I walked into the cafeteria and was surprised by the number of people eating inside. I knew that it had stopped raining, but I didn't think anyone would be eating outside, considering all the mud. I shrugged and walked through the lunch line. I wasn't very hungry but I had promised my mom that I would eat something. I grabbed a banana half and walked to the table that me and Nikki would sit at.
I had just taken the first bite of the banana when I noticed someone sit down beside me. I looked up from my food and was met with Quinn's smiling face, “I didn't want to sit by myself, or outside...” she paused, “Then I saw you sitting here.”
I nodded, “It's good to have some company.”
She smiled. I noticed that she didn't have any food, either she wasn't hungry or she wasn't eating. I sighed, “Aren't you going to eat anything?”
She shook her head, “No.” She paused, “I don't normally eat at school.”
I looked at her, “Do you eat at all?”
She rolled her eyes, “Sometimes... I never got my eating habits back after my girlfriend died.”
I nodded, “I know what you mean.” I held up my banana and she smiled.
I took another bite of my banana and looked at Quinn. She was staring at the table, obviously she was done talking. I shrugged and finished my banana. I started thinking about her story. She had definitely had a hard life. First, her girlfriend, then her parents.
I wouldn't be able to handle all that. Yea, I had pretty much lost my father, but I didn't care for him much, and yea, I lost Nikki. She was the only person in my life that I had really truly cared about, other than my mom.
I wondered how she dealt with her girlfriends death when she first died. By the way she acted, it probably tore her up. There were still traces that she was still not completely over it. I thought back to the story she told me about it. ”When it first happened I couldn't believe it. I kept thinking that she was still alive, just being held hostage or something.”
I tried to shake the thought out of my head. I had seen Nikki's body. I knew that she was really gone, there was no way that she could still be alive, somewhere. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I knew that there was no way that it could be possible, yet at the same time I couldn't not believe it.
I was brought out of my thoughts when Quinn put her hand on my shoulder. She looked at me, concern filling her eyes, “Is something wrong? You look like you're about to cry?”
I sighed and rubbed my eyes. I hadn't even realized what I looked like, “I'm fine...” I paused. I looked her in the eyes, “You said that when your girlfriend first died, you didn't believe that she was actually gone. That she was alive somewhere, right?”
Quinn nodded and smiled, “Yea, I still wish that were true.”
I shook my head, “Do you think that could ever happen?”
She shrugged, “I don't know... Probably.” She paused, “In Jeanie's case, I didn't get to see the body... Mainly because I didn't want to, but everyone that did assured me that she was really gone. Never coming back.”
I was about to say something, but she started talking first, “You don't think your girlfriend could still be alive do you?” she asked.
I shook my head, “I don't know... A part of me thinks that it is impossible. I saw the body myself...” I paused, “Another part of me thinks she might still be out there.”
She put her hands on top of mine and sighed, “Jay, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I highly doubt that she is still out there somewhere.”
I nodded, “I know, but there's still the possibility, even you said so. You said that it could happen.”
She sighed, “But you saw the body... You know that she was gone.”
I shook my head, “That doesn't mean anything... She could have been drugged or something.”
She shook her head, “All I can tell you is that I highly doubt that she is still alive.” she paused, “If you still believe that there is any chance of her still being alive, you can always go to the coroner and ask him. He would know.”
I nodded, “That's a good idea.” I paused, “I think I'll go see him this Saturday.”