Categories > Original > Humor > Dreamcatchers And Mysterious Powers

Chapter 3 Weird Breakfast Conversation

by orieo82 0 reviews

Breakfast in the Thornberry household has never sounded weirder

Category: Humor - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2010-03-05 - Updated: 2010-03-06 - 1683 words

0Unrated
As the family treked down the stairs Eliza stopped Percefany a couple steps short of the kitchen.

Eliza: Look Percef, the rest of the family has no idea you can talk to the animals, but me and your father and I'd like to try and keep it that way.

John(Screaming) Sister Mary Mother Of Joeseph girl what did you do to your hair?

Eliza: The less he knows the better about that subject, now back to animal talking.

Percefany: It's fine mom the animal mojo will be a minimum.

When Eliza opened then door Nora and John were going at it.

Nora: I will not color my hair back you dictator.

John: And I'm not having a daughter with blue hair.

Nora: Just be lucky I didn't color it hot pink.

John(Angry) Hot- pink- I mean look at it, people are going to think your a freak.

Nora: You said the F word would not be used in this house.

John: Wait until your mother sees it.

Eliza: See's what?

John: What our sweet little girl did.

Nora(Flipping her hair at him) Get used to it because I'm piercing my navel too.

John(Rising) The hell you are, I'm putting my foot down at tatoos and piercings.

Nora: Then keep your eyes off my pretty back, because Eeyore will stare back at you.

Mr. Mittens(Pouncing) There she is, the girl who scared me during my breakfast, payback time.

Shadow: Uhh we should keep both of our eyes on him I'm thinking.

Eliza: Now John we did say express ypur individuality, that's what she's doing.

Mr. Mittens(Jumping on April's shoelaces) Take that, and that, and a little bit of this you meany.

April swung her foot back and forth as Mr. Mittens clung on tighter hissing at her.

Shadow: I told you to watch him.

Mr. Mittens(Climbing up Arpil's pant leg) Try my claws on for size you big bully.

April(Screaming) Owwwwwwwwwww cat on my leg, cat on my leg, cattt on my legggg.

Eliza: Percef now there going to learn another Thornberry secret.

Eliza got down on her hands and knees and crawled under the table.

Eliza: I think she get's the point now let go of the scratching post for awhile.

Mr. Mittens lifted his paws and fell to the floor licking his paws as the kids all had surprised looks on their faces.

Eliza: All right everyone it's explanation time, the fact is your father, Percefany, and I can communicate with animals.

Shadow: Now tell the ear, fur, and tail puller that I'm sleeping in your room.

Percefany: Uhh MiMi Shadow said he'd prefer to sleep in my room.

MiMi(Mouth dropping) What else did he tell you?

Percefany: That your an ear, fur, and tail puller.

MiMi: So's Nora I'm not the only one.

Shadow: No it's the blonde girl, she's bad news.

MiMi(Excited) What is he saying?, what is he saying.

Percefany: He says your bad news.

MiMi: I always hated him and his whimpering ways.

Shadow: Can I just nibble on her ankle for awhile?

Percefany: Not unless you want my mom coming down on you next.

Shadow(Panting) Ohhhhhhhh I see hamburger's, slip me one under the table, the blonde one always does.

MiMi: What's he saying now?

Percefany: That he wants to nibble on your ankles, and that you slip him sausage under the table.

Shadow: But that isn't sausage it's a hamburger, a round tasty hamburger.

Percefany: I know it looks like a hamburger, but I hate to break this to you pup, it's sausage.

MiMi: I only slip him food if I don't like it, like Brocolli, lima beans, and brussel sprouts.

Percefany: Sounds like a written expresion to me.

Eliza: I thought your plate was getting cleaned too soon young lady.

Shadow: Give me the circle shaped sausage, give me the circle shaped sausage.

Shadow's nose gave a sniff as MiMi's hand shot under the table and he ran after it and he could be heard chewing sausage.

MiMi: I was getting misty eyed seeing him beg, I mean it's what he's good at.

Shadow: Potatoes please they smell good, all salty and spicy.

Percefany: Their homfries and not for dogs.

Shadow: How about that nice piece of bread resting on the edge of you plate?

Percefany(Throwing him the toast) Now go eat your dog food.

Shadow: Throw in a piece of bacon and you got yourself a deal.

John threw a piece of bacon to Shadow's bowl as he ran after it capturing the toast in his paws on the way.

Shadow: Now this is what I call breakfast.

Nora: Now back to me piercing my navel, you have no say over it dad because one my friends doing it without permission from a parent.

John: And two?

Nora: And two I'm expressing my individuality in my own way.

John: If you come home with a pierced navel I'm going to sell your bed to the dog.

Shadow: Ohh goody her bed's pretty comfy.

Jake(Changing the subject) So how's Clinton doing dad?

John: He's fine, I got a call from him after he moved in yesterday, he says it's sunnier there than anywhere he's ever been.

Nora: You will not give my bed to the dog, mom told me to express my individuality and that's what I'm doing.

John: Test me young lady, if I see any piercings on your body that don't belong there, the dog is getting your bed.

Mr. Mittens: What does the cat get in the deal?

Percefany: You get to share the bed with me.

Mr. Mittens: Ohh the fun we'll have.

Percefany: I think I'm starting to hate hearing animals, I mean I never knew Mr. Mittens was so mean.

Mr. Mittens: At least knit me a blanket or something, fur can only keep me warm so much.

Percefany: Do I look like a Grandma?
Mr. Mittens: Then call your Grandma and have her knit me one, my poor paws can't take the frigid cold.

Percefany: There are blankets on the bed you know.

Mr. Mittens: If you weren't such a blanket hog there would be.

Percefany: I am sooooooo not a blanket hog.

Eliza: Would you two quit arguing please.

Percefany: He started it with this whole knit him a blanket nonsense.

Shadow: I'll take his place on the bed, see my furs black so the sun always shines on me making me nice and warm.

Percefany: At this rate I think you might take his place on the bed.

Mr. Mittens: He will not do you know how long it took for me to gain a place on the bed?

Percefany: Three days?

Eliza: One more word out of any of you and you'll be punished understand?

Percefany looked down the table as her family stared at her.

Percefany: Sorry guys the whole animal talking thing is becoming troublesome.

Jake: It sounded like you two were going to kill each other.

Mr. Mittens(Walking off) I'm going to hog the blankets like you do blanket hog.

Percefany: Good you won't be asleep forvery long because I have to take a shower, and get ready for my friends to arrive.

Shadow: And you have to help me move my stuff into your room, you know my dog bed, my squeaky toys, my dish things like that.

Mr. Mittens stalked off as Percefany stuck her tongue out at him.

Shadow: Well you handled that well.

Eliza: Everyone hurry up and eat, because there are a million and one things to do before the party.

Jake: I don't I have a room to clean.

Eliza: You can say that again.

April: What a jip how does Jake get out of party reconstruction?

Eliza: Have you seen his room lately?

April: I have to admit it's seen better days.

Eliza: Exactly and now he's going to clean it.

Jake: It'll take most of the day to clean it.

Natalie(On her cell phone) Uh huh, get completely out of town, he can't be dating her she's not his type.

Jorge(Singsong voice) Gues who's breaking rule #1?

Eliza(Holding her hand out) Hand it over teen, you know the rules.

Natalie(Sighing) I gotta go my mom's being a phone grabber at the moment.

Eliza(Grabbing the phone) This is the phone grabber, wait a week and Natalie will get back to you.

Jorge(Sport's Announcers voice) Ouch the no phone for a week punishment ladies and gentleman that's gotta hurt.

Mr. Mittens(Stalking into the kitchen) I- can't- sleep- because- somebody- insists- on- having- the- air- conditioning- on- non- stop.

Eliza: We live in Texas, the air conditioner is our best friend here.

Mr. Mittens: Not mine, I'm shivering from head to paws here.

Percefany: Maybe that's guilt making you shiver, you mean spirited cat.

Mr. Mittens: It's not guilt, it's this stupid cold as an icebox house.

Percefany: You should be so lucky, there are other cats in a boiling pound as we speak.

Mr. Mittens: In that case I preffer the cold.

Percefany: I thought so now either drink that cream or I'm forcing it down your throat.

Mr. Mittens' claws clacked across the floor to his dish where he started lapping the cream.

Percefany: There's a good boy, you need to get your strength back.

Shadow: I think Mr. Mittens just might come around after all.

Percefany(Scratching Shadows ears) I think he will too.

Shadow(Patting his paws on the tile floor) Ohhhhhhhhh don't stop that feels soooooooo good.

Mr. Mittens: Just wait until she get's in the grove, you'll never want her to stop.

Shadow: I think I'm already there.

Percefany: You are soooooooo cute.

Shadow's tongue lapped Percefany's face as she giggled and he went faster.

Percefany(Laughing) All right, all right that's enough Shad, your tickling me everywhere.

Eliza: All right gang if your finished follow your father for your assignments for the party.

What happens at the party read part 4 Party Animals are the best company and reply to part 3
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