I drank more and more. I see what he’s doing, waiting for me to beg for him to come back, he’s probably getting fucked up by some other guy this moment in time. I cried as I thought about it. I loved him, but I never did show him. I’m the twat, I never showed I cared. I took advantage, I abused him. I was discussed at myself. I went out, I went to the gay club for a bit, just to drink.
Some drunk guy came over to me.
“Hey gourgous, you single?” he asked. Was I? I guess I was, now.
“Yeah, you?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he surred.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Ray,” I answered.
“Mine is Owen,” he said.
“Your place or mine sexy?” he slurred.
“What?” I asked.
“Come on, you know you want it,” he said. Did I? I guess my mind was all fucked up at the moment, why shouldn’t I? I have lost Gerard and my grip on life? Why shouldn’t I?
“Yours,” I said.
“Come on then,” he said.
We managed to get to his apartment.
He pushed me on the bed.
“I’m going to be your little slut tonight, I’ve been such a bad boy and I need punishing,” he said. I guess he liked it like this, to be called all the names under the sun.
“I’m sure I can think of one,” I said.
“I bet you can,” he said. He stipped naked in front of me.
I did too. He lay on his front on the bed.
“Hit me!” he screamed.
I hit his butt.
“Oh fuck! Again!” he screamed.
I hit it again and again.
“Fuck me!” he screamed.
“Fuck me raw and hard,” he said.
I entered him quickly.
He screamed in pain. I thrusted in and out of him.
“Call me names! Do anything you want to me!” he screamed.
“Beg like a whore, beg me to punish you,” I said.
“Oh please, God, fuck me!” he screamed.
“Come on bitch, is that all you got?” I asked.
“Fuck me so fucking hard that I can’t walk or sit for a week,” he moaned.
“I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t move for a month,” I said.
“God yes! Please! I want it!” he screamed.
I hit his spot, I always avoided Gerard’s, why did I? I can’t even remember why.
“Fuck! Do that again,” he said.
I hit it over and over again.
I soon came, he came after me. I collaped on the bed, I waited a few minutes then turned over to find he was sleeping.
I grabbed my clothes, and quickly put them on.
I quickly went. I felt guilt, how could I? I mean Gerard said if I sorted myself he would come back to me, I’ve just messed it all up.