I open the big wooden doors to see people sitting in a circle it is always the same people no one has made any changes. I look around to see someone new I seen a guy with medium black hair with hazel eyes I don’t know what it was but I couldn’t help but stare I never done with other guys so why with him. I shook my head and walk over to the chair next to him, just then the nurse women walk in.
“Good morning everyone” She said with a smile as she sit down
No on said anything no one ever does it’s like their to afraid to talk I just keep silence I have nothing to say cause everything I say is a lie.
“Today we have a new patient his name is Gerard, normally we would have them telling something about their selves but he doesn’t really talk so were just going to move on” She replied
I look over to him he was not looking at anyone but the wall maybe his a crazy person. His skin was pale white like a ghost almost but I could not help but think how pretty he really was. My mind stop I could not believe I just thought that I do not like guys I am not gay. I do not have a problem with gay people it is just I am not gay I like girls at least I think I do.
After an hour group therapy was over I could not be more happy I hated it I do not see the point of having one no one ever says anything it is a waste of time. I walk to the sun deck we have I lied when I said I only stay in my room like I said you cannot believe what I say. As I walk outside, I saw Gerard sitting on the wall looking at the sky.
Part of me wanted to talk to him but I could not I did not need to make friends I was happy the way I am. I couldn’t get him off my mind I wanted to know so much about him I hated that I was thinking like this, before I knew it I was at the wall I don’t remember how I even got here. I look over to see him still looking at the sky I wonder what he was thinking. I seen him look over at me I turn away and look at the sky I didn’t won’t him to know I was looking at him but I think he already knew. As I was looking at the sky I head him speak,
“Why do you lie?”
I was lost for words I just stared at him with a blank look on my face how did he know I lied, no one had ever ask me that question just by looking at me. I did not know what to think no thought were going through my mind everything was blank. He looks at me waiting for me to say something but I could not say anything I did not really know what to say. Finally, after what seem forever I said something,
“What makes you think I lie?” I ask finally
“I can see it in your eyes,” He said while still looking at me
“How I don’t understand,” I said in confusion
“I just can I can’t explain it, so why do you,” He ask again
“I just love lying it’s like a drug I can’t stop” I replied
“You can stop you just don’t won’t to stop” He said
I did not say anything I just kept staring at the sky he was right I think I could stop if I wanted too but I just do not I love lying too much. I really did not know what to say he knows me so well but he never meant me before it was weird.
“Why are you in here?” I ask while changing the subject
“ I never eat. Every time I try to eat all I think about is getting fat” He whisper
Not one ounce of fat was on him I can see his bones on his arm, his skin was so pale. For a moment I felt bad for him but I push that feeling away. After we talk I headed back to my room I couldn’t get him out of my mind, I tried to get him out. I wanted him out of my mind I was not going to let him make me feel this way, a feeling I can’t explain. I lay on my bed the thoughts of Gerard started to fade away, I almost started to think about changing who I am.
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