Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Dreaming With A Broken Heart

Chapter 9

by savedbymcr15 2 Reviews

Mikey learns about Gerard's secret.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2010/07/07 - Updated: 2010/07/08 - 2206 words - Complete

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Gerard tossed and turned while he slept. The horror that he was re-living as he slept was one that he had hidden from everyone except for his mother. He hadn't dared tell Mikey, because Mikey saw him as his hero and protector; Someone who wouldn't get hurt. Gerard figured that if Mikey knew about this hidden part of his past, things would change between them, and that was the last thing he needed. It had all started when he was seven years old.

A seven year old Gerard stood next to a bed in a somewhat dark room. He watched his younger brother, who had yet to turn four, as he slept. Gerard had taken it upon himself to protect Mikey against all of the evils in the world, including the one that he had a feeling was coming. Just as he had expected, the door opened, indicating that someone else had entered the room. Gerard felt his stomach turn into a pit of terror. He slowly turned around to see who it was. His grandfather stood in the doorway, and had Gerard not known any better, he would have thought that it was just a shadow observing him. Gerard offered his grandfather a weak smile as his eyesclouded over with fear. His grandfather moved closer.

"He's not going to be able to look after himself if you're always watching over him. Is that what you want?" His grandfather asked in a tone that made Gerard shiver in fear.

"He won't have to look after himself. I'm going to look after him, because I'm his big brother, and that's my job." Gerard said softly. Before he could take another breath, he found himself on the ground with a stinging cheek.

"Don't you dare talk back to me!" His grandfather growled.

"I was just-" Gerard got cut off by several kicks to his side.

"I told you not to talk back to me. And you aren't going to tell your parents about this, you understand?" His grandfather's husky voice said. Gerard nodded in fear of being hit again if he spoke. "Good." His grandfather said. With that, he left the room, leaving to poor, broken boy on the floor.


Everything in Gerard's view faded to black, and then he realized that he was about to see more of his past. He tried to open his eyes, but soon gave up, accepting defeat and braced himself as he prepared to see more of his secret past.

A ten year old Gerard was now sitting at a table with a six year old Mikey. Gerard was drawing Mikey a picture when their grandfather came up behind them. He peered over Gerard's shoulder and looked at the picture. He had to admit that Gerard was talented, but the sound of his pain-filled screams was much more rewarding to him.

"Gerard, could you come with me for a moment?" He asked. Gerard gave Mikey an apologetic glance before he moved to go with his grandfather. After they were out of Mikey's sight and earshot, Gerard spoke.

"You wanted to see me?" Gerard asked.

"I didn't tell you that you could speak." His grandfather said, slapping Gerard across the face.

"I-"

"-Shut your mouth!" His grandfather said, pushing Gerard onto the ground. He kicked Gerard's side repeatedly.

Gerard whimpered in pain as his grandfather's boot collided with his ribcage.

"Shut up!" His grandfather exclaimed. Gerard managed to stand up, and he ran back into the room with Mikey and sat down, resuming his drawing.

"Gee?" Mikey asked, his voice sounding so small.

"Yeah, Mikey?" Gerard looked at his little brother.

"Why did Grandpa want to borrow you?"

"He just wanted to talk, Mikey." Gerard said sweetly. He looked back down at his drawing.

"Gee?" Mikey asked again.

"Yeah?"

"If you and Grandpa were just talking, why do you look like you're going to cry?"

"I just love you, Mikey. That's all."

"So you're okay?" Mikey asked, looking so innocent.

"Yes, Mikey. I'm fine." Gerard replied, lying right through his teeth.


Gerard fought to open his eyes; He didn't want to see anything else. He fought as hard as he could, and managed to open his eyes. He looked around the room, and remembered everything. However, calling off his engagement to Eliza suddenly seemed to be the last of his problems. He suddenly became aware that he was being watched. He lifted his eyes to meet Mikey's, which were clouded over with worry.

"Gerard, we need to talk." Mikey said quietly. Gerard's heart started to beat a bit faster. Was I talking in my sleep? he wondered. He nodded and got out of the bed, relocating himself to the living room with Mikey.

"What do we need to talk about?" Gerard asked nervously.

"Our past." Mikey simply stated.

"What about it?"

"What would ever make you think that I would hurt you?" Mikey asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"When we were at the clearing, you were begging me not to hurt you." Mikey explained.

"Oh."

"Gee, you would have told me if something bad happened in our past, right?"

"Probably. But who's to say that it was your past, Mikey?" Gerard asked.

"What do you mean, Gerard?"

"Your past is different from mine."

"How?" Mikey asked.

"Life takes people to different places, and puts them through different situations."

"I still don't understand." Mikey said.

"You don't have to. It's my past, not yours."
***
Later that night, Mikey sat next to the phone, getting ready to call his and Gerard's mother. She had to have known what Gerard was talking about. He dialled the number and waited.

"Hello?" Donna's voice came through.

"Hi, Mom." Mikey said quietly.

"What's wrong? You sound upset."

"I need to ask you an important question." Mikey siad, mustering up his courage.

"Alright..." Donna's tone showed that she was nervous about where this was going.

"Did something bad happen in Gerard's past? He begged me not to hurt him earlier, and when I asked him about it, he said 'It's my past, not yours.'" Mikey explained. Donna remained silent. "Mom?"

"You were never supposed to know. Gerard told me so." Donna said solemnly.

"What are you talking about?" Mikey asked, feeling afraid.

"Call me back when Gerard is with you." Donna ordered. She hung up.

Gerard entered the living room to find Mikey waiting for him.

"We have to call Mom." MIkey said, his eyes piercing into Gerard's. Gerard watched Mikey pick up the phone and dial the number. Suddenly, everything clicked, and he realized what was going on. Mikey had called their mother for the truth.

"Mikey, don't. You don't want to do this." GErard said, reaching forward to take the phone. Mikey pressed the 'speaker phone' button just as their mother answered the phone.

"Is he with you?" Donna's voice came through the speaker.

"Yeah, Mom. Gee's here." Mikey replied.

"Mom, don't do this!" Gerard cried out before he could stop himself. He prayed that is mother wouldn't tell Mikey about his past. After so many years, Mikey couldn't know.

"Gerard, he's your younger brother...He deserves to know." Donna said quietly.

"Mom, no! You promised me that he wouldn't know, and that you wouldn't tell him!" Gerard begged.

"Gerard, he's a smart man. He would have figured it out eventually!" Donna tried to reason.

"I'm still here, you know!" Mikey threw in. He was beyond confused and scared at this point. Whatever had happened in Gerard's past was serious, and it hurt Mikey to know that Gerard had been hiding something this big from him.

"Mikey, you need to understand that what you're about to find out is very serious, and cannot be taken lightly." Donna said. This was a tone that Mikey was unfamiliar with coming from his mother.

"Mom, he doesn't need to know!" Gerard cried. His eyes were brimming with tears. Mikey was certain that what ever his was about to find out would change things.

"Gerard, I'm sorry. We can't keep this a secret from him anymore. He deserves to know what you went through, especially since most of the time, you were doing it to protect him." Donna tried to reason, her voice cracking as she spoke.

Donna took in a deep breath over speakerphone. It was obvious that whatever she was going to say would be difficult. She knew that things would change, but something in her told her that telling Mikey was the right thing to do.

"Mikey, are you ready?" She asked.

"As ready as I can be..." Mikey said quietly. He glanced over at Gerard, who had become overly fascinated with the floor.

"When you and Gerard were both quite young, Gerard had this habit of watching over you. He figured that if he was always there, you couldn't get hurt," Donna began. "However, he got hurt instead. He would get hurt badly, but he never complained. He just wanted to keep you safe."

"How young were we, Mom?" Mikey asked nervously, glancing at Gerard again.

"He was seven, you weren't even four years old yet." Donna sighed.

"What do you mean when you say that he got hurt, Mom?"

"Someone would hurt him. They would hurt him badly, but as long as you were safe, Gerard never complained."

"You still didn't answer my question completely," Mikey cut in. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach as to where this was going. When you say that someone hurt him...You don't mean that he was...Abused, do you?" Mikey asked, almost choking on his words. He looked at Gerard and noticed how he flinched.

"I'm afraid so, Mikey." Donna answered, her tone filled with pain.

"How?" Mikey asked weakly. He suddenly began to feel sick.

"Gerard, you'd be the best one to tell him that." Donna said.

"He would hit me...And then he'd push me down. Just when I thought it was over, he would hit me...He'd kick me while I was down..." Gerard explained. He sounded like he was fighting just to get the words out. "He even hit me with a belt sometimes." Gerard added, his voice barely above a whisper. He was fighting to get the words out. If his mother wanted Mikey to know, then Gerard would try tp explain, though each word felt like a razor blade on his tongue. It hurt too much to talk about, but he would try.

Mikey observed Gerard. He was pale, his eyes were filled with pain and fear, and the tears that slowly rolled down his face were like the memories and secrets that were coming out. Mikey moved closer to Gerard, but Gerard moved away. He was building walls around himsself while inside, he was ready to break; Crumble to pieces.

"Who?" Mikey asked. He continued to look at Gerard. "Who hurt you?"

"Grandpa." Gerard choked out.

"Why? He had no right to hurt you! Was that the only time?" Mikey asked.

"Mikey, calm down!" Donna's voice screamed through the speaker.

"Calm down?! How am I supposed to calm down?!" Mikey screamed back.

"You're only making this harder for him!" Donna cried.

Mikey looked at Gerard, whose tears were now falling like rain on a dark night. He moved closer to Gerard.

"I'm sorry, Gee. But will you answer my question?" Mikey asked. He didn't know how to handle all of this new information. Gerard nodded slowly. "Was that the only time?" Mikey asked again. Gerard hesitantly shook his head. "When else did this happen?"

"When we were visiting...You were six and I was ten." The words came out. He sounded like he was forcing the words out, and they wavered and shook.

"You mean...You lied to me when you said you were okay?" Mikey asked, holding back his own tears.

"I just didn't want you to find out. He would have hurt you, too. I couldn't let that happen." Gerard said.

"I grasped onto those words like a life line when we were kids." Mikey whispered. He couldn't bear to think about the fact that Gerard had been hurt, or the fact that it was partly his fault. "You were hurting, but you never trusted me enough to tell me..." Mikey looked up at Gerard, who looked like he had been shot, by the amount of pain on his face.

"He trusts you with everything in this world, Mikey." Donna's voice rang out. Mikey had forgotten that she was there.

"I told you, Mikey. I didn't want you to get hurt. You're everything to me." Gerard whispered. Mikey observed Gerard, and could see the uneasiness in his body. "Mom, we'll talk to you again soon." Gerard said quickly before hanging up the phone. He looked around and he felt a strange tingling sensation in his neck. He hadn't felt that way since the last time he had seen his grandfather. I must be paranoid. Gerard thought. However, the sensation in his neck became more powerful. Suddenly, Gerard felt like he couldn't move, and everything started to take a toll on him all at once. Before Gerard could get a word out, a world of darkness claimed him, leaving everything he knew behind.
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