Amy meets Steven Adler and learns the truth about Izzy's ex-girlfriend.
"You never told me what the club is called," I commented. To my surprise, Izzy acted like he hadn't heard me. Instead, he went on, "It's a pretty nice place, I suppose. I probably would've chosen to go somewhere else, but Axl already arranged for us to go to this club. Don't worry, you'll be fine with me there."
I frowned to myself. It seemed rather weird that Izzy was avoiding my question. Was there something notorious about this club that he didn't want to tell me? Still curious, I questioned him further, "Is this a strip club or something? You don't seem to like this place very much." Even without seeing Izzy's face, I could tell he was keeping a secret from me.
"Um...sorta," Izzy replied to my question. "We won't stay too long. Just long enough for me to get to know some of the people from Hollywood Rose and then we'll go. If it's not too late, we can go back to my house afterwards if you want?" Going back to Izzy's house late at night sounded like a very good idea to me.
Maybe he'd get high from drinking at the club and lose a bit of his strict self control. I wanted Izzy to make love to me, and I knew he wanted to. He just seemed so cautious about it. Somehow, I had to give him a push in the right direction. Remembering that I still had to answer him, I replied, "Oh yes, that would be really fun."
Before Izzy had time to say anything else, I heard a loud, ear-deafening crash from the other end of the phone. Unsure of what was going on, I questioned, "Uh...Izzy? Are you alright?" Loud cursing met my ears instead of Izzy's gentle voice, "Can't you stop talking on the fucking phone for a few goddamn minutes?"
I jerked the phone away from my ear so my ear drums wouldn't explode. Thinking that I recognized the angry voice on the other end of the phone, I asked cautiously, "Axl? Is that you?" Instead of hearing Axl's voice, the next thing I heard was a scraping noise and then Izzy's low voice once more, "Geez, sorry about that, Amy."
"It's okay," I quickly replied. "What's going on though? Are you at Axl's? It sounds like he wants to use the phone or something." In an even lower voice, Izzy said, "Oh...Axl's just being moody. He got into an argument with Erin about his new band. I'm not exactly sure what Erin doesn't like about the band, but it's definitely enough to piss Axl off."
My heart gave a little jump when I heard that Erin and Axl were fighting. Maybe they would break up. That would leave Axl single. Quickly, I chastised myself for thinking such selfish thoughts. I wanted what was best for Axl, not myself. If Axl was happy with Erin, then I should want him and Erin to get along.
After trying to destroy the little green monster of jealousy inside of me, I answered as casually as I could, "I'm sorry to hear about Axl and Erin. Are you okay though? I heard a crash from your end of the phone. Axl didn't hit you or anything, did he?" Izzy laughed, "Nah. That was just Axl wrenching the phone out of my hand and throwing it on the ground."
I was a little confused. I could understand that Axl was upset because of Erin, but why didn't he want Izzy talking on the phone? Maybe he wanted to call Erin? I voiced the questions inside my head aloud to Izzy, "Does Axl want to use the phone?" Izzy answered, "No...I just think he's jealous that I have a girlfriend that I'm not constantly fighting with."
Another string of curses sounded faintly from the distance. Not wanting to make Axl anymore upset than he already was, I suggested, "Maybe we should hang up now? I feel like I'm really pissing Axl off. I don't want to make him angry."
"It's not you that's making him angry," Izzy reassured me, "His fights with Erin tend to be quite...severe. Axl's a funny guy. One minute he's having the time of his life and the next he's screeching profanities in my ear." I was about to reply when Axl's angry voice sounded again from a little ways off, "Izzy, can't you shut the hell up?"
"Yeah, maybe I should go," Izzy whispered quietly, hoping that Axl wouldn't hear him. "I'll see you at the club in two weeks though, right?" I agreed eagerly, "Yep! I'll see you then. In the meantime, good luck with Axl. Call me when you've got some spare time." I popped the phone shut and folded the directions to the club carefully and slipped it into my pocket.
It was then that I realized I still hadn't figured out the name of the club. Oh well, I could always look it up online when I got a chance. That would have to wait though since I felt like I was falling asleep on my feet.
Ring, ring, ring! A faint beeping cut through my sweet dreams. I had actually been having a good dream for once. That was surprising since I normally had nightmares most nights. In this dream, I had been kissing Izzy. After a few kisses, we seemed to fall into a dark pit...which turned out to be a bed. But when I looked next to me to see what Izzy was doing, I found that it was Axl lying next to me and not Izzy. I had just been about to ask Axl what he was doing there when the beeping had jerked me awake.
Very irritated at being awaken, I opened my bleary eyes and looked around the bedroom. It was pitch black inside which meant it couldn't be morning yet. I slammed the "off" button on my alarm and buried my head back into my pillow. Maybe if I were lucky, I'd be able to resume my dream. I wanted to see what would happen...even if it were just a dream.
Just as I had nestled back under the covers, I realized that the beeping hadn't ceased. Now wide awake, I sat up in bed and pulled my messy hair out of my eyes. I peered at the clock sitting on my nightstand. It was only three am. Why in the world would my alarm be going off at three am? I couldn't ever remembering setting my alarm before five am.
I pressed the off button on my alarm down again and waited for the beeping to stop. But it did not. I rolled out of bed and trudged sleeping over to the opposite end of the room to flip the lights on. I let my eyes get use to the light for a few minutes before I scrutinized the room for the item that was causing the ringing noise.
My eyes immediately focused in on my phone that was vibrating next to my alarm clock. I felt like slapping myself; of course it was my phone that was ringing! I had been so stupid to think it was my alarm clock. But seriously, who would be calling at three am in the morning? This phone call better be pretty important because it had completely interrupted my sleep.
I picked up the phone and slowly pressed it to my ear, "Hello?" An excited, chipper voice greeted me, "Amy! Guess what?" I was surprised to hear that it was my mother's voice. I couldn't even remember the last time my mom had called me. Feeling disoriented, I replied sluggishly, "What?"
"Beth Lynn just had her baby!" my mom exclaimed, unable to keep the excitement out of her tone. "You've got to come over to the hospital right away! Beth Lynn wants to see you." My heart seemed to leap into my throat; was something wrong? Was that why Beth needed to see me right away? Vince better not have upset her...
"Is something wrong, mom?" I asked nervously, not sure whether or not I really wanted to hear her answer, "Is Beth okay and everything? The pregnancy went well, right?" My mom laughed, "One question at a time please, Amy dear. Beth is just fine and so is the baby. She just wants to see you to thank you or something she said. So will you come over?"
I was already going through my drawers trying to find something suitable to wear, "Of course I will. I'll be right over. I'll see you in a few minutes, mom." I threw my phone down on the dresser and got dressed as quickly as possible. I looked down just in time to see that my clothes didn't match. I was wearing a light blue skirt and dark green tank top. Shit.
Standing half in and half out of my room, I debated whether or not to change to something that did match. Finally, I decided that this outfit was just going to have to work. I didn't want to waste time getting ready; I wanted to see Beth Lynn, the baby, and Vince right away. Without another thought, I turned and slipped out the doorway.
I would just have to pray that nobody would notice my mismatched outfit, messy hair, and face. Most likely people wouldn't be paying any attention to me though. Beth Lynn and the baby would be the spotlight of attention, not little Amy who was still half asleep. Pulling my hair into a ponytail as I went, I raced down the stairs and out into the night.
I jumped back into the car and started up the engine. It groaned ever louder than last time in protest. Not now! I had to see Beth Lynn right now, I couldn't wait for stupid car delays. Under my breath I muttered, "Stupid car." As if the car had actually heard me, it finally came to life and followed my directions as if pulled out of the driveway.
Thankful that my car hadn't broken down quite yet, I drove through downtown and up over the hill to the nearby hospital. At the stoplights, I attempted to smear some lipstick and eyeliner on. That didn't work very well because next thing I knew, the cars were honking behind me. I quickly hit the gas and sped through the green light...and I smudged lipstick all over the side of my face.
Ugh, I was so not a morning person. Less than two minutes later, I pulled up into the hospital's parking lot and parked right up in front so I wouldn't have to walk too far. My legs still felt weak and everything seemed to be going by in slow motion. I managed to trudge through the cold, darkness until I reached the hospital door.
As soon as I stepped inside, I felt like I was in a whole new world. Light and warmth engulfed me and cheerful voices chattered from around the reception room. I joined the end of the line to the front desk to wait to ask to speak to see Beth Lynn. While I was patiently waiting, I couldn't help but hear a conversation between the two men in front of me.
"Aw, c'mon! Just take the stupid test for god's sake. It's not going to kill you. Besides, you want to join London, don't you?" the first man was saying. It was hard to see him since he had his back to me, but I could see that he had a long mane of curly, black hair and tanned arms. I was started to wish I had bothered to put makeup on properly.
"I don't want to though," the second voice complained loudly. "It seems stupid that I'd have to take-" The first man had turned around and noticed me staring at them. He held a finger up to the other man's lips and stated firmly, "Not so loud, please! You're gonna have everyone staring at us in a moment." The dark haired man flashed me a brilliant smile and added in a seductive voice, "Which might not be a bad thing at all."
Embarrassed at being caught staring, I quickly looked away and blushed. The other man continued his complaining in a quieter tone, "Can't you just tell London that I don't have a problem? They shouldn't need to see the stupid test results to be able to see that I don't have a problem. Couldn't you just tell them? Please?"
The first man was shifting from foot to foot nervously in front of me. Everything about him was tense and he seemed very stressed out. The dark haired man placed his hands on the other one's shoulders and gave him a reassuring smile, "Hey, relax, will you? Everything is going to be just fine. Unless...you haven't..." He trailed off and cringed when he saw the other man's expression. After an awkward silence he replied in a low voice so that I had to strain to hear, "You have been doing drugs again, haven't you?"
Guiltily, the second man jerked away and looked behind him to avoid the first man's gaze. I froze in place as he looked right into my eyes. We locked gazes and stared at each other, neither one of us looking away. The first man called the second one's name softly, "Steven?" Steven, who was the man looking at me, didn't reply.
He was tall and blonde and everything about him had a wild look to it. His fluffy blonde hair was tousled, his pale lips were cracked, and his eyes...I had never seen eyes like those before. They were gray, untamed, and...haunting? There was something different about this man although I couldn't quite figure out what it was.
The first man had taken hold of Steven's hand and was yanking him forward in the line, muttering in annoyance, "At least try to act normal, will you?" Steven's turned his chapped lips up into a little smile before turning away from me. I continued to stare at his back, hoping that he hadn't noticed my mismatched clothes.
"Amy, there you are!" I felt a hand slap on my shoulder and heard an excited voice in my ear. I jumped about a foot into the air. I had been so busy staring at the man in front of me that I hadn't heard the footsteps behind me. Whirling around, I saw Nikki smiling happily at me, "Oh hey there, Nikki. God, you scared me half to death. How's Beth Lynn?"
"I'll show you!" Nikki exclaimed, grabbing my cold hand. "Come with me." Hesitantly, I left the two men who had captured my interest and followed Nikki to the corner of the room and up two flights of stairs. At the top of the second flight, I tripped and wobbled precariously. Nikki threw his arms around me to keep me from toppling all the way back down the stairs.
"Easy there, girl," Nikki said, helping me up the last few stairs. "You must still be waking up. It's only three-thirty in the morning. Anyways, here we are." Nikki pointed to a door to his left and was about to open it when I stopped him.
"Wait a second, Nikki," I frowned and regarded him with a puzzled expression. Nikki raised his eyebrows at me and waited for me to speak. I asked him, "Why are you here? You and Vince usually seem to be on...bad terms. Did he invite you here?" Nikki shrugged, "I don't have a problem with Vince, we're friends now. And yeah, he invited the whole Crue here actually."
Vince and Nikki were friends all of the sudden? When had this happened? Then I remembered the scene inside Vince's house the other day when Vince and Nikki had been taking the heroin together. Apparently, that had bonded them together. Nikki cut into my thoughts with a grin, "Okay, do I have permission to open the door now, Miss Amy?"
I instantly forgot what I was thinking about and smiled back at Nikki's sarcasm, "Yeah." Nikki popped the door open and strode inside with a spring in his steps. I followed him and shut the hospital door behind him quietly. I was shocked to see how many people were crowded in the little room. There was Tommy and Candice, Mick, Nikki, my mother, and Vince.
As soon as I was inside the doorway, Beth Lynn cried out my name, "Why Amy, you're here! It's so great to see you." I maneuvered my way through the crowd to get a good look at Beth Lynn. She was lying in the hospital bed with a small child lying on her chest. Her hair was disheveled and she looked like she had been sweating, but her eyes shone ecstatically.
Vince was sitting in a chair next to her looking like he couldn't be any happier. I was glad to see that he was holding her right hand tightly and he appeared to have eyes for none other than Beth and the child. I sighed with relief to myself. Vince must've made up with Beth Lynn. Now I could only hope that they would stay together.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner," I apologized to Beth. "I just got the call a little while ago. What did you decide to name your child?" Vince answered my question without looking at me, "Her name is Elizabeth Ashley." Normally, I would've been irritated that Vince wouldn't even look at me, but today, it only made me happier.
First of all, it showed Vince's attraction to Beth Lynn and Elizabeth Ashley. And secondly, it meant I was finally over Vince. There was not an ounce of jealousy in my heart when I saw them together. They looked so right together...so happy. This was the way it should be. I felt terrible for ever thinking otherwise. Had I actually at one point of time wanted Beth Lynn and Vince to get a divorce so that I could take Beth's place as Vince's lover?
Suddenly, everyone was hugging each other and cheering. I was surprised to find myself in Nikki's arms. He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug. Nikki and I had hugged before, but something was different about this hug. It seemed like more than a hug. Sparks seemed to be flying down my body and my head started spinning. Something suddenly felt awkward about the way we were hugging. We were too close for it just to be a normal embrace. Something had changed between Nikki and I, but I couldn't quite identify what it was.
I fastened a silver chain around my neck and stood back to see what I looked like in the mirror. It was finally the day that I was going to meet Izzy at the club with his new band mates. I wasn't sure if I was suppose to dress up or not, so I settled for something that wasn't too fancy, but wasn't too casual either.
I scrutinized my light blue dress in the mirror. The dress landed around my knees and had spaghetti straps. It was rather sheer and thin for this time of year, but it was the only semi-casual dress I owned. Besides, the cerulean color of the dress brought attention to my blue-gray eyes. I glanced over at the clock on the wall and frowned.
It was only two in the afternoon. I wasn't suppose to be at the club for another two hours. God, why did I always end up being early for everything? Feeling bored, I wandered downstairs to look for something to do. I had slouched down on the couch and was flicking through television channels when my mom's voice sounded from around the corner, "Amy?"
I cursed under my breath. I really didn't want my mom to ask where I was going tonight. She didn't like Izzy one bit and she certainly wouldn't be too happy that I was planning to go to a club with him. My mom entered the living room and surveyed me with a frown, "Hm, don't you look fancy? Are you going somewhere?"
I decided to give her a half-truth, "Not at the moment, why?" My mom shrugged and leaned against the chair opposite the couch and said, "You're really dressed up so I would figure that you were going somewhere. You are going somewhere later, aren't you?" I hesitated; unsure of whether to lie or not. My mom must've noticed my moment of hesitation because her eyes narrowed and she added sharply, "Don't you lie to me, Amy."
Sighing, I replied, "Yes, mother, I am going somewhere. Do you need something or did you just come down here to question me about my plans tonight?" My mother's cheeks turned pink and I noticed that she appeared to be watching the television screen avidly. Finally, she replied, "Well, I did want to know where you were going tonight, but I wanted to ask you a favor."
I instantly bit my lip. Favors that my mom asked me to do were always bad. I wished I could just refuse to do her favor, but that would be rude. Placing a fake smile on my lips, I asked as kindly as I could, "What do you want me to do? I don't have a lot of time though. I have to leave in around an hour or so."
"Well," my mom started, "Beth Lynn comes home from the hospital today with her baby girl. I'm not sure if she was planning on staying with us still or not, but I wanted her to know that she's still welcome to live here with us if she wants. That Vince Neil is so unpredictable. I'd go over to the hospital myself to tell Beth that she could come stay with us, but I have a meeting I have to be at in fifteen minutes. You couldn't possibly drive over there and see what Beth's plans are, could you?"
That wasn't really that bad of a request after all. It would be nice to see Beth Lynn and little Elizabeth Ashley again. I was really hoping that Beth was going back to live with Vince again though. Maybe I was being selfish, but I wanted my room back to myself once more. Besides, Beth and Vince should live together. They were husband and wife for god's sake!
"Yeah, sure, I'll go over to the hospital now," I replied as I flicked off the power button on the television. My mom shot me a grateful smile as she hurried over to the door, "Thanks so much, honey. Like I said, I'd normally do it, but this meeting is a very important event. I'll see you later!"
A burst of cold air rushed into the room as my mom shut the front door behind her. I shivered and started putting on some high-heeled silver sandals. It was almost winter and here I was, dressed for summer. Oh well, there was no time to worry about that now. I pulled open the door and rushed out to my jetta. Thankfully, it started up without a problem and I was soon on my way to the hospital. In the daylight, it only took me five minutes before I had pulled up into the large parking lot.
I was forced to park pretty far away from the door because every spot closer was already occupied. After parking the car, I started walking across the street to the hospital entrance. The sky overhead was dark gray and it looked like it was going to rain soon. The trees rustled in the wind next to me and a few light raindrops fell on my head.
Chilled to the bone, I wrapped my arms tightly across my chest and ran the rest of the way to the hospital entrance to avoid getting wet. I slammed the entrance door open and quickly shut it behind me. Warmth immediately flooded through my body as I purposefully strode over to the main desk.
A woman with curly red hair and spectacles was looking over some papers. When I approached, she briefly lifted her gaze and said in as few words as possible, "What can I do for you?" I smiled at her and stated, "I'm here to see Beth Lynn Neil. May I go up and see her now?" The woman shuffled through several files on the desk in front of her before selecting one. She pulled out a few papers from it and analyzed it carefully.
A few moments later, she replaced the papers in the file and turned back to me, "Beth is undergoing some tests right now so you're going to have to wait to see her. It shouldn't take too long though so just take a seat in the lobby here. Beth Lynn goes home after this. You know that, right?"
"Yep, thanks for your help," I replied concisely and strode over to one of the chairs arranged on the far side of the wall. I sat down in one and picked up a magazine from the chair next to me. Before I started reading it, I peered anxiously at my watch. I didn't want to wait her too long. After all, I had to leave in an hour and there was no way I was going to be late for Izzy.
I had just started flipping through the magazine when a cool breeze came through the open doorway. Apparently, another patient had just entered the lobby as well. I shuddered from the sudden blast of frigid air and wished I had brought a coat. One of these days, I'd have to go shopping and buy a new coat. My current one was five years old and so out of style that I wouldn't be caught dead in it. After I had read the first paragraph of my magazine, I was interrupted by loud, angry voices coming from the front desk.
"Just give me the test results! I know you have them right here with you. I don't have time to deal with this bullshit," a man's voice lashed out furiously. I heard the red-headed receptionist snap, "You're going to have to see the doctor before you see the test results. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is."
"You could just give the fucking things to me," the man replied in an even louder tone. He seemed completely unaware that everyone in the lobby was eying him with incredulity. Most people would never dare to speak to in such tones at a hospital. After all, there were very sick and dying people here. They last thing they wanted to hear was someone swearing.
"Keep your voice down, please!" the receptionist exclaimed in shock. Her olive green eyes were flashing fiercely as she replied, "This is really no way to handle this situation. If you don't sit down and be good, I'm going to have to call security." I watched the man's back, wondering what he would do next.
Something about the messy blonde locks and slumped shoulders seemed familiar. The man resignedly turned around and dragged himself over to the chairs where everyone else in the lobby was sitting. Instantly, I remembered him from the last time I had been here at the hospital. He had been here with the dark-haired man. If I remembered correctly, his name was Steven.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him slump down into a chair next to me. He was staring at his hands in his lap intensely without looking up. He seemed to be worried about something by the way he was fidgeting. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but of course I couldn't do that. I didn't even know the man!
Without warning, his head jerked up and he looked over at me. I immediately looked away. It was rather humiliating to be caught staring at someone. I could feel my cheeks heat up and I pretended to be engulfed in reading my magazine. But only a few minutes later, curiosity got the better of me and I was sneaking another glance at him.
This time, he was the one staring at me. He looked me up and down for another brief moment before realizing that he had been caught staring at me. Now it was his turn to flush and turn away. He went back to fiddling with the sleeve of his tan jacket. I tried to immerse myself back into my magazine, but it was impossible.
There was something about this man that captivated my attention and made me act like a crazy woman. It certainly wasn't attraction, it was just pure interest. I couldn't help but wonder why he was here and why he was getting tests done. He looked healthy enough besides for the pale skin, but that was probably his natural skin color.
Simultaneously, the two of us both risked a peek at the other person. A little giggle escaped my lips as we met each one another's eyes. Steven gave me a little, nervous smile. I quickly smiled back before both of us looked away...again. There was certainly some sort of allurement between the two of us. You couldn't deny that. Besides, it was rather ironic that we had ran into each other twice while we were at the hospital. Now I just had to get the nerve to speak to him...
I was trying to figure out what I would say to him, when I felt a light hand on my wrist. I looked over to see that Steven had now given me his full attention and had twisted around in his chair so he was looking directly at me, "Hello."
I was so surprised that he had finally spoken to me, that it took me a minute to pull myself together and greet him, "Oh...hi." Oh god, why did my voice sound so weak? Meeting new people was definitely not one of my talents. I had never been all that good with people. That was why I hadn't ever really had any real friends until I had met Nikki. He had been my best friend from the very beginning. He never laughed at me, made fun of me, or ditched me like all the other kids at school had. Thinking about Nikki sent a sadness through me. We didn't spend nearly as much time together as we use to. I suppose it made sense. After all, Nikki had Lita and the Crue to worry about and I had Izzy. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but miss spending time one-on-one with him.
"I saw you here the other day," Steven commented in a friendly tone. "What are you here for?" I was glad Steven had started the conversation because my mind had gone completely blank. I replied in a stronger voice, "I'm visiting a friend of mine, Beth Lynn. She had a child a little while ago and she's finally going home today."
A look of sorrow clouded across Steven's eyes, "That must be nice for her." I gave him a questioning look and he added, "You know, marriage and having kids. I'm sure she must be happy." I turned this statement over in my head before answering. Was Beth Lynn truly happy? She did seem excited about Elizabeth, but I knew that what she truly wanted was Vince back. I prayed to myself that he would recommit himself to her and stop fucking other girls at every possible opportunity.
"I suppose Beth is happy," I finally said. We sat in silence for a moment before I voiced the question that had been going on in my head earlier, "So what are you here for? Getting some tests done or something?" Steven looked down at the floor uncomfortably, "Um...yeah. They're testing me for drugs I guess."
Pity flowed through me. Why would poor Steven have to get tested for taking drugs? He certainly didn't look like a druggie. I sympathized, "That's stupid. Anyone in their right mind can see that you're not doing drugs." The second question popped out of my mouth before I had a chance to think about it, "Why do they need to test you for drugs anyways? Was there an accident or something?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wished I could take them back. If Steven had been in an accident with drugs, he clearly wouldn't feel comfortable talking about it with me, a complete stranger.
I was about to apologize for being so audacious, but Steven had already started talking. As a matter of fact, he actually looked more relaxed now and he was meeting my eyes once more, "My friend and I are auditioning for the band London. The members of London want to make sure we're not drug addicts before they hire us. Apparently, they fired their last drummer because he became an addict and stopped showing up for band practices."
I frowned. That was really sad about the last drummer. I hated to see people waste their lives away on drugs because they weren't able to control themselves. Impulsively, I placed a reassuring hand on Steven's arm and spoke my mind, "Well, I'm sure you will make a much better drummer than their previous member. Wait, is it drums that you play in the band?"
Steven nodded. I waited for him to elaborate, then noticed his gaze was on my hand that was lightly resting on his arm. I felt abashed and started to pull my hand away. Just when I was about to place it on top of my other hand, Steven reached over and took my hand in his once more. His palm felt warm on my cold skin skin. Is was only then that I realized I was still shivering.
"Hey, you look cold," Steven commented and began shrugging out of his coat. He tucked it around my shoulders and said, "Hopefully this will keep you warmer." I was surprised and touched at his concern for me. I didn't think a strange had ever given a shit about my well being before.
Steven answered my question from earlier, "And yeah, I am a drummer. I started guitar when I was twelve. Music had always been my passion. I switched to drums when I learned that my friend was already a guitarist. We had always dreamed about being in a band together. And here we are now, auditioning for London together."
"I have a couple friends who are guitarists. And I know a drummer too," I told Steven, thinking of Izzy. I smiled as an image of Izzy appeared in my head. I loved every little damn thing about him. I could only hope that he loved me in the same way. Steven tilted his head at me and asked, "Friends? Are you sure they're just friends?"
I laughed as quietly as I could, remembering that I wasn't suppose to make too much noise in the waiting area of the hospital. With Steven here, I had completely forgotten about why I was even here. I confessed, "Well, one of the guitarists I know is more than a friend to me. But the rest are all just good friends."
Steven's face fell ever so slightly, but he quickly covered it up and went on, "That's nice. What are there names? I happen to know a few guitarists myself. Maybe we have some of the same friends?" I listed my friends names, "Well, the drummer I know is Tommy Lee. He plays for Motley Crue. The guitarist I know is also from Motley Crue. He's Nikki Sixx, we've been best friends for a long time now. The other guitarist I know is Izzy Stradlin. He just started playing in a band called the Hollywood Rose. The band just formed a couple of weeks ago actually."
"Ah, that's interesting," Steven commented with interest. "I hope their band has some success. I don't think I know any of your friends though. Is Nikki Sixx your boyfriend?" The thought of Nikki as my boyfriend sent a feeling of regret through my veins. I remembered way back when the two of us had been together for a while. But Nikki had found me cheating on him with Vince and so that was the end of that. It certainly hadn't taken Nikki very long to find new girlfriends.
"Oh no, Nikki's not my boyfriend," I replied a little too quickly because Steven cocked an eyebrow at me in interest. Feeling like I should go into a little more detail, I added, "Nikki and I met in high school a while back." Steven made a face at the words high school, "God, I never liked school. I ended up going to eight different ones because I was such a troublemaker." Steven had a lopsided smile on his face and his golden eyes shone in the lighting.
"I didn't like school much either," I admitted. "I'm trying to get through college, but it's not really working out. Besides, I have no idea what I want to do for a job anymore." The thought of college immediately made me feel guilty. I couldn't even remember the last time I had gone to my classes. My mom had no idea how many classes I was skipping. If she did, I would've been dead a very long time ago. I wasn't avoiding college because I didn't want to do the work, I just didn't have the time to study for it or attend the courses while I was constantly going on tours with Crue all around the country. Thank god the Crue had somehow managed to pay for my expenses so far. Luckily, Crue had become a much bigger success than I had though.
Sensing my regret, Steven peered over at me in concern and said, "Why isn't college working out for you? Do you want to talk about it?" I did want to tell someone about my problems, but I didn't want to seem like I was complaining. Steven was such a nice guy. I didn't want him to end up thinking about me as a selfish, spoiled brat.
Steven squeezed my forearm and whispered, "Hey, you can tell me. I wouldn't think badly of you." That was enough to get me talking. I opened my mouth and poured out my worries to him, "I started college a while back, but I've been skipping most of the classes lately because I travel around with Motley Crue and I don't have any extra time anymore. I know I should be going to class though so I can get a job someday. I can't just go traveling around with a band for the rest of my life. But the worst part is, I have no idea what I want to do for my job. At this rate, I'm gonna end up as one of those homeless people."
"Of course you aren't going to end up homeless!" Steven replied indignantly. I noticed he was looking me over. His gaze shifted from my pale legs to my chest and then back to my face again. "There are easy ways to make money without going to college. You know that, don't you?"
I shrugged, wondering what exactly Steven had in mind. Steven continued, "Besides, someday you'll get married and have a man to take care of you regardless of whether you're getting an income or not. Don't worry about it for now. I hate to see a pretty little thing like you worrying about things like that."
I returned Steven's glance skeptically. I was seriously thinking that at this point I was never going to get married. I seemed to bust every single relationship I had been in. I hadn't even slept with a guy before. It wasn't that I wouldn't like to get married though at some point. My dream was to have a committed husband who would love me for who I was through the good times and the bad. But of course, it was no more than a dream. A wild fantasy of a young girl wishing for a lover.
My thoughts turned back to Steven and I questioned him, "Tell me more about yourself. What about you, are you married to some pretty girl?" Steven's eyebrows shot up and he gave me a dubious look, "Me? Married?" Hoping I hadn't said something wrong, I nodded ever so slightly. Was it a bad question to ask someone if they were married?
Steven let out a wry laugh and shook his head sadly, "God, of course I'm not married. I can't even seem to stay in a relationship with a girl for more than a night. I don't have a job either, actually. I've just been waiting around for an opportunity to get a position in a band." I grinned at Steven and punched his arm lightly, "Hm, maybe we'll both end up homeless together someday!"
Steven grinned back and answered, "Maybe. By the way, I don't think I got your name yet." Oops, had I not even told Steven my name? I was so awful at introductions that I had forgotten to introduce myself. Geez, why was I so fucking bad at this kind of thing? Blushing slightly, I quickly introduced myself, something I should have done long ago, "I'm Amy. And you're Steven?"
Steven looked surprised that I knew his name, "Why yes, I am. How did you know that?" I told Steven about seeing him and his friend at the hospital a week ago, "I was waiting in line behind you the last time I was in the hospital. Your friend called you Steven so that's how I know your name. I'm not a mind reader or psychic!"
Steven's brow furrowed and he looked embarrassed. I was about to ask him why when he asked, "Did you hear the whole conversation between us when you were in line?" Trying to figure out what Steven was getting to, I answered his question with another question, "Do you mean the whole conversation you and your friend were having?"
Steven nodded. I racked though my mind and tried to remember what the two had been talking about. It had something to do with testing, drugs, and Steven not wanting to cooperate. But I didn't remember the details, so I gave him a half-truth instead, "Nah, I don't remember the conversation really. I just remember your name."
Steven let out a sigh of relief and the tension in his stiff shoulders disappeared, "Oh, okay." It was only then that I realized that someone was shouting my name excitedly from across the room. I glanced away from Steven to see Beth Lynn waving at me from the other end of the room with her baby in her arms.
I waved back and Beth as she ambled over to us. She looked much better than the last time I had seen her. Her eyes were shining with life, her golden locks were swinging around her shoulder, and her skin had a rosy glow to it. Steven turned to follow my gaze, "Is that your friend? Bethany or something?"
Before I had time to reply, Beth had approached us and greeted us in a breathless voice, "Hi Amy! How have you been? And who's your friend?" She turned to look at Steven with interest. Steven smiled genuinely at her and I felt a little tinge of jealousy. I quickly tried to repress the feeling. There was no need for me to be jealous of someone I had just met smiling at a friend of mine. Izzy was right; I was becoming paranoid about everything.
"This is Steven..." I trailed off, realizing that I didn't know Steven's last name. Steven hastily filled in the rest of it, "Adler. Steven Adler." Beth smiled at him, but didn't shake his hand since her arms were full with her baby. I found that I was somewhat relieved that they weren't able to shake hands.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Adler," Beth replied politely before turning to me, "So what's going on, Amy? I didn't know that you were planning on stopping by here today." I replied, "My mom sent me over actually. She wants you to know that you're welcome back at our house if you need a place to stay. But you and Vince have things worked out now...right?"
I held my breath as I waited for Beth's answer. She seemed to take a long time before replying, "Oh yes, Vince and I are fine now. Thanks so much for talking to him, Amy. I know you must've somehow convinced him to come back to me. You're a miracle worker. You truly are. I can never thank you enough. Please tell your mom I appreciate her offer, but I will be going back to my house now." I exhaled with relief; I would have my own bedroom back again!
"I'll tell her," I replied and glanced over at the clock. Oh my god, I hadn't realized that I had been in the hospital for an hour and fifteen minutes! I was going to have to hurry if I wasn't going to be late for my date with Izzy. Hurriedly, I stood up and started rushing towards the door, "I don't mean to be rude, but I've really got to go!"
In my haste, I tripped over one of my five-inch heeled sandals and found myself seeing stars as I lay on the hard hospital floor. I shook my head to try to clear the stars from my vision. A hand was gripping my shoulders and another one was taking my hand. I felt myself hauled back up to my feet and turned around to look right into Steven's face.
Our faces were barely an inch apart. We were too close. Much too close for my comfort. I took a hesitant step backwards and thanked him for his assistance, "Thanks for helping me, Steven. I'm so clumsy." Then remembering I was still wearing his coat, I slid it off my shoulders and handed it back to him. Goose bumps quickly appeared on my arms as my skin was exposed to the cold, fall air. I tried rubbing my arms to keep them warm.
"Hey Amy..." Steven started, looking nervous, "Are you busy tonight?" The question was unexpected. Why would Steven want to know whether or not I was busy or not tonight? In a kind voice, I answered, "Actually, I am. I'm meeting some friends at a club nearby. Why do you ask?"
Steven blushed and looked embarrassed, "Oh, I don't know." I turned to leave, but turned around as he added, "Bye, Amy. It was really nice meeting you." I scrutinized his face. He truly looked sorry to see that I had to leave. I gave him a little smile and replied, "Bye, Steven. I'm sure you'll see you again someday."
Then I turned and hurried out the front door of the hospital and into the freezing climate outside. But instead of thinking of the cold, I thought of Steven. He was such a kind, honest, and down-to-earth sort of person. The world needed more people like him. As I entered my car, I couldn't help but wonder if I should've gotten his phone number. I really wanted to see him again. But I only wanted to see him again as a friend. We couldn't be anything more than that.
I tried to think about something else as I started the car and glanced at the directions Izzy had given me to get to the club. I would have to go straight there if I wanted to make it to the club on time. It didn't take long before my mind had refocused itself on my plans for tonight. I couldn't seem to take my mind of making love with Izzy. Maybe I was Izzy-possessed.
About an hour later, I parked my car in the parking lot of a big, black building that I presumed was the club that Izzy had invited me to. I sat in the car for a few minutes, just staring at the building. It was very, very large. The size of it reminded me of the elementary school I had gone to years ago. There were clear windows on the front of the building that allowed you to look inside. On one of the windows was a sign flashing in yellow that read, "open."
Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I popped out of the car and clicked down the parking lot in my noisy heels. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous for tonight. It was just another date with Izzy, nothing more than that. What was there to be afraid of? I shoved my anxiety aside and walked with my head held high like I knew exactly where I was going and what I was doing.
As I approached the entrance, I noticed a man standing by the door. He was wearing a blue shirt that he had left unbuttoned and black pants. I tried to see his face, but it was obscured in the shadows. He was also wearing black sunglasses that kept his eyes completely hidden from view. I wished he would step out into the light so I could see who he was. He was very attractive...
I immediately scolded myself. Why did I always feel the need to check out guys' bodies? It wasn't suppose to be that way. The man by the door still wasn't looking at me. He was glancing nervously at a black watch on his thin wrist and with the other hand, he was smoking a cigarette. I paused by the door. A whiff of cigarette smoke and something else wafted into my nose. The "something else" scent seemed strangely familiar...
I yanked off the man's sunglasses and looked up into his face, "God, Izzy, why are you standing in the shadows here? I couldn't even recognize you with these stupid glasses. Why the hell are you wearing glasses right now, anyways? It's not at all sunny out." Izzy's surprised face broke out into a smile as he saw me, "Oh, there you are, Amy. You're wondering why I'm out here? I'm out here because I was worried about you. I kept thinking you got lost or something. You're late, you know."
I reached over and flipped Izzy's watch over so I could see what time it was. I laughed, "I'm only two minutes late, Izzy! It's not like you've been waiting for me for the last few hours or something." Izzy shrugged, smiling sheepishly. My fingers lingered on Izzy's wrist a little longer than necessary. I found myself spontaneously stroking the skin on his wrist.
Izzy started to pull me to him when the door flew open. An irritated voice called out loudly, "Okay, get back in here. You standing out here isn't going to make her appear out of thin air. Besides, the others are waiting for you. So get in here before I have to come out there and drag you in myself!"
I grimaced at Axl's voice. I had wanted Izzy to touch me, bring me to him, caress me. Izzy reluctantly let go of me and shouted back towards the open door that was only inches away from us, "Okay, okay, no need to let the whole world know, Axl!" Axl, who had been standing in the doorway oblivious to our presence, slapped his hands over his ears and glowered at us, "Fuck, you're the one who just screeched in my ear. Now stop dawdling around and get in this goddamn place!"
Without even looking at us, Axl turned and stomped back into the club. I exchanged a nervous look with Izzy. Axl was definitely in one of his bad moods. Hopefully, he'd turn around once we were all settled down at the club together. Wondering if something had pissed him off, I whispered to Izzy, "What's wrong with Axl?" Izzy frowned and bent down so he could whisper in my ear, "Erin couldn't come tonight. I don't know if they ever made up from their last fight or not."
I wasn't really listening to what Izzy was saying. All I could think about was that I could feel his breath on my ear and the way his voice sounded. There was something special about Izzy's voice. It's wasn't scratchy like Axl's. On the contrary, it had almost a musical sound to it. Sometimes I thought that Izzy should've been the singer instead of Axl.
The two of us walked through the open doorway and into the club. I was instantly blinded by different colored lights swirling around the room. There was pink light, yellow light, green light, and every other color in the rainbow lights. Some classic rock 'n roll music blasted off the loudspeakers and at the far end of the room, I could see a few girls dancing. It didn't take much to figure out that they were strippers. The inside of the club seemed gigantic though. Hundreds of tables were arranged on the floor.
Izzy gently guided me to the far left side of the room while I took everything in. Izzy's arm that had been linked around my shoulders started creeping down my back. My skin tingled as Izzy replaced his arm on my lower back...it was much too low to be appropriate, but I didn't care. Izzy could touch any part of me that he wanted to.
We arrived at a table near the bar. I surprised to see that there were already five people sitting at the table. Four of them I didn't recognize. They were drinking out of large glasses and laughing amongst themselves. The fifth person was sitting in a chair facing us with his arms crossed over his chest and his lips in a thin line.
Axl didn't seem to have cheered up at all. He was wearing a casual white T-shirt and jeans, but god, he looked very handsome nonetheless. I noticed that he had placed a purple headband around his forehead and that he was wearing brown-tinted sunglasses. At the site of us, Axl's frown deepened, "It's about time! Okay, sit down guys, we have work to do."
I glanced at the arrangement of the table. There was one empty chair at one end of the table and another at the opposite end of the table. It would force Izzy and me to sit far apart. We probably wouldn't be able to talk to each other. I frowned, unsure of whether or not I should protest about these unfair seating options.
Izzy was sliding out of his black coat. His shirt fell open as he slipped it off, exposing most of his bare chest. A feeling of longing started pounding in my blood, obscuring all of my other senses. I had to touch him, kiss him, rest my hand on his chest...
"Amy?" Izzy's voice jerked me back to reality. "You can just sit with me. I wouldn't even be able to see you way at the other end of the table." I smiled widely at him, grateful that he had resolved our problem. Izzy was pulling me onto his knee when Axl threw up a hand and snapped, "Stop!"
Izzy paused with his hands around my waist. He shot Axl an almost amused glance and said, "Why?" Axl was grimacing and avoided looking at Izzy as he said, "Because I'll move. Amy can sit where I'm sitting and I'll sit at the end of the table." Izzy shrugged carelessly, "If you want. I don't mind sharing a seat with Amy though. Unless, do you mind it, Amy?"
Was he crazy? Of course I didn't mind it! Sitting on Izzy's lap would've been one of the best parts of the night. Damn Axl for ruining everything so far. I replied to Izzy, "I don't mind. Seriously, Axl, you can just stay where you are." Axl had already gotten out of his chair and was stretching his arms.
An unfamiliar man who was sitting next to Axl turned to him and suggested, "We can all just slide down one chair. Then you can still talk to Izzy and Amy." Axl, who was still looking pissed off, snapped, "Whatever." Everyone moved down a seat so that I was sandwiched in between Axl and Izzy. A shiver of thrill ran down my spine; I was so lucky to be here with two of the most attractive guys on the planet. But more importantly, I was lucky to be in a relationship with Izzy.
I didn't deserve him; that much was obvious. After all, I had already cheated on him. But Izzy had dismissed that without a second thought and had been nothing but kind, honest, and gentle with me. Maybe he was being a little too gentle with me. Truthfully, I was rather wishing he'd get wasted, lose control, and help me lose my fucking virginity.
"I suppose I should introduce all of you to Amy," Axl grumbled, indicating the new band members with his head. A shiny strand of auburn hair was reflected in the colored lights that were still revolving around the room. Without waiting for a reply, Axl continued concisely, "Here's Chris Weber, Johnny Kreis, Rick Mars, and Steve Darrow."
Chris was tall and had a long mane of unruly brown hair draped down his back. He smiled and me and then turned and grinned even wider at Izzy. I could tell that the two were already good friends. Johnny had olive toned skin and short, black hair. He was looking around at the group nervously like he wasn't quite sure if he was suppose to be here or not. Rick Mars had a thin face with a mop of blonde hair. Instead of paying attention to the introductions, he was staring at the strippers in the far end of the room. I sighed; he better not be another Vince. What was it with attractive blonde men and girls? Steve waved a hand in a friendly manner to me. I figured he was the oldest in the group. He just seemed to be taller and more mature.
"Okay, enough of the introductions," Axl hurried on, "Let's discuss band practice. I say that we're not practicing enough. We only practice five days a week for three hours." I noticed that Axl was avoiding looking at Izzy and me as he said all this. He kept his gaze on the glass of vodka in his hands.
"How much do you suggest we practice then?" Steve asked curiously. Axl finally looked up from his glass to give Steve a withering look, "I'm not suggesting things here, Steven. I'm making orders here. If I say you're going to practice more, then you're gonna practice more whether you like it or not."
Steve looked rather taken aback and nodded limply without a word. I was starting to get sick of Axl's demeanor. I did feel sorry that he didn't have Erin with him tonight, but seriously! He needed to move on and not ruin the whole night because of it. As discreetly as I could, I slid my chair towards the right so I could sit closer to Izzy.
My chair made a loud scrapping noise. I froze where I was and looked around to see if anyone else had noticed the sound. Steve and Axl were still glaring at each other, Rick was still mesmerized at the girls, and Chris and Johnny didn't seem to be paying attention at all. The only person who did notice was Izzy.
His lip curled and he slid his chair over closer to me. Somehow he managed to soundlessly unlike me. Axl commanded, "I say we need to practice seven days a week for at least five hours a day. The band comes first right now. The only way we're going to be popular and rise to the top is if we practice. How does that sound to you guys?"
I wasn't paying any attention to Axl at this point. Izzy and I had clasped had clasped hands under the table. He stroked the top of my hand with gentle fingers and I held onto his hand like I was never going to let go. I scooted to the far right of my chair to be even closer to him. We were so close now that I could easily have reached over to kiss him.
"God, people!" Axl shouted angrily. "Can't you all pay attention for one minute? Maybe we should've met at my house versus a club so you guys wouldn't get so distracted by the girls!" Axl shot a disapproving look at Rick who had a dreamy expression on his face as he gazed at the girls dancing.
"I'm not distracted by the girls," Johnny added a-matter-of-factly. Axl shifted his gaze his Johnny's flushed cheeks, "Maybe not, but you're distracted by the alcohol." Abruptly, Axl whipped around to look at Izzy and me, "And Izzy keeps getting distracted by Amy! This is so not working. Seriously, why did I even try to form this goddamn band?"
Izzy looked up at Axl's flashing brown eyes and exchanged a look with me. Axl was certainly losing his cool. His second glass of vodka definitely wasn't helping the situation much. Once Axl had turned his gaze back to the rest of the band, Izzy moved over even closer to me and whispered in my ear, "Want something to eat or drink? I'm hungry."
It took me a minute to process his words. Our legs were now touching and Izzy's hand had moved up to my forearm. Trying not to get too distracted by Izzy being so close to me, I replied as evenly as I could, "Um...yeah, I guess." Izzy gave a nod of approval, "Good for you. You are trying to eat again, aren't you?"
I shrugged, "I guess. You made me promise, remember?" Izzy grinned in satisfaction as he stood up, "Yep, and I don't regret it. I'll go get us some drinks and some food since the meeting doesn't seem to be going too well." He said the last part in a whisper so that Axl couldn't hear. I reluctantly watched Izzy retreat into the mass of people. My gaze followed him until he was just a dot in a sea of people. I even liked the way Izzy walked, the way he swung his arms by his sides, and the way he held his head up high. I had never been this in love before. Not even when I had been with Vince.
Suddenly, I felt eyes on me. I glanced around me nervously, trying to find the source. My eyes rested on a girl who looked to be about my age. She was leaning against a nearby table and was eying me curiously. The girl was quite pretty. She had smooth, glossy blonde hair, light blue eyes, and a perfect body. I assumed she was a stripper because of the risque garments that she was wearing. The girl noticed my gaze and flashed me a perfect smile. I smiled uneasily back, not sure if I liked the way she had been looking at me. Was there something she wanted from me?
To distract myself, I turned back to the group and decided to attempt to cheer Axl up. He was still slouching grumpily in his chair with his glass of vodka in one hand. His eyes were narrowed and it was impossible to tell what he was looking at. Taking a deep breath, I started pleasantly, "So have you been to this club before, Axl?"
Axl barely looked over at me as he replied, "Yeah." His tone didn't sound angry anymore, just distant as if he was in another world right now. I wasn't going to give up easily though, Axl needed some cheering up. Trying again, I asked, "So what's the name of this club? Do you like it here?"
Axl did manage to look at me this time as he replied, "It's just called the Gold Club. I don't know why it's called that. And yeah...it's usually pretty nice here. Erin and I use to come here-" Axl broke off and his face contorted into a scowl as he mentioned Erin's name. I could tell he was missing her badly. I wanted to comfort him somehow, but didn't know what to do.
Luckily, Izzy returned at that moment with a bowl of fruit, chocolates, and two glasses of some clear liquid. He placed them on the table and plopped back down into his chair. Our legs brushed together once more and my heart fluttered nervously. Izzy picked up one of the chocolates and said, "Close your eyes."
I shot him a suspicious look, "Why?" Izzy gave me a tolerant smile, "You question everything don't you? You can trust me you know, Amy. I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you." Gazing into those caring gray eyes, I knew he was absolutely right. In a soft tone, I replied, "I know. I wouldn't ever want to hurt you either." We stared at each other with a look of longing.
Then Izzy broke the gaze, "Close your eyes. I want you to guess what kind of chocolate this is." I shrugged and closed my eyelids. I didn't like not being able to see. It made me seem exposed. Being vulnerable was something I tried to avoid at all costs. I felt Izzy pop one of the chocolates in my mouth...then I felt his tongue flick across my lips.
Without opening my eyes, I took hold of his upper lip and kissed his gently. Izzy started to kiss me again when Axl shouted, "Get a room, will ya? Fuck this, nothing ever works out right around here!" I opened my eyes just in time to see Axl stand up and stomp away towards the bar furiously.
Now that Axl was gone, the bands members started floating off in different directions. Rick immediately started moving towards the strippers in a daze. I shook my head at him sadly. He was definitely another Vince. Izzy squeezed my hand and suggested, "Go outside with me for a while? Maybe we can get some privacy that way. And we won't have to deal with Axl's shit!"
I nodded eagerly. Going outside with Izzy alone had been something I had been wishing for all night. As a matter of fact, everything had been going according to my plan tonight. The only problem was that I hadn't noticed Izzy drink anything at all. I would just have to cross my fingers that he would be relaxed enough to let his guard down tonight.
I licked my lips and realized that all my lipgloss had rubbed off. I turned to Izzy and said, "I'm just gonna take a trip to the bathroom and then I'll meet you outside." Izzy agreed, "Alright. I'll see you then." This time, I didn't watch Izzy disappear in the crowd. Instead, I hurried to the left corner of the bathroom and flung the door open.
In proportion to such a big building, the bathroom was quite small and dirty. There were only three stalls and a cracked mirror on the wall. The lightning inside of it was dim and there were puddles of water all over the floor. A large wooden door was at the opposite end of the bathroom. I couldn't help but wonder what it there for.
Just as I began to unscrew the cap to my lip gloss bottle open, the door to the bathroom swung open and there was a clicking sound of a door locking. I whirled around to see the blonde woman who had been staring at me earlier standing in the doorway. She gave me a wickedly sweet smile and simpered, "Amy, I presume?"