But nothing would change the fact that the growing fetus inside me was his. He was the only one I had slept with an a while. I sighed as I came closer. I could turn around, head back home, and decide to what to do with my baby. I could raise it on my own, and he would never know. There’s was no way I would get rid of it, that’s just too cruel. And adoption, well that’s cruel too. I was keeping it, even if the father was a complete stranger. I’ll bet my mother will love this…
“Just do it. Don’t be a puss, and just do it.” I said to myself as I rang the door bell and choked on my own breath. I looked around before the door opened and I braced myself as I was prepared to face him, but I sighed in relief as it wasn’t him. This man looked slightly older than me. 26 at the most, while I was merely 23.
“Can I help you?” he asked analyzing my stature as I stuttered.
“No, I’m sorry, I must have the wrong address, I’m looking for someone. I apologize.” I said quickly.
“Wait, are you by any chance looking for Chris? Cause he’s just inside.” he illustrated by pointing to the door.
“He is?” I frowned. So much for my great escape. He nodded and motioned me to come in as I slowly followed him inside. I scanned the house and what appeared to be a bachelor’s pad. Leather couch, plasma TV, pictures of New York and of course Las Vegas. I felt myself get sick again at the thought. I sighed to myself as the man guided me to the kitchen and I froze as he stood there. His back was turned to me, but there’s was no mistaking his head shape and his still short brown hair as he twiddled with a spoon. I looked down awkwardly as the man called his attention as he turned and smiled at me before his jaw seemed to tense. Oh God…
“Lynai?” he said carefully and I nodded slowly.
“You remembered.” I said softly. He nodded.
“Of course, I’ve been looking for you, but I had no way to reach you, you disappeared.” he replied quietly.
“I didn’t know what to do. I never do what I did. Get drunk and then go back home with someone I don’t know.” I said sarcastically.
“Hey, you and me both.” he held his hand out smoothly. “I don’t usually do great, spontaneous, phenomenal things…” he smiled as I half smiled back.
“Chris, we we’re drunk.” I pointed out again. “But yes…it was.” I said nodding. I could never deny it.
“So how long has it been?” he asked and I shrugged.
“Three months.” I said quietly and looked around. “Do you mind if I have some of those, my stomach is not so good.” I asked politely but already grabbing a stack of crackers from the counter.
“Yeah help yourself, are you thirsty?” he said opening up the fridge. “I have…water.” he said awkwardly as I can see from my point of view he needed a good grocery shopping trip since it was practically empty.
“Water’s good.” I smiled as he handed a water bottle and I leaned against the counter.
“You have a nice place.” I said while nibbling on my cracker.
“Thank you. It’s a gift from my parents when I turned 19. Though I’m guessing they just wanted me out of the house.” he smiled once more and I still fell for it like I did that night. His pink lips so soft, it would be the death of me.
“You look great.” he said motioning his hands to me.
“Thank you.” I mumbled.
“How have you been?” he asked and I looked at him.
“Pregnant.” I replied quietly and he seemed to frown.
“Oh…congratulations. That’s terrific .” he smiled.
“Thank you, it’s yours.” I added and watched him get the water bottle from my hands and closed his eyes as he slowly drank all of it as I watched in amazement.
“Mine?” I nodded.
“But we were together only one night.” he said in confusion.
“That’s all it took.” I replied.
“But I thought I used a condom.” he pointed out and I shook my head.
“Obviously it didn’t work.” I replied and he stuttered.
“But that’s what they’re made for!” he retorted and I sighed as I ate another cracker. He gave me a certain look and I scoffed as I got what he was telling me.
“Trust me, I wouldn’t drive 7 hours here if there’s was the slightest chance you weren’t the father.” I retorted as he seemed to tense.
“But…” he trailed off and I stood up straight. This was a mistake.
“Look I’ve thought about this a lot. There’s really only one thing for me to do here.” I said softly. He seemed to ease up and looked straight at me.
“Oh…I completely understand. I respect your decision.” he said nodding.
“You do?” I questioned carefully.
“I’ve always believed in a woman’s right to choose..” he replied and I glared at him.
“Well that’s good, because I choose on keeping it.” I retorted.
“Oh…” was all he said and I shook my head and sighed.
“Look I didn’t come here for your money, or some sort of compensation.” I said taking a couple steps backwards from the counter.
“I just thought I’d do the honorable thing and come here to tell you, in person, that I am pregnant, and I plan on keeping it, and that it’s yours.” I whispered looking at him as he still stuttered on his words, it was quite annoying really.
“Chris! I’m feeling neglected out there.” a girl smiled as she came inside with a red dress and matching stilettos. I sighed as I shook my head.
“I thought we’re going to dinner?” she smiled and I looked away awkwardly. I should have known…
“Michael, can you give me a second?” he asked softly and I shook my head I put my purse on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry I came at a bad time.” I said softly. “I’ll show myself out.” was all I had to say as I walked out and back into my car and sighed as I dropped my head on the steering. I knew I was just wasting my time.
“Fuck.” I muttered to myself as I gasped when the door opened and Chris, the girl, and whoever the guy was walked out, and I involuntarily started the car and pulled away from the curb and drove away further and further away from the place I should’ve never came back to…
I sighed as I let my feet hang over the Dam. It was so large and so deep down, it would kill you instantly when if should fall…I shook my head as I reached for my phone and looked around. The dam was right in the middle of the road of where Nevada officially became Arizona, or Arizona officially became Nevada, which ever direction in you’re in..
“Hello?” Katie’s voice answered and I closed my eyes as I tried to speak.
“I fucked up Katie.” I sighed.
“Did you forget your pills again? Honestly Lynai, how hard is it to put in your bag the night before?” Katie mumbled as I gasped.
“Uh excuse me, I did in fact manage to take my pills today, and that’s not why I’m calling!” I retorted.
“Then what?” she asked softly.
“I went to see him. I’m in Arizona.” I mumbled.
“Arizona? What the hell are you doing? And the who the hell did you go see?”
“I’m here to see Chris.” I sighed.
“Chris who? Oh…wait, Chris as the dude from Vegas, AKA the father of your child?!” she shouted.
“Yes. I had to tell him about the baby.”
“Well what did he say?”
“He…I don’t even know. When I got there he was with some chick and some dude, and I just left after I told him. I said I wanted to do the right thing and tell him in person.”
“Oh my god…well what now? Are you coming home?” she asked softly. I shook my head, even though she couldn’t see it.
“No. I’m going to finish my photography out here, get some more photos. There’s a lot to see. It’ll be good for my portfolio.” I replied.
“Okay, but if you need a place, remember my cousin Lana lives in Arizona. I can call her and set up arrangements, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind, after all we did get drunk together when were 17.” she laughed slightly and I chuckled.
“I really don’t want to discuss the fact that I’m a complete dumbass when I drink.” I smiled.
“You’re just impulsive.” she retorted as I laughed.
“Shut up.” I mumbled and looked down at the Dam. I’m really glad I wore tennis shoes and not my favorite pair of boots. Stuff is slippery.
“Hey listen, I got to go. I’m due for a really important meeting in an hour. Hopefully I’ll be 10 times richer than I already am…oh wait I’m not rich so I really need this.” she laughed.
“Okay. Good luck and call me later. Hopefully you won’t find my dead body in the Dam on the news.”
“Please don’t even attempt to joke about that.” she sighed.
“Fine. Call me later. Ciao.” I smiled before hanging up and stuffing my phone in my pocket. I leaned against the wall and crossed my legs before swing them in front of me as I watched the sun get closer and closer to fading. I mentally reached for my camera and snapped a few shots of the mountains and blue sky. I was losing myself in a peaceful feeling and forgetting the fact that I felt sick to my stomach as I held it down.
“You’re killing me here.” I sighed as I looked down at my stomach. I wasn’t really showing, I’m guessing from all the vomiting I do. Being pregnant is not comparable with my lifestyle…but I deal with it. Just like everything else in my imperfect life. I put my camera away and let my mind drift away as I watched several clouds pass by, messy and distorted yet beautiful.
“Oh my god Lynai, don’t jump!” I heard someone say and I scoffed as I turned around and it was…Chris. He looked flustered and nervous. I glared.
“What are you doing here?”
“Just stay off the ledge there.” he said concerned.
“I’m not going to kill myself you idiot, but if you come any closer I’ll throw your ass over.” I retorted.
“Hey now wait a minute, you walked out on me at 7:00 in the morning and I never heard from you again. Now months later, you show up and say your pregnant, and I’m supposed to know exactly what do? Well I’m sorry I don’t…know exactly what to do.” he trailed off.
“That’s the best thing you’ve said all day.” I whispered as he looked at me softly before looking around.
“Wow.” he sighed. “This place is amazing.” I smiled softly.
“I love it here.” I sighed. “You know my great grandfather helped build this?” I said motioning to the smooth very deep surface. “Came here from Yucatan when he was in his 30’s.” I smiled.
“Wow.” he replied. “Where?” he asked confused.
“Central Mexico.” I smiled as he nodded.
“My great grandma still lives out there in a hacienda that’s 400 years old. Every time I come back from visiting there, I make a wish with a coin and toss it just about there.” I said pointing not to far from where we were sitting.
“Do they ever come true?” he asked softly and I looked at him.
“Depends on the wish.” I replied as it got awkward for a tiny second.
“My father’s gonna kill me.” I whispered as I looked away from him.
“He doesn’t know?” he said sitting next to me while I shook my head.
“No one does. Only my best friend Katie.”
“My father can be a very passionate man when it comes to his only daughter.”
“Lynai, what can I do?” he whispered and I looked at him and shook my head once more.
“I can do it.” I offered finally.
“No…I would like to help. Really.” he said softly and I half smiled at him.
“Well maybe there’s one thing.”
“What?” he asked.
“Meet my parents…?”