I was about to doze off when I heard someone knock on the door. Bert got off the bed and saw who it was. I guess it was FFTL, well not all of them, but Jeph was with Sonny and Matt. I was a little surprised to see Sonny again. I thought I wouldn't see him again for quite a long time.
'Hey.' Sonny said sitting down on the couch.
'Hi.' I said nervously.
'What have you been up to?'
'Just hanging out on tour with them.' I replied pointing toward Bert and Jeph. I wanted to get out of this conversation. I hurt him so badly when I told him I wanted to give Bert another chance, and here he is still talking to me. I wouldn't even want to talk to me after that. I just smiled at him and began to get up.
'You don't have to go. I know things have been weird for us since... Yeah, but it's alright.' He reassured me.
'It's not that, it's just that I feel really horrible. I gave Bert another chance, and we're dating now.' I just wouldn't shut my mouth. I didn't want to say that, but I did anyway, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Please, don’t worry. I’m the one who told you to go for it… I, uh, I guess I hoped that it wouldn’t work out, which is really selfish of me.’ He sighed.
‘I understand that feeling.’ I said.
‘You should just go be with him.’ Sonny smiled a fake smile and walked away from me. I decided to listen to him and just go be with Bert. I could tell though that Sonny was getting really jealous of Bert and I. Things were working out great between Bert and I, and I didn’t want to tell Sonny that.
‘Hey, what’s up?’ Bert asked.
‘Oh, nothing. I’m just sleepy.’ I smiled.
‘You can go to sleep.’ He smiled back. I shook my head and started walking around our room. I wondered what the guys were going to do now, with their van wrecked and everything. They had no real way to tour. I kind of felt bad about that too. I was standing in our mini kitchen, it was nothing like a real kitchen, but it was neat. I saw Jeph looking all down, Bert was talking with Matt, and Sonny was just sitting on the couch. I really wanted Lilly here. She would make this fun. I decided to go to bed. I said good night to everyone and laid on my bed. As soon as I laid down, I was out.
The next morning, I woke up to find everyone gone. There was a note on the table, it said “Hey Livvy, went to get Lilly. I think the rest of the tour was cancelled. Love, Bert and Jeph.” I knew it would be cancelled. I wonder why Lilly’s getting out so soon. I thought she had to stay for a few days…
‘We’re back!’ Bert laughed running into the room.
‘Hey!’ I smiled pulling Bert into a big hug.
‘You just woke up, didn’t you?’ He laughed.
‘…Yeah.’ I said.
‘Quinn, Jeph, Lilly, and Branden are waiting for us outside. We’re going back home for a week. At least until we get a van. I told Jeph not to write the tour was cancelled, but oh well.’ Bert went on, ‘Anyway, do you have everything packed?’
‘I do.’ I said proudly.
‘Good, then let’s get moving baby.’ He jumped in the air and did a dance as we left the room. His bags were already downstairs, all we had were mine. It wasn’t much really. When we were downstairs, I saw Lilly crying a little bit.
‘What happened?’ I asked her.
‘I lost it, last night in the middle of the night.’ She cried. That made no sense though.
‘What?’ I questioned.
‘I lost the baby, and Quinn along with it.’ She cried even harder. Now that she mentioned it, I didn’t see Quinn anywhere near her. I wonder what happened. I would have to ask later when the guys aren’t around. Instead, I went looking for Quinn. I knew he was around this place somewhere. I found him sitting in the lobby on the phone.
‘Uh, Quinn.’ I said looking at him.
‘Yeah?’ He asked covering the speaker of his phone.
‘We’re going to leave.’ I half-lied. We were going to leave, but not yet.
‘Ok.’ He said and began talking again.
‘Quinn.’ I almost started laughing. I was bugging him.
‘What?’ He asked getting aggravated.
‘I was wondering what happened with you and Lilly.’ I told him.
‘Nothing, nothing happened. Ok? Are you done?’ He got up and walked outside to the others.
‘Isn’t someone a little grouchy.’ I said to myself. I followed him outside and sat in the van, it was a rental. Everyone else pilled in shortly after I got in. This was going to be a long drive. As soon as we started moving, I was out.
We were on our way to Utah. To be honest, I didn’t want to go there. I wanted to go back home. This just sucked, being around him. I can’t believe he broke up with me, and over something so stupid, well… it seems like it was something stupid, but he never gave me a reason. Just the thought of what happened hurts.
‘Quinn.’ I sighed.
‘What?’ He asked sitting next to me. We were in the very back next to each other, Jeph and Branden were in the next row, and Livvy and Bert were up front.
‘Why did you break up with me?’ I wondered.
‘I have my own reasons.’ He stared out the window.
‘What are they? I deserve to know why you broke my heart.’ I told him.
‘I don’t want to say.’ He said.
‘Fine.’ I looked away from him out my own window. He was being such a jerk.
‘Lilly, I just… I don’t want to hurt you anymore than what I was. You wouldn’t understand, you would just get angry.’ He told me.
‘Well, you didn’t have to break up with me. I would have taken whatever it was and tried to make things better.’ I replied not looking over at him. I could feel him staring at me.
‘I’m sorry.’ He apologized. I didn’t say anything to his apology. I didn’t want to forgive him. I felt his hand move over to mine and take it in his. I didn’t stop him. Maybe it made him feel better. Eventually I fell asleep without even realizing it.
By the time I woke up, we were in Utah. I can’t believe I slept that long. My head was in Quinn’s lap when I woke up. At first he didn’t notice that I was awake, but then when he did he smiled at me.
‘You’re finally awake.’ He smiled.
‘Yeah.’ I said sitting up again.
‘I have thought it over, and I broke up with you for a dumb reason. I thought you wouldn’t understand, but I know you would. See, someone called me while you were sleeping. I don’t want to say what she said or anything, but it made me rethink being with you. I know I shouldn’t have second thoughts about us, but I did. Then, when you lost the baby… I just felt like we shouldn’t be, you know.’ He went on.
‘She? What did she say?’ I asked.
‘Something.’ He looked at me shamefully.
‘What did you do?’ I began getting serious.
‘It was Holly,’ He looked down at his fidgeting hands, ‘She said that she…’
He never finished his sentence, ‘Ok… Whatever Quinn, did you see her?’
‘Don’t lie to me.’
‘Why? And while we were together. What happened?’ I asked him.
‘We had a thing.’
‘What type of thing?’
‘Sexually.’ He turned completely away from me.
‘I see. After you said that you wouldn’t cheat again, you even promised.’ I reminded him.
‘I know, and I’m sorry. That’s why I broke up with you. Stupid huh?’ He sighed.
‘If you say so.’ I said and moved up a seat. I sat at the end next to Branden for the rest of the ride to SLC. We pulled up to a small house, and Branden got out. He said he’ll see everyone when they tour again and went inside. The next house we pulled up to was bigger, and Quinn, Jeph, Bert, and Livvy all got out of the van. I just sat there.
‘Aren’t you coming?’ Livvy asked me.
‘I don’t know. I guess.’ I said getting out of the van and following her inside. Her house was bigger and nicer then what I thought it was going to be. ‘He cheated on me again.’
‘What?! Are you serious! How dare he.’ She jumped at my confession.
‘Yeah, Holly called him, and he answered to her booty call. He broke up with me too. He’s a jerk.’ I complained.
‘Yeah, I would get things straight between him and you, otherwise find someone else. I wouldn’t deal with that stuff again.’ She told me. I nodded my head in agreement.
‘I think I’m going to try to move on. You know, find someone new.’ I told her.
‘What about Jeph?’ She asked.
‘What?’ I said. I didn’t want to go there again. Quinn already accused me of playing games with the two of them. I didn’t need anymore drama.
‘He’s in love with you.’ She dragged out the “love with you” and walked away from me. I stood in the kitchen not knowing where to go or what to do.
‘You look lost.’ Jeph said coming into the room.
‘I think I am.’ I sighed.
‘Here, I can show you to a room.’ He smiled and walked me to the room I could stay in. It wasn’t big, but it wasn’t too small. I liked it. I whispered a Thanks and set my stuff down on the bed. Jeph didn’t leave the room.
‘Yes?’ I asked looking at him.
‘Nothing. I just, nothing.’ He let out a little sigh and let me be. I stayed in that room for the rest of the day. It was past midnight when I went into the kitchen. I walked past the living room and saw Jeph on the couch sleeping.
‘Hey, Jeph.’ I shook him until he woke up.
‘Huh?’ He said groggily.
‘Aren’t you going to sleep in a bed?’ I asked him.
‘I gave you my bed. Otherwise you would have had to sleep in Quinn’s room. Or even with Livvy and Bert. There’s only three bedrooms here.’ He smiled sitting up.
‘Well, you can still sleep in there.’ I told him. It really wasn’t a big deal.
‘That’s where you’re sleeping though.’ He sighed.
‘So what, you can sleep there too silly. It is a big bed.’ I laughed. He just smiled and started walking toward his room. I went back to the kitchen and got a snack to eat before going back to bed.
When I woke up, it was eight in the morning. Ugh. I looked over to one side of me and saw Lilly. That was a surprise. I don’t remember coming in my room last night. I didn’t want to move though, I might wake up Lilly. She looked so peaceful sleeping, I wanted her to stay there next to me forever. But she had to wake up sometime. There was no way I would be able to fall back asleep.
‘Hey.’ I heard Lilly say as she started sitting up, ‘What time is it?’
‘Past eight… in the morning.’ I laughed.
‘What? Oh my. I guess that’s what I get for sleeping half the day yesterday.’ She smiled at me.
‘How did I get in here. I don’t remember coming in my room.’ I asked.
‘I woke you up and told you to sleep in a real bed. You didn’t want to because I was sleeping in here, but I made you.’ She began laughing. It must have been because of the look I had on my face.
‘I love you.’ I said out loud. Instantly I covered my mouth.
‘Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.’ She smiled and stood up. I watched her walk out of the room before I got up myself. Surprisingly, Livvy, Bert, and Quinn were all up too. I started getting a little bit worried about them. I hoped that they didn’t think Lilly and I slept together, which, technically we did but not in a sexual way.
‘Hey bro, I thought you were sleeping on the couch last night?’ Livvy looked at me confused, ‘Or did you-’
‘No, I didn’t. Lilly told me to sleep in my own room, so I guess I listened.’ I confessed.
‘Everyone listens to her. She has this thing over everyone… well, guys at least.’ Quinn sighed. I agreed with him, but only to myself. Quinn gave me this odd look, as if he was angry with me. Maybe it was Lilly and the fact that I slept next to her and he didn’t. Bert and Livvy sat on the couch and started watching some news thing on TV. Quinn walked away from me toward the bathroom, and Lilly was no where to be found. I went and got something to eat. I could hear arguing coming from the bathroom by the kitchen. I knew it was Lilly and Quinn. I shouldn’t listen, but I had to.
‘Oh my god Quinn.’ I heard Lilly say.
‘Come on, you know you fucking are.’ Quinn said angrily.
‘I am not! Why the fuck do you care, you can just go back to that bitch Holly.’ Lilly yelled at him. Bert came into the kitchen and heard her yell that.
‘Wow, things must be heated in there.’ Bert waved his hand in the air as if it were hot in here and went back to Livvy. I went back to listening in on Quinn and Lilly.
‘Well, why did you sleep with him then?’ Quinn asked her.
‘I didn’t fucking sleep with him like you are insisting. I had him sleep in his own bed, that’s it.’ She shot back.
‘That is still sleeping with him! Who knows what you could have done!’ He yelled.
‘What the fuck Quinn!?! I fucking went to sleep that’s exactly what I fucking did! It’s none of your damn business if I ever did anything with him.’ Lilly argued.
‘So, you’re saying you would then?’ Quinn almost questioned.
‘You are fucking pissing me off. And, no I wouldn’t have done anything. Why do you fucking care?! If you cared about me or anything I did, you would not have cheated on me three, three Quinn, fucking times.’ I’ve never heard Lilly swear so much. It seemed like they were going to argue forever. But I knew they would stop sometime.
‘I’m sorry, I messed up. I never should have went to Holly, especially since you were in the hospital at the time-’ He started.
‘I don’t fucking care.’ She said plainly.
‘Why won’t you let me explain anything?’ He asked her.
‘Because, it’s going to be all the same. You’re sorry, you messed up, you didn’t mean to hurt me, you want another chance, blah.’ She told him.
‘But, I do. I need you. I love you still.’
‘Quinn, forget it, forget me. I, I, I HATE YOU.’ She yelled at him and began crying. I knew she didn’t hate him, there was no way she could. She loved him, and didn’t love me. I walked away from the bathroom door and back into the kitchen. Lilly came out of the bathroom and slammed the door in Quinn’s face. I felt a little bit sorry for him, but sorry for her too.