the queen of the chat up lines makes her debut
‘Gina baby, I totally think the hot blonde guy from this morning digs me. We got on sooo well in English Lit, it was unreal.’ Belle gushed at the lunch table. The morning had gone with ease, and Damon was surprisingly good at all the lessons we’d had so far, borderline geeky. It was real cute. I just didn’t know how someone so hot could be so smart.
Shallow of me right? But I guess it was the way this school was. If you’re hot – you have enough brains to fill an eggcup. If your not… well then your not.
The guys had taken to Damon surprisingly well, with Archie even inviting him over for a jam session.
Oh, I might not have mentioned, but we’re in a band. We’re actually pretty good. We’re called Pyrotechnics. Seth and I started it when we first got to America. He hooked me up and I accidentally hooked him and Belle up. Belle and I are screamers for the band, though personally I think Archie had the best scream. You should see him if he sees a spider. It’s so high pitched its criminal. Belle and Archie play guitar but Archie’s lead. Belle got lessons off Mikey’s friend Frank. He goes to a Catholic school but he’s an all together bad seed. I should know. I think he’s amazing. Avery’s the drummer. It was the only thing he could do. Seth’s on bass, and I guess I’m the singer. I can’t do anything else. When we first started the band, Gerard and I joked we were going to get famous and be a famous rock star couple. Yeah. He’s the only one getting famous, and as for the rock star couple…
‘Earth to Pyro? Hello Pyro? Do you read me? Im talking. Im talking to you.’ Archie waved his hand in front of my face. ‘Hell im always talking. Do a guy a favour and listen? It’s about this Saturday. The party at my place? Well, our place since you live with me. Hello? Gina G? Midnight? Midnight Feast? Midnight Beast?’ Archie trailed off. ‘Hey has anyone listened to Midnight Beast? They do amazing parodies of songs…’ I clamped my hand over Archie’s mouth.
‘Archie, Stop. Talking,’ I sighed and Damon chuckled along with me, playing with his fries. Archie grinned happily.
‘Sorry I didn’t come home last night. I shacked up with someone.’ He said insanely proud of himself. Damon observed a tall leggy blond cheerleader, as she walked past and flashed her butt cheeks at him.
‘See something you like?’ I asked and he turned those swirling pools of darkness on me.
‘Nope. I prefer brunettes,’ He said with a hint of a smile. I cringed inside and shook my black and pink hair all dignified, like.
‘Well. Pity my hairs not brown.’ I said and then I cringed inside again because, Jesus Christ do I have no shame? He’s been here like three hours and im hitting on him? Lord have mercy on my black and tarnished soul.
‘It is though naturally. Though, im not a fan of natural…’ He grinned and reached out to twirl some hair around his fingers. I smiled slightly, though inside I felt like a Cheshire cat on crack cocaine. Seth looked at me and raised an eyebrow and I felt a bit abashed, for throwing myself at him like all the other girls.
‘Hey. Damon isn’t it? Im Gerard Way, its good to meet you.’ Gerard practically sat on my lap and wrenched Damon away from me. Wow. He came outta nowhere.
‘I see you’ve met the guys, and my cousin, Belle.’ The ‘guys’ all raised an eyebrow and weakly raised their hands. After what happened with me, none of them particularly liked Gerard. He was a jock so they didn’t really like him anyway. Though saying that he was the most emo looking jock I’ve seen….
‘And my girl Gina.’ Gerard said with a smile.
I think it was almost comical the reaction that got. Seth, who was busy cracking his knuckles like he always did when Gerard was around, crackled them all at once, causing a massive CRACK that would have made me wince, if Archie, who’d been chugging away on his Coke hadnt practically spat it all over me. Saying that, I’d taken an overly large swig on my Sprite/Fanta/Coke/Pepsi, and repaid the favour back to him. Avery, got a face full of my drink concoction, and choked on his spliff. The drink put out his spliff, which was also kinda cool.
Gerard put his arm round my shoulder and nibbled my earlobe like he knew I loved. There was a huge bang from under the table and Belle emerged rubbing her head.
‘I wasn’t aware Gina, had a boyfriend,’ Damon said smoothly as though the spitting, cracking, banging and choking hadnt happened. Gerard smiled tightly.
‘Oh didn’t you? We’re real close, me and my sugar.’ I winced again. He knew I loved that too. Damon watched us, as though he knew full well that Gerard and I weren’t dating.
‘Im going to go. I’ll see you later, Damon man yeah? Bye baby,’ Gerard kissed me like I hadnt been kissed before. Well. I had, but never in public and never in school.
Gerard walked off and I sat there with everyone watching me, biting my lip rings and avoiding eye contact.
‘Wow. Gerard Way is not a very likable person. No offence B.’ Archie said grabbing a napkin and wiping his face. He looked at me, and I shrugged.
‘He’s such a prostitute. Why am I related to him?’ She complained, giving him a look with indicated exactly what she would do if she was not related to him.
‘I have no idea what the hell that was.’
As much as I try to convince myself that I hate Gerard Way and all he stands for, I can’t help being a little shaken up by that display. Maybe he had changed? Maybe I should give him a second chance. Yes? No? I sighed, knowing full well I’d give him a second chance – he’d get his booty tang and then piss off again.
‘Im not with him, Damon,’ I said feeling a sudden urge to reassure him that I was single, and on the market.
‘Well, I think im going to be having words with Monsieur Way,’ Belle said to more to herself than anyone. ‘Senior,’ She said quickly as Mikey walked past and gave her a quizzical look.
‘I knew that my Dilestio,’ Damon said lying a reassuring hand on my knee. I smiled back.
‘What does that mean?’ I asked, because it sounded foreign. Damon was about to answer but Archie coughed.
‘So Archie who’s the girl you got physical with, my little virgin lover?’ I asked him jokingly. He smirked.
‘Not so virgin am I, my darling pyromaniac! She’s amazing. She has brilliant taste I must say! And I take that back…’ Archie trailed off looking behind us, and looking very put out. He huffed. ‘She’s over there with Gerard Way.’ Seth clapped Archie on the back and I sighed, not even turning round. Belle glared.
‘Some Boyfriend! She said loudly enough for people to turn and look. Damon smirked and I realised that under the table, his hand was higher than it originally had been. His sleek back cell phone beeped and he didn’t even look at it.
‘Belle, you know what you were saying about the hot blond guy? Im sure he totally digs you. Now speaking of… Keenan. I’d like to introduce you to my new friends.’ The hot blond guy was standing behind Belle smiling.
‘Hi all. Im Keenandas Summers, Damon’s cousin.’ Belle turned round and stuck her hand out.
‘Im Belle Way. Its so nice to meet you.’ She said enthusiastically. The blond boy looked equally as thrilled. Mikey popped up from no where.
‘I just remembered what your names remind me of. You guys ever heard of… Faeiry Legends? King Keenandas of Summer!’ Mikey was grinning his lopsided grin, but Keenan’s eyes were daggers.
‘Keenandas? There must be a mistake. My name’s Keenan.’ Mikey looked taken aback.
‘Im…um… I’m sure you said Keenandas….’
‘No. He said Keenan.’ Damon agreed in a cold voice. Mikey blushed and stammered and made an excuse to leave. I looked after him in pity. Belle looked embarrassed. I glared at the blond guy for making an ass of Mikey when he had said Keenandas or whatever.
‘Im pretty sure you said Keenandas also.’ I said looking at Keenan/Keenandas coldly. Keenan flashed me a brilliant smile.
‘Really? Im sure I didn’t. Oh well, easy mistake to make, eh lovely?’ I glared at him. Kudos to him not to wither under my death glare.
‘Oh baby?’ Gerard said appearing at my shoulder, and kissing my ear. I jumped a little.
‘Baby?’ I asked, turning round frowning.
‘Mhmm. Um, well you know that maths work? Could you drop it over tonight? I’ll make us dinner. Mikey will be there too, you don’t have to worry. Maybe I could play you that song?’
I looked at Gerard like he was from a foreign country. Maybe he was. Planet Dickhead from the galaxy of Cunt. Hmm. That is an excellent song title. I must remind myself to run that by Seth.
‘I though we were going out tonight G?’ Belle said shooting daggers at Gerard yet trying to seem innocent and coy in front of Keenan. Seth was giving Keenan and Gerard a death glare and I had to admire him for it. Gerard had given Seth a bruising more than once for fucking with his cousin, and it looked like Keenan could give Seth one also. Damon tugged on my arm and I looked at him.
‘What’s out next lesson?’ he asked leaning towards me, and I got a whiff of his scent. He smelled of… that male thing, Joop. And of cigarettes and dark alleys on Friday nights. But not in a completely weird perverted way.
‘You smell of, chocolate,’ Damon said, breathing in my hair. I smiled at him blushing a little.
‘You smell…nice.’ We looked at each other and I fell forward into those eyes.
Obviously I didn’t actually fall into them but…
‘Baby? I mean I know your shy and all…’
‘Gerard is that a new haircut? It really suits your face?’ Belle asked from across the table, tapping her long nails against the table. He smiled at her.
‘Actually, B, I think it’s grown out a little…’
‘Awh, Gerard. Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.’
Gerard trailed off from his sentence, looking a little lost and hurt. I felt immediately sorry for him and smiled.
‘I’ll be over tonight Gerard, I’ll get Archie to give me a lift on his bike.’ Archie frowned, and Gerard grinned and walked off.
‘Hey, Georgia I put your bill in your room. You gonna pay it?’ Archie asked bouncing in his seat.
Archie and I lived together, since Mum was shacked up in the Upper East Side with her new boyfriend and Archie had a spare room. It was just us. No parents. And a surprising lack of house parties.
‘What?’ I said looking at him shocked. ‘You mean I have to pay bills? Since when? I though I just got them put on my bedroom table and then filled them in a couple weeks later! I cant believe there more to it than that?’ Archie grinned and the table whooped.
‘Way to go, Gina, making another sarcastic debut,’ Seth congratulated me.
‘Leave her alone, she works in a library.’
‘Oh the city library? I think I saw you putting books away. Do you work there?’ Keenan asked genially. I grinned. He just opened himself up for another famous sarcastic reply.
‘No.’ I smiled, ‘Im a crazy person who likes to steal book carts and put books away. The librarians let me stay because im quiet.’ The table cheered me again and Keenan grinned. Damon clapped me on the back.
‘Oh how I do love me some sarcasm,’ He winked.
‘You’re defiantly shadowing the right girl then,’ Seth winked. Even Avery chuckled.
‘You know she was walked Ave’s dog, and this little old lady was like, do they bite? And Gina was like…’
‘Yeah. And so do you if you think about it,’ Avery grinned slowly. Belle chuckled and fawned over Keenan.
‘And then the lady goes to stroke it, so of course the dog yaps and tries to lick the shit out of her…’
‘And the lady’s like. Oh! Mean dog!’ Seth laughs. I grinned.
‘And then Gina’s all like No. That’s just his way of saying hi and would you like to play… cos you reach down and spoke to him remember?’ Archie giggles like a loon. ‘And the lady is like…but he barking at me.’
‘And then Gina’s like… Well he doesn’t speak English so…’ Belle finished and Keenan and Damon were roaring with laughter. I grinned around the table. Despite Keenandas and our mishap at first they were actually all right. I smiled. I felt like owning some shit. I bit my lip rings and scanned the room. Seth caught my mood.
‘Ohh. Gina’s up for a battle. What is it now?’
‘Sexy. Pick up lines.’ Avery said, blowing something herbal into Belles face. She grimaced at him.
‘Fine, me first. Um. Fuck me. Im beautiful.’ She winked and caused us all to laugh. Archie did a brilliant impression of her.
‘More like, Hi im Belle, I swallow.’ Belle hit him and Keenan laughed.
‘May I pleasure you with my tongue?’ I asked in a very English accent. Damon’s squeezed my leg and I realised how high up he was. He winked at me.
‘Do you like cheesy pick up lines or do you just want to do it?’ he asked and I blushed. Seth cheered him on. Archie laughed.
‘Mines bigger than his,’ He said to Belle, ‘Want proof?’ Belle hit him again and Keenan decided to step in.
‘Would you like to try an Australian kiss? Its like a French kiss but down under,’ Belle shivered and I laughed.
‘Way to go Blondie.’ I cleared my throat determined not to be out done. ‘Nice fucking weather.’ I said to a prep that walked past in his blazer, who was actually quite hot. ‘Want to?’ The prep looked quite scared and we all laughed, loudly.
‘Can I put my thing in your thing?’ Avery offered. N’awhh. He even sounded cute. Belle giggled. She gestured to Mikey with one finger. He came over.
‘I made you come with one finger. Now imagine what I could do with a whole hand.’ Mikey blushed and I shook my head, while laughing.
‘Ew! B he’s your cousin!’
‘By marriage G! Its not by choice.’
‘Lie down, I think I love you,’ Archie crooned to a passing cheerleader who gave him a death glare.
‘Ok!’ I said holding my hands up. ‘Subject change before Archie gets shanked.’
‘Fine.’ Archie pretended to sulk and then his mouth got the better of him. ‘If at first you don’t succeed – Sky diving is not for you!’
‘I am nobody.’ Belle said with a flourish. ‘No body is perfect. Therefore I am perfect,’ I rolled my eyes. And noticed Keenan’s eyes were all over her. He was sitting next to her, but she was scooted so far over, she was sitting on his lap under the table.
‘On the other hand…’ Keenan winked, ‘You have different fingers. Come on cuz. You should be good at this. Don’t they do wit in your court?’
Damon put his hand up. ‘Hush Summers. You have the right to remain silence. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.’
‘Court?’ I asked Damon quietly. Damon shook his head.
‘He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.’ Gerard walked over again, and passed a note to Mikey before grabbing me by the ears and kissing me passionately.
‘Passionate kiss, like a spiders web. Soon leads to undoing of fly.’ He winked before disappearing again. I grimaced
‘Virginity like bubble,’ I smiled. ‘One prick – all gone!’
‘I like the other subject better,’ Archie pouted. And I sighed.
‘Okay. Five each. And I bet you any money I’ll win.’ Avery grinned.
‘Definition of a Transvestite – a guy who likes to eat drink and be Mary!’ Archie grinned and I faux yawned,
‘Sex is like air. It isn’t important unless you aren’t getting any.’ Archie’s face fell and he pouted, while we all laughed.
‘Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes, is the answer!’
‘But no is the reply you get from most girls,’ Nancy said slicking past and practically killing us all with her hair spray.
‘Hi, Damon. Im Nancy. My friends call me Barbie cos im so perfect an all.’ She smiled a perfect lip glossed pout at Damon and he raised an eyebrow.
‘If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?’ I asked Archie innocently and causing Seth and Avery to snigger. Belle grinned also.
‘And Ken. You have to buy her boyfriends too.’ Nancy shot us withering looks and I sipped my coke innocently.
‘I’d love to help you and your cousin Keenan – hi there – around school, show you around town,’ She tilted her head and smiled. ‘Call me?’
Damon smiled slowly, leaning back on his chair.
‘Do i… look like a fucking, peoples person?’ He inquired sexily in that gorgeous voice of his.
‘Well you know. I'm a nice girl. I read my bible.’ Nancy said awkwardly kicking herself she hadnt gotten to him sooner.
‘The Bible was written by the same people who said the world was flat. Get a clue.’ I said, stealing a fry off Damon’s plate. I could feel Nancy’s death ray on the back of my head.
‘Too many freaks, not enough circuses.’ She smiled at Belle. Belle scoffed.
‘And im trying to imagine you with a personality. You! Off my planet.’
‘Who’d want to be on Planet Emo anyway? I’ll see you around Damon. Keenan.’ Nancy stalked off.
‘Its not the size that matters…it’s… oh wait. It’s the size.’ Archie said eagerly, trying to get back into the light mood of things. I wasn’t really up for it. I had a hand on my thigh. And I mean my inner thigh, working its way into a ladder, and I had a nagging feeling that tonight with Gerard was going to be something I’d regret.
‘Did you know when someone annoys you, it takes forty two muscles to frown?’ Archie raised his eyebrow trying to see where I was going with this. ‘It only takes four muscles to extend your arm…’ I did so, ‘And whack them upside the head,’
‘And Queen Midnight wins! Again!’ Seth declared, after we’d all quietened down.
‘I’ll steal your crown one day.’ Archie muttered, mutinously. I winked.
‘Oh I doubt it.’ Damon said playing with my hair and the frills on my skirt. ‘She’s good.’