TL, 9.35 PM.
I just realised something as I'm listening to My Chemical Romance, Bob's left.
Now, yes, I've knew for a long time but man, I can't believe it. It hurts. Yes, sounds faggy and shit but man, I've waited like 3 years maybe abit more to see MCR live, and still I haven't, but Bob Bryar was such a inspiration to me and I'll never get to see him play live, with MCR at least. But I've got a feeling it's his wrists and so does everyone else really, so what if he never plays again? It hurts so much. He was like such a part of what I've became. It's hard to understand, but it's true.
And with Jimmy dying, from Avenged Sevenfold, that hurt like a motherfuckin' bitch. Jimmy was also a huge inspiration to me, both Bob and Jim made me want to learn drums and taught me some other stuff. It still hurts that Jimmy's gone. Avenged Sevenfold were another one of my favourite bands too since round 08 or so. I never got to see them live, and I'll never get to see Jim live.
Some people probably don't understand why kids take it so hard.
It's (probably) mainly because music is all kids have left in this generation. It's all they can hold on to with the state this world is in, the parents, the education system, their individual lives and when something so important like that is ripped away, it hurts. They don't have it anymore. Any with the amount of bands breaking up too.
Man, I don't know what to feel. I feel ripped apart.
My mother said to me last night she doesn't want to see me swinging off a tree, and everytime she says that it hurts so much. That woman hasn't a fucking clue and never will, with the way I've been living the past 3 years.
It's starting to hurt like it used to.
I'm not okay.
I too realised that I'm a fucking coward. I'm not who I am. I don't know who I am. I don't even like to admit I like MCR anymore, or that they changed my life in such a gay way.