jumped off the bed. "I've been dying of boredom over here. I'll be over in like five minutes or so." I snapped my phone shut, ran down the stairs, and flew out the door into the cloudless, sunny day outside. Pausing outside my car for a moment, I stopped and just looked at the beautiful day around me. Birds chirped cheerily from tree tops and flowers were beginning to bloom. Something told me that this was finally going to be a good day.
I jumped into my car and arrived at Tommy's less than five minutes later. Wasting no time, I popped the car door open and skipped up the steps to Tommy's front door. I rapped on it vigorously and waiting expectantly for Tommy to open the door. I only had to wait a minute before the door burst open and Tommy's smiling face appeared into view, "Amy! God, It's been so long. Don't be a stranger; come on in!" I stepped through Tommy's door and took a seat on the familiar worn-down couch. Tommy plopped down next to me and gave me a quick hug, "Hey Amy? Can you promise me something?"
"Sure," I replied. I trusted Tommy enough to know that he would never make me promise something that I wouldn't be able to commit to. Tommy sighed with relief, "Okay. Promise me you'll never ignore me like that again? It was terrible not knowing what had happened to you. I kept having this bad feeling that you got into a car accident or something." Another spasm of guilt surged through me. No matter how I tried, I always seemed to make a mess out of everything.
"Promise," I agreed. "I didn't mean to worry you, Tommy. I thought you'd be better off without me in your life." Tommy rolled his eyes at me, "You're always so paranoid, girl." Tommy was about to say something else, but was interrupted by a loud knocking on the front door. Tommy glanced at his watch, it was only nine twenty.
"Hm, I wonder who that is," Tommy contemplated as he rose from the couch and crossed the room to get the door. "Someone's pretty early." I crossed my fingers and hoped it wasn't Nikki. Tommy opened the door and a tanned, blonde haired man entered the room. My breath caught in my throat as the man turned around and gazed directly into my eyes; it was Vince.
Our eyes locked and slowly everything else around me started to disappear. I could feel so many emotions filling me as I gazed at the man who I had loved more than anything. Before I could count to three, Vince had rushed across the room and had thrown his arms tightly around me in a fierce grip. I slung my arms around his neck and pulled him close. I breathed in his familar scent and leaned against him. Tears of joy started spilling out of the corner of my eye.
"Why are you crying? You're not upset at me, are you?" Vince murmured as he stroked my hair.
"I'm just so happy," I replied with a smile, "I can't help it." I rubbed myself against Vince's chest. Vince gave a low moan and leaned down towards my mouth to kiss me. Just when our lips were millimeters apart, a loud cough sounded from the other side of the room. We jerked up and turned to see Tommy eying us disapprovingly. Vince rolled his eyes at me. A little giggle escaped my lips. Somehow I knew everything was going to be alright now.

Vince and I quickly forgot that Tommy was in the room with us. I clung to him tightly. Now that he was finally here with me again, I never wanted to let him go. Vince nuzzled me gently while I nestled against him. All the past days of misery and depression seemed to fade away. It was as if my heart and been dragged down with chains and now the chains were released.
Ding dong! The doorbell rang twice in a row. Vince and I completely ignored it, forcing Tommy to retrace his steps and open the door for the third time now. A familiar voice greeted Tommy, "Hey Tommy, how's it goin'?" It was Nikki's voice. I don't mistake that voice with anyone else's. Suddenly, I heard a new voice; one I had never heard before.
"Hello Tommy," a soft voice greeted politely. "I'm glad to see you've made it home alright from the tour. Did you have a nice trip?" I heard Tommy reply, "Yep, it was just fine. Thanks for asking, Selina." So this was Selina, Nikki's new girlfriend. I was tempted to break away from Vince's embrace so I could see what this new girl looked like. But I decided not to let Selina ruined my one moment of happiness. I could decide what to do about her later.
Finally, a third voice sounded from the doorway, "Whoa, it's only nine thirty, and somehow I'm the last one here!" Tommy chuckled, "Apparently everyone else decided to get here extra early. Anyways, come on in, Mick. You can take sit on the couch or chair or something." The three newcomers filed into the living room and arranged themselves around the small room. I heard a low voice mutter, "Cheating whore," under their breath.
Vince and I slowly separated and I looked up to see who had spoken. Nikki passed me and gave me a disgusted look. Hurt filled me up and almost overflowed out of me. I told myself not to cry; I was going to be strong. After all, why should I let Nikki ruin my day? I should just ignore him and let him be with Selina. She deserved him more than I did.
Nikki and Selina made their way over to the old, tattered chair in the corner of the room. Nikki took half of and Selina took the other half. Finally, I was able to get a good look at Selina as she turned around to face me. Tommy was absolutely right; the girl was gorgeous. She was about four inches shorter than Nikki had she had long, white-blonde, pin-straight hair. Her eyes were the color of sapphire, her skin was ivory, and she her lips were a soft pink. Selina was more beautiful than any of Nikki's past girlfriends. No wonder he liked her so much. Even though it was none of my business, I wondered if they had fucked yet.
Vince must've heard Nikki's comment because he put his lips to my ears and whispered, "I don't know how he can even attempt to call you that. He must've fucked two different girls every night after you left the tour." I stared at Vince incredulously. Fucking more than one person in a night kind of disgusted me, "Oh my god, are you serious, Vince?" Vince shot Nikki a condescending look and nodded, "Um hm, why would I lie to you?" I shrugged, still shocked.
Tommy cleared his throat and gave Vince and I a meaningful look, "Is there something you two would like to share with us?" I blushed and shook my head quickly. I could feel Nikki staring at me out of the corner of my eye. To my surprise, Vince replied to Tommy in an unexpected way, "Sure, there's something I'd like to share."
Tommy looked baffled, "All right then. Go ahead and tell us what you two are whispering about." Vince gaze Nikki a vengeful smile than began, "Well, first of all, Amy and I were discussing why Nikki had called her a cheating whore. I told her that he really had no right to do that after sleeping with more than one girl every night on the tour."
An intense silence filled the room. Mick looked completely shocked, Tommy stared at his feet uneasily, and Selina was staring at Nikki with a hurt look on her face. Nikki was looking across the room scornfully at Vince. Selina touched his hand gentle and asked in a gentle voice, "Is that actually true, Nikki?
Nikki tore his eyes away from Vince and turned to face Selina, "Yes, but that was before I met you, of course." Selina smiled and looked satisfied. Tommy quickly broke in before we could get into a further argument, "Anyways, we have a lot to discus. But first, I don't think Selina has met Amy yet, have you Selina?"
"No, I don't think I have," Selina stood up, crossed the room, and extended her hand to me. Even her hand was perfect. Her fingers were long and slim and her fingertips were a dark, blood red. Reluctantly, I shook her hand, "Hey Selina, it's nice to meet you. I'm Amy." Selina gave me a candid smile, "It's nice meeting you too. I've heard a lot about you. Tommy and Vince couldn't shut up about you." I turned to Vince and gave him a questioningly look. I was actually quite surprised he had talked about me after I had left the tour. After all, wouldn't he want to try to forget about me and make things work with Beth Lynn?
"How could I not talk about you?" Vince asked, pulling me back down onto the couch next to him. "You didn't even return my phone calls." I stared back at Vince with surprise, "You called me?" Vince gave me a look that seemed to say are-you-insane?
"Of course I called you! I figured you were ignoring me or something. Truthfully, were you ignoring me?" Vince asked nervously. I sighed miserably; apparently turning off my phone had been a big mistake. All I had gotten out of it was make Tommy worry about me and make Vince think I was ignoring him. Sometimes it seemed like I could never do anything right.
Tommy coughed loudly for the third time now. Apparently he wasn't interested in hearing about Vince and my love life. "So everyone, I need to let you know that we're switching band managers." Mick plopped down on the couch on my right side and gave Tommy a startled look, "Wait, why? I liked Allan. He's been my friend for a while." Tommy looked grave, "It's not that I didn't like Coffman, but apparently he's gone bankrupt."
"He's gone bankrupt?" Nikki echoed in surprise. "That's a shocker. I didn't see that coming. So what are we going to do now? Find a new manager?" Tommy nodded, "That's our only choice really. As a matter of fact, I already found us two new managers." Nikki smiled, "That was fast. We can always count on you, Tommy. So who are the new managers?"
"Doug Thaler and Doc McGhee. They're coming over here next week Wednesday. I said you'd all be here. You guys will be able to make it, right? It's pretty important that you all can meet them," Tommy stated emphatically. Mick grinned, "Of course we'll be here, Tommy. Right guys?" Nikki nodded and Vince shrugged.
I could feel Vince's arm creep around my shoulders as he pulled me closer to him. It felt weird to be sandwiched between Mick and Vince on the couch. The couch was meant for two people, not three, so we were all rather squished. I could see Tommy eying Vince and me out of the corner of his eye, but he kept his mouth shut.
"Also, I'm going to ask Doug to set up another tour for us," Tommy told us. "I'm thinking about calling it the 'Motley Crue World Tour'. What do you think?" Mick grinned, "That sounds awesome. I'd love to get out of the US for a change." Nikki laughed, "Let's go anywhere except for Canada. I don't think we'd be too welcome there."
I frowned; why would the Crue not be welcome in Canada? I thought the tour in Canada had gone quite well. The Crue had lots of publicity and we had collected several fans during our stay there. Maybe something had happened after I had left the tour? Unable to keep my curiousity inside, I turned to Vince with a confuzzled expression, "Why wouldn't you be welcome back in Canada?"
"Erm...we were supposedly 'banned' from the last city we performed at. Apparently we were causing too much discord after the whole incident at Edmonton Airport and the false bomb threat. Also, remember how Tommy threw the TV out the window?" Vince questioned me. I noticed Tommy turn bright red with embarrassment. I nodded to Vince's question, "Yeah, how could I not remember that? What about it?"
"There's a suspicion that someone from the Crue threw the TV out the window. There's no evidence, but the rumors seem to be going around quite quickly. So yeah, basically we're not welcome back in Canada," Vince explained with a twinkle in his sky blue eyes. Tommy changed the subject, looking humiliated, "I was thinking about started the tour after we release our next album. Speaking of which, how's that coming Nikki? Do you have all the song lyrics completed yet?"
Nikki didn't reply. The four of us turned and looked to see what Nikki was doing. He was kissing Selina gently on her lips. They looked so happy and peaceful together. I tried to ignore the jarring pain in my heart. Tommy was starting to get irritable that no one was paying attention. In a loud voice he yelled, "Nikki! Can you pay attention for just one second here?"
Surprised, Nikki and Selina jerked apart. Nikki looked sheepsih, "Sorry, Tommy. What where you saying?" Tommy rolled his eyes, "I was asking you if you had completed the lyrics for our new album yet."
"I'm working on it," Nikki replied. "I just need to finish Shout to the Devil and Hotter than Hell. I can work on it tomorrow if you want?" Tommy nodded appreciately, "That would be nice. I'd like to get this tour rolling, but we obviously can't start if we haven't completed the album." Mick nodded and converted the subject back to our new managers, "So have you met Doug or Doc yet, Tommy? Or did you hear about them on the web or something?"
I heard Vince sigh with boredom next to me. Vince was always so carefree; he never seemed to care about management or plans for the future. Vince sneaked a sly look and me and whispered in my ear, "Aren't you a little squished, Amy?" I nodded, "Hell yes!" Vince gave me a sexy smile and slid me onto his lap so he could hold me. The two of us had completely zoned out Tommy and Mick's conversation. I glanced over my shoulder to look at Vince. Unable to resist as usual, Vince leaned in and took my lips in front of everyone in the room.
I didn't feel nearly as guilty about kissing Vince after Beth Lynn's confession, but it still seemed wrong. Maybe I was just being paranoid though. After all, I wanted Vince and he wanted me; what was so wrong about that? The two of us continued to kiss. I felt Vince's golden locks brush against my face and I giggled softly, wrapping my arms around Vince's neck. My nipples started to perk as Vince pulled me closer to him and adrenaline started pounding through my veins.
"You guys are so disgusting!" a cross voice burst out from across the room, ruining our love session. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned around to see Nikki standing up and narrowing his eyes at us. Tommy glanced nervously between the two of us and tried to resolve the peace, "Um guys...let's not start a fight now, okay?" But it was too late.
Vince had stood up and had crossed the room so he was standing right in front of Nikki with fire blazing in his eyes, "Leave my girl alone. You've gotta learn to mind your own business, Nikki. I treat my girls better than you do anyways. I don't just fuck them for a few hours and then never talk to them again." Nikki glared at Vince, trying to think of some sort of retort.
Timidly, Tommy cut in, "Vince is right, Nikki. It really is Vince's and Amy's business, not yours. I'm not trying to be rude Nikki, but you're definitely overreacting." Tommy looked around the room for support and then turned to Mick, "Right, Mick?" A worried look spread across Mick's face and he merely shrugged. Mick obviously wanted to just try to stay out of the argument, which was probably the smartest thing to do.
Nikki's temper flared like usual, "I'm just trying to protect Amy. She hasn't even learned what love is yet." I glared at Nikki, suddenly enraged. How dare he try to suggest that I didn't love Vince? The only thing I was sure about in my life was that I loved Vince Neil more than anything and I couldn't stand living without him.
"How can you possibly say that?" I asked Nikki. "It's not like you can read my mind or you know if I'm in love or not." Nikki gave me a patronizing look, "You're still a virgin, Amy. Of course you don't know what love is." I could feel heat rising to my feet. Selina was giving me a surprised expression, "You're still a virgin? My god, I think I lost my virginity was I was fifteen!"
Exasperatedly, I rose to my feet to confront Nikki, "Why the hell do we need to be discussing my virginity? That's even less of your business. Why don't you just fucking leave me and Vince alone?" Nikki shrugged unchalantly, "If you say so." He grabbed Selina's arm and towed her towards the door, "See you guys later. I'll just leave you with your shit, Amy," Nikki jabbed before slamming Tommy's door shut behind him.
I sighed and leaned against Vince's chest. Wherever I went, I seemed to cause trouble. I felt Vince caress my neck, "Are you okay, sweetie?" I nodded. Having a lover always made everything better.


Two days later, I impatiently paced back and forth in the living room. It was eight am and I should be heading off to college. Vince had offered to pick me up and drop me at the college. He was planning to meet with the Crue to try out some of Nikki's new songs. I had particularly liked the lyrics to "I Will Survive", but I hadn't heard Vince sing any of them yet.
I tapped my foot on the floor and peered nervously at my watch. Behind late for college courses was not tolerated. Usually Vince was early; this was the first time he had ever been running late. I wondered what had held him up. He couldn't have got into a car accident, could he? I wandered back into the living room and flicked my phone open to get ready to dial Vince's number.
Just as I hit the "talk" button on the phone, a honk screeched from my driveway and Vince's shiny, black Porsche came into view. Sighing with relief, I swung my book bag over my shoulder and quickly headed out the door. I quickly crossed the driveway and hopped into the passenger seat of Vince's car, throwing my book bag behind me onto one of the backseats. As soon as I had shut the car door behind me, the strong scent of alcohol wafted to my nose.
I wrinkled up my nose and turned to Vince, "God, it smells like crap in here. Have you been drinking or something?" A guilty look crossed Vince's face, but he quickly replaced it with a smile, "Not any more than usual. Sorry I'm late. I was...erm...having problems at home." I waited curiously for Vince to go into more details about the "problems", but to my disappointment, he did not. I was tempted to ask him about it, but decided not to. It would only make me look nosy.
"It's okay," I reassured him, "We all have issues that slow us down at times. The college is only two minutes from here anyways." Just as I had predicted, we reached the college two minutes later. I peered up at the tall, brick building that loomed overhead. I had a calculus test today that I hadn't studied for. My stomach twisted uneasily.
"Is this it?" Vince asked as he parked by the front door. I nodded, trying to put the upcoming test out of my mind. Vince must've noticed my unease because he quickly parked the door, opened my door, and gave me a little hug as I stepped outside.
"Want to do something after you finish your college course in a few hours? Maybe we could go back to your house and hang out? I'd invite you over to mine but that might be a little awkward..." Vince suggested. My spirits lifted quickly; having Vince over would definitely be something to look forward to. It would work as my incentive to get through the damned calculus exam.
"Yeah, that would be great," I replied cheerfully, "Can you pick me back up around eleven or so?" Vince nodded, "Sure! By the way, I can tell something's bothering you. Wanna tell me what it is?" I hesitated and debated whether or not to tell Vince about my upcoming test. It was a really important test. After all, it counted for one third of my final grade. But Vince didn't really need to know about it, and I didn't want to seem paranoid. I shrugged, "Not really. Don't worry though, it's nothing."
Vince gave me a an enticing smile and replied, "Aw, come on, sweetheart! I'm gonna worry if you don't tell me." He tightened his grip around my waist and started kissing my neck. I giggled nervously and tried to slap him away, "We really shouldn't be doing this in public, Vince." Vince completely ignored me and began sucking down on my neck harder. I couldn't help but kiss him back.
Just then, Jessica Smith walked across the sidewalk. Jessica was the prettiest, most popular girl at the high school. Normally, she completely ignored me. I was considered "beneath" her status at school. But today, Jessica walked straight towards me and Vince with her perfectly glossed lips in a seductive smile. I felt a little urge of panic run through me as Vince's lips moved up and down my neck. What could Jessica possibly want from me?
"Hi there, Amanda!" Jessica greeted me as she stood on the sidewalk next to me. Vince pulled away from me to see who this newcomer was. Completely bewildered, I corrected Jessica, "It's Amy, not Amanda." Jessica laughed lightly and quickly tried to correct her mistake, "Oops, of course! How silly of me to get it confused. Do you want to walk to calculus class with me?"
Truthfully, I didn't want to walk with Jessica anywhere. She could be mean at times and she was notorious for her red hot temper. On the other hand, it would seem rude if I didn't agree to walk with her. Unwillingly, I shrugged, "Okay."
"Great!" Jessica smiled and took my hand, pulling me along with her. Vince gave me one last peck on the lips before relinquishing me to her. Jessica gave Vince a little wave as their eyes met. I didn't like the look they exchanged; it was filled with way to much interest. I walked faster, now dragging Jessica along with me.
As soon as Vince was out of earshot, Jessica turned to me an exclaimed, "How many other hot guys do you know?" I pulled away from her in shock. Then realization dawned on me; Jessica was after Vince. I gave Jessica a hard look, "I have a few friends. I don't know if you'd consider then 'hot' or not though." Jessica shrugged and kept the subject going, "Well, that one was sure good looking. What's his name?" Reluctantly, I replied, "That's Vince Neil. But he's not single so..." I hoped Jessica would take the hint to stay away from Vince. Unfortunately, she persisted, "Why's he not single? Is he your boyfriend or something?"
"No," I lied quickly, "he's married." Jessica's eyebrows shot up with surprise, "Oh, really? You were kissing him though. Haha, you're such a little slut, Amy!" I bit my lip, and kept myself from retorting. Luckily, we reached the calculus class just then. Hurriedly, I entered the room and took a seat at the far end of the room. Jessica took a seat at the opposite of the room. I silently thanked god for that and prepared for myself for the exam. Taking a few deep breaths, I peered down the text in front of me. I could do this; it appeared to be only a review of what we had learned from first semester. And besides, after this, Vince was coming home with me!



Three hours later, I had finished the exam and was making my way through the crowd of college students to the door. To my surprise, the exam had been rather easy. I feld confident that I had done fairly well on it. I hummed a little tune as I strode out of the stuffy college and out into the sunny day outside. While I scanned for Vince's familiar black Porsche, two figures caught my eye. One was my blonde haired angel and the second was none other than Jessica. I narrowed my eyes and hurried towards them. What the hell was Jessica up to? Couldn't she just stay out of my already complicated life?
Jessica must've seen me approach because she took a step backwards from Vince and gave him one last smile, "It was nice talkin' to you. Seeya around!" Vince returned the smile, "Yeah, seeya Jess!" Jess? Vince was already using her nickname? I felt my blood start to boil; Jessica had no right to go messing around with Vince.
Now in a bad mood, I swung into the car and violently slammed the car door shut behind me. Vince entered the car door next to me and gave me a puzzled expression, "Hey, are you okay? You look pretty upset." I ignored Vince's question and watched Jessica walk away from us. I could tell Vince was watching her out of the corner of his eye as well. Jessica most certainly had sex appeal; she was wearing a short miniskirt that exposed most of her tanned legs and a tank top that showed off her belly button piercing. Without moving my eyes away from Jessica, I questioned Vince, "What was she talking to you about?"
"Jessica?" Vince asked. "Not much. She was just introducing herself." I sighed miserably, "Hm." Seeing that this was a sore topic, Vince quickly changed courses, "So how was your class today?"
"It actually seemed pretty easy," I replied, trying to forget about Jessica. "I think I did well, but that's just my speculations. I couldn't done terrible for all I know." Vince laughed as we pulled into my driveway, "I'm sure you did fine. You're constantly stressing about these kinds of things. Just let it go for once!" We exited the car and meandered up to my doorway. As I opened the door, Vince shot me a worried look, "Are your parents home? I don't think I've met them before."
"Nah, they're not home," I replied thankfully. It was never easy introducing my friends to my parents. They were always so suspicious anyone I brought into their house. It was as if they expected me to befriend convicted criminals or something! Vince sighed with relief and followed me inside. The two of us tromped up to my bedroom door and locked the door behind us.
"So how was your visit at Tommy's?" I asked casually as I collapsed onto the bed. Vince sat down next to me, "It was fine. Nikki's a talented songwriter. He's quite an asshole though. Damn, all he does is sit there and glare at me the whole time we're practicing. It's kind of creepy." I laughed, "That's Nikki for you. He's been a little argumentative lately."
Vince gave me an incredulous look, "A little? I'd say he's been more than a little argumentative." I shrugged, "Yeah, I suppose so." Vince suddenly grabbed my waist and pulled backwards so I was lying on my back on the bed. Vince's tongue ran over his lips as he stared at me lying supine on the bed, "You're my sinful emancipation, you know that girl?" I grabbed Vince's wrist and pulled him down on the bed next to me so we were lying side by side. Vince wrapped around me and rolled on top of me so he could get access to my lips. Before he could kiss me, I wound my arms around his neck and pulled him close. Immediately, I inhaled the strong scent of whiskey. No doubt Vince had been drinking again.
Before I started kissing him, I reprimanded, "You've been drinking more. What's up with that?" Vince gave me an irresistible smile and pressed his lips to my throat. I dropped the subject; I was in no mood to argue at the moment. As Vince sucked down on my throat, I easily peeled of his thin tank top. I nestled myself against him and let my lips suck at each of his nipples until my heart was content. Vince lifted me up an inch so he could strip my shirt. I flopped in his arms, limp like a doll.
Vince flung my shirt to the ground and began fingering the edges of my red and white striped bra, "This is cute," he murmured softly. "Is it new?" I rolled my eyes at him as he began licking around the edges of it, "Just get the damn thing off, Vince! I hate it when you tease me like this!" Vince gave me a sly smile and slide his tongue under my bra until he reached my nipple. The two of us sucked on each other for a long time. We were in no hurry. After all, we had all night together...right?
After about ten minutes, an alarmingly loud beeping sounded from next Vince. Vince swore and rolled onto his side to glance at his cell phone. As he gazed at the number, his eyes opened wide in dismay, "Shit! I'm suppose to be somewhere right now." Vince jumped off the bed and pulled his tank top back on.
I rolled into a sitting position and narrowed my eyes at him, "Where are you going in such a hurry?" Vince looked guiltily at the ground and didn't respond for a few seconds. Suspicious rose in me and I pressed on, "So? What are you going?" Finally, Vince responded, "Uh...just some party. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, okay?"
"Fine," I agreed reluctantly, "So you're just gonna leave me here like this? You tease me and then you leave me. Great." A genuine smile spread across Vince's face, "Sorry baby, I'll come back tomorrow night. I'm positive I don't have anything going on then." I shrugged, "Okay, you better." Then an idea popped into my head, "Hey, can I come to the party with you?"
Vince looked alarmed and said, "No!" a little too quickly. Vince was acting queer; I knew something was up, "Why not?" I asked him. Vince sighed and pulled me door open, "Listen, I'll tell you later. I've really gotta go." With that, he disappeared and shut the door behind me. I sighed and laid back down on the bed, still half-naked. Something was definitely wrong with Vince or I had become crazily paranoid. But where was Vince really going tonight? And why wasn't I allowed at the party?
I sighed irritably and flicked my phone open for the fourth time in a row. I was trying to reach Vince, but apparently he was either busy or ignoring me. My heart seemed to twist into a knot as I thought about the last four days. Ever since Vince had gone to the "party" he had been acting strange. Whenever I called him, he invented petty excuses to avoid spending time with me. As a matter of fact, I hadn't seen him since he had gone to the party.
Today, the Crue members and I were going to Tommy's house to meet our new managers. I was excited for this occasion; hopefully Tommy would be able to get our new managers to start setting up the World Tour for us. Nikki had completed all the song lyrics and now the band just needed practice.
I was attempting to call Vince ahead of time to see if maybe he would go out with me somewhere after the meeting at Tommy's. My heart fet like it was shriveling up without him around. I needed to figure out what was going on with Vince and why he was avoiding me. I had a suspicion that Vince might be having problems with Beth Lynn, but that was just a theory.
After punching Vince's familiar phone number into my phone, I brought to the phone and listening to the ringing. Six rings went by; shit, Vince wasn't going to pick up. To my surprise, on the seventh ring, Vince's voice finally sounded from the other end of the phone, "Hello?" I sighed with relief and answered back, "Hey Vince! I didn't think you were gonna pick up. So I was wondering, do you want to do something after the meeting at Tommy's this afternoon? It doesn't seem like we've done much together lately. I really miss you." An uncomfortable silence sounded from the other side of the phone. Something was definitely wrong.
"Wait, you're going to the meeting at Tommy's? I thought it was just for the Crue members," Vince stated a-matter-a-factly. This was not the kind of response I had been expecting from him. He had completely ignored my question and from what he had just said, it appeared that he didn't want me at the meeting.
Completly befuddled, I replied in a confused tone, "Um, I was planning on going to Tommy's this afternoon. I don't think I would be a distraction. Besides, Tommy invited me. Do you not want me to come or something?"
"I don't think I'm gonna be able to go to the meeting," Vince answered back. Disappointment welled up inside me. I had been really looking forward to seeing Vince today, and now he wasn't coming. Suddenly, an idea formed in my mind. Vince had only said he wasn't going to the meeting after I told him I was going. Could it be possible that he wasn't going because of me?
"What the hell is up with you, Vince?" I shot back at him, rather annoyed now. I hated playing these stupid games with Vince. If something was wrong, I just wanted him to tell me. I'd be a good listener and I'd be understanding.
"Uh..." Vince trailed off nervously, unsure of what to say. "I've really gotta go now Amy, seeya around I guess?" I was really quite angry now, "How can you say 'seeya around' when you're avoiding me at all costs? Can't you just tell me what's going on? Do you not like me or something anymore? I know I haven't been the best girlfriend, but I love you and miss you."
"Just forget, Amy," Vince replied shortly. "Nothing's going on that concerns you." I hated the way he said "nothing that concerns you." Anything that went on in his life concerned me. I cared more about him more than anything. It was like he was part of me now. Getting fed up, I retorted, "That's bullshit, Vince. I know it, and you know it." My voice started to crack and hot, angry tears filled my eyes, "You know what, Vince? You just forget it. Forget me and forget all of this. It's just a stupid, fucking mess!" I slammed the phone shut and stomped into the kitchen.
To my horror, my mother was waiting in the kitchen with her arms folded crossly across her chest. I gulped apprehensively and tried to move around her, "Do you need something, mom?" My mother narrowed her eyes at me, "Yes, I do. I need you to start watching your language a bit more. Who were you talking to just now?"
I rolled my eyes and decided to just tell my mother the truth, "Vince Neil, from the Crue." My mom lifted an eyebrow and gazed at me suspiciously, "Vince Neil, hm. Is he your boyfriend or something?" I shrugged my shoulders, "Not anymore. Why do you care about any of this though, mom? Can't you just leave my love life alone?"
My mom shook her head and glared at me, "No, I can't. You're not making good choices with it for one thing and you're being completely immoral for another thing." Immoral? Why was my mother calling me immoral? I hadn't been doing anything that would be considered immoral. I was still a virgin for god's sake!
"Mom, I'm not being immoral. And my choices are up to me whether you agree with them or not. So can we end this discussion now please?" I begged. The last thing I needed to do was discuss my precarious love life with my overprotective mother.
"No, we cannot end this discussion," my mother snapped back. "You are going to listen to every last word I have to say. First of all, Vince Neil cannot be your boyfriend. Did you not tell me that the girl who visited us a week ago was his wife?" A lump formed in my throat and I stared at me feet nervously. I had completely forgotten that I had told my mother that Vince Neil was married. Now she knew that I was having an affair with a married man too. Great. My mom leaned down so she was gazing straight into my eyes. In a gentler tone she probbed, "Amy?"
All my fury came bursting out of me, "Yes, I did say that, mom. Vince Neil is married. But I've had enough of his shit so to hell with our whole relationship. Fuck it all!" I turned and ran upstairs with tears streaming down my face. Luckily, my mother didn't follow me. As soon as I reached my room, I toppled onto my bed and burried my face in my black and white polka-dotted pillow. Sometimes, everything in life just seemed to fall apart.



Two hours later, I stood in front of the mirror, adjusting a silver chain necklace around my neck. I had cleaned up after my breakdown from earlier and was now adding the final touches to my appearance. Even with five pounds of makeup on my face, it was still quite obvious I hate been trying. My cheeks were still a pink shade and my eyes looked swollen and puffy. I added a little more eyeliner to the corner of my eyes in an attempt cover up the swolliness.
I took one last look in the mirror before truding gloomily down the stairs. My mom was sitting on the couch, eyeing me with an emotionless expression. I hoped she wouldn't stop and lecture me. I had to get to Tommy's and I really didn't think I could put up with another of her orations at the moment. After grabbing my tall black boots and purse, I quickly headed out the front door before my mother had a chance to stop me.
I shuffled over to my jetta and plopped in the front seat. As I pulled out of the driveway and took the familiar path to Tommy's, an uneasy thought occured to me. Was there any point in going to Tommy's without Vince being there? I didn't want to face another long afternoon with Nikki. All he did was give me dirty looks and cuss at me when opportunites arose. I almost stopped, turned the car around, and headed back home. But the vision of Tommy's face in my mind kept me driving on. Tommy was always so happy to see me and truth be told, I was really anxious to see him. I was going to tell Tommy about Vince and ask for advice. I needed someone's opinion on the situation.
Five minutes later, I pulled up in Tommy's driveway. I hesitanted before climbing out of car. Peering around, I noticed that Nikki's car was already parked in Tommy's garage. Shit! I had planned to talk to Tommy about Vince before Nikki arrived. Apparently, I had not been early enough for that. With a heavy heart, I trapised up to Tommy's doorway and dejectedly knocked.
There was no answer. That was strange; Tommy always answered the door immediately. I knocked again, but a little harder this time. There was still no reply. I was feeling a little anxious now; where the hell was Tommy? Apprehensively, I tried the doorknob. It swung open silently. I crept through the doorway, hoping that Tommy wouldn't consider this an intrusion.
To my surprise, Nikki was watching me curiously from the couch. I didn't really want to have to speak to him, but I really did need to know where Tommy was. After putting up a mask of courtesy, I questioned Nikki, "Where's Tommy? He's here, isn't he?" Nikki nodded, "Yeah, he's on the phone with the Doug guy. Apparently, he got lost on his way over here or something."
"Oh," I replied back, unsure of what else to say. I awkwardly stood by the doorway. I knew better than to go sit by Nikki. As if reading my thoughts, Nikki gave me a little grin and pointed to the seat next to him on the couch, "Come sit by me, Amy. Tommy might be a while. Doug seems to be a hopeless case with directions."
I gave Nikki a strange look. Now he was acting weird too! Only a day ago, he had wanted nothing to do with me. But today, he was smiling at me and asking me to sit by him. Suspicious, I inquired, "Why do you want me to sit by you? Aren't you saving that spot for Selina?" Nikki shook his head, "Nah. I broke up with Selina. You shouldn't be seeing her around anymore."
Still rather suspicious, I hesitantly took the seat next to take and gazed over at him, "Why'd you break up with Selina?" Nikki shrugged, "Meh, she wasn't my type of girl. She didn't have much of a personality. She was definitely pretty to look at, but that was it. So how have you been doing?"
"Erm...okay," I lied. Nikki didn't need to know about all the problems I was having at home and the problems with Vince. After all, that was my personal business. Curiously, I turned back to Nikki, "Why do you ask that?" Nikki blushed slightly, "I dunno. I was just wondering how you were doing with your whole breakup with Vince and all."
My eyebrows shot up in surprise; how did Nikki know about me and Vince? I knew Vince and I were having problems, but we hadn't "officially" broken up exactly. Giving Nikki my full attention, I asked, "So how did you know about me and Vince? I didn't know he was blabbing out information about me..."
Nikki reddened even more, "Well, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out what happened. I saw Vince with some girl at the 7th Veil two nights ago. They were getting pretty drunk. Plus, I haven't seen you and Vince together lately. So I put two and two together and assumed you two broke up." My face paled and my heartbeats slowed with shock; Vince had been cheating...on me? Nikki took one look at my expression, then added nervously, "Well, that is what happened, isn't it?"
It took me a moment before I regained my voice and asked in a weak voice, "Um...sorta. Vince and I hadn't exactly broken up though. He's just been avoiding me. But tell me, what did that girl he was with look like? And what's the 7th Veil?" Nikki's eyes widened, "Well, the girl was really tan. I didn't get a good look at her, but I thought she was pretty. And the 7th Veil is just some club." Suddenly, Nikki comprehended what I had just said, "Wait...so you haven't broken up with Vince yet?" I shook my head miserably and put my head in my hands.
"Fuck him!" Nikki bursted out angrily. "Damn, this is just a mess. First, you two go and cheat on Beth Lynn. Later we find out that Beth Lynn is cheating on Vince. And now, Vince is cheating on you." I flinced at Nikki's words. I knew I should've expected something like this from Vince. I just hadn't wanted to face the reality.
"Can't you just find some other guy to love?" Nikki asked in exasperation. "Just forget that bastard and move on for god's sake, Amy!" I narrowed my eyes and started to retort, but Nikki placed a finger against my lips and added, "I really don't want to hear your excuses. I know you love him, but he's not worth it. You know, there are people who actually love you out there besides Vince Neil." I peered searchingly into Nikki's eyes, trying to figure out his point. Before I could ask him what he meant, Nikki leaned forward and took my lips into his. I sat completely frozen as Nikki worked his lips over my mouth. My head was spinning with confusion. Had Nikki actually forgiven me? Was he going to give me another chance with him?
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